WWE No Mercy
Alltell Arena
Little Rock, AR
October 20, 2002
Its a shame things turned into the way they did. After the awesomeness that was Summerslam came the good but not great Unforgiven. As I said on the last review, the in-ring action of Unforgiven was awesome but the storylines were borderline dreadful....well this month the storylines not only crossed the border but almost went to the point of no return. After playing hot potato with the Intercontinental Championship on Raw all year, some brainiac decided it was a good idea to retire the belt. Now they had already retired the European title in July when Rob Van Dam beat Jeff Hardy in a unification match. Then they retired the Hardcore title in August after Rob Van Dam beat Tommy Dreamer in another unification match. Both those titles had run its course, but dropping the IC title was stupid because mid-carders had nothing to wrestle for on Raw. Smackdown was all set to debut the brand new WWE Tag Team Championships (which I'll explain later) so why retire a belt in its place, especially with that kind of lineage. We open up the event with The Undertaker sitting at his locker looking sad, then Kane sits next to him and says "So, how was your week?" This would be a reference to one of the most horrible storylines in WWF/E history and another bad one. In order to add a little pizazz to the Kane vs Triple H showdown, they had Hunter go out on Raw and say Kane was a murderer (I thought it was The Undertaker who was the murderer) and Kane responded by saying it was an accident. This led to the horrific Katie Vick necrophilia angle covered on Wrestlecrap.com (cheap plug) where Hunter and Kane did increasingly tasteless vignettes to get under each other's skin. Now over on Smackdown, The Undertaker was involved in a feud with the current WWE Champion Brock Lesnar, so to add pizazz to that one they decided to bring in a woman named Tracy and claim Taker was cheating on his wife Sara with her. Combine these two trainwrecks with the upcoming Al Wilson storyline, is it any wonder why the ratings tanked so bad during the next few months? Let's get on with the show.
Match 1
Goldust and Booker T vs Chris Jericho and Christian for the World Tag Team Championship
Commentators: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler
As I said before, to enhance the "brands" they decided to keep the "World Tag Team Championship" on Raw and debut the "WWE Tag Team Championship" on Smackdown. The boys at Pro Wrestling Illustrated (cheap plug) are gonna have a massive headache trying to figure out the lineage for their yearly year-end almanac. Long story short Kane and The Hurricane lost the straps literally a week earlier to Jericho and Christian, who have been messing with Goldust and Christian for weeks. Goldust starts with Y2J...better make it Booker T and Christian. Booker starts out on offense and clotheslines Christian to the ground. He goes for Jericho but Christian cuts him off but heel kicks him for 1...2..nope. Goldust tag in and mule kicks Christian for a 2 count before Y2J tags back in. Goldust cuts him off and does the Runnells Punch then Thumps him. Goldust knocks Christian off the apron then slingshots Jericho over the top onto Christian. Booker throws Jericho into the ring where Goldust punches him in the corner until Christian hotshots the bizzare one off the top rope. Jericho delivers a missle dropkick and covers for a near fall. Jericho calls himself the king of the world then jumps on Goldust before tauting Hogan style. The heels make frequent tags and Christian prevents Goldust to make the tag as they continue to isolate him. Goldust hits a standing powerslam on Christian as Booker T checks out his hand. "Bet he wants to do a spinaroonie too" says Lawler. Y2J tags in so Goldust makes the hot tag to Booker who unloads offense on both the canadians. Booker misses with the scissors kick but delivers a spine buster to Jericho for 1...2...nope. Booker turns a charge into a sunset flip for a nearfall but misses the axe kick and crotches himself on the top rope. Christian runs in and Goldust blind tags in then sets Christian up for shattered dreams. The ref is busy trying to get Jericho out of the ring so Goldust runs and kicks Christian in the junk.....its up and its good! Jericho charges and Booker drop toe holds him head first into the package causing poor Christian even less chance to have children. Goldust rolls up Y2J for a near fall then goes for the Curtain Call but Jericho rolls out of it. Jericho applies the Walls of Jericho until Booker hits the scissors kick to break up the submission then Goldust rolls over on top for 1...2..nope, Christian pulls Goldust to the outside to break up the count. Booker baseball slides Christian into the barricade then goes upstairs where he delivers a missle dropkick to Y2J. Booker does the spinaroonie as Christian grabs the tag belt then charges only to be heaved over the top rope by Booker. Jericho goes for his springboard missle dropkick but THE SECOND ROPE BREAKS and Jericho falls flat on his face. Good thing he didn't hurt himself as he quickly gets up and backdrops Booker T over the top to the floor. Goldust runs in and bulldogs Y2J and covers but Christian puts the foot on the rope to break the count. Booker and Christian brawl into the crowd as Jericho bulldogs Goldust face first on the tag belt. He instinctively goes for the lionsault but remembers theres no second rope so he just goes upstairs and delivers a moonsault. Jericho covers for 1...2.....3 and the Canadians retain. Good match with absolutely no rest-holds but the rope breaking was a bad omen for the night ahead.
