WWE Raw (5/27/02)

WWE Raw

Skyreach Centre

Edmonton, Alberta

May 27, 2002

Commentators: Jerry "The King" Lawler and Jim Ross

Ring Announcer: Lilian Garcia

We're done with Judgment Day and we're now on the road to the King of The Ring. Ric Flair's heel turn has him now doing the Vince McMahon role on Raw with Vince himself on Smackdown. Still, with the KoTR approaching, Raw is going to need some momentum to keep up with Smackdown. The Undertaker needs an opponent and a Hulk Hogan rematch seems unlikely. Let's see what happens. There were no dark matches so let's get to the action.

Chris Benoit's theme hits for the first time in damn near a year and sure enough, here he comes to a standing ovation. Apparently Benoit was on the cover of the Edmonton Journal that day. Ross says Chris Benoit is bigger than Wayne Gretzky to Edmonton wrestling fans....that's a bit of a stretch. The crowd is so loud that Benoit is choked up. He finally grabs a mic and says it feels good to be back. He says he was drafted to Smackdown but there was no way he was going to miss tonight in Edmonton. He says he's a few weeks away from being medically cleared and he's the best damn technical wrestler in the world today. Benoit says he's got a good reason for being here but he's interrupted by Intercontinental Champion "Latino Heat" Eddie Guerrero. Ross says Steve Austin was supposed to be here but hasn't arrived due to a family emergency. Guerrero says he missed Benoit but he missed his jealousy more. He claims Benoit's always been jealous of Eddie Guerrero and Eddie's the one with all the talent in the Radicalz. Eddie says he's the only one with Latino Heaattttttt. Lawler laughs and says "LATINO HEATTTT" thanks a lot Eddie. The crowd jeers Guerrero and Eddie says he's accomplished a lot since Chris has been gone. Ha, he only returned less than 2 months ago. Eddie says he's the IC champ and laid out Steve Austin. JR "From behind with a beer bottle!" Chris says yes, Eddie is the champion and that's a reality he can't change.....but RVD can." JR says its going to be a ladder match between RVD and Eddie later tonight. Benoit says tonight we'll find out if Eddie can have a better ladder match than him. Benoit says "it takes a real tough guy to hit someone from behind and run". JR agrees with Benoit's sarcasm as Eddie wants to hit Benoit now. Eddie squares up but Ric Flair's theme hits.

"Nature Boy" Ric Flair walks out to a chorus of boos. Ric "Well, well, well, Benoit can't you do anything civilized?" You'd think Flair would want to help his ex-Horseman. Flair accuses him of being a typical Canadian to start a fight. Flair asks if the fans wants to see Benoit vs Guerrero tonight and they cheer. He asks if they want to see Stone Cold here tonight and they cheer. Ric says "Too bad." Flair says JR revealed that Austin can't be here and Flair has a special welcoming party for Austin if he shows up. He's benched, but Benoit isn't. Flair says he's not going to let a Smackdown guy walk in here and go one on one with the Intercontinental Champion. Flair says unless he has a ticket, and he doesn't, get out of his ring. Eddie then says "Yeah, get out of MY ring." Benoit shoves Guerrero down as Flair shouts for security. Bet you didn't know you could get in the ring if you bought a ticket. Benoit stalks Guerrero around the ring as Lawler says to call the mounties. Benoit backs down Flair in the corner and leaves peacefully to a chorus of boos toward Flair. Security tells Benoit to get to steppin as JR says Austin will be here as we go to break.

Back from break we get out road schedule coning up. Tomorrow night WWE is in Calgary, Saturday night in Pensacola, Florida, Sunday night the Mississippi State Fair Coliseum in Jackson, Mississippi. One week from tonight they're in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and a week from tomorrow night they're in the Cox Convention Center in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. We're shown Benoit escorted out of the building during the break. On to our first match.

Match 1

William Regal and and Molly Holly vs Spike Dudley and Trish Stratus for the WWE European Championship and WWE Women's Championship.

Interesting concept here as both Regal and Trish's titles are on the line. We cut to a pre-match conference between Regal and Molly and Molly says this is the first time she's been in the ring with Spike since she broke up with him last year. She calls Spike a pervert for trying to go to second base with her and Regal calls Spike a "filthy, disgusting swine" (hahahahaha). Molly says she's too good for him and Regal says he'll take care of the "miserable little toe rack". They leave arm in arm....what a gentleman. Lawler "No wonder Spike has been in a bad mood." Ross "Molly left runners on base apparently." Lawler "How many runners were there?" Ross "I don't know." King "I'd like to slide into home with Trish". Good luck saying that today. Ross ignores King's last comment and goes over the title rules but Spike bumrushes Regal to start. Spike ducks the line and drops Regal with an elbow. Spike hits two dropkicks and goes up to the top rope. He hits what looks to be a whoopie cushion on Regal and covers for a one count. Spike punches Regal in the corner as Lawler keeps mentioning "second base." Ross "What the hell is second base anyway nowadays?" Oh Jim....you left a fastball right down the heart of the plate. Thankfully Lawler doesn't swing at it as Spike hits a bodypress on Regal for a two count.  Spike hits a head scissors and a cradle for 1...2...no. Regal tags in Molly who slaps Spike in the face as soon as she gets in. Ross says Molly might steal third base (hahahaha) so Spike makes the call to the bullpen, tagging in Trish. Stratus ducks the line and unloads on Molly with forearms. Trish kicks away in the corner and gets whipped into the other corner. Trish drops Molly with a clothesline before covering for a deuce. Trish hits the Chick Kick and covers for 1...2...no. Trish chops Molly against the ropes as referee Mike Chioda is distracted by Spike. Molly whips Trish into Regal, who pulls her down by the hair. Spike is pulled back by Chioda so Regal knees Trish in the back. Molly covers for 1...2....no. Molly goes for the blatant choke and drops some elbows to the back. Molly also drags Trish down by the hand as Lawler says "Can you imagine someone that looks like Spike Dudley getting to third base with a girl?" Before King can answer, Trish hits a home run with a backslide for 1...2...3 to win the match. That was abrupt as Regal can't believe it. The home country hero gets the duke in a relatively quick match.

Time of match: 3:07

Winners: Trish and Spike by pinfall (Still Women's & European Champion)

After the match, Regal hands Molly the brass knuckles as Ross calls her a little wench. Regal knocks Spike outside and Molly belts Trish in the back of the head with the knux. Regal and Molly leave with some heel heat as they leave Trish laying. Ross complains about it as Lawler says Ross won't get to third base with that attitude. They go to the replay of Trish winning the match only to get waffled by Molly as we go to break.

Back from commercial we go to another replay of Regal handing Molly the knux as Lawler calls her a sore loser. Spike helped Trish to the back during the break and we cut to Terri Runnels interviewing WWE Hardcore Champion Steven Richards. Terri says Jazz is out with a knee injury and Steven says she's recovering well. Steven says they've become cute and cuddly and Jacqueline walks in to make fun of him. Jacqueline "She's cute and cuddly?? Give me a break." Steven calls her jealous and she wants him so she replies that he's half right. She boots him in the kneecap and waffles him with Terri's microphone. She covers Steven and referee Charles Robinson runs in for the 1...2...nooo, Shawn Stasiak pulls Jackie off. Shawn covers for 1...2.noooo, Big Bossman runs over and clobbers Stasiak with the nightstick. Bossman hits Richards with the nightstick too and covers but Shawn pulls him off. Bossman and Stasiak brawl out of camera view leaving Richards sprawled out next to Terri and Charles. Terri looks at Steven, then at Charles and covers Steven for the 1...2...3 to win the Hardcore Championship. Seconds later Richards rolls her up, including her dress for 1...2...3. Lawler yelps and even Ross says he wasn't looking at Terri's shoulders. The 24/7 gimmick may be stale but every now and then it does make for some funny bits.

Backstage X-Pac and Big Show shake hands as Booker T walks in and asks if Pac is ready for the big match coming up. Kevin Nash follows suit and says they better be ready. Nash says Big Show faces Bradshaw one on one, no run ins. Show say he's got this. Book and Pac will face the Hardy's, no run ins. Nash says you lose, you're out of the nWo and he'll kick their ass. Show laughs and Nash asks if he's got a problem. Show says Nash has to do what he's gotta do but Show's gotta do what he's gotta do. Booker says he's got a problem, he wants his old theme back because he doesn't like the nWo theme. "CAN YOU DIG IT SUCKAAAAAAA" Nash says if he wins "they'll do a remix SUCKAAAAAA" (hahahahahaha). Booker and Pac leave as Goldust is revealed to have been eavesdropping from the inside of a heated tub as we got to break.

Back from commercial, we cut to the outside of the arena where Jonathan Coachman is waiting for Steve Austin to arrive. On to the next match.

Match 2

The Hardy Boys (Matt & Jeff) vs the nWo (Booker T & X-Pac)

Its simple, lose and you're out of the nWo. Ross brings up the recent success the Hardy's have had against the nWo and they're four time tag champs. Matt starts with X-Pac at the bell and Pac gets an arm-drag to begin. Pac gets in a headlock but Hardy rolls through for a quick roll up. Hardy taunts that he was "this close" as Pac confers with Book. Pac rallies with a boot and right hands before hitting the three kick combo in the corner. Pac's charge in the corner eats boot and Matt hits the second rope leg drop. Booker gets in to break up the pinfall attempt then tags in legally, only to eat an arm drag. Jeff tags in for a double whisper in the wind, but the cover only gets two. Jeff hits the top rope and hits whisper in the wind a second time then covers for 1....2, no. Pac broke up the count and Jeff tags out to Matt. Matt charges but Book hits a stun gun off the top rope. Pac tags in and hits a spinning heel kick. He covers for two as Ross says Lita is healing from her broken neck. Hardy drops both men then tags in Jeff who flips into the ring. Jeff hits a dropkick to both dudes and a jawbreaker to Booker T. Jeff hits the legdrop between the legs of Pac as Matt gets in the ring. Jeff hits poetry in motion on both Booker and Pac in the corner. Booker hits Jeff with the axe kick when referee Nick Patrick tells Matt to get lost. Booker teases the spinaroonie but Pac tags himself in. Booker hits the scissors kick on Jeff and looks out at Matt on the floor. Pac hits the X-Factor on Jeff and covers for 1...2....3 to win the match. Booker looks annoyed that Pac stole the pin even though X-Pac was the legal man. Kind of a rushed match but it got the result it wanted, Booker and Pac remain in the nWo.

Time of match: 3:42

Winners: Pac and Booker by pinfall

Post-match Booker grabs a mic and says cut the music. Booker says he came here to give the people what they want to see, so hit his music. Booker's theme plays and Booker does the spinaroonie. Pac says whatever and shakes Booker's hand as Lawler says that was a big pop.

Paul Heyman heads toward the trainer's room but he's cut off by Tony Garea. He asks how Trish is doing and Garea says she'll be fine. He tells Tony he looks good as Tony leaves. Tony was a spry 55 at the time, the same as HHH in 2025. Heyman goes to enter but Bubba Ray Dudley cuts him off and starts throwing him around. Bubba says he's been waiting 8 years to do this. He tells Heyman to shut up and says to stay away from Trish. Secondly, he wants a piece of Brock Lesnar before throwing Heyman down. Ross says Brock vs Bubba is later as we got to break.

