WWE Velocity (11/16/02)

WWE Velocity

Nationwide Arena

Columbus, OH

November 16, 2002

Commentators: Michael Cole and Mark "Dorkus Malorkus" Lloyd

Ring Announcer: Tony Chimel

Survivor Series is tomorrow night but we got another edition of Velocity to sit through first. The double edged sword is this particular recording doesn't have the recaps. Nobody has them so its going to be straight matches for this one. If anyone has the full show, let me know. Tonight we have Crash Holly vs Chuck Palumbo, Shannon Moore vs Albert and Funaki vs D'Von Dudley. Let's get to the action.

Match 1

Crash Holly vs Chuck Palumbo

Crash gets a pop for god knows what reason even though he's been working heel lately on Velocity. Crash falls into the ring during his entrance. Crash starts with the headlock at the bell and catches himself on the ropes. Crash tries an up and over but Chuck catches him and hits snake eyes in the corner. He whips Crash hard into the buckle but gets drop toe holded into the corner. Crash stomps away at Chuck. then says he's going to give Chuck the iron claw. He grabs Chuck in the stomach and Chuck looks at him funny. Chuck then drops him with a big forearm. Crash rallies with a snapmare and a dropkick to the neck, covering for 1...2..nope. Dorkus Malorkus then yaps about Brock Lesnar as Crash looks in a surfboard. Crash hots a forearm to the back and hits a scoop slam. Crash covers for a deuce and locks in a chinlock. Chuck powers out of it as Mark Lloyd has no idea who Baron Von Rashcke is. Crash jumps off the top rope but eats boot by Chuck. Palumno rallies with a right hand and belly to belly suplex. Chuck covers for 1..2...nope. Crash runs into an overhead belly to belly suplex, gets up and Palumbo hits him with the discuss punch. Chuck hits Real Crash Landing and covers for 1...2...3 to win the match. Kind of boring but that's what happens when you have big hoss against little technician.

Time of match: 4:52

Winner: Palumbo by pinfall

This would have been the recap portion but we don't have those here. We do get a graphic that Jamie Noble will appear later in the show. Back from break its on to the next match.

Match 2

Albert vs Shannon Moore

Another big hoss against a smaller dude match although Moore is a bit more flashy than Crash....in theory anyway. Cole says Shannon is outweighed by 150 pounds in this one. Bell rings as Shannon starts a "shave your back chant". Shannon starts with right hands to the gut and a kick as well. Albert backdrops Shannon and clotheslines him against the ropes. Albert gets kicked in the ribs on the way in but Shannon gets dropped with a shoulderblock. Albert gets two knees to the ribs and a clothesline. Albert slingshots Moore into the second rope. Albert covers for 1...2..no. Albert indian burns Shannon then goes to the blatant choke. Albert lands a headbutt as Cole says to come do that to Lloyd. Shannon goes to the second rope but Albert catches him midair and delivers a shoulder breaker. Cole asks what it would be like to french kiss Albert and Lloyd gets grossed out. Albert charges in the corner but eats ring post. Moore kicks him in the shoulder and drops Albert into the second buckle. Shannon does a second rope coup de gras but runs right into the bicycle kick. Albert hits the baldo bomb and covers for 1..2...3 to win the match. Not so much a squash but still Albert wins decisively. They really need to do something with him, especially on Smackdown. If they can make Big Show the biggest threat to Brock Lesnar in under a month after being a dud on Raw for a year, I'm sure they can make Albert into something as well.

Time of match: 3:22

Winner: Albert by pinfall

Without the recaps, we got Jamie Noble up next for a conference. Jamie and Nidia come out and Cole asks if Lloyd hits his woman on the ass. Lloyd says no....poor guy. Noble says the crowd is full of poor, pathetic people. They ain't got no respect for anyone. Nidia complains about the crowd calling them trash and says she's "...uh....uh....a lady!" Noble says he's Jamie Noble, cruiserweight champion. Nidia has no idea how long he's been champion so he says "a long time." Noble screams he's not going to lose to Kidman at Survivor Series. Cole "WHY IS JAMIE NOBLE YELLING AT ME??" Cole "Maybe Nidia can buy a calculator with the Survivor Series paycheck." Ha! Cole's been hilarious tonight, a rare W. Pointless segment other than to establish Nidia is stupid, cool I guess? Again, without the recaps, its on to the main event.

Match 3

D'Von Dudley vs Funaki

This steps from last week when Funaki pinned D'Von in a tag team match. Tony Chimel just calls him "D'von" so apart from the theme song, he's kind of ditched the Reverend gimmick. Cole "Funaki doesn't have a microphone in his hand! What is wrong with the world??" Ha! Bell rings and Funaki runs into a knee to the ribs. D'Von nearly takes Funaki's head off with a clothesline. D'Von hits a vertical suplex and covers for two as Cole calls Paul Heyman a scumbag. Fuanki ducks the line, dropkicks D'Von and hits an armdrag. Funaki hits a dropkick to the face but is sent into the corner. A charge by D'Von eats boot and Funaki jumps off the second rope into a clothesline. Dudley scoop slams Funaki and drops the big elbow before covering for a deuce. Funaki gets his eyes raked and Dudley taunts the irate crowd. D'Von gets the chinlock and tells some fan to shut up....or maybe he's talking to Cole and Lloyd babble on about Brock Lesnar. Funaki powers out of it and schoolboys D'Von for 1...2..nope. D'Von hits a powerslam and covers for 1.....2...no. D'Von goes up to the second rope but misses the splash when Funaki rolls out of the way. Funaki hits an enziguiri and a facebuster bulldog. Funaki covers for 1...2...nope. Funaki hits the ddt and covers for another two count. Funaki gets caught in the Saving Grace and D'Von covers for 1...2...3 to win the match. Not bad for crash style and D'Von does the testify signal....hasn't done THAT in a while. 

Time of match: 4:20

Winner: D'Von by pinfall

We sign off here and we're on to Survivor Series. Big Show vs Brock Lesnar, Jamie Noble vs Billy Kidman, Edge & Rey vs Los Guerreros vs Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit are your Smackdown matches. Trish vs Victoria in a hardcore match, 3 Minute Warning and Rico against the Dudleys and Jeff Hardy in a table match and the elimination chamber match. The only thing left to do is catch the pre-show tomorrow night on Heat featuring a tag match. I'll see you there.

WWE Velocity (11/9/02)

WWE Velocity

Verizon Wireless Arena

Manchester, NH

November 9, 2002

Commentators: Mark "Dorkus Malorkus" Lloyd and Michael Cole

Ring Announcer: Tony Chimel

This week's Velocity was taped in Manchester before Smackdown so it'll be hilarious to hear Cole & Lloyd talk about events in the past tense that haven't happened yet while these matches were going on. Like I said on the Smackdown editorial, it was a tale of two halves. The first half of the show was meh while the second half was great. Hopefully the recaps focus on the positives....anyway, on to the first match.

Match 1

Crash Holly vs Tajiri

Another Cruiserweight match to open the show....not that its a bad thing. Bell's gone and they tie up to start. Cole and Lloyd immediately ignore what's going on in the ring to babble on about Brock Lesnar and Big Show. Tajiri gets in a test of strength but Crash gets an arm drag. They chain wrestle with a stalemate and Tajiri wants a handshake. Crash slaps the hand away and Tajiri chops him in the chest for it. Crash goes for the tarantula in the corner but Tajiri blocks him and kicks him off the apron. Crash throws Tajiri into the barricade as Cole now babbles on about The Undertaker being on Smackdown next week. Holly gets in a gut-wrench backbreaker as Cole then hypes up next week's Smackdown. Once again, I know its Vince or Kevin Dunn in their ear, but they've devoted maybe 10 seconds in the last two minutes talking about the actual match going on. If I were Crash or Tajiri I'd be pissed because as annoying as Vince himself was on commentary, he'd hype the daylights out of his stars in the ring to get them over. Why couldn't he instruct these two to do the same?  Cole now babbles on about Al Wilson as Crash hits a side backbreaker then holds him for a submission hold. Tajiri fights his way out of it. Tajiri goes for a hurracarana but Crash blocks it with a powerbomb. Cole then babbles on about Nidia and Jamie Noble being on Blind Date this Tuesday. Tajiri plays possum with a kick to the head then hits the savate kick. He covers for 1...2...nope. Tajiri hits the handspring elbow but misses a charge in the corner. Holly rolls him up and hook the tights for 1...2..nope. Takiri goes for the sunset flip but Crash holds on to the ropes. Tajiri bridges out and hits a hurracarana but Holly rolls through it. Tajiri hits a dropkick and covers for a 2 3/4....that was REAL close. Lloyd hypes up the upcoming recap of the 2 out of 3 falls match as Tajiri finally hits the tarantula. Tajiri misses the buzz-kick, but sidekicks Crash then finally hits the buzz kick. That looked out of the movie Bloodsport. Tajiri covers for 1...2....3 to win the match. Not a bad match but Lloyd and Cole talked about everything BUT the match until the very end. Better late than never because it was actually good for under 5 minutes.