Time of Match: 8:46
Winners: Chris Jericho and Christian by pinfall (still World Tag Team champions)
We go backstage to Funaki, SMACKDOWN NUMBA WUN ANNOUNCA, who interviews Al Wilson, Torrie's father. To give Dawn Marie and Torrie something to do, they brought Torrie's actual father and have him start dating Dawn Marie. Unfortunately, this would only be the beginning of a horrific storyline which will play out on Smackdown in the upcoming months. Torrie just caught Dawn days earlier in the shower with him. Yeah, if you ever wonder why everyone's happy that Vince is gone, he made Torrie Wilson's own father a pawn in a storyline.
Match 2
Dawn Marie vs Torrie Wilson
Commentators: Michael Cole and Tazz
As if the whole soap opera wasn't bad enough, now we have to see these two in the ring? Dawn hops up on the apron and Torrie dropkicks her off to start the match. Torrie works her over outside before throwing her in as the bell rings meanwhile Cole and Tazz tell us Al Wilson's recent actions. Torrie ducks under a clothesline and delivers a series of her own before whipping Dawn into the corner. A charge eats boot so Dawn starts kicking away at Torrie as Michael Cole asks why Al would date the one girl who Torrie doesn't like. Tazz "Cause Dawn's hot...duh!" Torrie hits a sunset flip for a 1 count before Dawn flips over the corner and shoulderblocks a charging Torrie in the mid-section. Dawn snaps her off the top rope but Torrie baseball slides Dawn to the ground. On the outside Dawn rams her back first into the side of the ring before putting the boots to her inside the ring. Michael Cole hypes up the Rebellion pay per view up in England the week after this event. Dawn whips Torrie into the corner then stomps away at her again, booooooring, do something else please. Dawn applies a rest hold as Cole says Torrie's beaten her in a bikini contest and a lingerie bowl but Dawn beat her in a mixed tag match thanks to Matt Hardy. Dawn scoop slams Torrie and hits an in-between the legs headbutt, which Tazz scoffs saying that shouldn't hurt. Cole "You have no idea if that would hurt or not, least I hope not" Dawn starts screaming at Torrie in her New York accent before Torrie takes her down and they start cat fighting. They roll over referee Mike Sparks and he appears to enjoy it......didn't Torrie do the same sequence with Stacey Keibler 2 months ago at Global Warning? Actually this time Sparks grabs a hold of Dawn and all 3 roll together before he prys her off Torrie, hops up and cheers himself as the crowd and Tazz laugh it up. Tazz "What a sick man he is!" Dawn looks mortified and shoves him before kicking Torrie in the mid-section. Dawn whips her in the corner but the charge eats boot but she runs right into a clothesline. Dawn whips Torrie off but puts her head down so Torrie counters with a boot and a snap suplex. The cover only gets 2 then Torrie hits another baseball slide but again the cover only gets 2. Torrie throws Dawn by the hair then slingshots her in the corner then school girls her for 1....2..nope. Dawn charges but Torrie hits the sorriest looking hot shot I've seen in a while but hits a nice running neckbreaker for 1.....2....3 and this ones over. Torrie says that was for her dad but unfortunately the storyline was far from over. The match wasn't too bad thanks to the referee hijinks but the REAL women's match would be later on in the night.
Time of match: 4:40
Winner: Torrie Wilson by pinfall
We cut to Jonathan Coachman interviewing Rob Van Dam on his upcoming match with Ric Flair. Ric cost RVD the World title at Unforgiven so this is the big grudge match so to speak. The heel turn by Ric was awesome for HHH claimed in Ric's prime he was a viscous heel which made him one of the best wrestlers of all time, so by turning heel he regained his fire so to speak. Rob says he's not kiss stealing, jet flying, etc but he's more "Chair smashing" *struts* "Frog splashing" *struts* "Risk Taking" *struts* "Yinning and Yanging" *struts* "Van Daminating dude named Rob....Van...Dam" You have to see it to appreciate it. Rob walks off as Coach notices Brock Lesnar, Paul Heyman and Tracy walk by. Lesnar and Paul ignore him as Tracy runs down Taker saying he's a scumbag. Like I said earlier, this was the continuation of the feud which would end inside Hell in a Cell later tonight.
