Utica War Memorial
Utica, NY
January 1, 1994
Commentators: Vince McMahon Jr, Stan Lane, Gorilla Monsoon and Jim Ross
Ring Announcer: Tony Chimel
Happy New Year everyone as the calendar turns to 1994, we are in the middle of Royal Rumble season. Last week it was announced our main event for today would be Quebecer Jacques of the WWF Tag Team Champions taking on Lex Luger. The Quebecers were guest commentators on Raw and Jacques was very confident going into this match. Why wouldn't he be? You know Johnny Polo will be there along with Pierre. Vince McMahon Jr and Stan Lane welcome us to the show and says Lex vs Jacques is coming up first but sends us to Gorilla Monsoon and Jim Ross to call the match....what? Apparently this was taped on December 15th for Wrestling Challenge but decided to air it on Superstars, hence why Gorilla and Ross are on the call.
Match 1
Quebecer Jacques (with Johnny Polo) vs Lex Luger
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Jim Ross
Jacques grabs the mic before the match starts and says he wants to settle something once and for all. Jacques says Lex knocked Pierre out of Survivor Series but they've told Jack Tunney that he's not going to wrestle Lex until the steel plate is removed from his arm. Gorilla "Why you ingrate! You moron! What a gutless wonder!" Suddenly referees Tim White and Danny Davis stop Jacques from leaving and sends him to the ring. Here comes Lex Luger for the actual match. Jacques attacks him at the bell and puts the boots to him in the corner. Jacques rams Luger's head into the buckle and Lex reverses a whip into the corner. Lex's charge eats boot and Jacques clotheslines him down. Jacques kicks away at Lex but Luger rallies with punches of his own. Lex charges but Jacques ducks, sending Luger over the top rope to the floor. Johnny Polo kicks Luger outside as Gorilla calls him a little worm. Jacques rams Lex's head into the apron then rolls him inside for a pinfall attempt 1...2...no. Jacques applies a chinlock but Luger stands up and Jacques tries to ram him in the buckle. Lex blocks it and rams Jacques into the buckle 10 times to make the kids cheer. Lex hits a backbreaker and drops a forearm to the chest before Jacques begs off in the corner. Lex punches away on the second rope but gets to four before Jacques hits an inverted atomic drop. Lex whips Jacques into referee Joey Marella and Polo trips him up. Jacques and Luger collide which has all three guys on the mat. Polo pulls Jacques out and Pierre comes down to the ring. Pierre splashes Luger in the ring and the ref has no idea its not Jacques. Pierre covers for 1..2....no. Pierre pounds away at Luger but Lex rallies with a clothesline, right hands and a backdrop. He calls for the forearm and wipes Pierre out with him. He covers for 1.2....3 to win the match! But wait! Jacques gets in the ring and tells Joey that was Pierre, not him. Lex snatches Jacques and punches away at him. Luger buries Jacques with the forearm and covers for 1...2...3 to win the match. For real this time. Johnny Polo gets in to protest and Lex grabs him too. Johnny begs off but Lex sends him off the ropes and knocks him out with a forearm as well. Ross says Luger has beaten the tag team champions and their manager. Gorilla "Three for the price of 1, I love it." If you thought one guy beating the tag team champions was a recent trope, think again. Then again, the Quebecers were heels so its all good. Good little angle to have Luger beat up both Quebecers to foil their chicanery.
Time of match: 6:57
Winner: Luger by pinfall
Post-match we get a Royal Rumble advertisement for Saturday night January 22nd before we're sent to Face to Face with Jim Ross. Ross hypes up the New York Rumble coming up January 17 at Madison Square Garden. Randy Savage, The Heavenly Bodies, The Rock N Roll Express, The Headshrinkers, Scott Steiner, The Smoking Gunns, Doink The Clown, The Bushwhackers and more. Spoiler alert, the Express never made it. Ross also says Yokozuna puts the WWF Championship on the line against Tatanka. Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji says Tatanka is going to suffer a lot of pain on the 17th. Cornette says Tatanka's people should go to school and get a job. He says when Yokozuna drops the banzai, Tatanka is going down. Tatanka himself says this is the most important bout in his career and everyone knows what he did to him. Tatanka says this is his first title match at MSG and he's out for revenge. Ross says Monday night, January 17, be there. We cut to a Razor Ramon PSA to say smoking is for losers before we get to our next match.