Time of match: 4:49

Winner: Tajiri by pinfall

We cut to Tom Prichard of all people for the recap of....Al Wilson proposing to Dawn Marie. Of all the things they could have led to, THIS was what made Velocity? We head to commercial although the only thing funny about the segment was Cole and Tazz ripping it from start to finish. Back from commercial the Lugz Boot of the Week is Eddie and Rey beating Los Guerreros for the number 1 contender shot from two weeks ago...then again Boot From Two Weeks Ago doesn't have the same ring to it. Finally we get the recap of the 2 out of 3 falls tag team match where we crowned new champs. Then we get a Tough Enough 3 clip where Chad is thrown off the show. Nothing of value was lost. Let's get to our next match.

Match 2

Albert vs Jason Porcaro

Holy schmidt its Jason Porcaro. He was known as Vince Vicallo in Chaotic Wrestling and was trained by Killer Kowalski. Albert tells Jason to give him a free shot as Cole says Jason is his size. True, he was in great shape but was just a bit taller than Spike Dudley. Jason gets in a headlock but Albert heaves him away. Cole makes fun of Jason as Albert drops him with a shoulderblock. Albert drops an elbow and forearms him on the ring apron. Albert rams his head on the mat and then puts him on the top rope, tying him in the tree of woe. Jason hits a headbutt to the ribs but Albert forearms him in the head. Jason runs right into the bicycle kick and gets slingshotted throat first into the second rope. Albert hits the Baldo Bomb and covers for 1...2...3 to win the match. That was a squash right out of 1994 which was common for Kowalski grads at the time.

Time of match: 1:51

Winner: Albert by pinfall

We go to commercial where WWE Anthology is coming out on CD. Those of us who had Napster and Limewire probably had all the theme songs on bootleg CD's anyway. Back from break the JVC Tower of Power is once again Big Show chokeslamming Brock Lesnar. Naturally we get the recap of this past week where Show cuts the promo, Lesnar smashes the TV, Heyman gives Brock a tongue lashing, Eddie vs Brock, Show lays Brock out again. Then we get a Suvivor Series commercial with the schematics of the elimination chamber. Now let's get to our "main event"

Match 3

Funaki and Chuck Palumbo vs D'Von Dudley and Ron Simmons

Like I said in a different write up, Palumbo was completely lost without Billy Gunn so they just stuck him with Funaki to take on D'Von and Ron here. Palumbo and Simmons start with Ron getting the headlock in. Ron shoulderblocks Palumbo but Chuck counters with a powerslam. Cole hypes up the Super Tuesday triple threat match between Edge, Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero. Palumbo covers for a two count with Ron getting a thumb to the eye. Ron backs Chuck into the corner and mule kicks him. Lloyd literally stops what Cole is saying to talk about Lesnar and Paul Heyman.....god this is ridiculous. Simmons goes to pull Chuck up but he's already on his feet, what was that? D'Von tags in but so does Funaki. Palumbo scoop slams D'Von and holds him for the Funaki dropkick. Funaki unloads with D'Von but Dudley drops him with his own right hand. Dudley chops Funaki's chest but Funaki lands two dropkicks then covers for a deuce. Funaki teases a crane kick as Simmons tags in. Cole "Ron is not going to put up with that BS." Ron shoves him backwards and says bring it. Ron stomps and punches away at Funaki but Funaki slides under him. Funaki hits a dropkick but runs into a clothesline. Ron covers for two but Dudley tags in. D'Von hits a back elbow smash then locks in a chin lock. Lloyd keeps babbling about Brock Lesnar as D'Von hits a powerslam. Dudley covers for two but Palumbo gets in the ring to allow a heel double team in the corner. Simmons tags in D'Von but Funaki tries to rally with right hands. D'Von tags Ron back in to apply a chinlock. Ron then goes for the Dominator but Funaki rolls out of it, gets a kick to the ribs and hits a DDT (Mark calls it a bulldog....whoops). Palumbo gets the mid tag and backdrops D'Von then hits an overhead belly to belly suplex. Chuck covers for 1....2...nope. Palumbo hits a discuss punch to D'Von then clotheslines Simmons. A suplex lands on D'Von and a clothesline to Simmons. Palumbo rocket launches Funaki on D'Von for 1....2...nope.  Simmons breaks up the count. Palumbo and Simmons brawl to the floor as D'Von hits a neckbreaker off the second rope. He covers for 1....2...nooooo. Funaki rolls up D'Von out of nowhere for 1.....2....3 to win the match. Quick win by Funaki as the heels can't believe it. Palumbo and Funaki win it even if it was formulaic. The announcers sign off.

Time of match: 7:07

Winners: Funaki and Palumbo by pinfall

That about does it for this week's velocity. As usual the mainstays do what they can to put on a show before Smackdown begins. Speaking of which, we got Super Tuesday and one more Smackdown before Survivor Series. They're going to have to announce some matches real quick because all we got are Show vs Lesnar and possibly Kidman vs Noble. As for the next show, we got a double shot tomorrow of house shows for Raw and Smackdown. Raw will be in Hershey, PA to continue their Pennsylvania tour so I'll see you there.

WWE at Champaign Assembly Hall (11/9/02)

Champaign Assembly Hall

Champaign, IL

November 9, 2002

The stars of Smackdown have come to Champaign, Illinois for a special house show just eight days before Survivor Series. Brock Lesnar got manhandled by Big Show who also squashed Matt Hardy that night. Let's see if the storylines on the house show cards have changed or if its the same old matches.

Match 1

Albert vs Rikishi in a Kiss My Ass Match

Right off the bat the answer is NO as we get yet another Kiss My Ass match featuring Albert and Rikishi. Naturally Rikishi hits the superkick, gets the pin and hits the stinkface on Albert.

Winner: Rikishi by pinfall

Match 2

Doug Basham and Bull Buchanan vs Eric Angle and Shelton Benjamin

Yes, you read that right, ERIC Angle got some work in on this OVW match. For those that don't know, Eric is one of Kurt Angle's older brothers although he's the closest in age. He wrestled for Waynesburg University after high school. Eric was still hanging around as Buchanan was due to get a repackage. Basham and Benjamin are the prospects so to speak. Benjamin pinned Basham after a tornado DDT.

Winners: Angle and Benjamin by pinfall

Match 3

Val Venis vs Nathan Jones

The beast from Australia faces the veteran Venis here. Venis missed the money shot and Jones pinned him after a full nelson slam.

Winner: Jones by pinfall

Match 4

Tajiri vs Jamie Noble for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship

Same old shit here as Noble defends against Tajiri for the one millionth time. Noble gets the pin using the tights to retain.

Winner: Noble by pinfall (Still Cruiserweight champion)

Match 5

Big Show vs Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship

I'll never understand why Vince McMahon insisted on house show matches featuring your upcoming main events. This was never intended to be televised but they had a chance for a Hogan/Andre story here, could have at least held off. Worse, Lesnar gets the pin after cracking Show with a steel chair.

Winner: Lesnar by pinfall (still WWE Champion)

Match 6

D'Von Dudley and Ron Simmons vs Crash Holly and Chuck Palumbo

Palumbo was completely lost without Billy Gunn at this time so they threw Holly in there to give him a partner against D'Von and Simmons. D'Von pinned Crash to win the match.

Winners: Simmons and Dudley by pinfall

Match 7

John Cena and Dawn Marie vs Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson

The same match from Rebellion was going around the house show circuit. Marie had an inside cradle on Wilson but Kidman reversed it to win the match.

