Bradley Center
Milwaukee, WI
September 2, 2002
Commentators: Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler
Ring Announcer: Lilian Garcia
Last week was a huge loss all around for Raw. The matches were meh and they lost both The Undertaker and WWE Champion Brock Lesnar to Smackdown exclusive contracts. With a roster full of ECW castoffs, Triple H and not much else, how is GM Eric Bischoff going to respond? Also the Hardcore title was unified with Rob Van Dam's Intercontinental title so the ECW guys don't even have THAT to fight over anymore. Before we do anything we got a dark match.
Dark Match
Johnny Stamboli vs Sean O'Haire
The Mamalukes vs Natural Born Thrillaz two years later. Stamboli faces O'Haire but Sean gets the duke this time.
Winner: O'Haire
Now let's get on with the show. JR and King welcome us to the Bradley Center as we got an IC title match, Chris Jericho vs Rob Van Dam. We also got Shawn Michaels being interviewed live. We're gonna open with a conference with Eric Bischoff carrying a briefcase to the ring. Eric says Brock Lesnar thinks he's the undisputed champion but now that title is very, very disputed. Eric says the fans deserve better than that, they deserve their own world champion exclusive to Raw. Eric says The Undertaker could be Stephanie McMahon's number one contender but the world knows who the REAL number one contender is. Eric does make an ironic line, Undertaker jumping ship to Smackdown is about being a big fish in a small pond rather than swim with the sharks on Raw. Its really the other way around, Smackdown's roster was so stacked. Eric brings out the real number one contender, Triple H. HHH says Eric forgot to mention that Lesnar left is because he's afraid of him. It would be a long time before we would get a proper HHH/Lesnar feud. HHH says the next big thing has no balls and Eric agrees. Eric says if he signed HHH to Nitro back in the day, he would have won the Monday Night War (ha!). Eric opens the briefcase and brings out the old WCW Heavyweight Championship. Eric says he was the last man to wear it, and will once again as he is the new World Heavyweight Champion. HHH poses with the belt and says nobody deserves to be the champion more than him. HHH says Eric is a much better judge of talent than his "ex-wife" is.
All of a sudden, here comes "Nature Boy" Ric Flair to join the party. King scoffs at Flair as Ric agrees that the title is disputed. Ric says Raw deserves to have its own champion and Ross agrees. Flair tells HHH that he's the man, but his problem is HHH wore it once.....Flair held it 16 times. Flair says nobody gave him a title in a briefcase.....which is partly true, Kevin Nash didn't have it in a briefcase when he handed it over in WCW. Flair won it by busting his ass in the middle of the ring and wants HHH to earn it. Bischoff says for the first time in a long time they agree on something and unlike Smackdown's "bogus" tournament, they'll just have a one on one match, Flair vs HHH. JR "Now that's what you call a main event." Eric asks HHH what he's thinking and Hunter says it would be an honor and a privilege. Flair says he's the luckiest man to wrestle HHH and extends a hand. HHH shakes Eric's hand instead before Eric shakes Ric's hand and says "title 17 might be around the corner." Then HHH sucker punches Flair to remind folks he's a heel and walks off laughing. Least Raw has a champion now, too bad the roster is littered with ECW castoffs. We get a graphic for an intergender tables match with Trish Stratus and Bubba Ray Dudley taking on Women's Champion Molly Holly and Christopher Nowinski.
Back from commercial Triple H walks up to Steven Richards and Johnny Stamboli just chilling and Richards congratulates HHH. Bubba Ray Dudley bumps HHH on his way past him and HHH says "got a problem?" Bubba says he does and HHH says he's jealous of him. Hunter says he's used to people being jealous that he's that damn good. Hunter says keep that look because unlike Brock Lesnar, he's going to give the "kid" a title shot if he stands in line and waits his turn (HHH in real life is just two years older than Bubba). Bubba grabs HHH's arm and says "You got it all wrong man. This ain't the look of jealously, its the look of hunger. The hunger to be the best in this business and to one day be world heavyweight champion. Bubba says the belt that HHH is holding is their salvation and to wipe the smug look off his face because Bubba will smack it off. Bubba says one day he'll be world heavyweight champion and now has to go put someone through a table. Least they're establishing contenders. Let's get to the first match.