Match 3
Rob Van Dam vs "Nature Boy" Ric Flair
Commentators: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler
The 16 time champion turned on Rob Van Dam last month then cost him another shot the previous Raw. They brawl on the outside to start the match as Rob executes a dropkick from the second rope then does the leg drop on the guardrail he used so famously on Jerry Lynn. Finally back inside the bell rings and its officially underway. Rob goes upstairs and delivers a missledropkick then cartwheel moonsaults onto Flair for 1....2..nope, kicked out. Flair begs off so Van Dam dropkicks him in the corner before Flair gets a thumb to the eye. Flair chops RVD in the corner but Rob whips into the corner where he Flair Flips back down. Flair runs into a spinning heel kick then pounds away with right hands as Lawler says "Flair's 53? Dawn Marie will be hitting on him next!" Hell I'd rather have seen THAT than Al Wilson because at least Kidman could wrestle Flair and keep the women outside....anyway back to the match. Flair charges into an elbow and an RVD springboard dropkick for a near fall before Flair begs off again. Flair low blows Rob then attacks the left leg, great ring tactics by Flair. Van Dam can't go arial on one leg so Flair goes old school on the left leg. Flair chops him in the corner before stomping a mudhole in him, vintage Flair right here. Flair chokes RVD in the bottom corner and uses the 5 count effectively then woo's the irate crowd. Flair chops and punches Van Dam in the middle of the ring then continues to work over the left leg. Van Dam rallies with chops and right hands before Flair rakes the eyes then kicks the leg out once again. Great ring psychology even if it does go unappreciated by the fickle fans of today, the arial artist can't fly if the savy veteran takes the legs out. Flair chopblocks RVD and stomps another mudhole in him as Lawler says how hot Tracy is. JR retorts by saying Undertaker's a married a man. King "So what, Tracy's hot!" JR "To some people, wedding vows mean something!" Oh snap....King won't like that one. Flair chops Rob in the corner then continues to use the right hands to knock Van Dam off his game. King "Do you think pregnant women are attractive?" Jr "What in the hell does that have to do with this???" Flair executes a backdrop then calls for the figure four before applying it.....uh oh. Rob cries and screams in pain then writhers about, trying to reverse the momentum which he eventually does. Flair breaks then stomps Van Dam outside the ring, so rob shoulderblocks and sunset flips back in for a near fall. Rob backslides for a 2 count then misses a dropkick as the cagey veteran holds on to the ropes to block the kick. Flair struts then goes for another figure four, but Rob counters with a cradle for 1...2...nope. Rob charges but eats elbow then Flair goes upstairs, only to be thrown off. Rob hits rolling thunder for a 2 count, heel kicks him then goes upstairs. He calls for the 5....STAR...FROGSPLASH and hits it, then takes forever to cover Flair for 1......2..3...and Van Dam wins it. Great ring psychology in this one although it got a little repetitive in the middle. Van Dam gets a little bit of revenge for the world title lost last month.
Time of match: 7:58
Winner: Rob Van Dam by pinfall
We cut to Big Show of all people and Stephanie McMahon discussing the possibility of Show jumping to Smackdown. Eric Bischoff appears asking just what the hell is going on so Steph takes off. Big Show then cuts a promo saying how he hasn't been on a ppv since Vengeance (true) and hasn't main evented a ppv in god knows how long. (He was in the main event of the previous Survivor Series but that involved 9 other men, meaning his last real main event had to be Wrestlemania 16 in 2000, also involving other guys) and he's sick of being just a big doofus with his thumb up his ass. Eric scoffs and tries to run him down but Big Show slams him up against a row of trays and says Eric better push him in main events or he's gonna snap his neck. JR and King then hype up the upcoming Winner Take All match between Kane and Triple H before showing a highlight package of the history of the IC title, why end something so prestigious is beyond me. It does show my favorite moment of Steve Austin throwing the belt in the river and The Rock's response to it. On to the next match....
Match 4
Tajiri vs Jamie Noble (with Nidia) for the WWE Cruiserweight Champiobship
Commentators: Michael Cole and Tazz
Noble and Nidia had a fight on Smackdown and picked their buddy Tajiri to be the referee for the match, after the end of it they both turned on him setting up this showdown. Michael Cole "Jamie Noble may be freaky but he's been a great cruiserweight champion, holding it for 4 months now" Yes, a rare logical fact uttered by Michael Cole. Noble walks to the ring and into a baseball slide by Tajiri, who then moonsaults Jamie on the floor.....this is the 3rd match in a row that's started like this. Tajiri springboard moonsaults Noble then throws him inside for a quick nearfall. Noble whips Tajiri into the corner and delivers a knee to the back. Jamie stomps a mudhole in Tajiri and then taunts him and the crowd before executing a snap mare/kick to the back combination. Tajiri then reverses a neckbreaker into his own much deadlier kick to the back combo. Tajiri scoop slams Jamie, drops a knee to the forehead then covers for a near fall. Noble goes for a sunset flip but Tajiri sommersaults out of the ring....now that's innovative. Tajiri buzz-saw kicks Noble from the outside then crawls in for the cover 1...2..nope, too early. Noble whips Tajiri into the corner where he flips onto the shoulders of Noble who carries him across the ring and slams him backwards to the canvas. Jamie covers for a near fall then executes a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for another near fall. Noble applies a surfboard for about 30 seconds before Tajiri powers out of it then goes for a crucifix, which Jamie counters with a samoan drop. They trade a series of near-falls before Noble stands and taunts the crowd before whipping Tajiri hard into the corner. Tajiri rolls through a slam into a sunset flip but Noble rolls through that and delivers an elbow to the back. Noble delivers knees to the back then goes back to the surfboard, where Tazz applauds the mat wrestling. Tajiri powers out but Noble delivers a series of shoulders to the back in the corner. Noble atomic drops Tajiri on the top turnbuckle then goes for a back superplex, but Tajiri fights him off. Tajiri goes for a moonsault, Noble moves, Tajiri lands on his feet and kicks Jamie in the mid-section. Tajiri runs up the turnbuckle then delivers a spinning tornado ddt that gets a pop from the crowd. Things degenerate into fisticuffs where Tajiri takes over with a bunch of kicks to the ribs. A fired up Tajiri delivers his spring board back elbow smash then goes for the buzz-saw kick which Noble blocks, only to nail Jamie with a savate kick to the chin. Tajiri covers for 1....2...nope, Noble gets the shoulder up as Nidia damn near has a heart attack outside the ring, Tajiri then does A STANDING TARANTULA then hits a german suplex, he bridges and we got 1....2.....NOOOOO, Noble kicks out just in time. Noble charges into the corner where Tajiri finally does the real tarantula and breaks at 4. Tajiri misses the buzz-saw kick and Noble goes for the tiger bomb, which Tajiri counters by slingshotting him into the ring post. Jamie turns around into the buzz-saw kick then Tajiri covers...but oh wait....Nidia climbs on the apron to distract referee Brian Hebner by kissing him. Tajiri gets up and gets between them allowing Noble to nail him from behind then deliver the Tiger Bomb for 1...2...nooooo, Tajiri kicks out at 2. Tajiri hops on Noble's shoulder and goes for a victory roll but Nidia grabs onto Jamie's ankles and he falls onto Tajiri for 1....2....3 and Noble's your winner. Nidia grabs the belt and hands it to Noble as Tajiri grabs a hold of her then.....kisses her deeply. Tajiri comes up for air as Nidia is smiling from ear to ear while Noble goes :-O. He then says "Whataya think yer doin? Let me show ya how a man does it!" then he kisses her until Tajiri has enough and buzz-saw kicks their heads simultaneously. Heh, the crowd loved that spot. Not the worst but not significant either, pretty average cruiserweight match.