Winners: Kidman and Wilson by pinfall

Match 8

Chris Benoit vs Matt Hardy

Then now ex-tag team champion faces Mattitude on this house show. Benoit rolled through the twist of fate and won it with the crippler crossface.

Winner: Benoit by submission

Match 9

Los Guerreros (Eddie and Chavo Jr) vs Edge and Rey Mysterio Jr for the WWE Tag Team Championship

Los Guerreros get their title shot on a house show against the new champions. The ref counted a double pin when Edge hit the spear on Eddie and Rey hit the springboard legdrop after the 619 on Chavo.

Winners: Edge and Mysterio by pinfall (still Tag Team Champions)

This show definitely varied in quality depending on the match for sure. Rikishi vs Albert doesn't sound appealing and anytime Dawn Marie and Torrie have to wrestle, its a chore. Tajiri vs Noble had gotten old but Benoit vs Hardy sounds fun along with the double main event. We're 8 days out from Survivor Series and apart from Lesnar vs Big Show, there aren't any Smackdown matches announced yet. Hopefully tonight's Velocity will give some answers. Before that, we have the Raw Saturday house show in Philadelphia at the First Union Center. I'll see you there.

WWE at Bangor Auditorium (11/4/02)

Bangor Auditorium

Bangor, Maine

November 4, 2002

For some stupid reason Vince McMahon decided to have his Smackdown crew do a live show the same night as Raw was on. Smackdown shows had been damn good but what was the harm in giving the crew a day off and come back on Tuesday? But, that's Vince for you. So many lives and careers ended prematurely due to the stress of the road schedule. Despite all that, this looks to be a great show with most of the same card they had been running in Pennsylvania the last two days.

Match 1

Doug Basham and Bull Buchanan vs Sean O'Haire and Crash Holly

No Shelton Benjamin this time as Crash Holly takes his place against Basham and Buchanan. The office was taking a look at Basham and O'Haire and liked what they saw. Holly and O'Haire got the duke.

Winners: O'Haire and Holly

Match 2

Shelton Benjamin vs Val Venis

Val had been Nathan Jones' punching bag during the Pennsylvania trip so here he's matched up with another OVW prospect, Shelton Benjamin. Val won the match over the newcomer with the Money Shot.

Winner: Venis by pinfall

Match 3

Albert vs Rikishi

Albert had been receiving a lot of stinkfaces lately when matched up against Rikishi in Kiss My Ass matches. This time Albert gets the win with a big kick to the face.

Winner: Albert by pinfall

Match 4

D'Von Dudley and Ron Simmons vs Sho Funaki and Chuck Palumbo

Like I said in yesterday's writeup, why they didn't just stick Palumbo and O'Haire together with Billy Gunn injured I'll never know. Either way D'Von pinned Funaki to give the win to him and Simmons.

Winners: Dudley and Simmons by pinfall

Match 5

Big Show vs Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship

With the writing on the wall these two were going to meet at Survivor Series, Vince brought the match to the house show circuit to build some chemistry. Lesnar pinned Show after the F-5....good thing that wasn't on TV.

Winner: Lesnar by pinfall (Still WWE Champion)

Match 6

Tajiri vs Jamie Noble for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship

Once again Tajiri gets a crack at the Cruiserweight championship and once again Jamie Noble pins him to keep the title.

Winner: Noble by pinfall (Still Cruiserweight champion)

Match 7

Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson vs John Cena and Dawn Marie

Just like in PA, the mixed tag match came to Bangor, Maine as well. Getting close to Cena's home town but still can't get a win as Wilson pins Marie after a swinging neckbreaker.

Winners: Wilson and Kidman by pinfall

Match 8

Matt Hardy vs Chris Benoit

Once again, no Kurt Angle as Benoit goes solo against V1. Once again Benoit countered the Twist of Fate with the Crippler Crossface to win the match.

Winner: Benoit by submission

Match 9

Los Guerreros (Chavo and Eddie) vs Edge and Rey Mysterio Jr

The main event remains the same with Los Guerreros taking on Edge and Mysterio. Edge won the match by hitting the spear on Chavo.

Winners: Edge and Mysterio by pinfall

This sounds like a great show and too bad house shows weren't televised or recorded at the time. Lesnar vs Big Show was being groomed for the Smackdown main event for Survivor Series and the OVW guys were about to be brought up at some point or another. The next show is tonight's Monday Night Raw. Can this one not suck for once? Let's find out, I'll see you there.

WWE at Stabler Arena (11/3/02)

Stabler Arena

Bethlehem, PA

November 3, 2002

While the stars of Raw were galivanting around Canada, the stars of Smackdown were booked on a tour of Pennsylvania. On television, Smackdown was number one in the world with incredible talent and great matches going on every week. The house shows may not have been drawing very well but the action must have been great. Let's see what this one had to offer.

Match 1

Albert vs Rikishi in a Kiss My Ass match

Poor Albert. He had been booked in these kind of matches with Rikishi for months and ended up taking the stink face every time. Rikishi once admitted in a shoot interview that he had two separate pairs of tights. One he'd wear against guys he was friends with or just happened to be working with that he'd wash out of respect, and a different pair he'd reserve for someone he didn't like or Vince wanted punished. I'm hoping Albert got the washed ones because Rikishi won the match with a superkick and gave him the stinkface after.

Winner: Rikishi by pinfall.

Match 2

Sean O'Haire and Shelton Benjamin vs Bull Buchanan and Doug Basham

Its an OVW showcase match as top prospects Shelton Benjamin and Doug Basham were paired with WCW veteran Sean O'Haire and WWE vet Buchanan in a rematch from yesterday's show. This time Basham and Buchanan takes it when Basham pinned Benjamin.

Winners: Basham & Buchanan by pinfall

Match 3

Val Venis vs Nathan Jones

Another rematch from yesterday with the 6'11 behemoth taking on the veteran Val Venis. Nathan won it with a full nelson slam.

Winner: Jones by pinfall

Match 4

Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson vs John Cena and Dawn Marie

Real life husband and wife Kidman and Torrie once again face the team of Cena and Dawn. Knowing what's to come for Cena makes this even funnier. Luckily his performance on Halloween Smackdown had him destined for better things. Unfortunately for him, Kidman takes it with a shooting star press.

Winners: Kidman and Wilson by pinfall

Match 5

Big Show vs Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship

As mentioned yesterday, before the internet got advanced and smart phones were invented, WWE would have main event matches on the house show circuit as previews for their big ppv matches. The only ones who saw them were the people there live so they didn't have to worry about anything spoiled on TV. Lesnar retained the title with an inside cradle.

Winner: Lesnar by pinfall (still WWE Champion)

Match 6

D'Von Dudley and Ron Simmons vs Chuck Palumbo and Sho Funaki

Yet another rematch from yesterday where Smackdown was trying to establish a tag team of Simmons and Dudley against the makeshift team of Palumbo and Funaki. Why WWE didn't want Palumbo and O'Haire together like in WCW I'll never know. Unlike yesterday, D'Von got the pin on Funaki.

Winners: Dudley and Simmons by pinfall

Match 7

Crash Holly vs Tajiri vs Jamie Noble for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship in a 3 Way Dance

If you're not familiar with ECW. They had 3 way matches but elimination style known as 3 Way Dance. WWE incorporated triple threat matches in 1998 and this one is elimination style. Noble took Crash Holly out with a Tiger Bomb and hooked the tights on Tajiri on a pin attempt to keep his title.

Winner: Noble by pinfall

Match 8

Chris Benoit vs Matt Hardy

Kurt Angle had the night off apparently as one half of the tag champs, Benoit gets his hand on V1 Matt Hardy. Benoit countered the Twist of Fate with the crippler crossface to win the match.

Winner: Benoit by submission

Match 9

Los Guerreros (Eddie and Chavo) vs Edge and Rey Mysterio Jr

Just like yesterday, the main event would be arguably the best match of the night. Edge & Mysterio had developed good chemistry together and of course the Guerreros had been together since childhood. Mysterio got the duke when he took out Chavo with the West Coast Pop.

Winners: Edge and Mysterio by pinfall

Pretty much the same show from yesterday which was common on the house show circuit leading up to a ppv. Lesnar vs Big Show was clearly going to be the main event of Survivor Series (Smackdown side anyway) so they had them work together here to get the bugs out. Nathan Jones was going to be Smackdown's answer to Batista so they had him start out strong. All in all it was a solid card for a solid group that was putting on great shows together. The next show after this would be Sunday Night Heat so I'll see you there.