Back from commercial Tommy Dreamer is in the ring and Ross has no idea why. Dreamer says he's a normal guy and then notices some guy eating a hot dog in the front row. He goes outside and asks for a bite, spilling it on the floor. Dreamer then climbs the barricade and steps on the hot dog. He picks it up and offers it back to the dude who's horrified. Dreamer eats it anyway and the crowd cheers. Why Vince wanted Dreamer to be the second coming of Bastion Booger is anyone's guess. Dreamer gets back in the ring and says he's just an average guy. Uh oh....here comes WWE Champion The Undertaker. Taker gets in the ring and grabs a mic. Taker says he's the WWE Champion and Dreamer is on his time now. Taker tells him to hit the bricks before he kicks his ass. Lawler brings up Rob Van Dam's plight from last week. Dreamer goes to say something but Taker cuts him off saying he retired Hulk Hogan and beat Rob Van Dam easily last week. Taker calls him a sideshow circus freak and asks why he's taking up his time. "In other words, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" Dreamer says fine and goes to leave. Taker says hold up why don't they have a match right here, right now. Dreamer says he'd like a shot and Taker says he ain't gonna get one because he's not worthy. On a personal note, Dreamer was booked as a hardcore never say die babyface in ECW. THAT Tommy Dreamer wouldn't take Undertaker's crap at all. WWE Dreamer, on the other hand, just stands there as Taker says nobody is worthy of him or poses a challenge to him. Taker says he's got something for him since he's a nice guy and Dreamer is disgusting. Taker grabs his cup of tobacco spit and tells Dreamer to drink it. Dreamer says that's really gross as King says "That's worse than toilet water." Taker says drink it or eat through a tube the rest of his life. Dreamer does as Ross calls Taker a bully, then he says he likes it. Taker drops Dreamer with a right hand then beats him down in the corner. Taker sends Dreamer off the ropes and hits a chokeslam before heaving Tommy outside. Taker grabs a chair and wraps it around Dreamer's head before sending Tommy into the ring post. Fans still cheer Taker as Ross can't believe fans are still cheering. Taker says on the mic "THAT'S disgusting" before he leaves. Ross says sarcastically that's our champion we all look up to. That took way too long just to establish Taker as a mean looking fella.

We cut to the back with Heyman who's now with Brock Lesnar. Heyman says when he got manhandled by Bubba, Bubba was seeing Brock instead of himself. In Bubba's mind, he pulled his punk card and Bubba doesn't think Brock is man enough to do anything about it. Heyman asks if Brock will be manhandled and Brock coldly says no as we go to break.

Match 3

Bubba Ray Dudley vs Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman)

Brock has manhandled everyone he's been put in front of so far and Bubba would be his stiffest competition yet. Bubba gets right in and goes nose to nose with Brock before Lesnar shoves him away. They tie up to start and after Lesnar shoves him away, Bubba pops him right in the mouth. Bubba shouts to "come on" as Lesnar's expression shows he wasn't expecting that. Brock rallies with a boot to the ribs and forearms before shoulderblocking Bubba in the corner. Brock whips Bubba off the buckle who falls flat on his face. Heyman "HOW DOES THAT FEEL BUBBA?" Heyman tells Brock that Bubba was trying to punk him out. Bubba rallies with punches and chops to back Brock against the ropes. Bubba whips him off but Brock wisely slides outside to regroup with Heyman. Bubba in hot pursuit trades punches with Brock on the floor before sending him into the steel steps. Ross says Heyman should know what Bubba is capable of being an ECW alumni but King counters he was never the next big thing. Bubba chops Brock against the ropes as the crowd chants for tables. Bubba ducks a line and rallies with Dusty Punches followed by the bionic elbow. Bubba delivers a neckbreaker and covers for 1...2...no. Bubba catches Brock in a full nelson but Brock powers out of the Bubba Bomb attempt. Brock hits a very stiff forearm to the back you can hear a mile away to drop Bubba before executing a snap suplex. King asks how Ross could stand Heyman being his color guy for months and Ross says it wasn't easy. Brock locks in a bearhug as Heyman shouts "SQUEEZE!!!!" Bubba tries to fight out of it but fails the first time. Bubba then revives to break the grip, but runs into an overhead suplex. Brock covers for 1...2...no. Heyman "YOU COUNT TO THREE DAMMIT!" Bubba kicks Brock in the head and hits a released German suplex. Heyman shouts for Brock to get up as Bubba rallies with strikes before hitting a flapjack. Bubba hits him with a clothesline followed by a sidewalk slam. Bubba covers for 1...2....no. Bubba whips Brock into the corner, ducks the line and hits the Bubba Bomb. Heyman jumps up on the apron to distract the ref and Bubba chases him away. Ross "Heyman running like an old woman!" Bubba chases Heyman inside the ring and corners him. Brock goes to splash Bubba but crushes Heyman in the corner instead much to Lawler's delight. Bubba hits a german suplex and covers for 1...2....nooooo. The crowd chants "ECW" as Brock whips Bubba, who gets tripped up by Heyman outside.  That was just enough for Brock to scoop up Bubba and hit the F-5. Brock covers for 1...2....3....to win the match. Lesnar remains undefeated but that was a hell of a match. Bubba had Brock on the run for the first time in his WWE run and was big enough to push him around. Great story told as well as well as the obligatory ending.

Time of match: 5:50

Winner: Lesnar by pinfall

Before we go to break Ross says he'd like to see a rematch and we get a graphic for Rob Van Dam vs Eddie Guerrero for the IC title coming up later. Back from commercial Jonathan Coachman is with Raven who's just chilling outside. He asks Raven if he knows anything about Debra's family emergency and Raven says its not Debra's family, its Austin himself. Austin can't conceal his pain no longer and he sees a troubled, tortured, tormented soul in the mirror. Raven says this is Austin's destiny and Raven feels for him. Ironically Raven wasn't far off in real life but I'll get to that another time. On to the next match.

Match 4

Big Show vs Bradshaw

If Show loses, he's out of the nWo. Ross says this match isn't going to be pretty and I'm gonna have to agree. Bradshaw bumrushes Show right out the gate and drops him with a clip to the knee. Bradshaw immediately goes after the left leg which is the smart thing to do. Show gets to his feet and Bradshaw goes for a whip, but Show blocks it before clotheslining him down. Show floors Bradshaw with a headbutt and kicks away at him in the corner.  Show punches away in the corner and heaves Bradshaw across the ring. Show kicks away at Bradshaw in the corner as Ross says Raven needs couch time. Show continues to headbutt Bradshaw and scoop slams him. Show whips Bradshaw in the corner but a charge eats boot. They trade punches in the center of the ring before Bradshaw boots Show in the jaw.  Bradshaw hits the clothesline from hell but Show just bounces off the ropes, still on his feet. Bradshaw goes for a big boot but crotches himself on the top rope. He turns around right into a chokeslam by Big Show. Show covers for 1...2...3 to win the match. Short and sweet, which is a good thing. Raw was desperate for stars but having Show squash Bradshaw wasn't exactly what the doctor ordered....but then again, may as well build up Big Show again.

Time of match: 1:59

Winner: Big Show by pinfall

Before we go to break we get a vignette for Tough Enough 2, no need to talk about that. In the back, Booker T is mad that X-Pac stole his pin (I thought they shook hands after the match). Then Goldust walks in wearing nWo colors including black & white face paint. Pac "What the hell do you think you're doing man?"  Pac tells Goldust he's dissing the nWo wearing that outfit while Booker tries not to laugh. Booker says Goldust looks like a freaky deaky oreo cookie (ha!) and laughs. Pac says he's going to tell Nash what Goldust is doing then leaves. Booker calls him a stooge as Ross mocks Pac on commentary. 

We cut to The World with the four remaining Tough Enough 2 finalists with Al Snow. Kenny is going to arm wrestle Jake and Linda is going to arm wrestle Jackie. Jake defeats Kenny and Linda effortlessly defeats Jackie. Linda Miles might not have had the passion for wrestling but she was a hell of an athlete. Al Snow says this Thursday they're announcing the winners...yippie. We cut to Terri Runnels with Rob Van Dam. Rob congratulates her for winning the Hardcore championship as Terri says it was her 15 seconds of fame. She asks what he's feeling about the IC title ladder match and Rob says a ladder match is extremely dangerous, but worth it. Rob says he's going to climb the ladder of success and nobody gets as high as R...V...D.

Back from commercial a black pickup truck arrives to the arena (which is still daylight out even though we're approaching 11 at night in the East time zone) and Ross & Lawler say its Austin. Unfortunately for everyone, its just Howard Finkel who complains he got lost in Calgary and hitched a ride. Coach walks off disgusted as we head to the ring to our next match.

Match 5

Crash Holly vs Goldust

Ross says Austin will be here as Goldust enters in nWo colors. They circle to start and Goldust hits a few arm drags. Goldust gets a rake to the face followed by an uppercut. Crash catches Goldust with an inside cradle for 1....2....no. Crash rallies with a clothesline and a dropkick, but drops his head long enough for Goldust to hit another uppercut. Goldust goes for the Curtain Call and hits it. He covers for 1...2....3 to win the match. Jesus, another squash match and that was even worse than Show/Bradshaw. The match itself wasn't bad per se, just short.

Time of match: 1:01

Winner: Goldust by pinfall

After the match, the nWo theme hits and out comes Kevin Nash. Goldust slides out of the ring as Nash gets in. He sends Crash off the ropes and hits a big boot. Goldust says nWo 4 life as he leaves with Nash staring a hole in him. What the hell was that about?

We cut to Ric Flair in his office as Eddie Guerrero walks in. Eddie is afraid of Austin interfering and Flair says not to worry, he's got the welcoming committee in place. Eddie leaves and Flair laughs, gee...wonder who's waiting for Austin. Before we go to commercial we get a vignette for WWE's new show Velocity. Its funny how it advertises all the Smackdown guys like The Rock, Hulk Hogan, etc and we all know they'll never appear on it. Back from break its on to our main event.

Match 6

Rob Van Dam vs Eddie Guerrero for the WWE Intercontinental Championship in a Ladder Match

Lawler plugs King of The Ring coming up on June 23 as Guerrero makes his entrance. Guerrero trash talks Rob as the bell rings, the duo trading strikes in the middle of the ring. Rob gets a spinning wheel kick to send Eddie to the floor. Rob goes for the plancha but Guerrero throws him down in mid-air. Rob sends Guerrero into the ring post and on top of the barricade. Rob hits the legdrop to the back and punches away at Eddie. Eddie reverses a whip and Rob crashes into the ladder that doesn't go down. Eddie hits a snap suplex on the ringside mat and throws the ladder on top of Rob. Eddie closes the ladder on Rob and throws RVD inside the ring. Eddie hammers away in the corner and drops him with a back elbow smash. Lawler "Latino HEATTTT, say it Ross." The crowd chants Eddie Sucks as Guerrero wraps RVD's leg around the ring post as Lawler points out Rob can't climb a ladder with a bad leg. Guerrero wraps his leg around the post again then takes a steel chair to the right knee. Eddie hits a back suplex as Ross is shocked Eddie has dominated the match so far. Eddie stomps away in the corner but Rob counters with a rolling monkey flip. He didn't get much on it and Eddie hits a powerbomb for his troubles. Eddie goes outside and grabs another ladder and goes to put it in the ring but RVD dropkicks it in his face. Van Dam goes for the second rope moonsault to the floor but Eddie gets the ladder up to block it. All of a sudden Chris Benoit walks through the crowd and shows the security guard a ticket. We go to commercial with Benoit heading to the front row. Back from break Guerrero nails Rob in the face with the top of the ladder and rolls it inside. Eddie sets it up in the center of the ring and climbs, but RVD dropkicks the ladder out from under Guerrero. Rob hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on the ladder and a cartwheel moonsault following that. Rob dropkicks Eddie on the mat and sets up the ladder in the center of the ring. They both climb up together and Eddie hits a sunset flip bomb off the ladder much to the crowd's delight. Eddie climbs the ladder and infamously a fan gets in the ring, knocking Eddie off of it. Eddie tags the guy for real with a right hand as security and referee Earl Hebner tackle the guy out of the ring. Lawler says typical Canadian as Ross says "Too much Molson."  Lawler says Ross should get in there and get his lights punched out. Eddie goes back to the ladder and hits a hilo from off the top to Van Dam. Eddie goes outside and grabs a steel chair, bringing it inside. Eddie whacks Rob in the knee with it and sets it up in the corner. Naturally Rob sends Eddie into it and kicks away at him. Rob hits the Arabian Facebuster in the corner then puts the ladder on top of Eddie. RVD hits the split legged moonsault onto the ladder as Ross calls this an unbelievable match. Rob climbs the ladder but Eddie pulls him down and hits a snap suplex into the ladder. Eddie sets up the ladder in the corner and unloads in the other corner with right hands. Rob whips Eddie into the ladder and into the other corner. He goes for another monkey flip but Eddie blocks it. Van Dam goes for the top rope dropkick but Eddie moves. Rob monkey flips Guerrero into the ladder and puts it on top of him. Rob hits rolling thunder on the ladder before setting it up. Eddie dropkicks Rob in the shin and grabs the chair. Rob hits the Van Daminator and sets up the ladder in the corner. Rob goes for the 5 Star Frog Splash but falls off the top of the ladder. Eddie improvises by heading upstairs himself and Rob dropkicks him to the floor. Rob sets up the ladder, climbs it and retrieves the belt to become the new Intercontinental Champion in a hell of a match. It got a bit sloppy and the fan interfering was a bit of a damper, but that was one of the best matches on Raw all year by far. Hats off to both guys.