Match 1
Trish Stratus and Bubba Ray Dudley vs Molly Holly and Christopher Nowinski in an Intergender Tables Match
Rules are simple, both members of the team have to go through a table in order to win the match. Coach interviews Nowinski in a pre-recorded saying after Trish and Bubba burst through tables they'll be celebrating by bursting Molly's hymen. King "WHAT??" JR "I think we got it." King "What is a hymen?" JR "You of all people don't know what a hymen is?" Good luck saying that these days. Bubba throws his glasses at Nowinski at the bell and gets in a headlock. Bubba drops Chris with a shoulderblock and drops an elbow on him. Bubba applies another headlock and blocks a hiptoss with a clothesline. Chris gets football tackled out of the corner and Bubba gets kicked in the head. Chris dropkicks Bubba and tags Molly in. Bubba kicks Nowinsky and goes for a powerbomb on Molly. Molly tries a waistlock and Bubba mock swing dances with her. King "She was trying a hymen manuver wasn't she?" Molly tries to slap him but he catches her arm and pulls her pants down right as a flash bulb at ringside goes off. King "Am I looking at her hymen?" Trish tags in with Molly's pants around her ankles and clotheslines her down twice. JR "Will you get off the hymen?" Trish hits a chick kick, pulls her own pants down and smacks her ass....too bad the camera was facing Trish's face. Trish slaps Nowinski's face as Molly pulls her pants back up. Trish slugs away at Molly and sends her into Nowinski but she takes a bump before Chris can even grab her. Molly rams Trish's face into the mat twice as King continues to yammer on about hymen (nice going Nowinski). Trish hits a running neckbreaker as the crowd chants "We want puppies!" Molly tags in Nowinski who throws Trish down and tags Molly back in. Trish hits a neckbreaker and both men tag in. Bubba hits a backdrop and Chris almost kills himself trying to flip on a flapjack. Kind of like the Sabu spot that broke his neck in ECW. Thankfully Chris is okay and Bubba drags Molly in by the hair. Trish spears Molly and sends her into Nowinski in the corner. Bubba avalanches them both and Molly flops down with Nowinski's face landing in her crotch. JR "Oh my god." Molly is disgusted as Chris get up smiling. Bubba gives him the double thumbs up before throwing him over the top rope (hahahaha). Bubba hits the bionic elbow and scoop slams Nowinski. Trish hits the wazzup headbutt as Bubba tells Trish to get the tables. They throw a table into the ring and set it up. Nowinski drops Bubba with a clothesline and stalks Trish who turns around into a Molly Go Round. Chris throws Bubba over the top rope as Molly puts Trish on top of a table. Molly goes to the top rope and Bubba pushes her off by the hips (a true gentleman) but is dumped off the apron by Nowinski. Christopher goes upstairs and drives off, but Trish moves out of the way causing Nowinski to crash through the table. For some reason, that counts as Molly pulls Trish in the ring. A charge by Trish eats elbow but she still hits Stratusphere. Bubba powerbombs Molly through the table and celebrates with Trish after winning the match. Horrible match and how Molly put up with this humiliation I'll never know.
Time of match: 6:36
Winners: Trish and Bubba
We get a graphic for a handicap match later tonight featuring Kane against the tag team champions Lance Storm and Christian. Back from break Coach is with the Unamericans and asks about their pride. Christian says Americans have no pride and neither does Kane after he ruined everything last week. Lance says they're not the bad guys and trying to point out the flaws in the country. Like Labor Day being celebrated by the fattest, laziest, unemployed people while a 10 year old kid works for 40 cents an hour in a sweatshop. Lance and Christian get interrupted by Test who say after they beat Kane, they're going to finish what they started, holding up a blow torch. This again?
