Six days after No Mercy, Smackdown took its stars to Manchester, England for what would be the final Rebellion ppv. The storylines continued over from No Mercy with a few exceptions here and there. Brock Lesnar was supposed to face The Undertaker in yet another match but the dead man was too hurt (and his child was on the way) and Edge would take his place. We also get to see a inter-promotional match featuring Booker T and newly heel Matt Hardy. Other matches include Los Guerreros taking on the tag champs of Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle plus the continuation of the Dawn Marie/Torrie Wilson storyline....ugh. Anyway lets get to the event.
OCTOBER 26, 2002
M.E.N. ARENA
MANCHESTER, ENGLAND
Commentators: Michael Cole and Tazz
Before we do anything, we had a dark match to open the show.
Dark Match
Bill Demott vs Shannon Moore
These two were on the European tour working the non-televised shows in Finland and Ireland. May as well have them get a match in before the show started to keep the crowd hot. Demott won in about 5 minutes.
Winner: Bill Demott
Stephanie McMahon comes out to open the show shades of GLOBAL WARNING TOUR. She welcomes the fans and lets us know Undertaker won't be here and will be replaced by Edge to take on Heyman and Brock in a handicap match. Steph says she wants to make Rebellion the best ppv of the year and announces she's purchased the services of Booker T for one night. The crowd goes nuts as Booker T enters wearing the short black tights. Steph leaves so we get to our first match,
Match 1
Booker T vs Matt Hardy
This would be the inter-promotional showdown and on paper it looks to be a good one. These two had been working together in Finland and Ireland the past two days to get ready for this match. Hardy enters to his new Monster Magnet theme and his V1 message for the night is "Matt loves English muffins" ha.Hardy comes out with a microphone and proclaims he is here. Hardy calls Booker a sucka and makes his entrance. They circle to start as the crowd is rabid for Booker. Matt goes for a test of strength to psych out Booker then Booker does the same. Cole calls it "Bookatutde", They finally lock up and Hardy armdrags Booker halfway across the ring. They lock up again and Booker synches in a headlock before exchanging go behinds. Shoulderblock goes nowhere then Booker counters a hiptoss with 2 clotheslines and a dropkick that sends Hardy outside. Cole shills Edge's title shot before Hardy rolls up Booker out of nowhere for a 2 count. Hardy says "I was this close" and Booker slaps him down. Booker rams Matt's head into the top turnbuckle but is whipped into the opposite corner. A charge by Matt eats elbow and Booker goes for a reverse roundhouse kick but Hardy slides underneath the bottom rope. Hardy takes a breather outside before Booker goes after him. Booker chops him then sends him back inside where they do the "First guy in puts the boots to the second" routine. Matt unloads with forearms until Booker rallies with right hands. Hardy then quells the momentum with a hot shot off the top rope. Hardy executes a running swinging neck breaker but the cover only gets 2. Cole says we have a kiss my ass match later which catches Tazz off guard. Hardy goes to work on Booker in the corner then uses heel tactics to gain the advantage. Cole mentions broadcasting in Wales and Tazz says "Yeah, save the whales!" Hardy whips Booker into the corner but runs into a flipover sunset flip for 1....2...nope. Booker goes back to right hands until Matt counters with the Side Effect. The cover gets 1....2..nope. Hardy locks in a rest hold as the crowd chants for Booker T. Book powers out of it but runs into an elbow smash. Matt drops the leg then executes a rude awakening but the cover gets a nearfall. Matt goes back to the chinlock as Tazz makes Cole laugh. Hardy turns the chinlock into a surfboard until Booker powers out of it. Booker sends Matt off but puts his head down allowing Hardy to kick him in the mush. Matt bounces off the ropes into a spinebuster. Both men get to their feet at the count of 9 then Booker rallies with right hands and chops. Booker floors Matt with a shuffle side kick and covers for 1....2..nope. Booker delivers a spinning heel kick and covers for 1...2...nope. Booker whips Matt in the corner but a charge eats boots. Hardy misses the second rope legdrop and Booker goes upstairs. A top rope dropkick is on the money but the cover only gets too. Booker delivers another heel kick then teases doing the spinaroonie. Hardy cuts him off and goes for the twist of fate but Booker T counters by executing the book end. The cover...1......2..nope. Hardy finally delivers the twist of fate then covers for 1...2..no. Hardy goes for another twist of fate but Booker counters with a boot to the breadbasket. Booker bounces off the ropes and delivers his axe back. He covers Matt for 1......2...3 and that's it. The red hot Booker T delights the crowd with a victory as Tazz is mad he didn't het to see the spinaroonie. Booker poses for the crowd then grabs a mic. He says he came to England to give the crowd to what they want to see and does the spinaroonie to Tazz's delight. Decent opener if you can dig that...sucka.