WWE Velocity (11/2/02)

Van Andel Arena

Grand Rapids, Michigan

November 2, 2002

Commentators: Mark Lloyd and Michael Cole

Its another edition of Velocity and there's a lot to do on Smackdown these days. Unfortunately this episode I found doesn't have the Smackdown recaps so we're just getting straight matches. Also unfortunately its almost the exact same guys from last week. But first....since this was taped on the same night as Smackdown, we have some dark matches.

Dark Match 1

Bull Buchanan vs Shelton Benjamin

This was a dark match that wasn't aired on Smackdown or Velocity. It was pretty much a tryout for the ultra athletic Benjamin to see what he could do. WWE definitely liked what they saw because they signed him to a contract not long after. He got the win over Buchanan.

Winner: Benjamin

Dark Match 2

Val Venis vs Ernest Miller

Ernest "The Cat" Miller made his WWE debut on a dark match on the last Sunday Night Heat and here he gets a second look against Val Venis. Unlike Shelton, Venis got the duke. Guess they felt Miller was already an established veteran and didn't need the rub.

Winner: Val Venis by pinfall

Now let's get to our first televised match.

Match 1

Reverend D'Von vs Chuck Palumbo

Palumbo gets bumrushed as soon as the bell starts and stomped on by D'Von.  Dudley pounds away on Palumbo as Michael Cole babbles on about Brock Lesnar with his partner joining in to talk about Big Show. Dudley taunts the crowd and rakes the face as Cole says Ron Simmons is behind the new aggression. Cole then talks about Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit as D'Von gets a nerve hold on Palumbo. The crowd chants "we want tables" as Palumbo powers out of it with fists. He drops D'Von with an elbow and a hiptoss before delivering shoulderblocks in the corner. D'Von counters with a knee to the face and a hotshot off the top turnbuckle. D'Von chokes Chuck on the second rope then locks in a chinlock. D'Von shouts "get up boy" but walks into an inside cradle for a deuce. D'Von pounds away on Chuck and delivers a sidewalk slam as the announcers babble on about Big Show again. D'Von goes up to the second rope but gets caught mid-air in a belly to belly suplex. Cole talks over Mark and continues to babble on about Brock Lesnar. Palumbo rallies with a series of clotheslines and a backdrop on D'Von. Chuck blocks a hiptoss and turns it into a flapjack. He covers for 1..2....nope. Palumbo decks D'Von with a right hand and sends him into the corner. A charge eats boot but Chuck still hits an overhead suplex. He covers for 1...2....nooooo. Palumbo goes for the superkick but D'Von catches the leg and hits a DDT. D'Von covers for 1...2....noooooo. D'Von admomishes the ref then sends Chuck off the ropes. Palumbo ducks the line and nails D'Von with the superkick. He covers for 1....2....3 to win the match. D'von took his eye off the ball for one second and Palumbo made him pay. Serviceable and safe match from both guys, it definitely didn't suck.

Time of match: 5:41

Winner: Palumbo by pinfall

We were supposed to get a recap from the last episode of Tough Enough but its cut out from this upload. Instead we get hype for the main event tag match featuring Crusierweight champion Jamie Noble teaming with Crash Holly against Billy Kidman and Funaki. Onto the next match.

Match 2

Chavo Guerrero Jr vs Tyson Dux

As mentioned on the Raw review, Dux was a Canadian local who was doing house shows and TV tapings. At least he gets his TV match here. Bell's gone and Tyson starts strutting around causing Michael to say "What is that kid doing?" hahahaha. Chavo tells Tyson to get out of the ring and Tyson does it again causing Mark to say "What the hell is this?"  Chavo starts with a scoop slam and tells Tyson to leave the ring. Tyson responds with a dropkick as Mark on commentary brings up Stephanie McMahon kissing Eric Bischoff on Smackdown.....which was never mentioned again. Tyson arm drags Chavo a few times and drops him with a heel kick. Chavo bails as Tyson dances around again. Michael says somebody needs to tell Tyson to take some Ritalin. Chavo takes over with strikes and a european uppercut. He kicks away at Tyson in the corner as referee Jimmy Korderas tells Chavo to get off. Chavo delivers a back suplex and covers for a deuce. Chavo continues to pound away on Dux when Tyson is sent into the corner. Chavo looks like he's going for shattered dreams and instead dropkicks Dux. He snapmares and covers for 1...2...nope. The announcers continue to make fun of Dux but Tyson catches him in a backslide for 1...2..nope. Cole continues to make heel comments which was out of place eight years before he was doing it to Daniel Bryan but Dux catches Chavo with a head scissors. Tyson drops Chavo with a clothesline and goes for a suplex but Chavo blocks it, Tyson settles for a reverse DDT instead. He covers for a deuce and Chavo begs off in the corner. Tyson goes for 10 punches in the corner but Chavo hotshots him off the top rope. Chavo hits a brainbuster and covers for 1..2....3 to win the match. Chavo wins but what's with the announcers heeling on the kid? Little bit out of place but oh well, Chavo gets the duke.

Time of match: 4:28

Winner: Chavo Guerrero Jr by pinfall

We go to highlights of the Rebellion tour over in Europe including the ppv. Ironically it would be the last Smackdown ppv ever held in the UK, the last Raw one would be in May. We get a graphic showing our main event as we go to commercial. Onto the next match.

Match 3

Albert vs Mark Bartolucci

If you don't remember, Bartolucci was a Canadian local brought in to make a few tapings to see what he could do. Before the match Albert gets on the mic and says he saw all the stares from the people. He says he knows what they were thinking "Albert, is he sexy or what?" Albert continues to put over his looks as the crowd chants "Shave your back". Albert "Jealousy will get you nowhere. Ladies, all this hair is 100% natural. All these men can't be getting the job done, ladies can run their hands through his man-fur". It definitely is working to draw heat. Bell's gone and Mark Lloyd says he feels sorry for Bartolucci. Albert levels Bartolucci with a clothesline then gorilla presses him off the top rope. Albert sends him off the ropes and Mark goes for a sunset flip, but Albert blocks it with a leg drop. He covers for a deuce then sends him into the corner. Mark gets the foot up but Albert blocks a crossbody and powerslams him in the other corner. Mark is in the tree of woe and Albert stomps away at him. The announcers start babbling on about Brock Lesnar and Big Show again as Albert continues to stomp away at Bartolucci in the corner. Albert invites the ladies into the ring then continues to punch at Mark. Mark tries to fight back with right hands and a dropkick. Bartolucci runs right into the bicycle kick and slingshots him into the second rope. Albert hits the Baldo Bomb and covers for 1....2....3...to win the match. Total squash by Albert although he'd be getting a new name soon. Not much to say apart from Albert is a mean looking fella.

Time of match: 2:42

Winner: Albert by pinfall

We're shown a graphic saying the main event is coming up next....yippie.

Match 4

Crash Holly and WWE Cruiserweight Champion Jamie Noble (with Nidia) vs Funaki and Billy Kidman