Time of match: 8:14
Winner: Jamie Noble by pinfall (still Cruiserweight champion)
We cut to Chris Benoit looking for Eddie Guerrero in the back. He finally catches him and says Chavo is getting his brains beat in by Kurt Angle, but Eddie doesn't believe him due to what's happened recently on Smackdown. You can clearly hear Chavo screaming behind the locked door as Eddie refuses to believe it and scoffs at Benoit. Finally the door opens, Chavo is thrown out of the room, and sure enough Kurt Angle walks out. Eddie charges but officials pull them apart as Kurt and Benoit share a laugh. The idea was to get Los Guerreros hot since Angle and Chris were set to take on Edge and Rey Mysterio later on in the night for the new WWE Tag Team Championships. On to the Raw main event...
Match 5
Kane vs Triple H for the WWE Intercontinental and World Heavyweight championships (Winner take all)
Commentators: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler
Normally title vs title matches like this are a dead give away the IC Champion is going to win since what the hell does the world champion need the IC title for, but with HHH involved this may not be on the level. As I said earlier, the whole saga with Kane being a murderer and HHH pretending to dry hump a dummy won the dubious 2002 Gooker Award for worst storyline of 2002. Someone actually went on record who was involved in the booking said Vince thought it was a great idea and really psyched for it, and the employee in the interview said the whole room thought it was disturbing. For the sake of keeping my sanity I'll just leave it at that and get on with the match. They just stare at each other for a whole minute before Kane backs HHH into the corner, using the power advantage. Triple H lands a right hand but Kane answers with one of his own that floors the champ. Triple H goes on offense but is whipped into the corner, however a sloppy charge eats knee. Kane pounds away on HHH in the corner finishing with an uppercut. Triple H runs off the ropes then Kane delivers a back bodydrop, then HHH bails to the outside to regroup. Triple H runs inside into right hands by Kane and a clothesline but the cover only gets a near fall. Kane again wails on HHH in the corner then whips him into the other corner where he delivers a running clothesline. Kane continues to fire away but this time he misses the charge completely. Triple H runs off the ropes and barely executes a neckbreaker, wow this looks sloppy so far. Triple H runs into the arms of Kane then squirms out but runs into a powerslam. Kane gets a near fall then continues with the right hands...boring. Kane bounces off the ropes but Triple H delivers a knee to the face then clotheslines him over the top rope to the floor. Triple H goes outside but runs into a choke, but gets a thumb to the eye to break away from the monster. Triple H puts the boots to Kane back inside then rams him head first into the top turnbuckle. A slugfest envelops in the corner until Triple H sneaks in a neckbreaker then covers for a near fall. Triple H lands yet another neckbreaker as the crowd begins to get very bored then he DOES IT AGAIN. If they want to tell a story that Kane has to come back from a bad neck to beat HHH, at least do different moves to the neck. Hunter pounds on Kane in the corner, whips him to the far side but the charge eats elbow. Kane runs right into a spinebuster but Helmsley's cover only gets 2. Triple H guillotines Kane on the second rope which is an impressive show of strength as Hunter slowly delivers a boot. Kane rallies with right hands but Hunter ducks under a clothesline and applies a sleeper hold, great..more rest holds. Kane doesn't exactly fade but he goes down, then gets up and delivers a back suplex to the champion. Kane runs off the ropes but misses the elbow drop but Hunter runs straight into a big boot. Kane delivers a running clothesline into the corner then executes a one armed sidewalk slam. Kane goes upstairs and delivers a flying clothesline that knocks The Game down. Ric Flair runs out and hits the ring which causes Kane to throw referee Earl Hebner out of the way to get to Flair. Ric snaps Kane off the top rope where HHH pounces with right hands then runs off the ropes....into yet another big boot. Flair brings the WHC belt in the ring and drops it for Hunter as Kane puts the boots to him. Triple H winds up and levels Kane with the belt then covers for 1.....2...nope. All of a sudden The Hurricane hits ringside and beats on Flair outside, he throws Ric into the stands but turns around into a pedigree by Hunter. Apparently Kane and The Hurricane were tag teaming recently on Raw. Kane sits up and rallies with clotheslines then right hands into the corner before finishing with a running powerslam. Kane covers for 1....2..nope, HHH kicks out as Flair yells at the ref. Hunter climbs to the second rope but Kane catches him in midair then drives him into the buckle. Kane sits Hunter on the top rope and fires away with right hands before being shoved off by HHH. The Game jumps into a boot from Kane then falls