Time of Match: 12:01
Winners: Booker T by pinfall
We go backstage to Paul Heyman walking down a hallway and into Stephanie McMahon's office. He barges in and asks if it was her idea to put him in the main event. Paul tries to weasel his way out of the match but Stephanie will have none of it. He claims the match is unfair and Steph says life isn't fair. Paul says all he has to wear is his 2500 dollar suit and Steph says its 2500 down the drain. We go to Cole and Tazz who hype up the upcoming inter-gender match. We get shown a highlight package of Torrie discovering her "father" Al in the shower with Dawn Marie. Its funny how he was fully clothed and she's naked. At one point during the montage Dawn says she's been with very few men and a smattering of fans all scoff in unison.
Match 2
John Cena and Dawn Marie vs Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson
Six days earlier Torrie Wilson had beaten Dawn Marie in a match, now Dawn hooks up with recently turned heel John Cena to take on Torrie and her real life husband Billy Kidman. John enters to his generic rock theme and green prototype tights as Cole calls Dawn a predator when she enters. Kidman enters to his lousy WWE theme while wearing silver tights then Torrie enters last. Cole says if Dawn married Al then she would be Torrie's mother in law.....good thing that never happened right? Right? Uhhh...anyway the bell rings with both ladies being restrained by the men from killing each other. Cena then sneak attacks Kidman with forearms to the back. Kidman counters a sidewalk slam into a head scissors. Kidman goes for a victory roll but Cena drops him throat first onto the top rope. Cena puts the boots to Billy as Cole explains how Cena turned heel when he attacked Kidman after he and Billy lost their tag team title tournament match. Cena goes for a British Bulldog delayed suplex but Kidman counters with a roll up for 1...2..nope. Cena runs over Billy with a clothesline then Dawn tags herself in. A confused Cena says whatever as Dawn puts the boots to Kidman. Kidman catches the foot and blocks a bitchslap then grabs her by the hair. He tags in Torrie then takes Dawn over his knee. Torrie spanks Dawn as Tazz says "I know you've been in that position before Cole, what's it like?" Torrie puts the boots to Dawn then delivers a shockingly good armdrag. Torrie dropkicks Dawn then covers for 1..2...nope. Dawn flips over Torrie in the corner and delivers a roll up for a near fall. Dawn kicks Torrie in the midsection then delivers an x-factor. Dawn covers for 2 as Tazz makes fun of Heyman by saying they don't have 2500 dollar suits at Walmart. Torrie sommersaults under a clothesline and delivers a spinebuster. They roll around as referee Mike Sparks jumps over them twice only for Kidman to interfere and get rolled over. The 3 of them roll over until Kidman breaks free and celebrates as Cena looks on jealous. Dawn goes over to shout at Kidman while Cena interferes and slams Torrie. While at the time it was no shock for Cena as a heel to do something dastardly, try showing that clip now and see how well it goes over. Dawn puts the boots to Torrie then delivers a headbutt to the midsection. Cena tags in and knocks Kidman off the apron. Cena grabs Torrie by the hair and blocks a bitchslap then teases that he's going to give him head...and no I'm not kidding. Torrie counters with a low blow and tags in Kidman. Tazz "Right in the wood!" Kidman flies off the top with a back elbow smash. Kidman rallies with dropkicks and a cover gets a nearfall. Kidman gets kicked in the back by Dawn outside so he brings her in the hard way. Kidman runs into a sloppy looking spinebuster and Cena covers for 1...2..nope. Kidman rolls through a back suplex then delivers a flying bulldog. Kidman covers for 1..2..nope, Dawn drops an elbow on Cena by accident. Torrie interferes and tackles Dawn through the ropes and to the outside. Kidman delivers an enziguiri to Cena then drags him into the corner where he goes upstairs. Kidman delivers the 7 Year Itch though he misses badly. The cover gets 1...2.....3 and Kidman/Torrie win it. I'm stunned to say this but Torrie and Dawn outwrestled Cena and Kidman believe it or not. Their action was much more crisp and flowing while Cena and Kidman botched some of their stuff. Good thing this match was never shown again because Cena was HEEEL and outwrestled by Dawn F'n Marie. Torrie makes out with Kidman in the ring after the match as Tazz wants a kiss too. Kidman acts shocked she kissed him.