Time of match: 20:59

Winner: Rob Van Dam (new Intercontinental Champion)

The celebration is short lived as Guerrero bum rushes Rob after the bell, sending him to the floor. Steve Austin's music hits and sure enough, Austin himself sprints to the ring. Eddie runs for it but Austin catches him and stomps a mudhole in him in the corner. Ric Flair and Arn Anderson run in and both of them get walloped by Stone Cold. Austin drops all three with right hands and hits a backdrop on Flair. Austin kicks Anderson out of the ring as Benoit tears his shirt off and hops the guardrail. Benoit stands next to Austin and they stare down Eddie and Flair. Suddenly Benoit waffles Austin from behind and puts the boots to him as JR is completely confused. Benoit scoop slams Austin and Eddie Guerrero comes off the top with the frog splash. Where the hell did Van Dam go? Flair and Anderson laugh on the ramp as Lawler asks if this was a set up. Eddie and Chris put the boots to Austin as Benoit raises Eddie's arm in victory. JR asks what the hell is going on as we end the show.

Half of the show was good, the other half was rushed or pointless. Still, tonight was a landmark event although nobody knew it at the time. This was the last Raw appearance of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin for nearly 9 months. The backstory is Steve was frustrated with creative (which was definitely in a flux following the end of the Alliance debacle) including getting beat down by Chris Benoit for really no reason. Then over the weekend, in a production meeting it was written that Steve was going to job to Brock Lesnar on Raw in the first round of the King of The Ring tournament with no hype or warning. Steve said that was idiotic because that was a ticket selling ppv match. He countered that he'd put over Brock in the Finals to cement him as a star. The story goes creative was adamant Brock go through Test and Rob Van Dam, including a Rob vs Brock final. Austin offered one final solution that he face Brock in the semis before he faces Rob in the final. Once again creative refused and Austin simply went home, middle fingers in the air. Steve would fulfil his house show commitments but then that was it. A far from a fitting end to the most popular WWE star of the late 90's. The next show after this will be this Saturday when the stars of Smackdown venture to New Orleans. I'll see you there.

WWE Velocity (5/25/02)

 

Bancorp South Arena

Tupelo, MS

May 25, 2002

Its the debut episode of Velocity! With WWE Sunday Night heat being the B show for Raw, they launched Velocity to be the B show of Smackdown. Its pretty much the exact same format as WWF Metal, Shotgun & Jakked was with recaps centered around syndicated matches. Al Snow and Michael Cole are your commentary team for this inaugural episode. Tonight's main event is a.....bra & panties match.....yeah....for the Women's title between Trish Stratus & Stacy Keibler

Commentators: Al Snow & Michael Cole

Match 1

Jerry "The King" Lawler vs Albert

This was a dark match shown just to fill out the card for the show. This was never recorded but Lawler got the victory.

Winner: Jerry Lawler

Match 2

Shannon Moore vs Jamie Noble

This was another dark match to fill out the card and this was pretty much a tryout match for Shannon Moore. For those that don't know, Moore was a long time friend of The Hardy Boys and was 3 Count partners with The Hurricane in WCW. They were taking a look at him to see if he could go. Noble got the win but they must have liked what they saw from Shannon.

Winner: Noble

Match 3

Michael Shane vs Sonny Siaki

This was the third and final dark match and basically a try-out match for both guys. Michael Shane was Shawn Michaels' younger cousin and graduated from his wrestling school. Siaki was a WCW Power Plant graduate that left WCW because he didn't like how he was booked. Shane got the win 

Winner: Shane

Now that that's over, let's get to the actual show.

Match 4

Tajiri vs Billy Kidman

We're shown highlights of Tajiri covering up Torrie Wilson's bikini from the previous Smackdown and wouldn't you know who won the pony, Wilson's real life husband Kidman is his opponent. Kidman and Tajiri circle before they trade go-behinds and takedowns. Tajiri locks in a chinlock but Kidman rolls into an arm-bar. Tajiri then locks in a rare crab lock before Kidman rolls out of it. Tajiri reverses an arm-bar into another takedown followed by a chin-lock. He tells the crowd "Shadduppppp" as Kidman hits a jawbreaker. Kidman hits a snap-suplex and Tajiri sells it hilariously. Kidman locks in an arm-bar as Cole stirs the pot of asking what Tajiri thinks of Torrie dating Maven. Tajiri drops a knee and taunts the crowd before running into an arm-drag. Kidman hits a frankensteiner to send Tajiri bailing to the outside and Billy goes upstairs. Tajiri spots him and walks away but Kidman runs and hits him with a baseball slide. Al at the commentary table says "careful guys" as Kidman heaves Tajiri inside. Cole says a victory would be huge for these guys to get a Cruiserweight title shot. Kidman hits a springboard legdrop for a two count and rams his head into the buckle. Kidman walks right into a buzzsaw kick before Tajiri sends him into the ring post to the outside. We come back from commercial with Tajiri standing on Kidman on the bottom rope. Tajiri hits another buzzsaw kick outside then taunts the crowd again. Tajiri stomps away on Kidman and locks in a nerve hold. Kidman wpins out of it but eats three straight buzzsaw kicks before Tajiri yells at referee Mike Sparks. Tajiri works over the arm on the top rope but Kidman hits a crossbody for 1...2..nope. Another buzzsaw kick and a dropkick drops Kidman and Tajiri covers for 1..2....nope. Tajiri taunts the crowd again as Cole calls him a moron. Al takes offense to calling him a moron as Tajiri counters a backslide with an armbar before chopping Billy in the corner. Kidman whips Tajiri into the corner but gets caught in the tarantula. Kidman powers out of it and shoves Tajiri onto the apron but is snapped off the tope rope. Billy rolls out of the way of a springboard moonsault and fires away with right hands. Kidman lands a clothesline and covers for two but Tajiri nails a big DDT. Tajiri covers for 1....2...nope. Tajiri goes for a frankensteiner but Kidman powerbombs and covers for 1...2..nope. Tajiri hits a buzzsaw kick out of nowhere and covers for 1..2....nooooo. Tajiri kicks the arm of Kidman but Billy counters the springboard back elbow with a dropkick to the back. Tajiri locks in the tarantula as Torrie Wilson walks down the ramp causing Cole to cream his pants. Kidman rolls up Tajiri for two but Torrie grabs his leg with the ref not noticing. Kidman hits the face buster and covers for 1...2....3 and that's it. Damn good match even if the babyface needed the distraction to win. Torrie nods her head at Kidman and leaves as Tajiri is mad. 

Time of match: 11:16

Winner: Kidman by pinfall

When we come back from commercial we're shown the recent life and times of Kurt Angle. We're shown him getting his head shaved at Judgment Day by Edge and sporting a ridiculous wig on Smackdown. Maven comes out and tells Angle to just run with the baldness like he does. Kurt challenges him to take the wig off and Maven rushes him only for Edge to join in....until Christian stops him thus leading to the main event tag match between Edge & Maven against Christian and Angle. Maven pins Christian to win the match and Angle gets away with the wig intact....for now. Onto the next match.

Match 5

Hardcore Holly vs Val Venis

We follow up a damn good opener with a mid-card match right out of 1999 but at least there's some backstory. Stacy Keibler was flirting with Randy Orton so Vince McMahon, who was smitten with Stacy, had Orton punished by putting him with the rookie hating Holly. Holly and Lance Storm doubleteamed Orton and Venis made the save to set up this match. They lock up and Holly executes a waistlock takedown. Venis reverses and they exchange go-behinds. Holly eats a shoulderblock and a clothesline as Cole hypes up the Tough Enough 2 finale coming up. Holly boots and chops Val in the corner but Val springboards over Holly to deliver some chops of his own. Val hits a double underhook suplex but a cover only gets two. Val drops Hardcore with a back elbow smash and an elbow drop before punching away. Holly fires back with a belly to belly suplex and covers for a deuce. Holly sets up and hits the Holly Nad Kick then delivers a clothesline. Holly hits a vertical suplex and covers for 1...2...nope. Holly charges in the corner but eats elbow before clotheslining Val down anyway. Cole continues to babble on about Tough Enough as Val executes a powerslam. Val covers for a deuce and nails a shoulderblock. A graphic on the screen shows Tough Enough 3 is taking applicants as Val executes a backdrop. Val's fisherman suplex gets 1...2....nope. Holly walks into a Blue Thunder Driver but kicks out at two. Holly rolls up Val for two but eats a spinebuster. Val goes for The Money Shot but Holly rolls out of the way. Hardcore hits a dropkick right to the chin and covers for 1...2....3 that's it. Snow calls it the best dropkick in the business and its effective for sure.

Time of match: 4:24

Winner: Holly by pinfall

After the match we get another graphic for Trish vs Stacy and a hilarious commercial where Rob Van Dam shills 7-11 Cups with his likeness on it instead of The Rock's while wearing a singlet with jeans over it. We then get highlights of the main event scene where Hogan dropped the title to The Undertaker at Judgment Day. Then on Smackdown Hogan claims he's going to retire (HAHAHAHAHA!) and Vince McMahon says he can't do that because he owns him. Let that be a lesson to all bosses out there, if you don't want the old geyser working for your company to retire, you can simply deny him retirement. Anyway this causes Hogan to beat up Vince much to the crowd's delight until The Undertaker makes the save. Hogan rallies and sends Taker out of the ring then poses. Hogan reportedly behind the scenes wanted the belt again so let's see how this plays out on Smackdown moving forward. Back from commercial its time for the main event.

Match 6

Stacy Keibler vs Trish Stratus for the WWE Women's Championship in a Bra & Panties Match

To cover up Stacy's lack of wrestling ability, they had her in matches like these where the goal isn't to pin your opponent but to strip them. Stacy attacks Trish at the bell and stomps on her as Cole brings up how Vince stacked the deck against Trish by putting her in a match where her skills are negated. Stacy slams Trish on the title belt and rams her head into the buckle. Stacy chokes Trish with her boot and does a snapmare before trying to rip Trish's top off. Trish kicks her off, ducks under a clotheslines and unloads with forearms. Trish slaps Stacy and goes for Stratusfaction but Stacy counters by throwing her into the ropes. Stacy gets Trish's top off to expose a pink bra as the male fans cheer. Trish then rips Stacy's top off while Stacy is celebrating to expose a blue bra. Trish slugs away with forearms but walks into a spinning heel kick. Stacy goes to rip Trish's pants off but Trish victory rolls Stacy and rips her shorts off to win the match. Cole "Trish wins!" Snow "We all do! God bless Vince McMahon". Stacy goes to slap Trish after the bell but Trish ducks and hits the chick kick. Cole signs off happily with Stacy rolling around in her underwear. B & P matches were awful to begin with but they served their purpose....for the time period.

