WWE Smackdown
BankcorpSouth Center
Tupelo, MS
May 23, 2002
Commentators: Michael Cole & Tazz
Ring Announcer: Tony Chimel
Judgment Day was just days ago and we have a new WWE Champion in The Undertaker. The rumor is Hulk Hogan is going to retire so that may be the main focus tonight. Kurt Angle lost a hair vs hair match to Edge and people want to see what he looks like bald headed. HHH defeated Chris Jericho in the Hell in A Cell match and apparently Vince McMahon isn't too happy with Hunter (in storyline). We're on the road to King of The Ring so let's get started. We start of with a vignette recap of Judgment Day and Hulk Hogan claiming he's going to retire. We get right to our first match.
Match 1
Triple H vs Lance Storm
Cole during the intro says there's no way HHH is 100% after Hell In A Cell on Sunday. Storm on the mic wants to be serious for a minute and runs down HHH, calling him a barbaric, bloodthirsty animal. Hunter wastes no time and clotheslines him immediately before rallying with right hands and a running high knee. Hunter hits a short-armed clothesline but Storm hits a jawbreaker. Storm does a Savage Special, snapping Hunter off the top rope. Lance puts the boots to HHH and drops him with a right hand. HHH counters with a knee to the jaw and a blatant choke. Storm counters with a dropkick and rams his head into the buckle. Lance elbows HHH in the head and whips him off the corner. Lance stomps on HHH's head and chokes him with his boot on the first rope. Cole hypes up Hogan's retirement as Storm rallies with right hands another choke with his boot. HHH is busted wide open and Storm rallies with right hands on the floor. Storm covers for 1...2..no. Lance chokes HHH on the second rope and hits a slingshot clothesline, and its a good one, covering for 1...2...no. Storm goes after the open wound with right hands as Cole once again says Hogan is going to retire. That's gotta be Vince in his ear to ignore the ring like that. Storm misses a charge in the corner and HHH hits the reverse neckbreaker, followed by a spine buster. HHH covers for 1....2...no. Hunter sends Lance off the ropes but Lance ducks the line, superkicking him in the face. Storm locks in a half crab but Hunter makes it to the ropes. Lance hits a second superkick and goes up to the top rope. HHH shoves referee Mike Chioda into the rope to crotch Lance off of it. HHH hits the pedigree and covers for 1...2....3 to win the match. Damn good opener for 5 minute crash style and HHH had to cheat to beat Storm since he was still exhausted from HIAC. Good stuff by both guys.
Time of match: 5:50
Winner: HHH by pinfall
Christian is backstage with Kurt Angle but Angle's head isn't shown. Kurt has Christian touch his medals to show that he didn't get them without courage. Christian says the fans won't be chanting "You suck" they'll be chanting "You're bald." Naturally the crowd starts chanting it as Christian goes "Baldly...handsome...in a manly way...." before leaving. Christian and Angle never ceases to be funny.
Back from break we get Test and Stacy Kiebler backstage. Stacy says Vince McMahon needs a favor from Test and he says he doesn't do the favors Stacy usually does. Stacy says Vince is jealous of Randy Orton and Stacy puts over how great Randy looks. Stacy says Vince wants Test to take him out and Test says sure, but he'll take care of Stacy first. He kisses her and she goes along with it. Guess we got Test/Orton later.
Here's Kurt Angle for a conference...and he's wearing a wig underneath amateur wrestling headgear. HA! Kurt goes on to say it was a miracle when he won a gold medal with a broken neck but growing his hair back was a bigger one. "Its amazing what hair supplements can do these days." Kurt says he grew his hair out just for kicks and says you won't see a bald headed loser crying in the middle of the ring. Then stops and says "Well there's always Hulk Hogan later tonight." Kurt says Edge's victory was a fluke and he won't be an object of ridicule. He's going to go use some hair mousse...but wait! Here comes Maven for some reason. Maven says there's no shame in being bald and says its not that bad. He says Kurt may even look better bald, just take the wig off. Maven says his fans won't make fun of him and fans want to see him in his natural state. Kurt "Excuse me? Do I know you? Do you work here or something? Oh, you're that guy who won a contract from MTV." Kurt says he's THE Kurt Angle and says if Maven wants the wig off so badly, come remove it yourself. Maven accepts the challenge and hits the ring...only he's cut off by Angle with an axehandle smash. Kurt puts the sneakers to Maven but Maven hits a dropkick. Maven damn near rips the wig off but Angle counters with a german suplex. Angle goes to leave but Edge hits the ring to try his luck. He almost has it off but Christian runs down to save Kurt. The heels leave with the wig still on as Edge and Maven laugh at them as we got to break.