Time of match: 5:24
Winner: Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson by pinfall
Tazz and Cole make each other laugh as they continue to hype up the main event. Cole then interviews Edge backstage as Edge says he's going to win the title whether he has to pin Lesnar or "that greasy, slimy dirty scumbag Heyman". Edge saves face by saying he wants Taker back but he's more than happy to take his place to win the title. On to the next match
Match 3
Funaki vs Crash Holly
Crash Holly hadn't been on ppv since the last British ppv back in May, meanwhile Funaki hadn't wrestled on a ppv since being in the immunity battle royal almost a year earlier at Survivor Series. It was a shame because both of these guys can work a good match and I'll go to my grave saying Crash got loudest pop of the night at the 2000 King of the Ring. Funaki enters first and grabs the mic and says in broken English he is SMACKDOWN NUMBA WUN ANNOUNCAAAAA. The crowd starts a Funaki chant as he says he's number one top hat or something. Crash enters with gold tights as Cole says he's nuts. They start out with good chain wrestling as the crowd applauds the sequence. Funaki offers a hand shake and Crash slaps him in the face. Crash halts the match then motions to remove his tights as Tazz goes "Not in the UK Crash!" Crash then pulls a karate bandana from his tights and puts it on, which is kinda gross if he's been sweating already. Crash taunts Funaki until Funaki boots him in the chops. Funaki delivers a series of hiptosses and dropkicks until Crash begs off. Funaki helps Crash up only to boot him in the midsection and sunset flip him for 1...2 nope. Crash bails to the outside and pulls out Funaki then delivers a forearm to the chest. Tazz "I'm here to entertain the audience" Cole "We're 3 matches in, ya think you can start soon?" Crash delivers a knee to the back as Cole called Crash the best Hardcore Champion ever...which I have to agree with, his segments were must see tv back in the day. Crash rolls through a bodypress for 1....2..nope. Crash executes a sidewalk slam for 1...2...nope. Cole hypes up the next British event the following June (the last British ppv to date) as Crash locks in a rest hold. Funaki powers out of it then misses a dropkick. Crash walks into an inside cradle for 1....2...nope. Crash hard Irish whips Funaki in the corner but misses the charge. Funaki delivers a bulldog then executes another one. Funaki dropkicks and covers for 1...2...nope. Crash delivers an inverted atomic drop but runs into a clothesline. The cover gets a nearfall and Crash goes for a roll up but is victory rolled for 1...2...nope. Funaki misses an enziguiri so Crash goes for a majistrol cradle, only Funaki counters with a cradle for 1....2....3 and Funaki wins it. Mostly boring but not terrible either. Funaki would make sporadic appearances here and there while Crash fell completely off the map. If I'm not mistaken this was Crash's last ppv match until he was released in June 2003 so thanks for the memories.
Time of match: 5:37
Winner: Funaki by pinfall
We cut to sexy Nidia walking down the hall and is offended by a security guard's body odor. She runs into Noble and complains about everyone. Noble spanks Nidia and we cut to the back of Rey Mysterio Jr. Mysterio psyches himself up for the match and we continue.
Match 4
Rey Mysterio Jr vs Tajiri vs Jamie Noble (with Nidia) in a 3 Way Dance for the WWE Cruiserweight Champiobship
Noble had pissed the both of them off in recent months so this is Mysterio and Tajiri's revenge so to speak. As Noble makes his entrance, Tazz remarks that UK women are hot but there's only one Nidia and Michael Cole says "Thank God for that." Mysterio enters wearing the baggy red tights/mask to a huge ovation. Noble knocks Mysterio off the apron as the bell rings then turns around into a Tajiri kick. Noble and Tajiri go at it before Jamie heaves Tajiri through the ropes to the outside. Mysterio slides in and ducks a charge, sending Noble over the top rope and onto Tajiri outside. Mysterio then executes a perfect corkscrew plancha press onto both opponents to the crowd's delight. Mysterio rolls Noble in and covers for 1..2..nope, Tajiri breaks up the count for some reason. Its a 3 way dance so the match doesn't end with one fall so why is Tajiri saving Noble? Tajiri kicks away at Mysterio in the corner as Noble charges and eats boot. Noble staggers into a kick to the face from Tajiri. Mysterio and Tajiri exchange reversals until Mysteruo does his trademark bulldog (executed after he kicks Noble in the face). Mysterio covers for a nearfall before Noble executes a nothern lights suplex on Mysterio for 1...2...nope, Tajiri makes the save. Maybe he forgot its not a triple threat match? Tajiri chops Noble as Cole mentions how Tajiri played sidekick to Noble and Nidia for months. Tajiri does his springboard back elbow smash that catches both Mysterio and Noble. Tajiri sends Rey sternum first into the corner then kicks away at Noble until tying him in the tree of woe. Tajiri sets up for the baseball slide and hits it, causing Noble to crumple to the mat. Tazz "He looked like Lou Brock sliding into second." Cole "Who?......Cole you suck. Mysterio charges in the corner but walks right into the Tajiri Tarantula. Noble dopkicks Rey for good measure. Tajiri goes for the buzzsaw kick on Noble but savate kicks Mysterio off the apron. Tajiri turns around into the tiger-bomb for Noble who bridges for 1...2....3 and Tajiri is gone. Down to 1 on 1 Noble poses in the ring as Mysterio struggles to make it back inside. Noble goes for the tiger bomb but Mysterio counters with a hurricarana bridge for 1,...2...nope. Mysterio ducks under a clothesline and delivers a spinning wheel kick. A relatively weak forearm by Mysterio knocks Noble backwards off his feet. Mysterio executes a hurricarana that sends Noble face first into the second turnbuckle. Mysterio goes up top but Noble counters a West Coast Pop with a