Time of match: 1:54

Winner: Trish (still WWE Women's champion)

Well that show started out great then fell off a cliff for the main event. Still, I'd chalk that up to a product of its time since matches like that were common. Still, Smackdown highlights and cold matches were what to expect and thankfully Smackdown was about to be the cream of the crop within a few months. As for this show, you got to know about the main plots of Smackdown with bald Kurt Angle and Hogan hot on The Undertaker's trail along with Holly as Vince's enforcer & Stacy as his current plaything. Tajiri vs Kidman was damn good, Val vs Holly was okay and the main event....yeah. Hopefully next week will have a better main event. As for now, its time to switch gears to the Raw side of thing because Sunday Night Heat is next. See you there.

WWE at DECC Arena (5/24/02)

DECC Arena

Duluth, MN

May 24, 2002

The stars of Raw made their way to Duluth, Minnesota for this special Friday night house show. We've been running the same matches on the circuit as last week so it doesn't look like there will be any change this week. Let's get to the action.

Match 1

Jacqueline vs Crash Holly

The same inter-gender match as last week with the same exact result. Jacqueline wins.

Winner: Jacqueline

Match 2

Tommy Dreamer vs WWE Hardcore Champion Steven Richards

The ECW alumni do battle again for the Hardcore championship. I always said they should have just changed the name of the "Hardcore" title to just the "ECW" title since Vince bought the rights to it from Paul Heyman. Richards takes it with the Stevie Kick.

Winner: Richards by pinfall (still Hardcore champion)

Match 3

Bubba Ray Dudley vs Brock Lesnar

They were building toward a TV match so they put these two together to get some chemistry. Lesnar got the duke.

Winner: Lesnar

Match 4

Matt Hardy vs X-Pac

Ironically Pac and the Hardy's were around 7 years earlier so to see them in 2002 is a bit surreal. Pac gets the win here.

Winner: X-Pac

Match 5

Bradshaw vs Booker T

The nWo's newest member takes on the big rough Bradshaw here. Bradshaw got the victory.

Winner: Bradshaw

Match 6

Justin Credible and Goldust vs Shawn Stasiak and D-Lo Brown

What the hell is this hodge podge? This is the kind of match to open the show with, not this far into it. Either way, D-Lo and Stasiak win.

Winners: D-Lo Brown & Shawn Stasiak

Match 7

Molly Holly vs Trish Stratus for the WWE Women's Championship

Molly vs Trish again since Jackie was busy in the opening match. Trish gets the victory to retain the title.

Winner: Trish Stratus (still Women's Champion)

Match 8

Spike Dudley vs William Regal for the WWE European Championship

This has been a feud for a while and once again Regal wins it to retain.

Winner: Regal (still European champion)

Match 9

Rob Van Dam vs Eddie Guerrero for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

The big feud going on at the time and delivered in the ring almost every single time. Guerrero takes the match to retain.

Winner: Guerrero (still IC Champion)

Another standard house show as we build past Judgment Day and on to King of The Ring. The lack of star power on Raw is a bit of an issue considering its the flag ship show and no Stone Cold on this one, at least in a match anyway. The next show after this is tomorrow's double shot in Canada. The stars of Raw will venture to Winnipeg, Manitoba while Smackdown heads to Saskatchewan. We'll be doing the Raw show first up in Winnipeg, I'll see you there.

WWE Smackdown (5/23/02)

WWE Smackdown

BankcorpSouth Center

Tupelo, MS

May 23, 2002

Commentators: Michael Cole & Tazz

Ring Announcer: Tony Chimel

Judgment Day was just days ago and we have a new WWE Champion in The Undertaker. The rumor is Hulk Hogan is going to retire so that may be the main focus tonight. Kurt Angle lost a hair vs hair match to Edge and people want to see what he looks like bald headed. HHH defeated Chris Jericho in the Hell in A Cell match and apparently Vince McMahon isn't too happy with Hunter (in storyline). We're on the road to King of The Ring so let's get started. We start of with a vignette recap of Judgment Day and Hulk Hogan claiming he's going to retire. We get right to our first match.

Match 1

Triple H vs Lance Storm

Cole during the intro says there's no way HHH is 100% after Hell In A Cell on Sunday. Storm on the mic wants to be serious for a minute and runs down HHH, calling him a barbaric, bloodthirsty animal. Hunter wastes no time and clotheslines him immediately before rallying with right hands and a running high knee. Hunter hits a short-armed clothesline but Storm hits a jawbreaker. Storm does a Savage Special, snapping Hunter off the top rope. Lance puts the boots to HHH and drops him with a right hand. HHH counters with a knee to the jaw and a blatant choke. Storm counters with a dropkick and rams his head into the buckle. Lance elbows HHH in the head and whips him off the corner. Lance stomps on HHH's head and chokes him with his boot on the first rope. Cole hypes up Hogan's retirement as Storm rallies with right hands another choke with his boot. HHH is busted wide open and Storm rallies with right hands on the floor. Storm covers for 1...2..no. Lance chokes HHH on the second rope and hits a slingshot clothesline, and its a good one, covering for 1...2...no. Storm goes after the open wound with right hands as Cole once again says Hogan is going to retire. That's gotta be Vince in his ear to ignore the ring like that. Storm misses a charge in the corner and HHH hits the reverse neckbreaker, followed by a spine buster. HHH covers for 1....2...no. Hunter sends Lance off the ropes but Lance ducks the line, superkicking him in the face. Storm locks in a half crab but Hunter makes it to the ropes. Lance hits a second superkick and goes up to the top rope. HHH shoves referee Mike Chioda into the rope to crotch Lance off of it. HHH hits the pedigree and covers for 1...2....3 to win the match. Damn good opener for 5 minute crash style and HHH had to cheat to beat Storm since he was still exhausted from HIAC. Good stuff by both guys.

Time of match: 5:50

Winner: HHH by pinfall

Christian is backstage with Kurt Angle but Angle's head isn't shown. Kurt has Christian touch his medals to show that he didn't get them without courage. Christian says the fans won't be chanting "You suck" they'll be chanting "You're bald." Naturally the crowd starts chanting it as Christian goes "Baldly...handsome...in a manly way...." before leaving. Christian and Angle never ceases to be funny. 

Back from break we get Test and Stacy Kiebler backstage. Stacy says Vince McMahon needs a favor from Test and he says he doesn't do the favors Stacy usually does. Stacy says Vince is jealous of Randy Orton and Stacy puts over how great Randy looks. Stacy says Vince wants Test to take him out and Test says sure, but he'll take care of Stacy first. He kisses her and she goes along with it. Guess we got Test/Orton later.

Here's Kurt Angle for a conference...and he's wearing a wig underneath amateur wrestling headgear. HA! Kurt goes on to say it was a miracle when he won a gold medal with a broken neck but growing his hair back was a bigger one. "Its amazing what hair supplements can do these days." Kurt says he grew his hair out just for kicks and says you won't see a bald headed loser crying in the middle of the ring. Then stops and says "Well there's always Hulk Hogan later tonight." Kurt says Edge's victory was a fluke and he won't be an object of ridicule. He's going to go use some hair mousse...but wait! Here comes Maven for some reason. Maven says there's no shame in being bald and says its not that bad. He says Kurt may even look better bald, just take the wig off. Maven says his fans won't make fun of him and fans want to see him in his natural state. Kurt "Excuse me? Do I know you? Do you work here or something? Oh, you're that guy who won a contract from MTV." Kurt says he's THE Kurt Angle and says if Maven wants the wig off so badly, come remove it yourself. Maven accepts the challenge and hits the ring...only he's cut off by Angle with an axehandle smash. Kurt puts the sneakers to Maven but Maven hits a dropkick. Maven damn near rips the wig off but Angle counters with a german suplex. Angle goes to leave but Edge hits the ring to try his luck. He almost has it off but Christian runs down to save Kurt. The heels leave with the wig still on as Edge and Maven laugh at them as we got to break.

One of the commercials is the 7-11 slurpee cup featuring WWE superstars. Rob Van Dam bullies some kid into using his cup before handing others out. Back from break Stacy Keibler is dancing on the announce table but the camera angle is in front of her. You failed, Kevin Dunn. Stacy plays with Tazz who tries to play it cool much to Michael Cole's dismay. Uh oh...here comes Test for the next match.

Match 2

Test vs Randy Orton

Cole says the new show Velocity's main event this Saturday night will be Bra & Panties for the Women's title Stacy Keibler vs Trish Stratus. That's one way to draw a crowd. Stacy joins Tazz and Cole for the commentary as Michael asks Stacy why she's smitten with Orton. She says what she does with her own time is her own business. Test wants a hand shake at the bell but then slaps Orton when he reaches for it. Test put the boots to Orton and rams Randy's head into the buckle. Test unloads on Orton with elbows and boots before heaving him over the top rope to the floor. Tazz says he must be motivated due to kissing Stacy and she's shown on camera smiling. Orton rallies with two dropkicks but eats a knee to the ribs. Test hits the pump handle slam and covers for 1...2..nope, Test pulled him up. Test punches away at Orton as Cole announces we got a tag team match later, Edge & Maven vs Christian and Kurt Angle...saw that one coming. Test goes for the big boot but Orton moves, causing Test to crotch himself. Test hops up and down and Orton drops him with two clotheslines. Orton hits a running forearm and goes for the top rope crossbody. Test cuts him off but Orton shoves him off anyway. Orton hits the cross body but Test rolls through, hooking the tights for 1...2....no. Orton slugs away at Test but Test goes for the pump handle slam. Orton rolls out of it and cradles up Test for 1...2...nope. Test sends Orton into the ring post but Orton rolls out of the way, cradling Test for 1...2...nope. Test goes for the full nelson slam but Orton turns it into a victory roll for 1...2...no. Test hits Cross Rhodes and covers for 1...2....3 to win the match. Stacy says her work here is done but Tazz doesn't want her too. "Cole, get outta here. Put Stacy over here" Hahaha! Serviceable match featuring the big man trying to intimidate the rookie with Orton using speed to outhustle. Orton is definitely the future, just needs the right gimmick.

Time of match: 3:31

Winner: Test by pinfall

Coming up later, Hulk Hogan's farewell address. Back from commercial we're sent to Mark "Dorkus Malorkus" Lloyd with WWE Champion The Undertaker. Lloyd says his title win has had serious rammifications. Taker cuts him off and says he told the world he would be the judge, jury and executioner of Hogan/Hulkamania and he was. He says he's the best in the world and alone at the top of the ladder. He says several superstars aspire to be the man and they have to look him in the eye and take the title from him, he doesn't think anyone can. Lloyd says on Raw, he lost the title to Rob Van Dam and Taker goes "Who??" We're shown the highlight from Raw where RVD hit rolling thunder and pinned Taker for the championship, only for Flair to reverse the decision and restart the match since Taker's foot was on the rope. Taker won with the match restarted and we're back with Lloyd. Taker "Your point is?" Yeah really...his foot was on the rope, match shouldn't have ended that way. Taker "The match....continued!" He says he's the champion if that's alright with Mark. He says he's here tonight to see the death of Hulkamania. Not too many people have multiple ppv wins over Hulk Hogan let alone for the WWE championship.

We cut to Rico admiring his Tag Team Championship belt when Billy & Chuck walk in. They ask what's going on and Rico says his victory was a fluke. He's champion by default and it kills him to wear the belt because it doesn't go with any of his clothes. Yeah, way to put over the prestige of the belt. Rico says he'll prove he's in favor of Billy & Chuck and they hug it out....with Billy & Chuck giving each other a look. They leave and Rico goes back to admiring the belt.

We cut to Chris Jericho who runs into Faarooq. Chris says he's just the guy he's looking for. Faarooq "Are you high? Or drunk? Or did you get hit in the head too many times at Hell In A Cell?" Jericho says he got the beating of his life on HIAC and he can see why Mick Foley retired after he was in it. He doesn't want to wrestle tonight and wants to buy Faarooq's protection. Jericho says name his price to take his place and Faarooq says to pay attention. He asks what that means and Mark Henry bumps into Jericho, HE'S his opponent. The crowd pops and Jericho visibly looks like his heart just sank. We got to break and when we come back, its time for the tag match.

Match 3

Edge & Maven vs Kurt Angle and Christian.