Finally some Cruiserweight action. Cole brings up the actually funny situation at the Halloween party where Noble and Nidia dressed as each other as Crash makes his entrance. Cole calls Crash "an absolute goof" and an "idiot". Cole must be in a bad mood tonight. Bell's gone and Kidman starts with Noble. Kidman eats a knee to the mid-section but head scissors Noble down. Kidman tags in Funaki and they double hiptoss & dropkick Noble. Crash gets in and gets double dropkicked as well. The announcers speculate who's coming to Raw with Big Show coming to Smackdown and the answer will be revealed on TV shortly. Both faces hit baseball slides on the heels before Funaki throws Noble inside. Noble begs off but catches Funaki with a boot. Noble kicks away at Funaki in the corner then backdrops Funaki on the apron. Funaki fights off Crash but Nidia pulls his ankles and he lands face first on the apron. The numbers game catches up to the faces as Crash and Nidia stomp on Funaki while the ref is busy inside. Crash throws Funaki inside and Crash tags in to land a forearm on the back of Funaki. Crash hits a delayed suplex on Funaki an covers for 1...2...nope. Crash gets a series of near falls on Funaki then forearms him in the back. Funaki fights back but Crash hits a drop toe hold before tagging Noble back in. Mark Lloyd keeps babbling about Stephanie and Eric Bischoff kissing and Cole tells him to shut up. Noble gets a chinlock on Funaki as Cole says Funaki had never wrestled in England before. Was he not on any European tour the last four years? Funaki catches Noble with a backslide for a deuce but Jamie hits a clothesline. Noble sends Funaki into his corner where Crash tags in and hits a dropkick to the back of the head. Crash covers for a deuce and tags in Noble. Cole says Crash is an idiot and a goof but is still the most prolific hardcore champion of all time. Funaki tries to fight back in the corner but Noble misses a charge. Funaki drives Noble down with a bulldog and Crash tags in, but Kidman gets the hot tag. Kidman goes to town on Crash and Noble then does a reverse neckbreaker to Crash while holding Noble for a ddt. He covers Crash for 1...2....nope. Crash hits a tornado bulldog on Kidman and covers but Funaki pulls Crash off.  Funaki throws Noble outside and hits a plancha but the ref turns his back on the ring. Nidia goes upstairs but Kidman moves, Nidia hitting Crash with a crossbody. Funaki pulls Nidia out as Kidman hits a sitdown powerbomb on Crash. Kidman covers for 1...2....nooooo. Kidman and Funaki hit a double dropkick inside the ring but Noble pulls Funaki out. Kidman hits an enziguiri on Crash and pulls him to the corner. Kidman hits the 7 Year Itch and covers for 1...2...3 to win the match. Kidman and Funaki celebrate after the match as Nidia and Noble are irate outside. Cole goes to the replay of Kidman hitting the 7 Year Itch. That was a damn good match for what it was, its too bad they only got a little over 6 minutes.

Time of match: 6:39

Winners: Kidman and Funaki by pinfall

Its a shame C shows were only designed to get the A & B shows over because they could have had a chance to do something special, featuring guys in OVW and what not. Unfortunately the NXT as we know it wouldn't be around for another 10 years. Still, the Chavo match was entertaining and the tag match was great. Smackdown was the place to be at the time and even though these were the mid-carders, it was still better than most of what Raw was doing. Tomorrow the stars of Raw were in New Brunswick, Canada while the stars of Smackdown would be in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Also tomorrow night is Sunday Night Heat. I'll see you in New Brunswick.

WWE at Sheffield Arena (10/27/02)

Sheffield Arena

Sheffield, England

October 27, 2002

With the stars of Raw in Toledo, Ohio for a house show and American audiences catching Sunday Night Heat.....in Sheffield, England the starts of Smackdown were continuing their European tour. The feuds from Smackdown recently carried over to the European tour highlighted by the Rebellion ppv the night before. Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman defeated Edge last night and this night Brock teams with Matt Hardy against Booker T and Rikishi. Booker was on loan from Raw to face Matt in one on one matches but tonight its a tag match. Edge would be teaming with Rey Mysterio Jr to take on the tag champs Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit in a rematch from No Mercy. Tajiri gets another shot at Jamie Noble's cruiserweight title and we got another god awful Bra & Panties match with Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson. Let's get to the action.

Match 1

Albert vs Funaki

Big man vs little man as the monster Albert takes on Funaki in the opening match. Somehow Funaki won with a roll-up.

Winner: Funaki by pinfall

Match 2

Ron Simmons, D'Von Dudley and Crash Holly vs Chuck Palumbo, Shannon Moore and Bill DeMott

Talk about just getting guys on the card. D'von and Simmons were tagging recently with D'Von starting to ditch the religious gimmick but the others had nothing in common. In fact, DeMott and Crash tagged together two nights earlier in Belfast. Palumbo's team won when DeMott rolled through a Crash crossbody and hooked the tights for the victory.

Winner: Palumbo, Moore and DeMott by pinfall

Match 3

Chavo Guerrero Jr vs Billy Kidman

Guess Eddie has the night off as Chavo faces Kidman in singles action. Kidman takes it with a bulldog.....what?

Winner: Kidman by pinfall

Match 4

Val Venis vs John Cena

As its been mentioned already in previous write-ups, what Cena did out of the ring turned out to be ten times more important than what he did in the ring, but I'll get to that in a second. Cena was still a generic heel but Val wasn't really doing anything noteworthy either. Venis was punching Cena in the corner who powerbombed him and put his feet on the ropes for the 3 count to win the match. Now I've already explained this but I'll do it again. On the bus during this tour, Cena was making everyone laugh with freestyle rapping. Stephanie McMahon thought it was so funny that she wanted him to do it on camera when they got back to the States. The rest is history.

Winner: Cena by pinfall

Match 5

Tajiri vs Jamie Noble for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship

Once again we got Tajiri gunning for the Cruiserweight title and once again Noble takes it by rolling him up and hooking the tights.

Winner: Noble by pinfall (still Cruiserweight champion)

Match 6

Edge and Rey Mysterio Jr vs Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit for the WWE Tag Team Championship

In a rematch of their incredible No Mercy showdown, Edge and Mysterio get another crack at the champs. Unfortunately Los Guerreros ruin the party as Eddie (who was there apparently) and Chavo bumrush the ring. Rey was clocked with one of the tag belts and pinned by Benoit.

Winners: Benoit and Angle by pinfall (still WWE Tag Team Champions)

Match 7

Dawn Marie vs Torrie Wilson in a Bra & Panties match

Naturally after an exciting tag match featuring main eventers, we needed the classic cooldown match between two divas who can't really wrestle well. Bra & Panties matches were garbage as it is, but on a roster THIS stacked it was really egregious. You'd think with Raw having all the talent they did would loan someone like Jacqueline or Molly to Smackdown so the women's wrestling didn't totally suck. Torrie wins the match....yippie.

Winner: Torrie Wilson

Match 8

Booker T and Rikishi vs Matt Hardy and WWE Champion Brock Lesnar

Booker and Matt had been having singles matches on this European tour but for Sheffield they got Rikishi and Brock as partners. The Undertaker was originally advertised for this show so my guess is they scrapped Lesnar vs Taker and made this a tag match to keep Brock on the card. Rikishi won it by hitting Matt with the Rikishi driver.

Winners: Rikishi and Booker by pinfall

With the European tour coming to an end, at least something good came out of it. We got a damn good Rebellion ppv and the birth of the John Cena we know today. Smackdown was still far ahead of Raw in terms of great matches although the one dark spot was the god awful Divas matches on Smackdown. This card was damn good and its pretty much what we got at Rebellion with a few differences. As we return to the states, it'll be interesting to see how the Benoit and Angle story plays out with Los Guerreros lurking in the background. Tonight was also the night Sunday Night Heat aired in the US so I'll see you there.

WWE Velocity (10/26/02)

Pyramid Arena

Memphis, TN

Aired October 26, 2002

Commentators: Michael Cole & Tazz

This is going to be an interesting Velocity because later on tonight is the British pay-per-view Rebellion featuring the stars of Smackdown. This was shown an hour early for whatever reason. This was also taped before Smackdown despite not airing until this date. We got a main event of Nidia vs Torrie Wilson in a bikini match.....great. We also have Crash Holly vs Funaki, Albert vs Chuck Palumbo and a tag match with Reverand D-Von and Ron Simmons against Chase Sevens and Big Bully Douglas. Let's get to our dark matches first.

Dark Match 1

Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas vs Val Venis and Bill Demott

The future meets the past as Ohio Valley Wrestling stars Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin continue to get tryout matches, this one against the two veterans Venis and Demott. Shelton Benjamin was a track and wrestling star at the University of Minnesota and actually mentored Brock Lesnar when Lesnar joined the wrestling team. Benjamin and Lesnar were a tag team in OVW but Lesnar got the call first. They stuck Charlie with Shelton and they just clicked. Venis pinned Haas with the Money Shot but the good news was WWE brass liked what they saw from Shelton & Charlie.

Winners: Demott and Venis by pinfall

Dark Match 2

Jerry "The King" Lawler vs Redd Dogg

Another tryout match only with Redd Dogg. Dogg had worked the Kansas show the day before and here is taking on Jerry. Lawler won the match with his signature fist drop but WWE brass liked what they saw from Dogg, he'd be getting the call eventually.

Winner: Jerry Lawler

Now let's get to the show.

