WWE Velocity
Nationwide Arena
Columbus, OH
November 16, 2002
Commentators: Michael Cole and Mark "Dorkus Malorkus" Lloyd
Ring Announcer: Tony Chimel
Survivor Series is tomorrow night but we got another edition of Velocity to sit through first. The double edged sword is this particular recording doesn't have the recaps. Nobody has them so its going to be straight matches for this one. If anyone has the full show, let me know. Tonight we have Crash Holly vs Chuck Palumbo, Shannon Moore vs Albert and Funaki vs D'Von Dudley. Let's get to the action.
Match 1
Crash Holly vs Chuck Palumbo
Crash gets a pop for god knows what reason even though he's been working heel lately on Velocity. Crash falls into the ring during his entrance. Crash starts with the headlock at the bell and catches himself on the ropes. Crash tries an up and over but Chuck catches him and hits snake eyes in the corner. He whips Crash hard into the buckle but gets drop toe holded into the corner. Crash stomps away at Chuck. then says he's going to give Chuck the iron claw. He grabs Chuck in the stomach and Chuck looks at him funny. Chuck then drops him with a big forearm. Crash rallies with a snapmare and a dropkick to the neck, covering for 1...2..nope. Dorkus Malorkus then yaps about Brock Lesnar as Crash looks in a surfboard. Crash hots a forearm to the back and hits a scoop slam. Crash covers for a deuce and locks in a chinlock. Chuck powers out of it as Mark Lloyd has no idea who Baron Von Rashcke is. Crash jumps off the top rope but eats boot by Chuck. Palumno rallies with a right hand and belly to belly suplex. Chuck covers for 1..2...nope. Crash runs into an overhead belly to belly suplex, gets up and Palumbo hits him with the discuss punch. Chuck hits Real Crash Landing and covers for 1...2...3 to win the match. Kind of boring but that's what happens when you have big hoss against little technician.
Time of match: 4:52
Winner: Palumbo by pinfall
This would have been the recap portion but we don't have those here. We do get a graphic that Jamie Noble will appear later in the show. Back from break its on to the next match.
Match 2
Albert vs Shannon Moore
Another big hoss against a smaller dude match although Moore is a bit more flashy than Crash....in theory anyway. Cole says Shannon is outweighed by 150 pounds in this one. Bell rings as Shannon starts a "shave your back chant". Shannon starts with right hands to the gut and a kick as well. Albert backdrops Shannon and clotheslines him against the ropes. Albert gets kicked in the ribs on the way in but Shannon gets dropped with a shoulderblock. Albert gets two knees to the ribs and a clothesline. Albert slingshots Moore into the second rope. Albert covers for 1...2..no. Albert indian burns Shannon then goes to the blatant choke. Albert lands a headbutt as Cole says to come do that to Lloyd. Shannon goes to the second rope but Albert catches him midair and delivers a shoulder breaker. Cole asks what it would be like to french kiss Albert and Lloyd gets grossed out. Albert charges in the corner but eats ring post. Moore kicks him in the shoulder and drops Albert into the second buckle. Shannon does a second rope coup de gras but runs right into the bicycle kick. Albert hits the baldo bomb and covers for 1..2...3 to win the match. Not so much a squash but still Albert wins decisively. They really need to do something with him, especially on Smackdown. If they can make Big Show the biggest threat to Brock Lesnar in under a month after being a dud on Raw for a year, I'm sure they can make Albert into something as well.
Time of match: 3:22
Winner: Albert by pinfall
Without the recaps, we got Jamie Noble up next for a conference. Jamie and Nidia come out and Cole asks if Lloyd hits his woman on the ass. Lloyd says no....poor guy. Noble says the crowd is full of poor, pathetic people. They ain't got no respect for anyone. Nidia complains about the crowd calling them trash and says she's "...uh....uh....a lady!" Noble says he's Jamie Noble, cruiserweight champion. Nidia has no idea how long he's been champion so he says "a long time." Noble screams he's not going to lose to Kidman at Survivor Series. Cole "WHY IS JAMIE NOBLE YELLING AT ME??" Cole "Maybe Nidia can buy a calculator with the Survivor Series paycheck." Ha! Cole's been hilarious tonight, a rare W. Pointless segment other than to establish Nidia is stupid, cool I guess? Again, without the recaps, its on to the main event.
Match 3
D'Von Dudley vs Funaki
This steps from last week when Funaki pinned D'Von in a tag team match. Tony Chimel just calls him "D'von" so apart from the theme song, he's kind of ditched the Reverend gimmick. Cole "Funaki doesn't have a microphone in his hand! What is wrong with the world??" Ha! Bell rings and Funaki runs into a knee to the ribs. D'Von nearly takes Funaki's head off with a clothesline. D'Von hits a vertical suplex and covers for two as Cole calls Paul Heyman a scumbag. Fuanki ducks the line, dropkicks D'Von and hits an armdrag. Funaki hits a dropkick to the face but is sent into the corner. A charge by D'Von eats boot and Funaki jumps off the second rope into a clothesline. Dudley scoop slams Funaki and drops the big elbow before covering for a deuce. Funaki gets his eyes raked and Dudley taunts the irate crowd. D'Von gets the chinlock and tells some fan to shut up....or maybe he's talking to Cole and Lloyd babble on about Brock Lesnar. Funaki powers out of it and schoolboys D'Von for 1...2..nope. D'Von hits a powerslam and covers for 1.....2...no. D'Von goes up to the second rope but misses the splash when Funaki rolls out of the way. Funaki hits an enziguiri and a facebuster bulldog. Funaki covers for 1...2...nope. Funaki hits the ddt and covers for another two count. Funaki gets caught in the Saving Grace and D'Von covers for 1...2...3 to win the match. Not bad for crash style and D'Von does the testify signal....hasn't done THAT in a while.
Time of match: 4:20
Winner: D'Von by pinfall
We sign off here and we're on to Survivor Series. Big Show vs Brock Lesnar, Jamie Noble vs Billy Kidman, Edge & Rey vs Los Guerreros vs Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit are your Smackdown matches. Trish vs Victoria in a hardcore match, 3 Minute Warning and Rico against the Dudleys and Jeff Hardy in a table match and the elimination chamber match. The only thing left to do is catch the pre-show tomorrow night on Heat featuring a tag match. I'll see you there.
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