If you're gonna have a one night story filler match, not the worst to have Edge, Angle and Christian involved. Christian heads to the ring but backs off, waiting for Kurt. Hahaha nice touch. Cole spots Kurt and says "Look at this fool!" Kurt attacks Edge at the bell and stomps away at him. Edge hits a spinning heel kick and the Edgecution. Edge goes to take the wig off but Christian tags in. Christian stomps away at Edge but Edge slides under him, hitting a flapjack. Edge unloads with right hands on Christian, tagging in Maven. Maven gets kicked in the head but hits a spinning heel kick. From the back, Torrie Wilson and Trish Stratus are watching the match. Torrie was dating Maven (on screen) so it makes sense why she'd be watching, but why Trish? Maven runs into an overhead belly to belly suplex and Christian executes a side backbreaker. Christian covers for 1...2..no. Christian stomps on Maven and chops him in the corner. He taunts Edge for the ref distraction allowing Kurt to choke Maven. Kurt tags in and drops Maven with a right hand, taunting Edge in the process. He baits Edge into the ring and Maven hits a low blow with the ref not looking, hahahahahahaha! Perfect! Tazz and Cole are surprised as Kurt and Maven make the tags. Edge cleans house of Angle and drops Christian. Edge backdrops Christian and Angle then hits Edge-O-Matic on Christian. Edge covers for 1...2...no, Kurt makes the save. Edge hits a double clothesline and makes the tag to Maven. Kurt hits the Angle Slam on Edge but turns around into a DDT by Maven. Maven goes to the top rope and hits a missile dropkick on Christian. He covers for 1...2...no, Kurt makes the save. Kurt hits a german suplex on Maven but turns around into a face plant by Edge. Edge spears Christian but is backdropped to the floor by Angle. Maven clotheslines Angle over the top and out but Christian goes for the Unprettier. Maven counters with the O'Connor Roll for 1...2...3 to win the match. Big upset win by Maven and the crowd loves it. Maven and Edge leave smiling with the heels irate in the ring. Nice to give Maven some shine as the "smiling babyface" trope still has some life....for now anyway. Serviceable match, nothing to complain about here.

Time of match: 4:28

Winners: Edge and Maven

We get more hype for Hulk Hogan "retiring" as we go to break. This week's Slam of The Week is Deacon Bautista and Reverend D'Von attacking Bubba Ray Dudley at Judgment Day. On to the next match.

Match 4

Reverend D'Von (with Deacon Bautista) vs Rikishi

D'Von has a new theme "He called my name" which was almost catchy at the time. Cole brings up Rikishi and Rico winning the tag belts on Sunday by complete accident as D'Von grabs a mic to begin. D'Von tells him to get the hell....heck in the back and put some clothes on. Love how the guy who used to say "Thou shall not fuck with the Dudley Boys" is now a preaching minister. Rikishi isn't amused and drops him with a right hand to start the bell. Rikishi hits a clothesline and D'Von goes for a sunset flip, but wisely rolls out of the way out of the ass drop. D'Von crawls to the corner and crosses himself (hahahaha) but here comes Rico down to ringside. Rikishi hits a belly to belly suplex and rams D'Von's head into the buckle. D'Von gets in a low blow and hits a flying clothesline. D'Von rallies with right hands in the corner but here comes Billy & Chuck out to the ring as well. Got enough heels out here or what? Already had Bautista in the corner but Billy, Chuck and Rico have joined us. D'Von drops an elbow on the apron and goes for a suplex. Tazz says that's a mistake as Rikishi naturally blocks it. Rikishi goes for a powerslam but Bautista grabs his foot. D'Von lands on top for 1....2...no. Rikishi rallies with right hands but D'Von hits a DDT to counter....that Rikishi no sells. Rikishi drops D'Von with a superkick as Tazz brings up Yokozuna was Rikishi's cousin. Rikishi later inan interview years later cried while saying Yokozuna paid off Rikishi's house when Rikishi was in financial trouble. Rikishi hits the the pop up cutter as Cole brings up Yokozuna vs Hulk Hogan. Got enough references? Bautista gets dropped off the apron by Rikishi and he avalanches D'Von in the corner. Rikishi calls for the Stinkface but Bautista distracts the ref long enough for Rico to nail Rikishi in the back of the head with his title belt. D'Von covers for 1...2..3 to win the match. Well that was stupid, D'Von's antics were chuckle worthy though.

Time of match: 3:11

Winner: D'Von by pinfall

D'Von and Bautista put the boots to Rikishi post-match with Billy & Chuck laughing at the entrance way. Bautista hits the spinebuster with almost no effort and leaves with D'Von. Rico then pretends to console Rikishi in the ring and gives the thumbs up to Billy & Chuck. Cole says Rikishi was never punished for giving Vince McMahon the stinkface last month and this could have been payback? What? Bautista has a future once this ridiculous church angle comes to and end, best believe that.

We cut to Chavo Guerrero Jr watching footage of Raw where Eddie Guerrero broke a beer bottle over Steve Austin's head. No wonder Austin wanted out so badly. Chavo is interrupted by ace reporter Gregory Helms and asks who's been leaving notes for The Hurricane. Chavo says he doesn't leave "stinkin" notes, he'll face Hurricane later tonight and take his title. Gregory opens a locker and finds a note "by the power of Greyskull". It says "I'm not tall and I'm not fat, but I left you a clue." Tazz "Beef jerky???" So logically someone is leaving notes in random lockers just hoping that Hurricane or Gregory Helms just happens to be there that night? This better lead to something good.

We cut to Dorkus Malorkus who's with Triple H. He says what he did was amazing and HHH says HIAC was the most brutal match ever devised. He says there's no winners in HIAC, just survivors. He says he's the survivor and Storm found out he's the game. His focus is not on Lance Storm or Chris Jericho, he wants to be WWE Champion again. Lance Storm walks up and says Hunter got lucky tonight, and his luck has run out. Test then big boots HHH out of nowhere as we go to break. Back from commercial we get hype for Velocity, sex sells...but who's buyin? We're shown Test blasting HHH with the announcers speculating why. Tazz says it was Test making up for kissing Stacy earlier. On to the next match.

Match 5

Chavo Guerrero Jr vs The Hurricane for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship

Tazz says he's got nothing to do with the notes as Hurricane makes his entrance. Bell's gone and Hurricane starts with an eye poke, ha! Hurricane drops Chavo with a shoulderblock and powerslam, covering for 1...2..no. Hurricane is sent into the corner and Chavo hits a back suplex. Tazz and Cole start babbling about Hulk Hogan movies and Wrestlemania 1, CLEARLY Vince is in their ears on that one. Chavo kicks Hurricane on the second rope and hits a dropkick as well. Chavo covers for 1...2...no. Cole continues to babble on about Hogan accomplishments as Chavo hits another dropkick. Chavo covers for 1....2..no. Now they're babbling about Hogan feuds from the 80's as Hurricane hits a flying clothesline. Hurricane rallies with right hands and hits a running neckbreaker. He covers for 1...2..no. Cole for the second time in the course of 3 minutes says Hogan will retire as Chavo hits Emerald Flowsion of all things, covering for 1...2..no. Hurricane calls for the chokeslam but Chav blocks it, sending him into the corner. Chavo's charge eats elbow and Hurricane hits the second rope Blockbuster. He covers for 1..2....3 to win the match. If you watched the match on mute, it would have been good. Otherwise that was painful.

Time of match: 2:56

Winner: Hurricane by pinfall (still Crusierweight Champion)

WWE cared so much about that last match we cut to Stacy and Vince McMahon himself as soon as the bell rang, didn't even wait for Hurricane to get his damn hand raised. Stacy says Test's kiss meant nothing and he was just fooling around in the ring. Vince says don't worry about it because Hulk Hogan's retirement means as much as the Gettysburg Address or President Bush's state of the union address. Great false equivalency but here comes Chris Jericho barging in to whine about facing Mark Henry. Jericho asks what Vince was thinking and Vince says this an opportunity for him to take a step forward in his legacy by beating the world's strongest man. Jericho "Can I beat the world's strongest man? What did he mean by calling me sweet britches?" Vince and Stacy are aghast as we go to break.

Back from break the "Slam of the Week" is referee Tim White getting thrown into the cell and Jericho hitting HHH with a chair during Hell in A Cell. Sadly that was the beginning of the end of Tim White's career as he suffered a massive separated shoulder injury for real. On to the next match.

Match 6

Mark Henry vs Chris Jericho

The kayfabe storyline is HHH looked like hot garbage against Lance Storm because of his injuries and Jericho won't be 100 percent in this one either. Bell's gone and Henry backs him into the ropes, only for Chris to kick him in the ribs. Jericho runs into a big boot and a big right hand. Mark yells at him to get up and Jericho crawls into the corner. Henry chops his chest and whips him to the opposite corner. Henry avalanches Jericho and punches him in the ribs. Henry heaves Jericho across the ring and Jericho is busted open just like HHH from earlier. Henry goes for the Vader Bomb but Jericho rolled out of the ring. Jericho dropkicks the knee of Henry but runs into a slam. Henry's charge in the corner eats boot but he catches Jericho in mid-air on a cross body attempt. He military presses Jericho and slams him down then sits on Jericho on the second rope. Outside the ring, Jericho sends him into the ring post and throws a chair in the ring. Henry sends Jericho in the ring post then slides inside. Henry grabs a chair of his own and brings it into the ring. Referee Mike Sparks grabs the chair and Jericho waffles Henry in the back with the chair he threw in earlier. Jericho covers for 1...2....3 to win the match. What was the point of that, that Jericho had to cheat to beat Mark Henry because he was too beat up? At least Lance Storm looked like he had no chance in hell to beat a healthy HHH because as a heel, that works. You could have had the exact same Henry/Jericho match with Jericho healthy and nothing would have changed. Oh well...the less said of it, the better.

Time of match: 3:17

Winner: Jericho by pinfall

A bloody Jericho walks off as Cole says to set your VCRs because Hogan is retiring when we come back from break. Back from break, its time. Hogan gets a huge pop during his entrance if you're watching the original broadcast. If you're watching the Network version, the horrible music overdub kills the crowd noise. Hogan says he loves the fans to start and says he was born Terry Bollea on August 11, 1953 in Augusta, Georgia. He was raised in Tampa, Florida and was the son of pipe layer Pete and housewife Ruth. His parents were working class people who worked their whole lives to provide for the family. Then 20 years ago he had the opportunity to get into the business....and this is where he's a little off because 20 years ago (1982) he was in the AWA. He's had a blast the last 20 years and had the time of his life, which starts a Hogan chant from the crowd. He says there's only one thing regrets and that his father isn't here since he passed away this past December. His father had his sixth stroke and only lit up when he saw Raw and Smackdown. One day his father got tired of it all, tore his trach tube out and told him "Terry, you need to go back to wrestling and straighten out your career" and "Terry, you need to go back to WWF (yes, Hulk said F). Hulk says here he is and he couldn't have done it without the fans. He thanks the fans and says there comes a time in every man's life when they have to step down. He brings up "You gotta know when to hold em, and know when to fold em." He says thanks for the memories and says he wants one last hope & dream, that Hulkamania will live forever. He thanks the fans as Voodoo Child hits on the original broadcast or the horrible Network song depending on what you're watching. 

He poses for the fans but No Chance hits. Vince McMahon hits the ring for a rebuttal and Tazz says they have a long history together. Vince mocks him saying "Say it ain't so." Vince sarcastically says the sky is falling and the world is coming to an end because Hogan is retiring. Vince then says its pathetic for Hulk to be retiring in "the rectum of" Tupelo, Mississippi of all places (which would be bizarre as hell if this was for real). Vince says "Hogan, read my lips. There's no chance in hell of you retiring." Vince says Hulk's not going to retire because 10 years ago he walked out on him, but not this time. He'll sue him and his family for everything they got if he breaches his signed contract. Vince says the only way Hulk leaves is when his body is decomposing in a pine box. Vince "I created Hulk Hogan" and he owns Hulkamania. (Neither are true) He says he owns Hogan until the day he dies. Hulk grabs Vince and says one day he may retire but it won't be until he kicks his ass. Hulk gets a massive pop for dropping Vince with a right hand. Hulk whips Vince with his weight lifting belt but here comes The Undertaker for the save. Taker pounds away in the corner and whips him into the other corner. Taker's charge eats elbow and Hulk drops him with an axehandle smash to the head. Hogan clotheslines Taker over the top to the floor as Cole says Hulkamania lives. Tazz whoops it up as Taker retreats with Vince, Hogan in the ring catering to the crowd. We sign off with Hogan standing tall.