backwards, before Kane sits up and calls for the chokeslam. Kane grabs the neck but Hunter blocks it so Kane goes for another big boot....which catches Earl Hebner as Hunter moves out of the way. Kane charges but Hunter backdrops him over the top rope to the floor but Kane catches Hunter then chokeslams him through the Spanish announce table. Ric Flair runs over to distract Kane only to be met with a right hand that sends him flying. Kane throws Hunter inside and covers him, meanwhile Ric Flair goes underneath the ring and grabs the sledgehammer. Ric goes inside and goes to hit Kane but Kane catches it and thows Flair out of the ring. Kane stalks Hunter with the sledgehammer but The Game boots Kane in the nads, making him drop the hammer. Hunter goes to waffle Kane but Kane catches him and puts Hunter in the tombstone position, only to be hit in the nads with the hammer..OWWWWWW, that's gotta hurt. After a bit, Kane staggers to his feet and somehow executes the chokeslam on Hunter then covers. Another referee runs into the ring and counts 1....2..noooo, Flair pulls him out then punches him out. Flair goes upstairs but jumps into a chokeslam by Kane. Hunter drives Kane into the buckle then delivers the Pedigree in the center of the ring. Hunter covers, Hebner revives and counts 1.....2......3....awww shit. Yup, for the first time in history the IC champion LOSES in a winner take all match. Bad match and even worse ending as Ric Flair wrestled as much in 5 minutes as Hunter did in 16, not the best way to end the IC title. After ALL that HHH put Kane through, he comes out on top anyway. Get used to that, folks.
Time of Match: 16:12
Winner: Triple H by pinfall (World Heavyweight and IC Titles are unified)
Back to Stephanie in her office, she's visited byTracy and we're subjected to a girl talk segment. Tracy claims that she wanted to forget what Mark (yes, the writers of this garbage had The Undertaker's real name said on screen) did but Paul Heyman called her up and told her to bring the past up. Stephanie then gets her to confess that its all a flim flam as The Undertaker himself walks in. He calls Tracy a lying bitch then thanks Steph for the tip off. Steph tells Tracy to get lost and we never see her again. They could have eliminated the entire Tracy aspect of this equation and focus just on the cast the last few weeks and no one would have complained. Oh well...
Match 6
Edge and Rey Mysterio Jr vs Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit for the WWE Tag Team Championship
Commentators: Michael Cole and Tazz
This is the finals for the new tag team titles on Smackdown. Again, in terms of lineage, the World Tag Team Titles are the ones that's been around forever but yet these new belts are the WWE Tag Team titles. Anyway, Edge and Mysterio had defeated Brock Lesnar and Tajiri, Ron Simmons and D-Von Dudley beat Billy and Chuck, then Los Guerreros beat Rikishi and Mark Henry, Angle and Benoit beat Billy Kidman and John Cena to finish the first round. Edge and Mysterio defeated Simmons and D-Von to advance to the finals as Angle and Benoit took care of Los Guerreros on Smackdown to set up the finals. Angle and Benoit must co-exist or else they will be suspended since they had been feuding the past 2 years or so. Mysterio starts out with Angle and he goes behind Rey and won't let go, so Rey stomps on his foot to break the hold. Angle hops around then runs after Rey who counters with a fireman's carry and a dropkick to the knee, Rey delivers a lightning quick leg drop then hops up on the second rope where he delivers a hurracarrana where he flips over Angle's head, great spot. Rey delivers a drop-toe-hold then slaps Angles heads which angers Kurt to chase Mysterio out of the ring. Rey tags in Edge who gets a pop then he locks up with Kurt, then they do a nice chain wrestling sequence before Angle shoulderblocks him to the ground. Edge delivers a series of arm drags and a dropkick. Kurt trash talks Edge then makes the tag to Benoit who circles around with Edge before tying up. They chain wrestle with Benoit getting the early advantage before Edge backs him into the corner. Benoit executes a headlock takeover then holds it until Edge powers out of it. Benoit runs straight into a knee to the midsection then Edge follows up with a stomach breaker but the cover only gets a near fall. Edge continues to work over Benoit then delivers a flapjack then majistrol cradles him up for a near fall. Edge bounces off the ropes but Angle drives a knee to the small of the back to stop the momentum. Chris sends Edge off the ropes where he spears Angle off the ring apron. Edge does a running roll up for a near fall but he's kicked off where Angle grabs him then snaps him throat first off the top rope. Benoit delivers a clothesline then a neckbreaker before tagging Kurt back in. Angle stomps away at Edge before trading blows in the center of the ring until Kurt catches him with a knee to the midsection. Kurt covers for a near fall before applying a sleeper hold. Edge powers out of it then fires away at Kurt in the corner but gets whipped