Match 1 (3rd overall)

Crash Holly vs Funaki

Ironically these two would be meeting at the Rebellion pay-per-view but this was obviously taped in advance. They lock up to start and Funaki starts with an arm-ringer but Crash reverses it. Funaki and Crash trade headlock takeovers and Funaki wants a handshake. Crash shakes it then stops everything to pull a Japanese headband out. He mocks Funaki with mock karate moves and Funaki punches him in the face. Funaki dropkicks Crash and chases him outside. Funaki beats him back into the ring then kicks Crash in the gut. Crash hits a stun gun on Funaki then ditches the headband. Crash slams Funaki but eats a sunset flip for a two. Crash nails Funaki through the ropes to the outside as Crash goes outside to retrieve him. Back inside Crash covers for a two then kicks Funaki in the back after applying a surf-board. Crash lands a forearm to the back but misses a charge in the corner. Funaki lands a bulldog then a drop toe hold. Funaki hits a dropkick to the face and covers for 1...2...nope. Funaki goes upstairs and hits a crossbody, but Crash rolls through for 1.....2..nope. Crash kicks away at the back of Funaki then blocks a victory roll for 1...2...., no Funaki rolls through into a victory roll for 1...2...3 that's it. Crash goes nuts in the ring as Funaki slides out the winner. Tazz says Funaki isn't just Smackdown's number one announcer but also has great skills. Good opener even if it was short.

Time of match: 4:19

Winner: Funaki by pinfall

Cole and Tazz hype up the bikini match as we go to commercial.

Match 2 (4th overall)

Albert vs Chuck Palumbo

Time for a hoss fight as Palumbo comes out with short hair now that Billy Gunn is on the shelf with a separated shoulder. As Albert makes his entrance, Cole and Tazz plug the Jackass movie coming out. Cole jokes he should dress as Albert for Halloween and Tazz says Albert eats meals bigger than Cole. They lock up to start and they roll into the corner. Palumbo ducks under a punch and unloads with right hands of his own. Albert whips him into a corner and hits two consecutive avalanches. Albert hits a big splash to the back, rolls him over and covers for 1. Albert clotheslines Palumbo and taunts the crowd. Palumbo rallies with right hands but Albert rams his head in the buckle and fights back with strikes. Albert manhandles Palumbo and chases referee Brian Hebner away. Tazz "While he shaves his back, he should shave his chest too." Albert slingshots Palumbo under the second rope and covers for 1.....2...nope. Albert locks in a chinlock as Cole asks Tazz about Brock Lesnar vs Undertaker in Hell in A Cell last Sunday. Who the hell told them to talk about THAT in the middle of the hoss fight? Cole says up next they'll be taking a look at Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle, that's better. Palumbo fights out of it with right hands then sends Albert into the corner. Albert counters with a bicycle kicks and covers for a deuce then drags Palumbo into the corner. Albert hits a Vader bomb and covers for 1..2...,Palumbo grabs the bottom rope. Albert misses a charge and Palumbo goes back to the right hands. Palumbo hits a belly to belly suplex and a superkick. He covers for 1.....2...nope, Albert grabs the rope this time. Palumbo fires away with right hands and goes for the Razor Punch but Albert pulls Hebner in the way. Hebner moves and Albert gets a thumb to the eye before hotshotting Palumbo off the top turnbuckle. Palumbo staggers into the Baldo Bomb and he covers for 1...2.....3 to win the match. That was a solid effort by Albert but holy crap does Palumbo know how to do anything else but punch? I know he can do better but that was terrible strategy. Still, not much you can expect out of a hoss fight but at least it was entertaining.

Time of match: 5:05

Winner: Albert by pinfall

Up next is the recap portion with highlight's of Smackdown. We get the love/hate relationship between Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle as in they love to hate each other. Cole and Tazz also hype up the Bikini Match later....yippie. We're shown highlights of the number 1 contender match for the tag straps where Edge & Mysterio defeated Los Guerreros in a damn good match to become the top contenders for Benoit & Angle. Speaking of which, we segue into them not getting along on Smackdown, fighting over the trophy and facing each other in the main event. After the highlights we go to commercial hyping up the Undertaker/Lesnar confrontation and the damn bikini conest. Back from commercial we get a 90 second video package of the post Hell In a Cell video between Taker and Lesnar, so much for the Smackdown confrontation. What was the point of that? Onto the next match.

Match 3 (5th overall)

Reverand D-Von and Ron Simmons vs Chase Stevens and "Big" Bully Douglas

No idea why Faarooq went back to being Ron Simmons for no rhyme or reason but that's okay. Who are the job guys? "The Natural" Chase Stevens was trained by Tracy Smothers after being a former Golden Gloves boxing champion. He made his TNA debut earlier this year and now he's on WWE television. Bully Douglas was a local guy who was 6'6 300. Simmons starts with Bully as Tazz reminisces of the APA with Bradshaw. Cole calls Douglas a "Will Sasso lookalike" and Simmons stuns him with a shoulderblock. Douglas walks into a big boot but counters with a jawbreaker. Stevens tags in with right hands but misses a dropkick. Simmons goes for the Dominator but Stevens slides out into forearms to the back. Simmons kicks him in the ribs and tags in D'Von. D'Von continues the onslaught with right hands in the corner as referee Jimmy Korderas tells him to get out of the corner. D'von chops Stevens in the corner and delivers a back elbow smash. D'Von knocks Douglas off the apron and tags in Simmons. Ron slams Stevens and delivers a falling headbutt. He covers but stops the count himself at two twice. D'von tags in and knocks Douglas off again before slapping Stevens. Stevens tries to rallies with right hands and a crossbody for 1...2...nope. D'Von damn near takes Chase's head off with a lariat and hits a powerslam. D'Von tags in Simmons who covers for 1...2..he stops it again. Simmons hits a spinebuster and tags in D'Von for the flying headbutt. Simmons nails Douglas as D'Von covers for 1..2....3 that's it. Total squash by D'Von and Simmons and these two did work together well, but something was missing clearly. D'Von delivers last rites as Simmons stomps the poor guy for good measure.

Time of match: 4:04

Winners: D'Von and Simmons

As we got to commercial we get another hype clip for the Bikini match. We come back to a Smackdown Your Vote ad highlighted by Chuck Palumbo saying "vote to end discrimination". We are then shown highlights of Smackdown of Big Show being traded there although no one knows who went to Raw in return. Then we get the Undertaker/Brock confrontation where Lesnar and Taker basically respect each other. We go to commercial with one last hype video for Nidia vs Torrie Wilson. When we come back from commercial we get highlights of the latest Tough Enough where "Jill" quit the first day. I know its just a reality show but good lord what a waste of time. FINALLY let's get to the main event.

Match 4 (6th overall)

Torrie Wilson vs Nidia in a Bikini Match

So this is not a bikini contest, only that they're going to wrestle in bikinis. The Divas era was notorious for this kind of stuff. Nidia has on a polka dot bikini but Torrie has a golden one. Nidia starts with an arm-ringer before switching to a headlock takwndown. Torrie counters with a headscissors and Nidia slaps her. Torrie slingshots Nidia into the ringpost then rolls her up for a two count. Torrie cradles Nidia for a two count then clotheslines Nidia down twice. Torrie hits an inverted neckbreaker but Nidia gets the upperhand with knees to the ribs. Nidia hits a snap suplex and covers for a two count. Nidia whips Torrie into the corner and hits a shoulderblock before snapmaring Torrie down. Nidia stomps between the legs but Torrie drop toe holds to the bottom rope. Torrie slaps her but runs into a lariat. Nidia covers for 1....2...nope. Nidia gets kicked in the head and chopped by Torrie before Wilson kicks her in the corner. Nidia whips Torrie into the other corner but Torrie rolls over Nidia and rolling prawns her for 1..2.....3 that's it. Torrie wins it as Cole & Tazz sign off, telling us to join us for Smackdown this Thursday. Wasn't the worst match I've seen but definitely "divas" style. Torrie had only been in the business for 3 years and Nidia about a year, can't really judge too harsh for the inexperience.

Time of match: 3:03

Winner: Torrie Wilson by pinfall

Pretty standard Velocity which once again ends with a divas match hyped up all night shades of the debut episode. At least if if you watched this through to the end you got caught up on some of Smackdown's events. Brock Lesnar is still your WWE champ with Big Show hot on his trail and Benoit can't get along with Angle. As for the matches on this show, not much to whine about. Palumbo needs to do more than just punch but that's about it. Like I mentioned earlier, Rebellion was that night so I'll see you there.