We cut to Stacy Keibler and Terri Runnells in bathrobes with Eric Bischoff. Apparently they have a "Lingerie Pillow Fight" later and Bischoff says fans will be talking about it for years. Yeah, he wasn't kidding...just for the wrong reasons. Eric says he needs to check their wardrobe and they both flash him. Eric says this is going to be great and if it was about "assets" Stacy would win but if its about "pillows" Terri would win. Stacy says her pillows are natural and leaves. King screams that he needs to be the referee.
Meanwhile Ric Flair is lacing his boots when Chris Jericho storms in saying he cant believe his ears. He wants to know what Eric was thinking awarding 53 year old over the hill hasbeen Flair the title shot. Ric said the 53 year old has been made Jericho tap out to the figure four. Ric says he doesn't know what planet Jericho is from as Jericho says he hopes Flair beats "that assclown" Triple H because he'll get the title shot after. He says the title will come home to him eventually and we cut here. On to the next match after break.
Match 2
Booker T vs William Regal
King has WWE Magazine coming out the next day with Booker T on the cover. JR says they have a United Kingdom tour coming up as well. They tie up to start but Regal drops Booker with a European uppercut. Booker clubs away at Regal and drops him with a left arm clothesline. Booker scoop slams Regal and punches Regal on the ground. Booker almost punches referee Nick Patrick in the face as Regal gets the upper hand. Regal rallies with left hands and dodges the axe kick. Regal's knee to the head sends Booker outside and Regal throws him back in. Regal forearms Booker in the head and applies a surfboard. Booker powers out of it only to eat left hands. Booker goes up and over for a sunset flip for 1...2.no. Booker hits a superkick and covers for a deuce but Regal counters with the Regal Cutter. The cover gets 1....2....no. Regal hits another European uppercut to drop Booker then does it two more times. Regal sends Booker off but gets a knee to the face. Regal ducks the axe kick, goes off the ropes but runs into the axe kick. Booker hits the scissors kick and covers for 1..2...3 to win the match. Kind of a pointless match apart from showing Booker is over with the crowd. Booker grabs the mic and says it ain't over until he does the spinaroonie. Booker does it and the crowd (and King) cheers.
Time of match: 3:14
Winner: Booker by pinfall
We cut to Shawn Michaels in a wheelchair getting ready for an interview before commercial. Back from break we get a vignette of Shawn beating HHH at Sumerslam and Hunter hitting Shawn with the sledgehammer. JR asks Shawn what his condition is. Shawn says he's not a doctor or play one on TV and he does have feeling in his legs but his mobility is off. He says he's going to stay in the chair until eventually he'll be able to walk again. King asks if it was worth it and Shawn says he asked himself before the match if the fans would even care. Shawn says it was worth it and thanks God to get in the ring one more time. Shawn says its not the match that put him in the chair, its HHH with the sledgehammer shot. JR asks if he could say anything to Hunter what would it be. Shawn says Triple H should know who Shawn Michaels is but he's forgotten. Shawn says don't hunt what you can't kill and what goes around, comes around. Shawn holds a sledgehammer as we cut to HHH rubbing his title belt and smiling. Back from break we get a graphic for Stacy and Terri with King demanding to be the referee. On to our main event.