powerbomb, Noble covers for 1..2...nope. Tazz "Nidia must have thought the security guard smelled like cocky." Noble throws Rey shoulder first into the ringpost. Jamie distracts the referee allowing Nidia to strain the arm against the ringpost. Noble attacks the injured arm and shouts "WHAT'S MY NAME????" Noble locks in a hammerlock and Mysterio tries to flip out of it only to have Jamie hang on. Tazz calls Noble a pitbull as Jamie continues to work over the arm and shoulder. Noble puts the boots to Mysterio and continues to work over the arm concluding with a fujiwara armbar. The crowd chants 619 as Mysterio powers out of the lock, slides under Noble but runs into a clothesline. Noble covers but gets a near fall. Noble puts the boots to Rey again stopping only to kiss Nidia. A small "she's a crack whore" chant breaks out as Noble executes another northern lights suplex but the cover gets a 2. Noble goes back to the armbar for a while before Mysterio powers out of it. Noble dropkicks the shoulder as Mysterio gets some stiff elbows in. Rey counters an electric chair with a spinning ddt as both men struggle to reach their feet. Mysterio counters with right hands and finishes with a flap jack. Mysterio does a springboard leg drop and covers for 1...2..nooooo. Rey charges in the corner but gets backdropped onto the apron. Rey goes up to the top and finally hits the West Coast Pop with the cover for 1...2....nope. The crowd chants for 619 but Noble counters with a vertical bomb (Tazz's words not mine). The cover gets a deuce as Rey literallyt jumps up to kick out. Mysterio ducks under a clothesline and executes a tilt-a whirl sunset flip (yes you read that right) but Nidia hops up on the apron. Rey chases Nidia off the apron but Noble nails him from behind. Rey slides out of a back suplex and drop toe holds Jamie onto the second rope. The crowd calls for the 619 but Nidia trips up Mysterio before he can do it. Rey staggers around into a tiger bomb from Noble for 1..2....NOOOOOO. Crowd cheers as Tazz asks if anyone's ever kicked out of that movie before. Mysterio goes for a victory roll but Noble cradles then holds on to Nidia for 1....2...3 and that's it. Noble retains as Cole cries foul. Nidia slaps Mysterio after the bell then attempts to put the Cruiserweight belt on Noble only for the couple to be dropkicked onto the second rope. Mysterio does the 619 to both of them as the crowd erupts. Mysterio leaves the heels sprawled out as he walks out without the win. Five straight ppv wins (KOTR, Vengeance, Global Warning, No Mercy, this) for Noble.
Time of match: 12:47
Winner: Jamie Noble by pinfall (still Cruiserweight champion)
We cut to Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle sitting and staring at each other. Kurt claims captaincy of the team and runs down Benoit saying he's the US and Chris is the UK. Benoit "Woah woah woah, I'm Canadian!" Kurt "Its all part of the commonwealth. The point is you're good but you're not the best." Kurt says he's the best as Chris scoffs. Chris taunts Kurt by saying he won at Unforgiven and then again on Smackdown so HE'S the captain. Kurt cries foul and says Chris fits right in with England because of his bad teeth. Benoit fakes a belly laugh and then says Kurt is lucky the suspension stipulation is in effect otherwise he'd kick his ass. They go nose to nose before Chris and Kurt taunt each other as we cut to the ring. Kurt "Its flying freaking damn true!"
Match 5
Reverand D-Von and Ron Simmons vs Val Venis and Chuck Palumbo
Talk about the bottom of the barrel. None of these guys had been over in God knows how long but luckily all four of them would be used differently (and better) in the upcoming year. Oh, I forgot to mention Ron Simmons is actually Faarooq for those who don't know, they FINALLY let Ron use his real name (although Don't Step to Ron is not his entrance theme unfortunately). Val enters wearing Smackdown blue tights as Palumbo wears Hogan-esque yellow tights. Val is introduced as The Big Valbowski instead of Val Venis, apparently this was a trend. Simmons and D'Von attack Valbowski and Palumbo right at the get go. D'Von delivers a running clothesline in the corner to Palumbo then whips him into a powerslam by Simmons. Simmons covers but referee Mike Sparks is out of position so Simmons gets a deuce. Simmons locks in an abdominal stretch until Palumbo counters with a btb suplex. Venis makes the tag and so does D-Von. Val rallies with clotheslines and a backdrop. Venis executes a one arm slam and covers but Simmons makes the save. A left-armed clothesline drops Simmons then executes a double underhook suplex to D-Von. Simmons recovers to deliver a spinebuster then the duo puts the boots to Venis. D-Von takes command with a back elbow smash. Simmons tags in as Cole shills what's yet to come. Simmons locks in a rest hold and jumps on Val when he tries to power out of it. He jumps again and lands nut first into Val's boot. Palumbo makes the cover and rallies with clotheslines and a btb on D-Von. Chuck does the Razor Ramon fallaway punch then teams up with Venis to backdrop D-Von. Simmons floors Venis then walks into boxing jabs from Palumbo. Chuck goes for another Razor punch but Simmons boots him in the bread basket. Palumbo ducks under a Simmons clotheslines and fires away at D-Von with right hands. Chuck delivers an over the head suplex on Simmons followed by a shuffle side kick on D-Von. Chuck covers but Simmons breaks it up. Venis wakes up and tosses Simmons out of the ring. Venis follows him but runs right into the steel steps. Palumbo sticks his head through the ropes to investigate and Simmons greets him with a forearm. D-Von schoolboys Chuck and his tights down exposing his white ass. A shocked Palumbo cannot kick out 1..2.....3 and D-Von's team wins it. Venis looks pissed in the ring as the replay shows the end. D'Von dances in the walkway....not great but not terrible either. Short and sweet which is as far as two makeshift teams.