Match 2
Mike Khoury & Tim McNeany vs The Headshrinkers (Samu & Fatu) with Afa
Commentators: Vince McMahon and Stan Lane
Never understood why you'd have the main event first then nothing but squashes after. Good to see Kowalski grad McNeany though. Insert interview has the Headshrinkers and Afa shouting in Samoan about the Rumble. Back to the ring, Vince says they might be the only team that would actually fight each other while liking it. Samu starts with McNeany and chops him down but Tim ducks the line. Tim hits two clotheslines of his own that Samu no sells before running into a superkick. Samu headbutts McNeany tags out to Khoury. Sam says Khoury boxed for two years at Sugar Ray Leonard's gym and he gets double headbutted down. Fatu tags in and rakes the face in front of the camera as Vince hypes up a house show this Thursday in Port Jervis, New York. Afa punches down Khoury and headbutts him again. Samu tags in for the double faceplant before tagging Fatu. Fatu hits the top rope splash and covers for 1..2.....3 to win the match. Standard squash with the announcers talking more about anything else.
Time of match: 2:54
Winners: Headshrinkers by pinfall
Promotional consideration paid for by the following: Ico Pro starring Tatanka. We cut to Ray Rougeau in the interview stage and his guest is WWF Intercontinental Champion Razor Ramon. Razor cuts off Ray and asks what's wrong with this picture. Ray says the gold around Razor's neck is missing. Razor reiterates that if something happens to his gold, something happens to the guy that did it. Ray says that after Razor was attacked by Shawn Michaels, the gold disappeared. Then three weeks earlier cameras cut IRS with the gold in his briefcase on Monday Night Raw. Razor calls IRS "tax mang" and says "You ripoff the bad guy? Do you know how long and hard I work to buy this precious gold." Ray says he'll try to regain the gold and retain the title but the fans are concerned about Razor's health. We go to a clip of Shawn Michaels hitting the Razor's Edge twice on the floor and Ray asks how much that took out of him. Razor responds that nobody knows better than him how deadly the razor's edge is and tells "tax mang" that he gets knocked down, but he'll get up again. Razor "Everybody, look at me now! I'm up and I'm coming to the Royal Rumble." Razor says he's bringing the gold that can't be bought and IRS is going to have to fight for it. Razor finishes by saying IRS can't beat him one on one before he leaves. Its funny how everyone gets hit with chairs and chainsaws days before a ppv these days and this was 3 weeks before the Rumble and Ray was asking if Razor would even make it. On to the next match after commercial break.
Match 3
Tony Roy vs Bastion Booger
The FABULOUS Tony Roy takes on the grotesque Booger in this one. We got a 5 year old named Trevor Jones to do the intros which was just an excuse for the kid to say "booger." Ironically it was Bastion's idea to turn babyface because he wanted the kids to say "booger" in the era of the gross. It never happened but that would have worked, 10 years later The Boogeyman proved it. Vince runs down Booger's physique as he makes his entrance. Bell's gone and Roy backs away saying Booger stinks. Roy starts with a headlock but runs into a backdrop. Booger beats down Tony and delivers a headbutt. Bastion sends Tony off and drops him with a clothesline. Booger hits a power slam and covers for 1...2....3 to end the match. After the match he hits the Trip To The Batcave for good measure. Standard squash to make Booger look menacing.
Time of match: 55 seconds
Winner: Booger by pinfall
We're sent to a vignette for Thurman "Sparky" Plugg driving a racecar with 80's sounding music. Not exactly the coolest presentation. Anyway, Sparky says he's on his way to the World Wrestling Federation. Who thought we needed a race car driver in WWF? "Hollywood" Bob Holly was just fine in Smoky Mountain. On to the next match.