Match 3
"Nature Boy" Ric Flair vs Triple H for the World Heavyweight Championship
Dream match as HHH faces Flair for the big gold belt Flair held for so long. Flair's personal referee Charles Robinson holds up the belt as the bell rings. Ross says this should be a great "wrestling" match as Flair takes HHH down and struts. HHH gets a headlock but Flair goes to the drop toe hold. HHH and Flair exchange counters as HHH eats a chop. Hunter bails to the outside and Flair shouts WOOOO. Back inside Hunter drop Flair with a shoulderblock but runs into a hiptoss. Flair gets in an armringer and turns it into an armbar. HHH punches but Flair counters with chops. HHH then hits Flair between the eyes to send Flair into the corner. Flair chops out of it but runs right into a spinebuster. King says Flair doesn't have many enemies in the business because he's outlived them all. Harley Race, Sting, Hogan, Steamboat, Ronnie Garvin, Dusty Rhodes, Vader, Roddy Piper, Lex Luger and Randy Savage were very much alive in 2002. Hunter punches Flair and rams his head into the buckle. HHH kicks away at Flair and Ric does the Flair Flip over the top rope to the floor. Hunter suplexes Flair back inside and covers for 1...2...no. HHH locks in a sleeperhold but Ric counters with a back suplex. Flair misses the knee drop but HHH goes to work on the left leg with elbows. HHH drops a knee on Ric's leg and Ric sells like crazy. HHH does a mock strut and goes to apply a figure four, but Ric cradles him up for 1...2...no. Flair ducks the line and goes for the backslide for 1..2....no HHH clotheslines Flair down but Flair counters with chops. Ric chops Hunter and they exchange strikes and corner whips. Flair drops HHH three times with chops but a charge eats elbow. HHH is whipped over the top to the floor but Hunter snaps Ric throat first off the top rope. Back inside Ric does a one legged atomic drop and applies the figure four. The crowd explodes but HHH grabs the rope. Flair stomps on Hunter in the corner as Ross says if HHH lost the title after an hour he'd become a recluse. Ric goes for another figure four but is kicked right into Charles Robinson. Robinson actually dives out of the ring to avoid the contact and while he's outside, HHH hits a low blow. Hunter hits the pedigree and covers for 1...2...3 to win the match. That was a classic, old school match and was wonderfully done. HHH can now call himself the World Heavyweight Champion.
Time of match: 9:37
Winner: Triple H
After the match Chris Jericho runs out and puts the Walls of Jericho on Flair as HHH laughs on the ramp. Rob Van Dam runs in to make the save but here comes HHH. Van Dam hits a heel kick on Hunter to send him flying. RVD has cleared out both Jericho and HHH as we go to break. Back from break, Big Show is in Eric Bischoff's office. Eric says to trust him and Big Show says not only did he have Jamal and Rosey attack him weeks ago, but he handed Triple H the world title. Show says it should have been him and Eric says to go out and earn the number one contender's spot. He dares Show to impress him and Show says you got it. Eric gets a call on his cell phone presumeably from Stephanie McMahon telling him someone is jumping from Raw to Smackdown to join a family member. Eric "The hell is that? Stephanie McMahon....the bitch! Dammit." Another defector huh...who could that be? Onto the next match.
Match 4
Kane vs The Unamericans (Lance Storm and Christian) in a handicap match
The tag champs face Kane by himself in his first match in four months. JR then realizes a family member is jumping ship to Smackdown could mean Kane (in case you forgot he's Undertaker's storyline brother). The champs stomp Kane as he enters the ring as neither commentator point out Christian is Edge's storyline brother. Kane clotheslines both men down then whips both men into opposite corners. Kane clotheslines Storm and press slams Christian into him. Kane sends Christian into the buckle and uppercuts him. Kane chokebombs Christian but Lance grabs his foot. Kane chases Storm on the floor but they double team him. Kane chases Christian but a drop toe hold sends Kane into the steel steps. Christian and Storm throw Kane into the ring as the crowd chants "USA". Christian chokes Kane with his boot as King says he needs to be the big red white and blue machine tonight. Kane fights out of the corner but Storm hits a springboard forearm. Christian covers for 1..2...no. Christian goes for the blatant choke then tags out to Storm. Lance drops a series of elbows and goes to the blatant choke as well. Christian tags in and punches away at Kane but Kane fights back with right hands. Christian blocks snake eyes and goes for Unprettier but Kane counters with an electric chair. Christian tags out to Storm as Kane sits up. Kane drops Storm with right hands and backdrops Storm. Kane heaves Christian over the top rope and hits a sidewalk slam on Storm. Kane covers for 1...2...no. Kane goes up to the top rope and hits the clothesline. He covers for 1..2...no. Christian broke it up and snaps Kane off the top rope. Storm hits the heel kick and covers for 1..2....no. They double team him but Kane moves out of the way of a Lance Storm superkick, catching Christian in the face. Kane chokeslams Storm and covers for 1..2...3 to win the match. If you ever wonder why tag teams were never taken seriously in the WWE compared to other places, that's why. Kane cleanly beat them on his own. This would always be a recurring theme.