Time of Match: 4:09
Winner: D-Von and Simmons by pinfall
Tazz asks Cole if he wears tighty whites....haha wait nine years. Cut to Los Guerreros for an interview. Eddie says they're in Germany and Chavo says they're in Ireland. Then they say that it doesn't matter where they are that Mexico's better. Chavo says "Yeah, I remember the Alamo...WE WON!" The British had nothing to do with the Alamo so that reference doesn't work. Chavo calls Michael Cole a loser (ha!) and then say they're going to beat Angle and Benoit. Eddie "The food here sucks, the tea and the crumpets suck! Even the English muffins suck here!" Chavo "They talk funny here!" The last part was funny, onto the next match.
Match 6
Rikishi vs Albert in a Kiss My Arse match
Sheesh, when was the last time we've seen Albert on pay per view? Least he's using a better song than his T & A theme. Tony Chimel "The following is a kiss my arse match." For some reason him saying that is funny. Albert grabs the mic and calls himself wicked sexy. "And ladies in case you were wondering, and I know you are. All this hair is 100 percent au natural!" I thought this was Albert and not Val Venis. "Rikishi, after the match you will kiss my hairy ass!" Cole "That is a sight I don't think I wanna see." Cole brings up Big Show jumping to Smackdown and attacking Rikishi. They circle to start as Rikishi starts out with a headlock. Cole brings up how Big Show chokeslammed Undertaker through a table, putting him out of action (the real reason he was gone till the Rumble was he needed time off to be there for the birth of his new baby). A force meeting object routine goes nowhere and then the same result happens. Rikishi ducks under a clothesline and lands one of his own. Albert ducks under a clothesline and Rikishi bends over, freaking out Albert and causing him to bail to the outside (HA!). Cole brings out Albert's new mean streak which would cause a much needed name change in the future. Albert tells the fans to shut their mouths before baiting Rikishi into a test of strength. Rikishi then does something I've never seen him do, sell a headbutt. Albert delivers one and Rikishi crumples to the mat like he's been shot. Tazz "Do you think Albert's ass is as hairy as his back?" Cole "I dunno, he said it was." Albert pounds away in the corner then stomps a mudhole. As referee Jimmy Korderas checks on Rikishi, Albert takes the turnbuckle pad off. Rikishi rallies with right hands but is whipped into the exposed steel. Albert follows with a running avalanche in the corner as the crowd boos. A cover by Albert gets a deuce then he applies a rest hold. He uses the ropes for leverage as Tazz continues to talk about Albert's hairy ass. Tazz says Korderas is as bald as an eagle even though he's from Canada. Rikishi does the fade then revive routine then powers out of it. They work a double clothesline spot before Rikishi gets to his feet and rallies with right hands. A samoan drop is no-sold but a ddt is. The cover gets a long two but Rikishi runs into a bicycle kick then covers for 1...2...nope. Albert charges but eats exposed steel and turns around into a superkick. Rikishi drags Albert in the corner, goes upstairs and hits the banzai drop for 1....2...3 and Rikishi wins it. Albert rolls out of the ring as Cole "Heyyy where are you goin?" Albert walks to the back as Rikishi grabs the mic. "Hey Albert, in case you forgot this was a kiss my ass match. That means you gotta come in here in front of Manchester and get a piece of the Kish!" Jimmy Korderas grabs the mic and says "Albert, you have 10 seconds to get in here and kiss Rikishi's ass or you'll be suspended indefinitely without pay." Korderas leads the count up to 9 before Albert gets in the ring. Albert gets on one knee and delivers a low blow before deliving a baldo bomb. Rikishi sits in the corner and Albert teases a stinkface but Rikishi counters with a low blow. Albert staggers into the corner and then gets a running back avalanche before crumpling in the corner. Rikishi delivers the obligatory stinkface as Michael Cole says this is what Smackdown is all about. Yes, Smackdown isn't about the technical wrestling of Brock Lesnar, Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit or the high flying Kidman and Mysterio, its about 400 pound men shoving their asses in other guys faces. Rikishi then calls Michael Cole and Tazz in the ring to bust a move with him. Cole and Tazz reluctantly get in the ring as the crowd chants for Tazz. Tazz gets on the mic and says he can't do it, then gets booed, so he says "ok maybe I can do it" Tazz then says Tony Chimel better get in and Chimel himself does. The four of them put on cowboy hats and start dancing. Tazz and Cole can't dance to save their lives but Chimel isn't half bad. Goofy ending but its all about entertainment and that was halfway amusing.