So what the hell was the point of that? They spent the whole show hyping up Hogan's retirement to the point they ignored parts or the majority of whole matches only for Vince to say like hell you're retiring. I do like Hogan giving his true life story before going into the carny talk. If you honestly believe Pete Bollea near death ripped his trach tube out and told Hogan to go back to WWF, I got a bridge in Mongolia to sell you. Still, it put over the point that Hogan wanted to come back and have another run. I also like Vince bringing up Hogan leaving WWF in 1992 although I think he actually meant Hogan walking out in 1993 after holding the WWF title hostage until he dropped it to Yokozuna. So why the fake retirement? Unless we're getting Taker vs Hogan round 4 at King of The Ring, it was just a one night storyline to put over Vince and Hogan have kayfabe heat. Whoop de do, you didn't have to hype it up all night, you could have had Hogan do it with no warning. The rest of the show was just window dressing and hopefully this doesn't become a theme moving forward. Still, the first shows after a ppv are usually cucka so maybe next week will be better. The next show after this Friday night's Raw house show in Duluth, Minnesota. I'll see you there.

WWE Judgement Day 2002 (5/19/02)

This was the first ppv officially licensed under the name WWE so this is where the "modern era" begins. The main event for this ppv would be the rubber match between The Undertaker and Hulk Hogan for the WWE Championship. Taker won at Survivor Series 91 but Hogan took the rematch a week later on Tuesday in Texas (the first attempt of what would later be Taboo Tuesday/Cyber Sunday) so 11 years later they finally settle the score. Other matches include Steve Austin vs Ric Flair and Big Show, which had been brewing for a month and HHH vs Chris Jericho in a Hell in the Cell. Also included are a hair vs hair match between Kurt Angle and Edge and the rubber match between Eddie Guerrero and Rob Van Dam. The undercard looked great at least on paper while the main event should be at least watchable.

MAY 19, 2002

GAYLORD ENTERTAINMENT CENTER

NASHVILLE, TN

Commentators: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler

Match 1

Rob Van Dam vs Eddie Guerrero for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

 This was the 3rd match between the 2 in a month, Guerrero took the title from Van Dam at Backlash and Van Dam won by DQ at Insurrextion. Hope this match is as good as the other two. Guerrero swings and misses and Van Dam hits a shoulder tackle. Rob goes for 3 quick covers before Guerrero goes outside and throws a temper tantrum. Back inside Eddie gains the advantage with some heel tactics but a charge in the corner eats boot. Van Dam fakes Eddie out and hits a split legged moonsault and a high backbody drop. Eddie runs into a tilt a whirl but the cover gets a deuce. Rob stomps away as Eddie says "nonononono" Rob locks in a butterfly lock and damn near pinned him with it. That must have hurt like hell......Rob hits a standing moonsault and then Eddie backs into the corner and calls timeout. King says "No Mas, No Mas" before Eddie fires back and stomps a mud-hole in Van Dam. Eddie gives Rob an indian sunburn on the ring apron before taunting the crowd. JR shills the Guerrero family as Eddie sticks a thumb to the eye, then JR mentions we're in Lawler country. Rob hits a split/monkey flip spot before a slugfest ensues, which Guerrero wins. Van Dam then hits another monkey flip before hot-shotting him throat first on the top rope. A rolling thunder gets 2 as a sign in the crowd says "R.I.P. Davey Boy". The king of Coliseum Video wins, British Bulldog sadly died shortly before this ppv. Guerrero counters a suplex into a prawn for a 2 but Van Dam fires back with a step-over heel kick. Rob goes upstairs but Eddie crotches him then powerbombs him almost through the mat. Eddie goes upstairs and says "I feel froggy" but missed the splash. They trade blows before Rob Van Dam turns into Jean Claude Van Dam and hits a roundhouse kick to make the crowd go "woah". Rob goes upstairs but missed the 5-star attempt. King "How do you say RVD in Spanish?" JR "I don't have a damn clue" They just stand there looking at each other before going into a leapfrogging session which ends with a flying bodypress by Van Dam for a long two count. Rob counters a european uppercut into a backslide for another long deuce before Eddie counters a roundhouse kick into a backslide, then puts his feet on the ropes for 1...2....3., nice. JR cries foul but Eddie retains the title in a decent opener. The roundhouse Rob hit earlier was one of the sickest spots I've seen in a while. I thought it was going to be good and it was. Show's off to a good start.

Time of match:  11:08

Winner: Eddie Guerrero by pinfall (still IC champion)

   The next segment is Reverand D'Von, Stacy Keibler, Deacon Bautista and Vince McMahon all bowing in a prayer......now before I try to explain what the hell I'm watching, here's some backstory. Someone had the bright idea (sarcasm) to split the Dudley Boys and while Bubba Ray was basically the same as he always was on Raw, they turned D'Von into a preaching minister. DVon was also given a bodyguard, a 6'6 300 lb monster named Leviathan (great Peter Weller movie btw) in Ohio Valley Wrestling became Deacon Bautista on Smackdown. Stacy, Deacon and D'Von close their eyes while Vince takes that opportunity to check out Stacy as D'Von preaches that Stacy will take out Trish in their match and if Bubba Ray interferes he'll be taken out as well. Oh and if you couldn't guess, donation box carrying Deacon Bautista is now known as "The Animal" Dave Batista, a legend that needs no introduction. Then we cut to a "Get the F Out" commercial......its bad enough we had to see these horrible attempt to look hip commercials on weekly television, but on a ppv? The backstory to those that don't know was the World Wildlife Foundation successfully sued World Wrestling Federation for the rights to the initials WWF so Vince renamed his company World Wrestling Entertainment and tried to look cool by having commercials say "Get the F out". It wasn't cool...it was openly admitting he lost. Should have just slipped the Wildlifers a few bucks to go away.

Match 2

Stacy Keibler (with D'Von Dudley and Deacon Bautista) vs Trish Stratus (with Bubba Ray Dudley) for the WWE Women's Championship

 An inter-promotional diva-fest that could actually be interesting. The re-union of the Dudleys combined with the looks of Stacy and the debut of Bautista could be noteworthy here. Stacy held a swimsuit contest on Smackdown and Tajiri pulled Torrie Wilson out of the competition leaving Trish to enter and win, then giving Stacy a beat-down. Trish enters alone wearing a purple leotard (what?) and then Stacy enters with Deacon and D'Von in tow. Bubba is announced last which is interesting since he's neither the champion nor the challenger or even in the match period. Trish starts out with forearms before catching a roundhouse kick from Stacy. That one may have trumped Van Dam's from earlier but the cover gets 2. Stacy hits a sloppy looking back-drop before making another cover. Trish hits some clothesline and puts Stacy in a boston crab. Stacy counters into a sunset flip (impressive by her standards) but Trish hits a neckbreaker for another 2 count. Trish hits the Chick Kick that knocks Stacy out of the ring into Bubba Ray territory. Bubba leans over her and then laughs in her face, causing Stacy to slap him across the face. Hahahhahahaha! Bubba backs Stacy into the corner of the ring as the ref tells Bubba to get lost....but then Deacon Bautista gets in the ring and slams Trish. Stacy slides in but the cover only gets 2. Stacy locks in a chin lock before pulling her hair, then Trish hits a jump kick before hitting a baseball slide on Bautista. Deacon is unfazed so he hops up on the apron but is nailed by a Stacy Keibler clothesline that was aimed for Trish. Again Deacon is unfazed as Trish hits a one handed bulldog and covers for 3 to win the match. D'Von gets in the ring and chases Trish away but then Bubba gets in and the crowd pops loudly. D'Von then tries to offer a handshake and Bubba accepts, then takes out an on-rushing Bautista, then D'Von hits a running clothesline. D'Von then repents and shakes his head as Deacon gets in and stomps a mudhole in Bubba. D'Von then restrains Deacon before giving the old sign of the cross...and resumes the beatdown. D'Von tells Bautista to get the tables as D'Von begins preaching to Bubba that he needs to be taught a lesson. Wonder what Spike Dudley was doing at this time. Deacon then goes for what's now known as the Batista Bomb through a table but Bubba counters and attacks D'Von in the corner. Batista...errr Bautista hits Bubba with the donation box and they flapjack Bubba through a table. In what has to be the gayest (and I don't mean homosexual gay) moment of Bautista's career, before the Eddie Guerrero hug, he then holds his hands together and looks up to pray. Stacy wakes up and they all celebrate in the ring. Damn did Stacy suck in that match....you'd think with three years in the business she'd have learned a thing or two by now. Hell she started in 1999 and Trish in 2000 and still looks years behind Trish in terms of ability. Ah well, least she didn't have a miscarriage in this promotion. Also she was much more comfortable as a manager, and a damn good one, so why didn't they have Bubba vs D-Von with Trish and Stacy outside?

Time of Match:  2:55

Winner: Trish Stratus by pinfall (Still Women's champion)

  The next segment is Ric Flair and Arn Anderson getting confronted by Vince himself and they shake hands because Flair is sick of Austin as well. Flair says unlike Vince he'll take Steve down. Vince and Flair hug as McMahon looks angered by that comment.

Match 3

The Hardy Boyz vs Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman

 No Shawn Stasiak this time...Heyman will do it himself. The storyline going into this one is Brock has been a one man wrecking crew and is on the verge of breaking out as a superstar once he's done with Matt and Jeff Hardy. He's been feuding with them for a solid month now. Speaking of Jeff....he flies out of the ring as Lesnar makes his entrance and Brock catches him. Matt quickly baseball slides into Jeff to knock Brock flat on his back. The Hardys double team Brock outside the ring then chase Heyman inside. Heyman begs for mercy before Lesnar clobbers The Hardys with a double clothesline as the bell rings, Lesnar gets rid of Matt then feasts in Jeff in the corner with shoulder blocks. Jeff tries to counter but Lesnar's power is too much. Matt tags in and goes on the offensive but Lesnar takes control and hits more shoulderblocks in the corner as the crowd starts up a GOLDBERGGGG chant. Wait two years, people. Matt blocks a overhead press but is caught in a powerslam. Everything Lesnar has done so far is high impact power moves, and keep in mind he was a mat based wrestler in high school and college. Lesnar continues to hit shoulderblocks in the corner before Matt counters with a tornado ddt. Jeff tags in and hits whisper in the wind and then a jawbreaker. Jeff trips up Brock as Matt goes upstairs and they hit their 2Xtreme legdrop combo....ok I made the name up but you can visualize it can't you? Brock is barely fazed but is hit by the Leap of Faith by Jeff and clotheslined out of the ring by Matt. The Hardys chase Heyman around the ring again and finally Matt grabs ahold inside the ring. Paul's hat falls off exposing his bald head as King squeals "LOOK AT HIS HEADD...HAHAA LOOK AT HIS HEAD" Matt unloads on Paul in the corner and Jeff hits a Leap of Faith. Brock comes over and pulls Matt out under the ring as Jeff goes upstairs. Brock gets in and catches Jeff in mid-air....then falls backwards for a two count. Who blew that spot? Jeff charges and Brock leapfrogs him over his head and crashing into Matt on the apron, knocking him off. Brock hits the F-5 and tags in Heyman, who trips getting in the ring as JR scoffs. A cover gets the 1--2--3 to win the match and, oh yes, Paul Heyman has pinned Jeff Hardy.  After the match Heyman takes his jacket off as King prays he doesn't continue to strip. Brock did all the work of course and looming on the horizon....King of the Ring. Lesnar had proven his point by taking out both Hardys, now it was on to better things.

