WWE Velocity
America West Arena
Phoenix, Arizona
October 12, 2002
Commentators: Mark "Dorkus Malorkus" Lloyd and Michael Cole
Ring Announcer: Justin Roberts
This week's velocity will be a bit of a let down because this version of the show doesn't have the recap portion. It'll be just straight matches this week. Smackdown sucked this week anyway so that's probably for the best. Our matches are Chuck Palumbo vs Ron Simmons, Albert vs Funaki and Chavo Guerrero Jr vs Crash Holly. Cole and Lloyd welcome us and we head for the first match. By the way, that's Justin Roberts doing the ring announcing instead of Tony Chimel.
Match 1
Chavo Guerrero Jr vs Crash Holly
We're going to open things up with a Cruiserweight match between Velocity regular Crash Holly and Chavo Guerrero Jr. We take a look at the brackets for the WWE Tag Team Championship Tournament with Los Guerreros taking on Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit with Edge & Rey Mysterio Jr against Reverend D'Von and Ron Simmons. Apparently this coming Smackdown will be in Toronto as Crash gets a big pop for his entrance. Crash wants a test of strength to start but Chavo rams his head in the buckle and clubs away at him. Chavo gets shoulderblocked and decked with a right hand. Crash gets an armdrag and an armbar but Chavo gets a knee to the ribs. Crash backdrops Chavo on the apron but Guerrero snaps him neck first off the top rope. Chavo back inside puts the boots to him and chokes him on the middle rope. Cole and Lloyd ignore the entire match so far to talk about Angle and Benoit. Lloyd tries to get in that Crash is favoring his neck but Cole completely ignores him to talk about Stephanie McMahon and the tournament. Again, don't blame Cole, blame the stooge in his ear forcing him to ignore the ring. Chavo does a reverse neck vice but Crash escapes to the corner. A charge eats boot and but Chavo cradles Crash and puts his feet on the ropes for 1...2...nope. Cole cuts off Lloyd to talk about Brock Lesnar and Undertaker as Crash throws Chavo into the corner. Crash backdrops Chavo and stomps away at him in the corner. Crash goes for a monkey flip but Chavo blocks it, only to eat a reverse atomic drop. A clothesline and cover gets a two count as Crash gets hotshotted into the corner. Chavo does a brainbuster and covers for 1...2....3 to win the match. Crash can usually keep up with the Cruiserweights but it looked like he couldn't keep up with Chavo here. Maybe Crash just had an off night, either way it was meh but not terrible
Time of match: 4:37
Winner: Chavo by pinfall
Since this recording doesn't have the recaps, we go straight to the next match.
Match 2
Albert vs Funaki
This was on last night's show in Edmonton but this preceeded that since this was taped on Tuesday. Albert grabs the mic before the match and cuts a promo saying he's number 1 Velocity prisoner. He's pissed that he's been regulated to Velocity and beating up reporters. He wants Michael Cole and Mark Lloyd next. He claims he's 6 foot 7, 350 pounds and the best looking guy in the lockerroom. He wants respect but gets a chorus of boos. He says what he's gonna do to Funaki, he can do to everyone in the crowd. Funaki comes out with a mic of his own and says he's SMACKDOWN NUMBA WUN ANNOUNCA to a chorus of cheers. Funaki says he's got a question for him, why doesn't he shave his back. Albert is irate as Funaki gets in the ring to start the match. Funaki ducks a punch but his strikes don't have any effect. Funaki kicks Albert's legs but he no sells them and goes for a powerbomb. Funaki goes for the sunset flip but Albert punches the mat. Albert does an over the shoulder backbreaker and covers for a two count. Albert attacks Funaki in the corner as the crowd chants Shave Your Back again. Albert blames Funaki but swings and misses. Funaki swings and misses and Albert again roughs up Funaki in the corner. Albert slingshots Funaki into the second rope and covers for 1..2...nope. Albert rubs his forearm in his face and gets in a neck vice. Albert throws Funaki down and then in the corner. A charge in the corner eats boot but Albert drops him with a forearm. A third charge misses and Funaki dropkicks the legs and drops a leg on Albert. Funaki goes up to the top but Albert catches him in mid-air. Somehow Funaki turns it into a tornado DDT and covers for 1.....2..nope. Funaki dropkicks Albert and covers for a two count then ducks under the bicycle kick. He grabs the back hair and does a jawbreaker, but runs right into the Baldo Bomb. He covers for 1..2...3 to win the match. Not a bad big man vs little man match as Funaki had to stick and move to stay alive. Unfortunately he walked right into the Baldo Bomb and that was it.
Time of match: 4:29
Winner: Albert by pinfall
Again, with no recaps we go right to the main event.
Match 3
Ron Simmons vs Chuck Palumbo
Billy and Chuck got beat by Ron and Reverend D'von on Smackdown and Chuck wants revenge. The funny part was this match was filmed BEFORE that loss. Cole says it was never explained why Ron turned heel or returned to his real name but here we are. Ron is wearing his old Acolytes tights and Chuck wants a handshake. Ron clotheslines him instead and pounds away on him with forearms. Ron charges in the corner but eats boot. Palumbo clotheslines him and Ron bails. Chuck punches him on the floor and rams his head into the steel steps. Palumbo punches him again and Ron slides in the ring. Chuck punches Ron in the ring but Ron drops him throat first off the top rope. Ron locks in an abdominal stretch as Cole starts babbling about the "Tracy" angle...ugh. Chuck counters with a hiptoss and covers for a deuce. Ron gets a knee to the ribs and scoop slams Chuck. Ron hops on the second rope but jumps into an overhead suplex. Chuck's punches have little effect but one big discuss punch floors Ron. Chuck calls for the sueprkick but misses. Ron hits a spinebuster and covers for 1...2....3 to win the match. Short and sweet as two big hosses went at it. Unfortunately they only had 3 minutes to all Chuck did was punch, kick punch.
Time of match: 2:59
Winner: Simmons by pinfall
That's it for this week. Without the recaps, the show loses a bit of luster. All three matches were rather short and not that great. Bad Raw, bad Smackdown, meh Velocity. Tomorrow night's Heat is NOT looking good. Before we get to Heat, we got a double shot tomorrow as both Raw and Smackdown have house shows. Raw continues its upstate New York run while Smackdown pushes through Canada. Raw will be in Buffalo so I'll see you there.
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