Time of match: 5:25
Winner: Kane by pinfall
Test runs in after the match with an American flag and blowtorch, hitting Kane with the big boot. Test goes to burn the flag but its Bradshaw to make the save. Bradshaw cleans out Lance Storm as Kane gets up and helps Bradshaw get rid of all 3 heels. Bradshaw waives the flag as King says this is great. JR "God Bless America!" We cut to commercial and go right to the next match after break.
Match 5
Big Show vs Tommy Dreamer
So this is the number one contender's match? JR says they'll be at Iowa State University next week as King wants some co-eds. Dreamer gets bum rushed at the bell and Show heaves him into the corner. Show whips Dreamer into the buckle and hits a suplex. Show drops the big leg and covers for 1..2...no, brother. Show tosses Dreamer across the ring and lands a headbutt. Show hits a big boot and puts the foot on Dreamer's chest for 1...2..no. Dreamer gets avalanched in the corner and Show bearhugs him. Big Show lands a forearm to the back and hits a back suplex. He covers for 1...2..no, foot on the rope. Show tosses Dreamer over the top rope and chops him against the barricade. Show sends Dreamer into the ring steps and grabs a steel chair. Show drops the chair and gets in the ring. Dreamer grabs the chair and whacks Show in the back to cause a DQ. Dreamer hits Show in the head twice to drop him with JR saying "Timberrrrr." Dreamer dents the chair by continuing to pound Show with it as the crowd chants ECW loudly. Dreamer does a chair aided elbow drop and leaves. That was POINTLESS! They could have established Show as a monster to face HHH instead you had Dreamer come out on top who's got no star power at all? Vince McMahon's booking was off the wall at this point.
Time of match: 2:42
Winner: Big Show by DQ
Eric in the back gets cornered by HHH and he wants RVD tonight. Bischoff says he's already against Jericho and HHH says screw Jericho, he wants RVD tonight. Jericho comes out of a nearby door says he's got an IC title match and scoffs at HHH. He tells HHH he beat two guys in one night, he wasn't handed the belt. Eric says he doesn't have time for this, so he's making a tag match, HHH and Jericho against Van Dam and Flair. He walks off, Bischoff walks off and Jericho looks pissed. I'd be pissed too, he just lost his IC title shot due to HHH's ego. Again, off the wall booking. Back from break its on to the next match.
Match 6
Jeff Hardy vs Crash Holly
JR figures out that Jeff Hardy might be jumping to Smackdown because Matt is there. Wasn't the whole point of the draft to lock in people to certain shows so stuff like this doesn't happen? King says he WILL be the ref to the lingerie match. Bischoff stops the match before it even starts and says its Jeff that's leaving. Bischoff says a little notice would have been nice, like three minutes. Right on cue here comes Rosey and Jamal for the beat down. Crash leaves and the Samoans double headbutt Jeff. They execute a double flapjack and Jamal heads to the top rope. Bischoff shouts this is what happens to anyone that jumps from Raw to Smackdown. Jamal hits the top rope splash and Eric asks if Jeff is happyn now. Suddenly Crash Holly grabs the mic away from Eric and says Jeff isn't leaving, HE is. Since WWE shortened his name to just Crash (stupidly), they tried to make you forget he's storyline cousins with Hardcore Holly. Bischoff is irate and confused that a guy who hadn't won a real match on Raw in over a year would jump ship.
Time of match: N/A
Winner: N/A
Back from break its on to the next match.