Time of match: 7:17
Winners: Rikishi by pinfall
Cut to previously recorded vignettes of how the WWE Tag Team Championship came about with Kurt and Benoit reluctantly teaming and winning the titles. Chavo sets up Benoit to be taken out by Eddie and Kurt says he had nothing to do with it. Then to the semi-final match where Benoit teases turning on Angle and then blasting Chavo and Eddie with a chair leading to Angle and Benoit winning the match and eventually the tag team titles (at No Mercy in the match of the year).
Match 7
Los Guerreros (Eddie and Chavo Jr) vs Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit for the WWE Tag Team Championships
Chavo Guerrero Jr makes his first ring ppv since entering himself into the Immunity Battle Royal a year earlier. They enter to Latino Heat as Eddie wears the red tights and Chavo black. Benoit enters wearing the blue tights as he stars down Angle upon entering the ring. Tazz says the tag team division is rapidly developing which is very true. Los Guerrero's pose with the tag belts as Kurt and Chris argue as to who starts the match. Eddie shoves Kurt so Angle shoves Chris and we finally start with Eddie/Angle. They circle to start then Eddie inexplicably tags Chavo. The crowd cheers the heel Angle and he starts off with a side headlock. Angle runs over Chavo with a shoulderblock and follows with a hiptoss. A backdrop sends Chavo flying and Angle cuts off a charging Eddie with an elbow smash. The Guerrero's regroup outside as Angle taunts Benoit. Chris tags himself in and Angle is irate. The crowd chants "We want Angle!" and this isn't piped in chants either. Eddie gets in and chain wrestles with Benoit as Tazz half breaks kayfabe by saying Eddie and Chris are still friends. Eddie floors Chris with a shoulderblock but runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Chavo charges but runs into a chop causing Chavo to bail. Chris whips him in the corner and makes the tag to a reluctant Angle. Angle unloads on Eddie as Michael Cole brings up an incident on Smackdown where Chris and Kurt beat the crap out of each other over a trophy. Kurt runs into a back elbow smash by Eddie and Chavo tags in. Chavo tells Eddie to do something and Angle standing switches into a german suplex. Kurt taunts Benoit again only to be nailed from behind by Eddie. Benoit enters and delivers a german suplex to Eddie in retaliation. Kurt and Chris go nose to nose and shove each other then turn their attentions to the Guerreros. Chris german suplex's Eddie and Kurt lands one on Chavo. Kurt literally kicks Chavo out of the ring as Benoit makes his exit leaving Kurt and Eddie alone. Kurt kicks Eddie out then brings Chavo back in the hard way. Angle floors Chavo with a back elbow smash then suplexes him. A cover gets 2 as Chris throws Eddie into the ringpost outside the ring. Kurt makes the tag to Benoit and Chris turns Chavo inside out with a running knee. Chavo rallies with right hands and tags in Eddie. Eddie stomps away at Benoit in the corner then when the ref pulls Eddie off, Chavo chokes Chris. Cole brings up the match of the year at No Mercy as Eddie throws Chris into the exposed turnbuckle. Wouldn't the ref have put it back on after the last match? Lazy referees aside, Eddie suplexes Benoit as the crowd cheers Angle again. Chavo tags in and the Guerreros isolate Benoit in the corner. Benoit and Chavo exchange chops but a charge by Benoit eats elbow. Chavo charges but runs into a crossface attempt. Chavo squirms to safety then throws Chris through the ropes to the outside. Chavo distracts referee Brian Hebner as Eddie suplexes Benoit on the floor. The Guerreros both roll Chris inside where Eddie tags in with a springboard flip onto Benoit. Eddie covers for a two count then locks in his father's famous move, the Gory Special. Just as Tazz says there's no escape from the hold, Benoit counters into a sunset flip for 1..2...and no. Eddie floors Chris with a clothesline then tags in Chavo. Chavo dances around then puts the boots to Chris, landing some european uppercuts for good measure. Benoit then counters another uppercut attempt with a backslide for 1...2..nope, Eddie interferes and kicks Chris off. Chavo delivers a back suplex then runs over to knock Angle off the apron. Eddie tags in but runs into a flapjack followed by a powerbomb. Chris turns around into a hotshot by Chavo. Chris crawls over toward Angle as Chavo makes the tag. Chavo runs into a crossface and this time, Chris has it synched in. Eddie makes the save but Angle gets in and rallies with right hands. Hebner shoos Angle out of the ring as Eddie climbs up to and goes for a frog splash. The alert Benoit rolls out of the way and Eddie lands on Chavo instead. Hebner shoos Eddie out of the ring as Benoit makes the hot tag to Kurt. Angle cleans house with backdrop to Eddie and a german suplex to Chavo. Angle hits an overhead btb on Eddie and