WWE at Odyssey Arena (10/25/02)

Odyssey Arena

Belfast, Ireland

October 25, 2002

The stars of Raw were in Topeka, Kansas but the stars of Smackdown were still in Europe, stopping off in Belfast for this one. Literally went from Helsinki, Finland to Belfast, Ireland in one day. Vince McMahon was insane for that. But what was the card for this Irish extravaganza? With The Undertaker out, Edge stepped up to challenge Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship. In the complete opposite in terms of awesome, Dawn Marie faced Torrie Wilson in a Bra & Panties match. We got a cruiserweight tag team match with the champion Jamie Noble teaming with Tajiri to face the high flying Rey Mysterio Jr and Billy Kidman. Sho Funaki teams with Shannon Moore to face Crash Holly and Bill Demott. Booker T comes in from Raw to face Matt Hardy in a Raw vs Smackdown match. John Cena teams with Albert to face Val Venis and Chuck Palumbo. Rikishi also faces D'Von Dudley who's got Ron Simmons in his corner, but wait! Rikishi has hometown hero Fit Finlay from WCW in his corner. Finally Los Guerreros get a WWE Tag Title shot against Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle. Lot of talent on this card, let's get to it.

Match 1

WWE Cruiserweight Champion Jamie Noble and Tajiri vs Rey Mysterio Jr and Billy Kidman

Kind of an odd pairing as Tajiri had turned face but with competition in the Cruiserweight division at an all-time high, Tajiri alligns himself with Noble to face some of the greatest cruiserweights in history Kidman and Mysterio. Mysterio got the pin on Noble to establish himself as a serious threat to Noble's title.

Winners: Kidman and Mysterio by pinfall

Match 2

Funaki and Shannon Moore vs Crash Holly and Bill Demott

Another odd pairing because Holly and Demott have nothing to do with each other.....and neither does Funaki and Moore. Guess they were pairing all these teams together to get everyone on the card. Moore rolled up Crash for the victory.

Winners: Funaki and Moore by pinfall

Match 3

Matt Hardy vs Booker T

Its Raw vs Smackdown as Booker comes in to Ireland to face V1. Booker takes it with an axe-kick.

Winner: Booker T by pinfall

Match 4

Val Venis and Chuck Palumbo vs John Cena and Albert

This was supposed to be Billy Gunn and Chuck but Billy was out with an injury. Val Venis took his place against the makeshift team of Cena and Albert. This was still generic heel Cena although this European trip changed his career, which I'll get to in a second. Cena thwarted the Money Shot and Venis walked into the Baldo Bomb to give the heels the victory. Now the story goes, Cena was making everyone laugh on the bus during this European tour by freestyle rapping and Stephanie McMahon wanted him to do it on camera when they got home. Thus, the Doctor of Thuganomics was born.

Winners: Cena and Albert by pinfall

Match 5

D'Von Dudley (with Ron Simmons) vs Rikishi (with Fit Finlay)

Rikishi felt he needed backup against D'Von and Ron and turned to Irish legend Fit Finlay. Fit at this point was 44 years old but was still active as a trainer. Rikishi defeated D'Von with his Rikishi Driver.

Winner: Rikishi by pinfall

Match 6

Los Guerreros (Eddie and Chavo Jr) vs Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle for the WWE Tag Team Championship

The Guerreros have been lurking in the shadows during this whole Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle feud just looking for their moment to strike against the two men who hate each others guts. Still, even though they are rivals, Benoit and Angle are deadly as a team. Eddie had the El Paso Lasso on Kurt and he reversed it into the Ankle Lock for the submission victory.

Winners: Benoit and Angle by submission (still Tag Team Champions)

Match 7

Dawn Marie vs Torrie Wilson in a Bra & Panties Match

From the cream to the crap as we go from some of the best wrestlers in history to two of the worst, which isn't even their fault Because Dawn and Torrie were better valets than wrestlers, they had to work matches like this to cover up their inefficiencies in the ring. Torrie Wilson was the winner as she stripped Dawn to win the match.

Winner: Torrie Wilson

Match 8

Edge vs Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman) for the WWE Championship

This was supposed to be The Undertaker taking on Brock but with him out in the storyline injured (real reason was he was out on paternity leave), Edge takes his place in Ireland. Edge gave it his best shot but Brock won with the F5. These guys would have a rematch tomorrow night at Rebellion.

Winner: Lesnar by pinfall (Still WWE Champion)

Smackdown might have had some dumb storylines like Al Wilson/Dawn Marie but there was no denying the in-ring action was second to none. Between the cruiserweights, the tag team division and Lesnar in the main events, Smackdown was definitely number 1 at this point. Like I said, this would have been an ordinary European tour if it wasn't for the birth of the John Cena we know today. The Doctor would be on TV soon enough and eventually Fit Finlay would put the tights back on as well. For now, the crew heads to merry old London for the Rebellion PPV tomorrow night. However, that wouldn't be the only show tomorrow night as the stars of Raw would be in Wichita, Kansas at the Wichita Coliseum for a house show. Also tomorrow night would be Velocity, I'll see y'all in Wichita tomorrow.

WWE at Hartwall Arena (10/24/02)

Hartwall Arena

Helsinki, Finland

October 24, 2002

With the WWE just two days away from Rebellion, the stars of Smackdown ventured to Helsinki, Finland for a special house show. We got a stacked card with a main event of WWE Champion Brock Lesnar taking on Booker T on loan from Raw. We also got the WWE Tag Team Championship on the line as Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle take on Edge and Rey Mysterio Jr and Cruiserweight champion Jamie Noble puts the strap on the line against Tajiri. Los Guerreros are scheduled to take on Billy and Chuck and we have other prelim matches. Let's get to the action.

Match 1

John Cena vs Billy Kidman

Here's a paradox......Smackdown was airing in the United States on this night although it was taped on Tuesday. Cena faced Kidman on that night and he faces him here as well. Apparently Kidman took it with the shooting star press. Tune in to Smackdown to see how things played out in the United States.

Winner: Kidman by pinfall

Match 2

Funaki and Shannon Moore vs Albert and Crash Holly

Talk about a motley mix of guys. Shannon Moore was finally getting his due on Smackdown and he and Funaki make a good high flying team. Funaki got the win for his team with an inside cradle on Crash.

Winners: Funaki and Moore by pinfall

Match 3

Reverend D'Von (with Ron Simmons) vs Bill Demott

D'Von had been slowly going away from the evil preacher gimmick and had been teaming with Ron recently. Taking on the grumpy Demott does sound like an interesting matchup. D'Von got the win in this one.

Winner: Dudley by pinfall

Match 4

Tajiri vs Jamie Noble for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship

Noble puts the title on the line against Tajiri and pins him to retain the title.

Winner: Noble by pinfall (still Cruiserweight Champion)

Match 5

Booker T vs Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship

Originally this was going to be The Undertaker taking on Lesnar in a rematch from No Mercy but Taker had been written off TV after an attack from Big Show. Taking his place was the electrifying Booker T from Raw. Ironically this Saturday it was supposed to be Taker vs Lesnar in London but Taker would have to be replaced then as well. Lesnar got the win to keep the title.

Winner: Lesnar by pinfall (still WWE Champion)

Match 6

Los Guerreros (Eddie and Chavo) vs Chuck Palumbo and Val Venis

If you're wondering why the hell Palumbo would team with Val, this was advertised as Billy & Chuck but Billy Gunn hurt his shoulder and would be out a while. They stuck Val in this as a replacement and he submitted to The Lasso From El Paso to give the victory to the Guerreros.

Winners: Eddie and Chavo by submission

Match 7

Matt Hardy vs Rikishi in a Kiss My Ass match

For some reason, they decided to have a Kiss My Ass match in Finland which I doubt was a common occurrence over there. Naturally Rikishi won and hit Hardy with the stinkface after.

Winner: Rikishi by pinfall

Match 8

Dawn Marie vs Torrie Wilson in a Bra & Panties match

These two had been feuding over the ridiculous Al Wilson storyline and because of their lack of wrestling ability, they're going to try to strip each other in this match. Naturally Torrie Wilson wins it.