Match 7
Stacy Keibler vs Terri Runnels in a Lingerie Pillow Fight
There's a red carpet in the ring, a bed and a bunch of pillows although Stacy brings one of her own. Ross on commentary throws a shot at the proceedings saying Milwaukee used to have The Crusher and Dick The Bruiser, now we have this. King gets on the bed and Stacy starts bending over in front of the camera before Terri whacks her with a teddy bear. The bell rings and I'm not going to bother with a play by play. They playfight, spank each other and Stacy slams Terri on the bed. Stacy puts an alarm clock in one of the pillows and misses as Terri jumps over it. Terri hits a dropkick, a bronco buster and Stacy trips over King with Terri on top for 1...2...3 to end this disaster. Stacy blames King and hits Terri with the clock pillow before Stacy goes under the ring. She grabs a mop bucket full of something. Stacy dumps what looks to be motor oil on her before emptying pillow feathers on her. So yeah, Stacy tarred & feathered Terri. Let's never speak of this again.
Time of match: 1:44
Winner: Stacy by pinfall
Ross says the main event is up next as we go to break. After commercial, its time for the final match.
Match 8
Ric Flair and Rob Van Dam vs Chris Jericho and Triple H
So much for the IC title match. Jericho and HHH attack RVD before Flair even makes his entrance but Flair makes the save. The faces corner the heels until Flair throws HHH out of the ring. Flair and Van Dam backdrop Jericho together and Flair leaves. Van Dam catches Jericho with a heel kick and a hiptoss then RVD hits the rolling monkey flip. Rob hits a standing moonsault for 1..2...no. Jericho counters a leg sweep with an enziguiri then covers for a deuce. Jericho chokes Rob in the corner as Rob turns a whip into an up and over on the apron. Van Dam slingshot legdrops Jericho and tags in Flair. Ric chops Jericho and punches away at him in the corner. Jericho sends Flair into an elbow by HHH who tags in. Hunter punches away at Flair for the second time in under a half hour. HHH tags out to Jericho who chokes him on the second rope. Jericho says he's the king of the world but misses the jump on Flair. HHH tags in and Flair gets the tag to RVD. Van Dam hits the mule kick on Hunter then the heel kick. Rob throws Jericho over the top to the floor as King calls him an ass clown. RVD hits the top rope dropkickon HHH but Jericho nails Rob with a steel chair behind Earl Hebner's back. HHH covers for 1....2...noooo. Jericho slaps RVD outside with Flair irate in the ring. Back inside HHH covers Rob for a deuce. HHH tags out to Jericho who hits a vertical suplex. Jericho puts his foot on Rob's chest for a 1 count. The crowd chants "Fozzy sucks" as Jericho schoolboys RVD into the Walls of Jericho. Ric chops Jericho down to save Rob but Chris knocks Flair off the apron. The heels double team Rob in the corner and HHH taunts Flair by keeping Rob from making the tag. Flair punches HHH from the apron and clotheslines Jericho over the top rope. HHH clotheslines Flair over the top leaving RVD alone with him. Van Dam hits the stepover heel kick and rolling thunder. Rob covers for 1...2...no. RVD counters the pedigree with a backdrop then hits a heel kick. Van Dam goes up top but Jericho throws him off the top. Jericho and Flair slug it out and Jericho hits the lionsault on RVD. HHH covers him for 1...2..no. Flair puts the figure four on Jericho on the floor while HHH grabs the World Championship belt. RVD hits a Van Daminator using the belt then goes back upstairs. Van Dam hits the five star frog splash and covers for 1..2...3 to win the match. King "I'll be damned, I can't believe it!" Van Dam beats HHH who already wrestled earlier and took a belt shot to the face. Van Dam holds the World Title and the IC title on the second rope. There's your next contender, folks. Mid match but it put over Rob as the top contender to HHH.
Time of match: 9:37
Winners: Rob Van Dam and Ric Flair by pinfall
That show was AWFUL. Between the hyman jokes, the short Booker match, the pillow fight, Eric having the Samoans attack the wrong guy and HHH being in not one, not two, but three segments, it was too much. The show will be forever known as the re-introduction of the big gold belt but the rest of it was a complete mess. Raw had a serious lack of star power that would take forever to fix. The IC champ was now the top contender to HHH pretty much by default. Apart from that, there's not much to look forward to on Raw with the tag champs looking foolish and Test's gimmick of trying to burn the flag. Smackdown comes to you from Green Bay, I'll see you there.
No comments:
Post a Comment