covers for 1..2..no, Chavo saves. Chavo ducks under a clothesline and lands a dropkick on Kurt. Benoit gets in and whips Chavo into the corner then executes a german suplex of his own. Eddie goes for a german on Chris but Benoit switches and executes a german on Eddie. Chris goes upstairs and delivers a flying headbutt on Eddie. The legal man, Angle, covers for 1....2..nope, Chavo makes the save. Chavo snap suplexes Kurt then clotheslines himself and Benoit out of the ring. Eddie covers Kurt for a near fall then goes up to the top. Eddie calls for the frog splash but Kurt runs up the ropes....only to be shoves off by Eddie. Guerrero lands the frog splash then covers for 1...2...nooo, Benoit slides in and saves Kurt. Chris locks in the crossface on Eddie despite not being the legal man then Chavo makes the save. Chris switches out of a back suplex then sends Chavo out of the ring. Kurt goes for the Angle Slam but Eddie slides out of it and shoves Kurt into Benoit to bowls Hebner through the ropes to the outside. Chris shoves Kurt so Angle shoves him down. Eddie dropkicks Kurt in the back of the leg then locks in the Tequila Sunrise (or Lasso From El Passo depending on the day). Kurt somehow escapes and locks in the ankle lock. Eddie taps but the ref is on the floor with Chavo and Chris. Chavo grabs a tag belt and is supposed to hit him with it but if you look closely all he does is push Kurt to the ground with it. Chavo rolls the ref back in and Eddie covers for 1...2..NOOOOO. Chavo tells Eddie to hold Kurt as he goes to the top only to be shoved off by Benoit. Eddie runs into a hotshot by Chris then staggers into an Angle Slam. Kurt covers for 1...2...3 and this one's over. The disfunctional technical wrestlers are still the champs. Kurt celebrates in the ring by himself then Chris shoves him. They drop their respective belts and go nose to nose. They taunt each other as the Guerreros sneak in the ring to try to steal the belts. Angle and Benoit cut them off and focus their anger on the Guerreros. They chase them out of the ring as Kurt's music plays. Decent match although the formula was right out of the 80's, least there were good highspots here and there.
Time of match: 16:36
Winner: Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit by pinfall (still Tag Champions)
We go to Paul Heyman doing the worst pushups I think I've ever seen as Brock Lesnar looks on disgusted. Tazz "Not exactly textbook." Brock "If Edge somehow beats you, I will bust you in half." Brock grabs the belt and walks off as Paul looks scared.
Match 8
Edge vs Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman for the WWE Championship in a Handicap Match
This was originally supposed to be The Undertaker taking on Brock but Taker's injuries were too severe in the storyline, truth was he was out until Royal Rumble taking care of his newborn, so Edge was his replacement. Edge enters first with the Smackdown blue tights and his original "You Think You Know Me" theme song. Heyman enters wearing his normal suit, hat and tie. Michael Cole shills the No Mercy match as the "most brutal, bloodiest and best match in WWE history." At this point in time, that statement maybe true. Edge grabs the belt during referee instructions and Lesnar promptly snatches it away. Jerk! Edge and Brock circle to start and Heyman jumps off the apron when Edge fakes coming after him. Paul puts his Yankees hat on backwards as Lesnar tells him to stay outside and do nothing. They tie up and Brock throws Edge halfway across the ring. Edge ducks under a series of charges and mocks Brock's warmup dance. Brock has enough and drives Edge 15 feet backwards into the corner before hitting a series of shoulders to the mid-section. Brock stomps a mudhole in Edge before whipping him into the corner. A first charge eats elbow and the second is turned into a drop toe hold into the corner. Brock staggers into a dropkick which sends him through the ropes and to the outside. Paul tries to calm down Brock as Tazz calls Heyman a goof and a slimy scumbag. Paul and Brock walk around the ring before Lesnar gets back in to do his warmup dance. Edge ducks under a clothesline then jumps into a sunset flip for 1....2..nope. Brock goes for a press slam but Edge turns that into a sunset flip for a deuce. Lesnar goes on offense before Edge mocks him again. An angry Lesnar charges put Edge pulls the top rope down and Brock goes flying out. Brock kicks over the steel steps as once again Heyman tries to calm him down. Edge can wait no more so he goes outside to attack. Edge lands a series of right hands until Lesnar gets the upperhand by ramming Edge's head into the side of the ring. Edge then reverse whips Brock into the ringpost. Heyman sneaks over and grabs Edge's leg from outside when Brock attacks. Heyman hops around like a fool as Lesnar misses a charge in the corner. Edge delivers a flying spinning wheel