Time of match: 4:47

Winners: Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman by pinfall

  The next segment is some dorkus malorkus interviewing Booker T about his recent joining of the nWo on Raw. Before I continue I should point out after Scott Hall was fired, they replaced him with Booker T. The move wasn't so bad in terms of a talent standpoint since Scott really couldn't work anymore and Booker was amongst the best, it was that to ANYONE that followed WCW knew that Booker was anti-nWo since the beginning. Anyway Booker says that he's the man before spotting a Halle Berry lookalike contest winner and proceeds to hit on her until she tells him she wants him to sign her an autograph in a very special place and proceeds to give him the key to her hotel. Booker then goes crazy as we head for our next match but not before King says "I think Booker just got a magic johnson!"

Match 4

Steve Austin vs Ric Flair and Big Show

   This one has been brewing for months. It started at Backlash when Flair unknowingly screwed Austin out of the WWE title and then began to make one mistake after another before Austin stunned him at Insurrexion (as well as several other times on Raw). Big Show highlights are shown including a promo he cut saying how when Austin was out from 99-00, Show was one of the main stars but when Austin came back he (meaning Show) was turned into a joke. Yes, a rare logical storyline since Big Show was pretty much an afterthought to this point in May 2002. This was pretty much a pseudo-heel turn by Flair who hated Austin but after this was over, would go back to being his jolly old self. Big Show comes out to his new nWo theme as Flair comes out to his old school WWF theme.....until the theme ends and you can hear his 2001 Space Odyssey tune finishing out and they actually overlap at the end. Which means they were overdubbing the old school all along, guess they didn't want to pay royalties or something. Austin enters and begins slugging away at the both of them. Austin backdrops Flair and kicks away at Big Show, he then goes for a stunner attempt but is thrown into Flair. Austin slugs away at Big Show and fires away at Flair before hitting a low blow on Show. Austin applies a figure four and in a dumb spot, hits Flair while lying on his back and Flair sells it like he was hit by a truck. Austin flips off Flair and applies a figure four on flair then rolls out of the way of an oncoming Big Show elbow drop. Austin rolls outside and grabs a chair and gets inside which provokes referee and Flair lackey Charles Robinson to give him an earful. Finally Austin gives up the chair....then rolls out and gets another one. He then props the chair and sits in it, then flips off Charles Robinson. I'm gonna miss Austin that's for sure....I'll explain what I mean at the end of this match. Flair climbs to the second rope and stands behind Show. The crowd gets a "What" chant going as Austin locks up with Flair.....and I just realize this is the first time they've wrestled in any sort of meaningful match since 1993 back when Austin was chumming with the late Brian Pillman. What a shame how this could have been a money-making main event back in 1998 but is a midcard match on a 2002 ppv. Austin slugs Big Show and says "what?" but hits Flair with a shoulderblock. Flair rolls outside and regroups with Big Show as Austin rolls outside and grabs a brewsky Its a little early for the post-match celebration. Austin teases cracking it open before discarding it and eats a Flair shoulderblock. Flair begs off and then catches Steve with a thumb to the eye. Flair chops the rattlesnake in the corner as the crowd chants WOOOOOO. Austin then counters and begins chops of his own as the crowd loudly chants "What?" Flair does a flop and again begs for mercy. Austin hits a series of punches then no sells an inverted atomic drop before clotheslining Flair down. Flair tags out to Show as King says "Now the fun begins". Show taunts Austin before Austin does push-ups to piss Show off, which Show answers with open handed chops to the chest. Austin regains his composure and once again is sent down from a big chop. Austin then counters with punches but eats a big boot to kill the momentum. Flair tags in and hits a lowblow on Steve as JR scoffs. Flair struts as Big Show laughs as Ric chops Austin in the corner, then they trade blows. Flair gets another thumb to the eye and goes upstairs, but Austin throws him off the top rope. Steve stomps a mudhole in Flair and then attacks an interfering Big Show, but Show counters with a powerslam. A cover gets 2 and Flair continues to stomp away on Steve before taunting the crowd. Flair chops and punches Austin in the corner again and begins attacking the left leg of Austin. Show tags in and begins wearing down the leg Flair was working on. Flair tags back in and Austin surprises him with an inside cradle for a 2 count. Flair then hits the figure four leg lock....and the crowd doesn't even pop or cheer. After a minute Austin reverses the hold but Show comes in and drops an elbow. Austin sneaks a backslide for a 2 count but Flair hits more chops and a right hand. Austin rallies with chops as the crowd chants "Woo" and "What". Austin then hits a spinebuster and another figure four before Show comes in and leg drops Steve. Flair tags in Big Show who eats boot twice before Austin hits a Lou Thez press from the second rope. Flair comes in and is met with a conventional Thez press. Austin hits a low blow and a spine buster, but Show stops the counter attempt. Austin counters a chokeslam attempt into a Stunner but nWo member X-Pac interferes. Austin ducks under a savate kick and Pac nails Show with it instead and is stunned for his effort by Steve. Austin stuns Flair and covers for the 1-2--3 to win the match even though Big Show was the legal man. Austin then does his double drink salute on the ramp. Not the best match but the crowd was really into it with all the chants.

I should point out following this ppv, Austin grew increasingly bitter against Stephanie McMahon and the other writers so on June 2, 2002...he walked out. That's right, the man who helped launch the WWF into the stratusphere in 1998 got so angry he took his ball and went home. One of the reasons was that they wanted him to job cleanly to Brock Lesnar in a King of the Ring qualifying match on an upcoming Raw. Austin said he had no problem jobbing to Lesnar, but would rather do it in a more important match such as a ppv main event or something (Think of Austin, the 1996 KOTR passing the torch to Lesnar in the 2002 final). On one hand Austin was definitely playing an ego card by refusing to job to Lesnar and getting angry that they were putting others in the spotlight ahead of him, but when you saw what they were doing to the careers of Chris Jericho, The Hardys and Austin himself you could feel for him. Stephanie was the head writer and HHH was her fiancee....who do you think's getting the spotlight? So as it was, this would be the last ppv Austin would wrestle at for 8 months...least he went out with a win.

Time of match: 15:36

Winner: Steve Austin by pinfall

 The next segment is hosted by Michael Cole and Tazz which highlights the upcoming hair vs hair match. They show a preview of what both would look like bald, and Edge with the shades looked like Ron Pearlman from Blade 2. I should point out that one of the oldest rules in promoting is give the fans a match they want to see, but do it in a manner where the outcome of the match can't be given away, therefor making fans pay to see what happens. A perfect example of how to do it and how not to do it happened at Wrestlemania 18, two months earlier. The Rock faced Hulk Hogan in a match fans paid to see but the buildup and the combined ego's of the two men involved gave no indication of who would win, therefor fans were interested enough to pay to see the outcome. The opposite of this would be HHH vs Jericho, HHH was being booked as an unstoppable face after returning from quad surgery and Jericho was being booked so horribly that everyone knew HHH was going to win, also because HHH is an ego-maniac and Jericho has never been known to have a backstage ego (which is ironic given his on-screen character). Edge has long blond hair that the female fans love and Kurt has a noticeable receding hairline so it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure out who wins this one. I just hope the match itself is worth the inevitable conclusion.

Match 5

Edge vs Kurt Angle  (Hair vs Hair)

 Remember in my Backlash review how I said even through the storylines for this feud were silly but the matches delivered, this would be the epitome. A hair vs hair match usually stinks the joint out but if its booked properly, can be a noteworthy event (Wrestlemania 23). This could have been the opposite, fans were hot to see Edge and Angle get it on but certainly not in a manner like this. They lock up and Angle hooks in a cement mixer that Edge quickly backs into the corner to avoid the pinfall attempt. Kurt locks in a front facelock and they chain sequence until Edge hits a running roll-up for a 2 count. Angle goes on offense as JR shills Kurt's career at this point. Edge throws Kurt over and out then hits a baseball slide, then goes on offense outside. Kurt gets the upper hand back inside with punches and kicks before eating a back body drop. Edge ties Kurt into the top rope Andre the Giant style and then hits a spear. A second attempt is turned into a belly-to-belly suplex from the ring to the floor by Angle onto Edge. Kurt stomps away in the corner but turns his attention to the ref long enough to start an "Angle sucks" chant. Edge chops Kurt but eats a spinebuster for his troubles. Angle chokes Edge with his knee on the second rope as King tries to make fun of Edge by saying he has a dinosaur shaped head and then says JR has a bowling ball shaped head. Edge hits a back elbow smash but Kurt counters with a ddt/pinfall attempt for a 2 count. Kurt locks in a resthold as JR puts over the importance of this match, King says the loser of this match should seek help from Howard Finkel. As Edge does the fade-then-revive routine, King accidentally says "WWF" and JR scolds him on it, this was literally the first month of the name change and after saying the letters WWF for over 20 years, kind of hard to adjust in a matter of weeks. Edge powers out and Kurt takes him down by the hair then hits a floatover suplex for a 2 count. Kurt goes for a double armbar facelock as JR says if Edge loses his hair all the ladies will weep, then King says "I was hoping you wouldn't say if Edge loses all the kids will shave their heads" Nevermind the fact the kids shave their heads anyway due to a Mister Stone Cold Steve Austin. Edge hits a BtB suplex of his own and they stay down for a few seconds. Edge rallies with clotheslines and a spinning back kick, then an Edge-o-matic for 2. Kurt hits another BtB suplex as King hypes up the next match (Hell in a Cell). Edge backdrops Kurt onto the apron but kicks his legs out from under him. Edge hits a plancha from the ring to the floor onto Angle...but doesn't clear the ropes completely like he did at Summerslam 98. Edge goes upstairs and shoves an onrushing Angle off the turnbuckle then hits a missle dropkick. A cover gets a LONG 2 count and Angle quickly recovers to hit a german suplex. King and JR are non-stop with hair jokes as Edge turns another german into a victory roll for a 2 count. Edge hits the Edgecution and then goes upstairs again but this time Angle gets the overhead suplex from the top. Kurt covers for the 1..2...noooooo Edge kicks out at 2. Edge hits a superkick and hits a ddt from the second rope but the near-fall is a 2. Edge goes for the spear but Angle moves and referee Brian Hebner goes flying. Kurt does another german and Edge actually does a 360, landing on his face as the crowd all goes silent at once. Kurt covers but Hebner's out, so he goes out and grabs a chair. Edge counters a swing with a spear but the ref is still down. Edge calls for another spear but Angle kicks him in the face. Kurt goes for the angle-slam but Edge hits another spear but Hebner takes too long and Angle kicks out at 2. Edge blocks an angle-slam but Angle hits a spear of his own and finally hits an angle-slam. The cover gets 1...2...NOOOOO Edge kicks out as Angle is heated. Angle unstraps his singlet and locks in an ankle-lock, but Edge counters with an enziguiri. Angle hits a single-leg takedown and hits another anklelock but Edge kicks angle off the ropes and catches Kurt with an inside cradle for 1...2..3 AND ITS OVER. Angle attacks Edge after the bell but Edge counters with the Edgecution. Edge drags Kurt to the barber area set up where Kurt manages to escape.....lame. Decent match but Angle managed to escape for now with his hair

Time of match: 15:30

Winner: Edge by pinfall (Kurt is to be shaved bald)

 The next camera shot is the Marriott Hotel across the street and King says "Uhhhhh...what would be the reason to show that?" Then we see Booker T in bed calling for his new "friend" to get in bed. Then she says to turn off the light and he complies, then she says to kiss her but the camera light unfortunately shows someone leaving the bed and someone else getting in. Booker then says "what do u want me to do now" and Goldust's voice says "I want you to leave the nWo!" Booker turns on the light and screams then runs out with his ass showing as Goldust turns to the woman and says "...I wore this dress for nothing!" On to the next match before I throw up.