One of the commercials is the 7-11 slurpee cup featuring WWE superstars. Rob Van Dam bullies some kid into using his cup before handing others out. Back from break Stacy Keibler is dancing on the announce table but the camera angle is in front of her. You failed, Kevin Dunn. Stacy plays with Tazz who tries to play it cool much to Michael Cole's dismay. Uh oh...here comes Test for the next match.
Match 2
Test vs Randy Orton
Cole says the new show Velocity's main event this Saturday night will be Bra & Panties for the Women's title Stacy Keibler vs Trish Stratus. That's one way to draw a crowd. Stacy joins Tazz and Cole for the commentary as Michael asks Stacy why she's smitten with Orton. She says what she does with her own time is her own business. Test wants a hand shake at the bell but then slaps Orton when he reaches for it. Test put the boots to Orton and rams Randy's head into the buckle. Test unloads on Orton with elbows and boots before heaving him over the top rope to the floor. Tazz says he must be motivated due to kissing Stacy and she's shown on camera smiling. Orton rallies with two dropkicks but eats a knee to the ribs. Test hits the pump handle slam and covers for 1...2..nope, Test pulled him up. Test punches away at Orton as Cole announces we got a tag team match later, Edge & Maven vs Christian and Kurt Angle...saw that one coming. Test goes for the big boot but Orton moves, causing Test to crotch himself. Test hops up and down and Orton drops him with two clotheslines. Orton hits a running forearm and goes for the top rope crossbody. Test cuts him off but Orton shoves him off anyway. Orton hits the cross body but Test rolls through, hooking the tights for 1...2....no. Orton slugs away at Test but Test goes for the pump handle slam. Orton rolls out of it and cradles up Test for 1...2...nope. Test sends Orton into the ring post but Orton rolls out of the way, cradling Test for 1...2...nope. Test goes for the full nelson slam but Orton turns it into a victory roll for 1...2...no. Test hits Cross Rhodes and covers for 1...2....3 to win the match. Stacy says her work here is done but Tazz doesn't want her too. "Cole, get outta here. Put Stacy over here" Hahaha! Serviceable match featuring the big man trying to intimidate the rookie with Orton using speed to outhustle. Orton is definitely the future, just needs the right gimmick.
Time of match: 3:31
Winner: Test by pinfall
Coming up later, Hulk Hogan's farewell address. Back from commercial we're sent to Mark "Dorkus Malorkus" Lloyd with WWE Champion The Undertaker. Lloyd says his title win has had serious rammifications. Taker cuts him off and says he told the world he would be the judge, jury and executioner of Hogan/Hulkamania and he was. He says he's the best in the world and alone at the top of the ladder. He says several superstars aspire to be the man and they have to look him in the eye and take the title from him, he doesn't think anyone can. Lloyd says on Raw, he lost the title to Rob Van Dam and Taker goes "Who??" We're shown the highlight from Raw where RVD hit rolling thunder and pinned Taker for the championship, only for Flair to reverse the decision and restart the match since Taker's foot was on the rope. Taker won with the match restarted and we're back with Lloyd. Taker "Your point is?" Yeah really...his foot was on the rope, match shouldn't have ended that way. Taker "The match....continued!" He says he's the champion if that's alright with Mark. He says he's here tonight to see the death of Hulkamania. Not too many people have multiple ppv wins over Hulk Hogan let alone for the WWE championship.
We cut to Rico admiring his Tag Team Championship belt when Billy & Chuck walk in. They ask what's going on and Rico says his victory was a fluke. He's champion by default and it kills him to wear the belt because it doesn't go with any of his clothes. Yeah, way to put over the prestige of the belt. Rico says he'll prove he's in favor of Billy & Chuck and they hug it out....with Billy & Chuck giving each other a look. They leave and Rico goes back to admiring the belt.
We cut to Chris Jericho who runs into Faarooq. Chris says he's just the guy he's looking for. Faarooq "Are you high? Or drunk? Or did you get hit in the head too many times at Hell In A Cell?" Jericho says he got the beating of his life on HIAC and he can see why Mick Foley retired after he was in it. He doesn't want to wrestle tonight and wants to buy Faarooq's protection. Jericho says name his price to take his place and Faarooq says to pay attention. He asks what that means and Mark Henry bumps into Jericho, HE'S his opponent. The crowd pops and Jericho visibly looks like his heart just sank. We got to break and when we come back, its time for the tag match.
Match 3
Edge & Maven vs Kurt Angle and Christian.