into the other corner. Angle charges but Edge gets the boot up, only to run into a BtB suplex from Kurt. Angle taunts Mysterio as Benoit tags in to deliver more punishment to Edge. He goes with rights and lefts in the corner then stomps away before sending Edge sternum first into the far corner. Benoit continues to fire away before doing his 3 german suplex in a row combination. Chris knocks Rey off the apron then gives the sign for the flying headbutt before going upstairs. Edge gets up and knocks Chris crotch first onto the top turnbuckle before delivering a superplex which the crowd loved. Edge slowly makes it over too his corner where he tags in a fired up Rey Mysterio. Rey knocks Angle off the apron as retaliation then does a spinning hurracuranna to Benoit. Benoit staggers and Rey delivers a drop-toe-hold which sends Benoit into the bottom turnbuckle. Rey runs across the ring and delivers a low dropkick in the corner as Angle runs inside only to be met with a dropkick. Rey positions Chris back first into the second rope then delivers a springboard guillotine leg drop, nice one. Rey covers for 1....2..and nooooo, Kurt breaks up the count which causes Edge to run and clock him. Edge clotheslines himself and Angle over the top and out while Benoit counters a wheelbarrow bulldog by throwing Rey down. Benoit locks in the crippler crossface and Rey looks like he's about to tap when Edge runs in and saves the day. Angle pulls Edge out so they brawl on the outside as Rey dropkicks Benoit into the second rope then calls for the 6-1-9. Rey goes for it but Benoit catches him and goes for a running powerbomb but Edge flies off the top rope unnoticed and dropkicks Rey on top of Benoit for 1....2...nooooo, Chris kicks out at the last second. Rey slowly goes upstairs when all of a sudden Angle runs into the ring and up the turnbuckle then delivers a sick BtB suplex off the top rope. Chris crawls over and covers for 1...2...noooo Rey gets the shoulder up. Chris and Kurt isolate Mysterio in the corner as Angle tags in and works over the battered and bruised Rey. Tazz makes a comment how he was undersized like Mysterio so he got beat up on a nightly basis. Kurt delivers a floatover suplex for a near fall then applies a front headlock. Rey delivers a nothern lights suplex but runs smack into a BtB suplex by Angle. Kurt covers for 1....2...negative, Rey gets shoulder up. Benoit tags in who backdrops Mysterio about 9 feet in the air, yikes but the cover only gets 2. Benoit executes a suplex then covers for another near-fall then knife edge chops him in the corner. A charge by Benoit eats boot then Rey hurracaranna's Benoit shoulder first into the ring post. Benoit crawls over and tags in Angle but Mysterio crawls and makes the hot tag to Edge who cleans house with clotheslines. Edge delivers a backbody drop to Kurt then faceplants Benoit in the center of the ring. Edge ducks under an Angle clothesline and delivers Edge-o-matic with a bridge for 1...2...no, Benoit breaks up the count. Mysterio whips Edge into the corner where he hits his Spear before he whips Mysterio into Benoit who delivers a bronco buster. Edge delivers a spear to Angle in the corner then flips Rey over his head who delivers a hurracaranna off the top rope, holy shit that was good. Benoit goes upstairs and Edge covers for 2 before rolling out of the way where Benoit connects with the flying headbutt on his own partner. Mysterio dropkicks Benoit through the ropes and to the outside as Edge covers Angle for 1...2...new champi....no, Angle kicks out. Angle recovers and delivers a released german suplex then gives the sign for the angle slam. Rey runs and Edge flips him over who plancha's onto Angle, holy crap times two. Edge gives the sign for the spear but Benoit trips him up from behind and locks in the crossface before Edge makes it to the rope. Benoit refuses to let go so Rey delivers a 619 out of nowhere but also out of nowhere comes Angle who executes the angle slam on Mysterio. Kurt pulls the singlet straps down then applies the ankle lock on Edge, who kicks Angle off then cradles him up for 1.....2...NOOOO wow that was close. Edge hits the spear on Kurt for 1....2..nope, Benoit saves the day. Edge flips Mysterio over the top rope and onto Benoit on the outside. Edge goes for the Edgecution but Angle switches out and applies the ankle lock in the center of the ring. Edge manages to roll out and apply an anklelock of his own, but Angle rolls through that then re-applies the hold. Tazz "You can't outwrestle Angle" and sure enough Edge taps out to end the match. Angle and Benoit are the new WWE Tag Team Champions. That was awesome and everyone knew it to.
Time of match: 21:58
Winners: Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit by submission (New WWE Tag Team Champion)
Back in the trainers room, Undertaker tells the Larry the trainer to shoot him up with pain killers so his broken hand doesn't act up on him during Hell in a Cell later on. Larry is reluctant to do it but does it anyway. Pretty pointless segment but whatever, on to the next match.