Match 6

HHH vs Chris Jericho (Hell in a Cell)

 This would be the end of one of the dumbest and frustrating storylines I've ever been forced to witness. Chris Jericho after years of service with both WCW and WWE finally got his due when he pinned both The Rock and Steve Austin in the same night at Vengeance 2001 to become WWE Champion. Now as the champion, he then took a back-seat to the returning HHH and began serving as Stephanie McMahon's lackey. After HHH beat Jericho for the title at Wrestlemania, Jericho wasn't even booked to wrestle at Backlash while HHH jobbed to Hulk Hogan. In the storylines, Vince McMahon was mad at HHH for the pedigree on both Vince and Stephanie so he employed Jericho to take him out in a Hell in a Cell. Yes, so not only was Jericho never given his rematch for the title, he was now forced to be the McMahon's hired gun against HHH. They do a stare down to start the match then trade blows. Hunter hits a high knee and a backdrop then goes on offense in the corner. HHH throws out Jericho and both counter each others attempt to ram heads into steel. Back inside Jericho flys and hits HHH but a slugfest ensues. Chris says "Come on you sonovabitch" but misses a shoulderblock and hits the ringpost. HHH finally rams Jericho head first into the cell outside and then body first on the other side. Back inside HHH continues the assault with short armed clotheslines and a suplex. Jericho whips HHH over the corner to the floor and finally Chris gets some offense in. HHH reverses a whip and Jericho goes into the steel steps as his arm cuts open. HHH goes for a piledriver on the steps but Jericho counters and catapaults HHH into the cell. Jericho goes and gets...a ladder from under the ring. Jericho rams the ladder into HHH who blades, then Jericho grates Hunter's head into the cell. Back inside Jericho javelins the ladder into HHH's head again, before proping the ladder in the corner. Jericho whips HHH into the ladder who bounces off, over the top rope and face first onto the steel steps. King says "Looks like he's in a pinball machine" and Jericho throws the ladder out onto HHH. Jericho whips HHH into the cell and puts the ladder and a chair in the ring. Jericho goes for the ladder but HHH counters with a chair shot on the ladder. HHH hits Chris in the back with the chair but Y2J hits the one-arm facebuster on the ladder. Chris gets the steel steps as referee Tim White says "Get in the god damn ring Jericho, I've had enough." Jericho picks up the steps but HHH drop-toes him into it. HHH hits a neckbreaker and a facebuster then heaves the steps right into the bad shoulder of Jericho. Outside HHH javelins Jericho into the cell and heaves him into the other set of steel steps. Tim White heads out onto the apron to fix something as both HHH and Jericho head back inside. Jericho charges but HHH throws him into Tim White who ricochets right into the cell. Jericho hits HHH with a chairshots as JR speculates that Tim had the key to the door. Jericho covers but White's nowhere to be found, so Y2J goes outside and tosses White into the other side of the cell because he's such a role model. White is busted open and Jericho pummels him for absolutely no reason. Jericho runs inside right into a spinebuster by The Game. By this point referees Mike Chioda and Jim Korderas get a pair of clippers and cuts the lock off the cell. The officials check on White as HHH kicks the chair into Jericho's face. HHH goes outside and gets his equalizer the sledgehammer. HHH nails Jericho with it but with the referee's busy, there's no one to count the fall. Jericho slips outside and crawls out of the now open door, then shuts it in Triple H's face. HHH finally crawls out and is met with boots by Y2J. They battle all around the outside of the cell and onto King and JR's announce table. Jericho dismantles the Spanish announce table and goes for a pedrigree but HHH blocks it and ddt's Chris through the table. Jericho makes his way up to the top of the cell as HHH unveils a 2 X 4 wrapped in barbed wire. I remember a friend of mine saying "I can understand ladders, tables, chairs and sledgehammers under the ring, but what the hell does THAT have to do with ring maintenence? The 2 X 4 has a wrap on it so HHH straps it on his wrist and climbs to the top as well. Both are now on top of the cell but Jericho uses the 2 X 4 first to the back of HHH. JR reflects on past cell matches as Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho but Chioda just then starts climbing to the top. Once Chioda gets up there, HHH crawls and kicks Chris off. Y2J gets the 2 X 4 but HHH hits a low blow, but Jericho back-drops HHH into the cell, which doesn't give away. If the thing did give way he would have landed on the top rope in the ring, now that would have been cool. HHH picks up the 2 X 4 and waffles Chris with it, and it catches in his hair. Hunter covers but Jericho kicks out, now Jericho is clearly busted open in the face. HHH hits the pedigree and covers for the 1...2...3 to end this massacre. HHH poses on the top of the cell as JR shills both of them. This would be Tim White's last match ever as an official and this would later lead to a horrific angle which I'll get to in due process, but for now The Game has won.

Time of Match: 24:31

Winner: HHH by pinfall

  We then cut to Kurt Angle running away from Edge, who disguises himself in the makeup chair as Edge runs by. Angle thinks he's fooled him but Edge quickly runs the other way after him. We then cut to another Get the F out commericial with SEXUAL CHOCOLATE as the theme song. After this we head on over to The World in Times Square where Maven is on a date with Torrie Wilson. Torrie says how wearing the geisha outfit was cool, but she'd rather wear nothing at all which causes Maven to do a spittake. Back at ringside JR and King go back to work and put over the previous match before the next match begins.

Match 7

Rikishi and Rico vs Billy and Chuck for the WWE Tag Team Championships

 Before the match is started, it is learned that Rikishi will challenge Billy and Chuck with a Mr. McMahon appointed partner. Howard Finkel then says by order of Vince McMahon..RICO is named the partner. Yes, the manager of the tag team champions, and JR scoffs. Rico is making his ppv in ring debut here and I should note he wasn't a bad worker in his OVW days but the gimmick is really dumb. Billy starts out with Rikishi and unloads with fists but Kish rallies. Billy hits a ddt that doesn't faze him at all so Kishi hits a superkick, Chuck interferes and Rikishi flattens him as well. Rikishi charges but Gunn and Palumbo move out of the way then hit a flapjack on Rikishi. Rikishi avoids and Billy dropkick and goes for the tag but Rico turns away. Billy tags in Chuck and hits football shoulderblocks in the corner and unloads with rights. Chuck hits a powerful overhead suplex and covers but kicks out at 2.  Billy tags in and hits the fame-asser and covers for 1---2---noooo, he kicks out. Chuck tags in and nails a Razor Ramon style right hand as referee Teddy Long scoffs. Rikishi counters a backdrop with a kick and hits a BtB suplex on Chuck. Rikishi tries to fight back and hits backdrop on Chuck and a samoan drop on an interfering Billy. Chuck goes for a sunset flip but Rikishi sits on him for 1....2...nooo Billy tackles him at the last second. Rikishi goes for a press-slam diamond cutter but botches it. Chuck hits a dropkick and orders Rico to kick him, but Rikishi ducks and Rico nails Chuck instead. Rikishi superkicks his own partner and covers Chuck for the 1...2...3?? Yes...Rikishi and Rico are the new tag team champions and no one pops, the crowd is dead silent. Rico wins his first gold inadvertently. Rikishi then does a victory dance complete with dance number at the entrance-way. Really really bad match but it did the job as the crowd is now relaxed enough for the main event

Time of Match: 3:50

Winners: Rikishi and Rico by pinfall (new WWE Tag Team Champions)

  Edge is still running after Angle and this time Kurt catches him with a trash can lid to the face. They brawl back to the ring and Kurt grabs the mic and proclaims he's gonna cut Edge's hair. They brawl near Floyd the barber and Edge locks in a sleeper hold. After a while Kurt is out and Edge finally gets to shave Angle bald. JR "Look at that, look at this"  King "I can't see anything" JR (pointing to the monitor) "Look over here" The crowd starts chanting NA NA NA NA, Goodbye as Edge finishes the job. Edge puts shaving cream on his hand and wakes Kurt up to show him the mirror. Edge grabs the mic and says "They're not gonna chant You suck anymore, but now they're gonna say You're Bald" Kurt's music starts up and the crowd does indeed chant You're Bald.  Kurt runs to the back and to this day he has never wrestled with hair again. On to the main event. 

Match 8

The Undertaker vs Hulk Hogan for the WWE Championship

The Hogan nostalgia run had catapulted Hogan to the WWE Championship but standing in his way is one of the only men to ever beat him clean, The Undertaker. The storyline was logical as Taker had beaten Austin at Backlash to become number 1 contender and then proceeds to beat up Hogan with a belt, to which Hogan counters by driving an 18 wheeler over Taker's bike. Taker enters to his You're Gonna Pay theme without the actual lyrics as Hogan comes out to Voodoo Child. JR brings up Taker's win over Hogan at Survivor Series 91 and Hogan's rematch victory at Tuesday in Texas, then Taker attacks Hogan with his own belt. Taker whips Hogan but Hogan comes back with right hands. Still wearing his entrance gear and belt, Hogan picks up the belt Taker brought and waffles Taker with it a bunch of times. The bell finally rings as Hogan rakes the eyes and punches Taker in the corner and hits a slow clothesline as JR basically admits this will not be your standard wrestling match. Hogan still has all his gear on and backdrops Taker and clotheslines him to the floor. Hogan tears the shirt off as the crowd cheers for some reason. Hogan and Taker battles outside before Hogan whips Taker into the steel steps. Hogan whips Taker into the foam guardrail before going back inside. Taker fires back with elbows and shoulder breakers as the crowd chants Hogan again. Taker goes for old school but Hogan blocks it and crotches Undertaker on the top turnbuckle. Hogan then does a superplex and covers for a near fall. Taker ducks under a clothesline and chop-blocks Hogan down and works over the left leg. Taker rams Hogan's leg into the side of the ring and then the ringpost, then adds a right cross for good measure. JR then says since Hogan is not a mat wrestler, taking out one of his legs makes him virtually defenseless....how come no one did that in the 80's? Taker does a leg-lock spot before Hogan counters by stomping his right leg about 9 times. They trade blows in the middle of the ring before Hogan hits a double axe-handle smash. Hogan then hits the big boot but Taker catches the right leg on the legdrop of doom attempt and turns into a half boston crab. JR says Hogan has never submitted before in his career.....which is blatently false because Starcade 97 was one of the biggest ppv's in wrestling history and Sting made him submit to the scorpion death lock. Hogan makes it to the rope and pulls himself up, but Taker slugs away in the corner. Taker goes for a big boot but Hogan pulls the top rope down and Taker crotches himself. Hogan pseudo Hulks Up and Taker hits one of the worst chokeslams I've ever seen, not even a foot off the ground. Taker covers and Hogan Hulks Up for real this time. Hogan hits the fists and big boot then the leg drop and covers for the 1..2...NOOOOOO. Hogan goes for another big boot and Taker counters with a ddt. Taker goes outside and gets a chair as Vince McMahon hits ring side. Hogan kicks the chair in Taker's face and hits the leg drop, but Vince gets on the apron and distracts referee Earl Hebner. Hogan brings Vince in the ring and drops the big leg on him. Earl rolls Vince out as Taker catches Hogan with a chair shot and a chokeslam. Taker covers for 1...2....3 to win the match and the title. Vince grins and the crowd goes silent. The Undertaker is your new WWE Champion.....the third new champion in 3 months which isn't a good thing. JR asks if Hulkamania is dead as Taker goes outside and gets a steel chair and drives Hogan throat first into it. Taker continues to attack Hogan with the chair as JR signs off and thus ends the ppv. Bad match but the belt has come off Hogan and onto The Undertaker for the 4th time in his career.

Time of Match:  11:17

Winner: The Undertaker by pinfall (new WWE Champion)

   This ppv was half and half. The opener was good, the hell in the cell was ok and the hair vs hair match was good, the rest were nowhere close to good. The biggest mistake was playing hot potato with the WWE Title since there's been a new champion crowned every month since Wrestlemania. Devaluing the world title is what helped kill WCW so doing this to their own was one of the reasons ratings began to decline. Although this was indeed a landmark event, Kurt Angle hasn't had hair nor has Hogan won a World title since, plus the whole Tim White saga and Rico's first title win. 2 1/2 stars out of 5...mainly due to the opening contest. The next ppv would be King of the Ring