If you're gonna have a one night story filler match, not the worst to have Edge, Angle and Christian involved. Christian heads to the ring but backs off, waiting for Kurt. Hahaha nice touch. Cole spots Kurt and says "Look at this fool!" Kurt attacks Edge at the bell and stomps away at him. Edge hits a spinning heel kick and the Edgecution. Edge goes to take the wig off but Christian tags in. Christian stomps away at Edge but Edge slides under him, hitting a flapjack. Edge unloads with right hands on Christian, tagging in Maven. Maven gets kicked in the head but hits a spinning heel kick. From the back, Torrie Wilson and Trish Stratus are watching the match. Torrie was dating Maven (on screen) so it makes sense why she'd be watching, but why Trish? Maven runs into an overhead belly to belly suplex and Christian executes a side backbreaker. Christian covers for 1...2..no. Christian stomps on Maven and chops him in the corner. He taunts Edge for the ref distraction allowing Kurt to choke Maven. Kurt tags in and drops Maven with a right hand, taunting Edge in the process. He baits Edge into the ring and Maven hits a low blow with the ref not looking, hahahahahahaha! Perfect! Tazz and Cole are surprised as Kurt and Maven make the tags. Edge cleans house of Angle and drops Christian. Edge backdrops Christian and Angle then hits Edge-O-Matic on Christian. Edge covers for 1...2...no, Kurt makes the save. Edge hits a double clothesline and makes the tag to Maven. Kurt hits the Angle Slam on Edge but turns around into a DDT by Maven. Maven goes to the top rope and hits a missile dropkick on Christian. He covers for 1...2...no, Kurt makes the save. Kurt hits a german suplex on Maven but turns around into a face plant by Edge. Edge spears Christian but is backdropped to the floor by Angle. Maven clotheslines Angle over the top and out but Christian goes for the Unprettier. Maven counters with the O'Connor Roll for 1...2...3 to win the match. Big upset win by Maven and the crowd loves it. Maven and Edge leave smiling with the heels irate in the ring. Nice to give Maven some shine as the "smiling babyface" trope still has some life....for now anyway. Serviceable match, nothing to complain about here.
Time of match: 4:28
Winners: Edge and Maven
We get more hype for Hulk Hogan "retiring" as we go to break. This week's Slam of The Week is Deacon Bautista and Reverend D'Von attacking Bubba Ray Dudley at Judgment Day. On to the next match.
Match 4
Reverend D'Von (with Deacon Bautista) vs Rikishi
D'Von has a new theme "He called my name" which was almost catchy at the time. Cole brings up Rikishi and Rico winning the tag belts on Sunday by complete accident as D'Von grabs a mic to begin. D'Von tells him to get the hell....heck in the back and put some clothes on. Love how the guy who used to say "Thou shall not fuck with the Dudley Boys" is now a preaching minister. Rikishi isn't amused and drops him with a right hand to start the bell. Rikishi hits a clothesline and D'Von goes for a sunset flip, but wisely rolls out of the way out of the ass drop. D'Von crawls to the corner and crosses himself (hahahaha) but here comes Rico down to ringside. Rikishi hits a belly to belly suplex and rams D'Von's head into the buckle. D'Von gets in a low blow and hits a flying clothesline. D'Von rallies with right hands in the corner but here comes Billy & Chuck out to the ring as well. Got enough heels out here or what? Already had Bautista in the corner but Billy, Chuck and Rico have joined us. D'Von drops an elbow on the apron and goes for a suplex. Tazz says that's a mistake as Rikishi naturally blocks it. Rikishi goes for a powerslam but Bautista grabs his foot. D'Von lands on top for 1....2...no. Rikishi rallies with right hands but D'Von hits a DDT to counter....that Rikishi no sells. Rikishi drops D'Von with a superkick as Tazz brings up Yokozuna was Rikishi's cousin. Rikishi later inan interview years later cried while saying Yokozuna paid off Rikishi's house when Rikishi was in financial trouble. Rikishi hits the the pop up cutter as Cole brings up Yokozuna vs Hulk Hogan. Got enough references? Bautista gets dropped off the apron by Rikishi and he avalanches D'Von in the corner. Rikishi calls for the Stinkface but Bautista distracts the ref long enough for Rico to nail Rikishi in the back of the head with his title belt. D'Von covers for 1...2..3 to win the match. Well that was stupid, D'Von's antics were chuckle worthy though.
Time of match: 3:11
Winner: D'Von by pinfall
D'Von and Bautista put the boots to Rikishi post-match with Billy & Chuck laughing at the entrance way. Bautista hits the spinebuster with almost no effort and leaves with D'Von. Rico then pretends to console Rikishi in the ring and gives the thumbs up to Billy & Chuck. Cole says Rikishi was never punished for giving Vince McMahon the stinkface last month and this could have been payback? What? Bautista has a future once this ridiculous church angle comes to and end, best believe that.