Match 7
Victoria vs Trish Stratus for the WWE Women's Championship
Commentators: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler
Lisa Marie Varon was a fitness model in the 90's that somehow became one of The Godfather's hos and eventually trained to be a wrestler herself. The at this point 31 year old was rechristened Victoria, who's character was a psycho. The storyline was Trish and Victoria used to be fitness models but Victoria was jealous that Trish became world famous so she wants her revenge. In real life, they were both fitness models at one point but I doubt they ever worked on a project together. JR hypes up Victoria as a very evil woman as she backs Trish into the ropes where they exchange slaps to the face. Victoria applies a side headlock then takes her over with it before Trish powers out of it. Victoria delivers a clothesline then stomps away in the corner. Trish answers with a clothesline and a near-fall before doing a Steve Blackman like pump kick. She goes for another kick but Victoria blocks it then ducks under a roundhouse kick only to take a thrust kick square in the jaw, ouch. She covers for a near fall then Victoria bails to the outside for a breather. Trish slides outside and rams Victoria shoulder first into the ring post then clotheslines her down. Victoria staggers to her feet then throws Trish face first into the ring post then drops her sternum first into the black barrier. Victoria kicks Trish around as JR continues to hype Victoria as the second coming of Bull Nakano in terms of size, strength, etc which is weird because Trish is pretty much the same size as her. Trish slides in the ring as Victoria climbs to the apron then executes a slingshot flipover legdrop the covers for 1....2...nope. Victoria drives Trish into the corner with shoulderblocks then goes for a monkey flip, which causes Trish to land ass first on Victoria's face....someone screwed up. Either Victoria didn't kick her off enough or Trish didn't push off. Victoria goes for a second monkey flip but Trish counters by sitting her on the top rope and fires away with forearms. Trish delivers the Stratusphere and covers for 1.....2....negative, Victoria gets the shoulder up. Victoria gets up and applies a Jesse Ventura style backbreaker until Trish flips over for another near fall. Victoria slaps Trish across the face then delivers a scoop slam and a tilt-a-whirl sidewalk slam. Victoria goes upstairs but Trish puts her in victory roll position and falls backward to the canvas, then covers for 1...2...nope. They trade blows in the center of the ring before Trish hits the Chick Kick from out of nowhere and covers for 1...2....nope Victoria kicks out at 2. Trish delivers two swinging neckbreakers then goes for Stratusfaction but Victoria counters, so Trish does a running roll up for 1....2...3 and this one's over, Trish retains the title. After the bell Victoria kicks Trish in the throat which prompts referee Jack Doan to tackle Victoria. Jack tries to restrain Victoria and eventually rolls her out of the ring as JR calls Victoria a vixen.
Time of match: 5:32
Winner: Trish Stratus by pinfall (Still Women's champion)
We go to Rikishi at The World over in Time's Square to give his 2 cents about the upcoming Hell in a Cell match. Rikishi picks Undertaker to win because of his track record, kind of hard to argue that. Next is a montage of the last month or so's events. My favorite was the Smackdown where Undertaker was chasing Matt Hardy backstage, Lesnar attacked Taker then executed the F-5 to him on bags of popcorn. We then are treated to the whole Tracy storyline where Taker admits to not having seen her in 7 years, also my favorite where Tracy attempts to slap him across the face but catches him half heartedly behind the ear. Now we never have to say her name again. On to the main event.
Match 8
The Undertaker vs Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman) for the WWE Championship in a Hell in a Cell match
Commentators: Michael Cole and Tazz
Lesnar had been dominating everything his path since his debut, but this would be his toughest challenge to date. Can he survive the the Cell and prove to be a worthy champion or will the dead man reign supreme? Taker enters wearing the cast which was declared legal by Stephanie three days earlier. The bell rings and Taker immediately goes to smash Lesnar's face in with the cast, but Brock moves out of the way. Brock locks in a go behind takedown before Taker runs off the ropes into a powerslam. A pinfall attempt gets 2 then Lesnar drives shoulders into the corner but the charge misses. Undertaker delivers a huge punch to the mid-section then goes on offense as the camera pans to show Lesnar's bandaged forehead. Taker goes to waffle Brock with the cast but Lesnar bails to the outside. Brock tries to go out of the cell but its padlocked so he tries to kick the door in. Taker stalks Brock back inside the ring who puts the boots to him, veteran move by the rookie. Brock attacks the injured arm in the corner before firing away with forearms to the back. Lesnar locks in an armbar on the injured arm before Taker catches him with a big right hand. Taker sends Brock off and nails him with the cast again, Taker grimaces in the corner as Heyman looks concerned then Brock bails to the outside. Brock blades on camera as Heyman screams NOOOO then Taker goes after the open wound of Lesnar. Taker throws Lesnar into the steel steps and Lesnar crashes into the cell as well. Taker begins throwing Lesnar in opposite directions of the cell then actually climbs it a bit to drop a knee on the champion. Taker rakes Lesnar's face against the cell then throws him off the cage into a clothesline. Taker covers for a near fall before raking Lesnar against the steel mesh of the cell. After manhandling Brock on the outside of the ring, Taker finally rolls him onto the ring apron as Tazz says he's never seen the champ dominated like this before. Taker continues to use the cast as a weapon then drops the leg across the face. Taker goes up to the top rope which is weird since there's a cell in the way, then he drops a knee before falling off the apron. Lesnar crumples to the floor as well before Taker covers