Winner: Torrie Wilson

Match 9

Edge and Rey Mysterio Jr vs Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit for the WWE Tag Team Championship

Our main event is pretty much a rematch from No Mercy which nobody is going to complain about because that was one of the best matches of the year. At the end of the match, Angle waffled Mysterio Jr with one of the title belts allowing Benoit to pick up the pin. Angle and Benoit hate each other but they're still a devastating tag team when they're on the same page. Edge and Mysterio chase off the champs to send the fans home happy at least.

Winners: Angle and Benoit by pinfall (still Tag Team Champions)

That was a star studded show for sure to show the fans in Finland. A lot of the feuds on Smackdown were front and center although not having Taker on the card was a bit of a let down. Still, Booker T vs Brock would have been fun to watch. Smackdown couldn't miss at this time and it sounds like a good show from top to bottom....sans the Torrie/Dawn match. Next up on the timeline is tonight's Smackdown even though it was taped. I'll see you there.

WWE Velocity (10/19/02)

WWE Velocity

Air Canada Centre

Toronto, Canada

October 19, 2002

Announcers: Michael Cole and Mark "Dorkus Malorkus" Lloyd

Ring Announcer: Justin Roberts

We are one day away from WWE No Mercy but we still have some unfinished business left. Not that the matches on Velocity have any impact on the pay-per-view but there's always the recaps.....or not. Nobody has the recaps so we're just going to have straight matches on this write-up unless someone else can find them. Let's get to our first match.

Match 1

Funaki vs Tajiri

The battle for Japan as SMACKDOWN NUMBA WUN ANNOUNCA Funaki takes on his buddy Tajiri. We get a highlight of Tajiri getting beat up by Jamie Noble and Nidia for....reasons. Funaki with a mic cuts a promo on the ramp saying if Tajiri wants people to like him like they like Funaki, don't make ugly faces. He should smile like Funaki does...hahahaha. Cole says Tajiri is not happy after what happened on Smackdown and once again, I find it funny how they're talking about Smackdown in the past tense while this match was recorded before it. Funaki wants a handshake to start and Tajiri goes for it...before kicking Funaki in the side of the leg. Tajiri kicks Funaki again but Sho ducks under the buzzsaw and hits a dropkick. Funaki hits an armdrag and explains the Noble/Nidia drama. Funaki does a spring board armdrag before hitting a standard armdrag. Funaki walks right into a savate kick while Cole babbles on about Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit and their match at No Mercy with Edge and Mysterio. Again, I know its Vince in their ear telling them to talk about Smackdown but its annoying when the action in the ring gets hot. Tajiri yells at the crowd and delivers a scoop slam. Tajiri screams as he drops a knee as the crowd chants for Funaki. Tajiri locks in a surfboard crab but Funaki rolls on top for a two count. Tajiri sends Funaki off and Sho goes for a sunset flip. Tajiri trudges to the ropes, rolls out of the ring and belts Funaki with a forearm. Cole babbles on about Stephanie McMahon now as some guy in the crowd asks "Where's Mr. Fuji!" Tajiri goes to the chinlock as the announcers start going on about Brock Lesnar and The Undertaker. Funaki hits a victory roll for a two count but Tajiri rolls out of a back suplex and hits an atomic drop. Tajiri misses the second rope moonsault and Funaki delivers a bulldog. Funaki covers for a two count but then runs into a tarantula. Funaki counters with a reverse powerbomb and covers for 1...2..nope. Funaki eats a springboard back elbow and Tajiri calls for the buzz kick. Tajiri swings and misses but ducks under Funaki's enziguiri. Tajiri blasts Funaki with the kick and covers for 1...2...3 to win the match. That felt like a Bloodsport finish at the end with the missed kick followed by landing it. Good crash style match and its a shame it couldn't have gone longer, they did the best they could.

Time of match: 3:53

Winner: Tajiri by pinfall

With no recaps on this recording, we go right to the next match.

Match 2

Albert vs Bobby Roode

Velocity mainstay Albert gets the young Roode here. Bobby comes out to the Drew Carey Royal Rumble theme from 2001. Lloyd "Brand new rookie here and his first match is against the bully." Cole "Hey Einstein, a rookie would be brand new." Albert shoves Roode down to start and Bobby gets up to shove him back. Cole says a good showing would get Roode a full time job here. Ha, he'd have to wait 14 years for that. Albert chops Roode then yells at the crowd. Lloyd calls Shannon Moore a rookie which is ludicrous since he'd been a 7 year vet and came over from WCW. Roode gets in a headlock but Albert bullies him into the corner. Albert lands a punch to the ribs but Roode punches back. Roode clubs away at Albert, rolls out of a scoop slam and kicks Albert in the leg. Albert runs over Roode with a shoulderblock but misses the knee drop. Roode kicks away at the leg but Albert counters with the backbreaker. Albert avalanches Roode into the corner and clubs away with forearms. Albert punches Roode down as Cole hopes Albert will beat up Lloyd. He says he and Albert go way back to college...problem is Cole graduated from Syracuse in 1988 and Albert graduated from Pittsburgh in 1996. Albert slingshots Roode throat first onto the second rope. Lloyd gets a dig at Cole saying Syracuse lost to Temple last week while Cole counters by saying "For Florida State fans like you, wide right!" This is a reference to a crucial college game in 1991 when Florida State missed a game winning field goal against undefeated Miami. Miami would go on to win the National Championship with none other than The Rock on that team. Albert covers for a deuce then locks in a nerve hold. Roode fights out of it and dropkicks Albert in the leg again. Roode runs right into a powerslam then Albert misses a second rope Vader Bomb. Albert charges in the corner but eats boot then Bobby hits a tornado DDT. Roode then goes up to the top rope but hits the missile dropkick. He covers for 1...2....nooo, Lloyd thought it was over. Roode ducks the line but runs right into the bicycle kick. Albert covers for 1..2....3 to win the match. Cole says Roode has a future but Albert is just too tough. Albert gets some more heat by hitting the Baldo Bomb after the bell. Albert chases referee Mike Chioda out of the ring as well. Albert then stalks Cole and Lloyd as Cole points at Lloyd...hahaha. Good game of cat and mouse by Albert and Roode but Albert gets the win.

Time of match: 4:39

Winner: Albert by pinfall

We go right to our main event.

Match 3

Shannon Moore vs Crash Holly

Lloyd says Crash lives next to a prison and has 13 animals at his house. Cole "More useless information from Mark Lloyd coming up next week on Velocity." Bell rings and Shannon wants a handshake to start. Crash slaps the hand away and shoves Moore away. Holly gets a shoulderblock in and screams at Shannon. Moore slaps him and and armdrags Crash. Shannon punches Crash and Crash runs to the outside. Shannon follows him and sends him back inside. Shannon hits a hurracarana and covers for a two. Holly blocks a head scissors in the corner and snaps Shannon off the top rope. Crash rams Shannon into the side of the ring and throws him inside. Crash covers for a deuce then does a knee drop to the back. Crash executes a vertical suplex and an inverted surfboard. Crash turns it into a cover for a two count then does a scoop slam. Crash taunts the crowd and stomps away at the back of Moore. Crash gets booted in the face and cradled for a two count. Holly sends Shannon into the corner but the charge eats boot. Another charge eats buckle but Crash gets elbowed in the face. Shannon hits a back elbow and a clothesline then does a spinning heel kick. Moore covers for 1...2...nope. Shannon hits an enziguiri on Crash and covers for another two count then gets a suplex blocked. Crash rolls through for a two count but Shannon sunset flips out of it for another two count. Shannon charges but is sent to the apron. Shannon trips up Crash and goes up to the top. Shannon hits the Halo and covers for 1....2..noooo. Shannon bitches to referee Mike Sparks then backs Holly into the corner. Crash blocks a monkey flip but gets kicked in the face. Shannon goes for a top rope sunset flip but Crash blocks it, then holds onto the ropes for 1...2....3 to win match. The cheating, scheming Crash wins the match and that was pretty good for crash style no pun intended. Crash gets his hand raised to end the show.

Time of match: 5:31

Winner: Holly by pinfall

Not bad for Velocity standards as we get to see a young Bobby Roode and two decent cruiserweight matches. Would have been interesting to see what was on the recaps but oh well, maybe down the road someone will have them. No Mercy is the next big show but there's one more piece of business before that. The Sunday Night Heat pre-show. I'll see you there.