We cut to Chavo Guerrero Jr watching footage of Raw where Eddie Guerrero broke a beer bottle over Steve Austin's head. No wonder Austin wanted out so badly. Chavo is interrupted by ace reporter Gregory Helms and asks who's been leaving notes for The Hurricane. Chavo says he doesn't leave "stinkin" notes, he'll face Hurricane later tonight and take his title. Gregory opens a locker and finds a note "by the power of Greyskull". It says "I'm not tall and I'm not fat, but I left you a clue." Tazz "Beef jerky???" So logically someone is leaving notes in random lockers just hoping that Hurricane or Gregory Helms just happens to be there that night? This better lead to something good.
We cut to Dorkus Malorkus who's with Triple H. He says what he did was amazing and HHH says HIAC was the most brutal match ever devised. He says there's no winners in HIAC, just survivors. He says he's the survivor and Storm found out he's the game. His focus is not on Lance Storm or Chris Jericho, he wants to be WWE Champion again. Lance Storm walks up and says Hunter got lucky tonight, and his luck has run out. Test then big boots HHH out of nowhere as we go to break. Back from commercial we get hype for Velocity, sex sells...but who's buyin? We're shown Test blasting HHH with the announcers speculating why. Tazz says it was Test making up for kissing Stacy earlier. On to the next match.
Match 5
Chavo Guerrero Jr vs The Hurricane for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Tazz says he's got nothing to do with the notes as Hurricane makes his entrance. Bell's gone and Hurricane starts with an eye poke, ha! Hurricane drops Chavo with a shoulderblock and powerslam, covering for 1...2..no. Hurricane is sent into the corner and Chavo hits a back suplex. Tazz and Cole start babbling about Hulk Hogan movies and Wrestlemania 1, CLEARLY Vince is in their ears on that one. Chavo kicks Hurricane on the second rope and hits a dropkick as well. Chavo covers for 1...2...no. Cole continues to babble on about Hogan accomplishments as Chavo hits another dropkick. Chavo covers for 1....2..no. Now they're babbling about Hogan feuds from the 80's as Hurricane hits a flying clothesline. Hurricane rallies with right hands and hits a running neckbreaker. He covers for 1...2..no. Cole for the second time in the course of 3 minutes says Hogan will retire as Chavo hits Emerald Flowsion of all things, covering for 1...2..no. Hurricane calls for the chokeslam but Chav blocks it, sending him into the corner. Chavo's charge eats elbow and Hurricane hits the second rope Blockbuster. He covers for 1..2....3 to win the match. If you watched the match on mute, it would have been good. Otherwise that was painful.
Time of match: 2:56
Winner: Hurricane by pinfall (still Crusierweight Champion)
WWE cared so much about that last match we cut to Stacy and Vince McMahon himself as soon as the bell rang, didn't even wait for Hurricane to get his damn hand raised. Stacy says Test's kiss meant nothing and he was just fooling around in the ring. Vince says don't worry about it because Hulk Hogan's retirement means as much as the Gettysburg Address or President Bush's state of the union address. Great false equivalency but here comes Chris Jericho barging in to whine about facing Mark Henry. Jericho asks what Vince was thinking and Vince says this an opportunity for him to take a step forward in his legacy by beating the world's strongest man. Jericho "Can I beat the world's strongest man? What did he mean by calling me sweet britches?" Vince and Stacy are aghast as we go to break.
Back from break the "Slam of the Week" is referee Tim White getting thrown into the cell and Jericho hitting HHH with a chair during Hell in A Cell. Sadly that was the beginning of the end of Tim White's career as he suffered a massive separated shoulder injury for real. On to the next match.
Match 6
Mark Henry vs Chris Jericho
The kayfabe storyline is HHH looked like hot garbage against Lance Storm because of his injuries and Jericho won't be 100 percent in this one either. Bell's gone and Henry backs him into the ropes, only for Chris to kick him in the ribs. Jericho runs into a big boot and a big right hand. Mark yells at him to get up and Jericho crawls into the corner. Henry chops his chest and whips him to the opposite corner. Henry avalanches Jericho and punches him in the ribs. Henry heaves Jericho across the ring and Jericho is busted open just like HHH from earlier. Henry goes for the Vader Bomb but Jericho rolled out of the ring. Jericho dropkicks the knee of Henry but runs into a slam. Henry's charge in the corner eats boot but he catches Jericho in mid-air on a cross body attempt. He military presses Jericho and slams him down then sits on Jericho on the second rope. Outside the ring, Jericho sends him into the ring post and throws a chair in the ring. Henry sends Jericho in the ring post then slides inside. Henry grabs a chair of his own and brings it into the ring. Referee Mike Sparks grabs the chair and Jericho waffles Henry in the back with the chair he threw in earlier. Jericho covers for 1...2....3 to win the match. What was the point of that, that Jericho had to cheat to beat Mark Henry because he was too beat up? At least Lance Storm looked like he had no chance in hell to beat a healthy HHH because as a heel, that works. You could have had the exact same Henry/Jericho match with Jericho healthy and nothing would have changed. Oh well...the less said of it, the better.