kick to Brock then spears Heyman off the apron to Tazz's delight. Edge turns around into an overhead btb suplex. Lesnar drags Edge outside and puts the boots to him. Lesnar drives Edge into the ringpost and rolls him in. The cover gets a deuce as Lesnar continues to puts the boots to him. Cole and Tazz shill Brock's recent accomplishments as he delivers a backbreaker. Edge eventually staggers to his feet and rallies with right hands but runs into a shoulderblock. A cover gets 2 as Lesnar pounds away with forearms then slowly stalks the challenger. Tazz makes a great point in saying TV doesn't do Lesnar justice and he's even more of a monster in person. Brock then does a wishbone boston crab (yes you heard that right) before Edge crawls to the ropes. Brock taunts Edge then locks in the first resthold 10 minutes into it. Edge does the fade then revive routine before powering out of the hold. Edge ducks under a clothesline then goes for a bodypress but Brock catches him in midair. He goes for the F-5 but Edge rolls out of into a pinning combination for 1....2...nope. Brock almost takes Edge's head off with a clothesline but the cover gets a 2. Brock goes for a collegiate style ride then turns it into a german suplex for 1...2.nope. Back to the ride to wear down Edge as he does the fade then revive routine again. Brock drives Edge into the buckle as the bald Heyman looks on. Brock misses a clothesline in the corner and Edge dropkicks him in the back. Edge baseball slides Heyman into the announce table but turns around into a spinebuster. The cover...the count....NOOOO! Tazz enjoys the replay of Heyman going down as Brock continues to taunt Edge. Brock shoulderblocks the challenger in the corner then delivers a running one in the opposite corner. Brock chokes Edge on the bottom rope with a boot but another whip/charge eats ringpost. Edge rolls up for 1...2..nope. Edge goes for a running clothesline and Brock no sells. Edge lands another one but again Brock goes nowhere. Edge ducks under a clothesline and delivers a flying forearm (nowhere near as cool as Santana's). Edge goes for another spinning wheel kick but Brock catches him then goes for another F-5. Edge rolls out and plants Brock face first into the mat. Brock goes for a clothesline but Edge ducks under it and lands Edge-O-Matic and hooks the legs for 1....2...negative. Edge clotheslines Brock over the top and out and grabs Heyman on the apron. Edge brings Paul in the hard way then goes upstairs. Edge hits a flying axehandle smash on Heyman and covers for 1....2....NOOOO, Lesnar pulled him off at the last second. Edge kicks Brock out of the ring then goes back to the stop only to drop onto Lesnar on the floor. Heyman rolls out of the ring as Edge rolls Brock inside before going back to the top. Edge delivers a flying dropkick but the cover gets a deuce. Edge goes upstairs for the 3rd time but Brock ducks and Edge takes out referee Mike Chioda instead. Edge turns around into an F-5 but at the last second reverses it into Edgecution. Edge covers but Chioda is out and there's no count. Paul throws Lesnar a chair and says he's got this. Paul sneaks to the other side of the ring and says "HEY YOU SONOVABITCH!" as Edge swipes at him. Brock swings and misses as Edge ducks under and spears the champion. Chioda revives and Edge covers for 1,.....2...YE..NOOOOOOO! Edge can't believe it as he goes back to the top rope. Edge jumps off into a chair shot to the ribs. Brock finally lands the F-5 and covers for 1.,..2....3 and that's it. The crowd deflates as Lesnar retains the title. The refs tend to Edge as Brock celebrates at the entrance way. Heyman then stalks Edge with a chair as he chases the refs away with it. Paul "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO MY RIBS? YOU SPEARED ME! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE?" Edge then kicks the chair in Heyman's face then delivers the Edgecution to send the crowd home happy with Edge's moral victory. The match itself was good, its just too bad that it was on this event and not an American ppv that would have drawn money.
Time of match: 18:50
Winner: Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman by pinfall (Brock retains the WWE Championship)
This was just six days after NO MERCY and plus it was a British ppv so not much can be expected or noteworthy. The event drew 13,416 people down from the 15,612 from the previous year. As I mentioned before this would be the last Rebellion for some reason and other than the upcoming Insurrextion in June there hasn't been another British ppv in 9 years since. The next American ppv is 2002 SURVIVOR SERIES but as for this: 2 1/2 stars out of 5. There's absolutely nothing noteworthy that happened but the matches were decent. I wouldn't recommend it unless you're trying to complete a collection or a British fan.
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