for 1.....2....nope, too early. Taker throws Lesnar against the cell as Heyman reaches into the cell with his right arm. Taker just looks at him before delivering a right hand to the busted open forehead of the champion. Heyman calls him a bastard so Undertaker turns around and big boots Heyman much to Tazz's delight. Taker throws Lesnar against the steel steps as a busted open Paul Heyman staggers to his feet, only to be grabbed by the tie by The Undertaker through the cell. Taker rams Heyman against the cell using the tie a few times before Lesnar charges only to nail Heyman instead. Taker charges but Lesnar catches him then pancakes him against the cell, the momentum has shifted. Lesnar goes on offense for the first time in about 7 minutes and puts the boots to Taker. Brock grabs the belt that Taker tied around his cast and slips it through the cell into the hands of Heyman, who holds Taker up while Brock buries a chair to the back of the deadman. Lesnar then whacks the arm a bunch of times with the chair until the belt actually breaks in half, ouch. Lesnar tries to rip off the cast but cant so he tries to bite it off, prompting Taker to unload on him with fists. Brock continues to ram Taker's arm into the cell then desperately tries to rip the cast off. Lesnar takes too long to rip it off so Taker boots him in the face. Lesnar rolls Taker back inside and continues to stop on the injured arm as the crowd begins to get antsy. Lesnar FINALLY gets the cast off and rips it in half, yeah you show that cast who's boss! Lesnar stomps away as Taker tries to cover up the now exposed broken right hand before Lesnar continues to attack, attack, attack. Brock suplexes Taker nut first on the top turnbuckle then rips his bandanna off before landing clubbing blows to the back. Lesnar grabs a hold of the ceiling of the cell and kicks Taker repeatedly, that's impressive. Taker delivers a low blow then tosses Brock halfway across the ring as Heyman says "Oh please god no!" Taker walks across the top rope using the top of the cell for support then drops an elbow on the champion. Taker covers as Heyman screams...1.....2...nope, got the shoulder up. Lesnar goes to the floor then Taker dives through the ropes onto Lesnar into the cell. Taker goes to pick up the steel steps but his broken hand prevents him from picking them up. Lesnar attacks him then throws him into the cell before finishing with a clothesline. Brock picks up the steel steps and dents Taker's skull in with them, causing Taker to blade really bad. Its funny because Brock's face looks completely clear and the only blood remaining is in his buzz-cut. Brock once again slams the steel steps into Undertaker's cranium as Heyman struggles to get to his feet. Brock heaves the steps over the ring to the other side of the cell as Taker bleeds all over the floor. Brock chokes Taker with his boot against the cell then rolls him inside as Heyman celebrates. Taker completely forgets his injury and rallies with right hands before running into a spinebuster delivered by Lesnar. Brock covers for a near fall before going back on offense, both men appear to be spent. Brock pounds away at Taker in the corner before Taker connects with right hands (again forgetting the injury completely) and a clothesline. Taker stomps on Brock's right had as a form of redemption before giving the sign for Old School, however, he takes too long so Lesnar throws him off the top rope. Tazz makes the dumb comment that Undertaker has never been pinned in a Hell in a Cell, guess he forgot the very first HIAC where he got pinned by Shawn Michaels. Lesnar goes for the F-5 but Taker counters with a chokeslam (again ignoring his "injured" hand) then covers for 1.....2...NOOOOOO, Lesnar gets the shoulder up. Brock staggers to the corner where Undertaker delivers a running avalanche before sending him into the opposite corner. Taker charges but eats boot then Brock gives the sign for the last ride....stealing The Undertaker's finisher. However, Taker counters with a backdrop then delivers his running ddt. Taker covers..1.......2...noooooo, another kick out by Brock. Take gives the sign for the last ride but Lesnar counters with shoulders in the corner. Lesnar climbs the turnbuckle and goes for the 10 punch in the corner routine until Taker counters with the Last Ride out of nowhere. Taker covers...ONE...TWO....THR...nope, Lesnar grabs the bottom rope at the last possible moment. Taker is still bleeding like crazy and Brock is covered in Taker's blood, must not be a good feeling at all. Taker struggles to his feet beaten...spent....exhausted, then he gives the sign for the last remaining hold he knows....the Tombstone Piledriver. Taker goes for it but Lesnar counters by pulling on Taker's pants then putting Taker in the F-5 position. Lesnar BURIES the F-5 and covers for 1....2....THREEE and Lesnar wins it. Wow.....not as bad as I thought it would be, I'd say this was the second best match on the whole card. Lesnar exits the cell and grabs the WWE Title belt then climbs to the top of the cell. Brock poses on top of the cell as Michael Cole shills by saying "Can anyone stop this man?" as we go off the air.
Time of match: 27:15
Winner: Brock Lesnar by pinfall (Still WWE Champion)
Remember my editorial of King of the Ring where I said the matches were great but the storylines were absurd? Well not only were these storylines much MUCH worse, but the in ring action suffered as well. I will say the seeds were planted for Smackdown to take off as they boasted legitimate talent such as Rey Mysterio Jr, Matt Hardy, Edge, Brock Lesnar, The Guerrero's, Kidman, Tajiri, Kurt Angle and others, but they just needed proper storylines in order for the fans to tune in. The paid attendance for the event was just over 9 thousand fans, almost HALF the amount of the previous years No Mercy. When the second rope broke in the 1st match, that was an ominous sign for the matches that followed. The Raw matches besides Van Dam were mostly boring although once again Smackdown stole the show. Tomorrow night's Raw will be held at the Gaylord Entertainment Center in Knoxville, Tennessee. I'll see you there.
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