Time of match: 3:17
Winner: Jericho by pinfall
A bloody Jericho walks off as Cole says to set your VCRs because Hogan is retiring when we come back from break. Back from break, its time. Hogan gets a huge pop during his entrance if you're watching the original broadcast. If you're watching the Network version, the horrible music overdub kills the crowd noise. Hogan says he loves the fans to start and says he was born Terry Bollea on August 11, 1953 in Augusta, Georgia. He was raised in Tampa, Florida and was the son of pipe layer Pete and housewife Ruth. His parents were working class people who worked their whole lives to provide for the family. Then 20 years ago he had the opportunity to get into the business....and this is where he's a little off because 20 years ago (1982) he was in the AWA. He's had a blast the last 20 years and had the time of his life, which starts a Hogan chant from the crowd. He says there's only one thing regrets and that his father isn't here since he passed away this past December. His father had his sixth stroke and only lit up when he saw Raw and Smackdown. One day his father got tired of it all, tore his trach tube out and told him "Terry, you need to go back to wrestling and straighten out your career" and "Terry, you need to go back to WWF (yes, Hulk said F). Hulk says here he is and he couldn't have done it without the fans. He thanks the fans and says there comes a time in every man's life when they have to step down. He brings up "You gotta know when to hold em, and know when to fold em." He says thanks for the memories and says he wants one last hope & dream, that Hulkamania will live forever. He thanks the fans as Voodoo Child hits on the original broadcast or the horrible Network song depending on what you're watching.
He poses for the fans but No Chance hits. Vince McMahon hits the ring for a rebuttal and Tazz says they have a long history together. Vince mocks him saying "Say it ain't so." Vince sarcastically says the sky is falling and the world is coming to an end because Hogan is retiring. Vince then says its pathetic for Hulk to be retiring in "the rectum of" Tupelo, Mississippi of all places (which would be bizarre as hell if this was for real). Vince says "Hogan, read my lips. There's no chance in hell of you retiring." Vince says Hulk's not going to retire because 10 years ago he walked out on him, but not this time. He'll sue him and his family for everything they got if he breaches his signed contract. Vince says the only way Hulk leaves is when his body is decomposing in a pine box. Vince "I created Hulk Hogan" and he owns Hulkamania. (Neither are true) He says he owns Hogan until the day he dies. Hulk grabs Vince and says one day he may retire but it won't be until he kicks his ass. Hulk gets a massive pop for dropping Vince with a right hand. Hulk whips Vince with his weight lifting belt but here comes The Undertaker for the save. Taker pounds away in the corner and whips him into the other corner. Taker's charge eats elbow and Hulk drops him with an axehandle smash to the head. Hogan clotheslines Taker over the top to the floor as Cole says Hulkamania lives. Tazz whoops it up as Taker retreats with Vince, Hogan in the ring catering to the crowd. We sign off with Hogan standing tall.
So what the hell was the point of that? They spent the whole show hyping up Hogan's retirement to the point they ignored parts or the majority of whole matches only for Vince to say like hell you're retiring. I do like Hogan giving his true life story before going into the carny talk. If you honestly believe Pete Bollea near death ripped his trach tube out and told Hogan to go back to WWF, I got a bridge in Mongolia to sell you. Still, it put over the point that Hogan wanted to come back and have another run. I also like Vince bringing up Hogan leaving WWF in 1992 although I think he actually meant Hogan walking out in 1993 after holding the WWF title hostage until he dropped it to Yokozuna. So why the fake retirement? Unless we're getting Taker vs Hogan round 4 at King of The Ring, it was just a one night storyline to put over Vince and Hogan have kayfabe heat. Whoop de do, you didn't have to hype it up all night, you could have had Hogan do it with no warning. The rest of the show was just window dressing and hopefully this doesn't become a theme moving forward. Still, the first shows after a ppv are usually cucka so maybe next week will be better. The next show after this Friday night's Raw house show in Duluth, Minnesota. I'll see you there.
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