Match 4
Barry Hardy vs Owen Hart (with Bret Hart)
Things are back to normal for Bret and Owen who patched things up over the holidays. Now they have their sights set on The Quebecers at the Royal Rumble. Owen will be in single's action. Bell rings and Owen starts with a headlock before dropping Barry with a shoulderblock. Owen reverses a hiptoss and hits an armdrag. Owen works over Barry's left arm as we get an insert promo from the Hart brothers. Owen says they're coming for the Quebecers and Bret says they're gonna find out the hard way that they mean business. Owen in the ring hits an enziguiri and a monkey flip as Stan Lane says neither Hart mentioned they're in the Rumble match. Owen hits a gut-wrench suplex and goes up to the top rope. Owen hits a missile dropkick and locks in the sharpshooter. Barry gives it up and Owen wins it. Bret and Owen celebrate in the ring as Vince says they're re-united. Bret and Owen watch themselves on the big screen for the replay.
Time of match: 1:46
Winner: Owen by submission
We go to the Royal Rumble report where Todd wishes everyone a happy new year. He shills the Royal Rumble coming up on Saturday night January 22nd. He runs down the rules and mentions the 18 Superstars already in...Bret Hart, Crush, Kamala, Owen Hart, Doink The Clown, Mabel from Men on a Mission, Scott Steiner, Shawn Michaels, Diesel, Adam Bomb, Bam Bam Bigelow, Randy Savage, 123 Kid, Samu, Fatu, Rick Steiner, Bob Backlund and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine. We got nine more to list. Todd says the Smoking Gunns, Rick Martel, Bastion Booger, Marty Jannetty, Mo from Men on a Mission, Double J Jeff Jarrett, Ludvig Borga and Tatanka. He says we'll find out the final three entrants next week, with the results of the Lex Luger poll still to come. Todd says President Jack Tunney is getting antsy over the overwhelming support for Lex Luger. Finally Todd plugs the main event, The Undertaker vs WWF Champion Yokozuna in a Casket Match. We get sent to The Undertaker's workshop where Paul Bearer says its a new year, a time to look to the past but also to the future. Bearer says 1994 is the year of the casket, ohhhh yesssssssss. The Undertaker "I've made my new years resolution, Yokozuna. May you rest in peace." Back to Todd, he explains the rules of the casket match and then plugs the tag title match between The Hart Brothers vs Quebecers, Ludvig Borga vs Tatanka and IRS vs Razor Ramon for the IC title strap. Todd "Stay where you are....unless you're in a dangerous situation so move." Todd says Ludvig Borga is next in action. Undertaker is definitely being booked as a monster against Yokozuna instead of the underdog, and it works.
Match 5
Ludvig Borga vs John Crystal
Speaking of Borga vs Tatanka coming up, here comes Borga to end the show. Vince on commentary wishes everyone a happy new year but Borga attacks Crystal before the bell even rings, causing Tony Chimel to head for the hills. Borga whips Crystal off and takes his head off with a lariat. Borga taunts the crowd as we get an insert promo from Tatanka. Tatanka says he has two opprtunities to get revenge on Borga, referencing they're both in the Rumble match as well. Borga choke bombs Crystal and tells referee Jack Doan to stick it. Vince says the Rumble match might be first before their match (YEAH RIGHT!) as Ludvig headbutts Crystal down. Vince says Tatanka has "oodles of pride" as Borga hits a modified end of the trail to mock Tatanka. Vince brings up that next week we'll find out the final 3 Rumble entrants as Borga uppercuts Crystal in the ribs. Borga hooks in the torture rack and Crystal gives it up to end the match. Standard squash in which we learned the final 3 entrants will be announced next week and Tatanka wants to beat up Borga twice.
Time of match: 2:03
Winner: Borga by submission
We're sent to face to face with good ol Jim Ross who wishes everyone a happy new year. Ross plugs the Rumble and the entrants before sending us to Shawn Michaels. Michaels says he was blessed as a young boy and now he's the most talented man. He says everyone is jealous of him and he has no friends. Ross asks about Diesel and Shawn says he's his one buddy and he'll step over the top rope for Shawn. Ross asks about Jeff Jarrett and Shawn says it would be great for everyone to step in the ring with him but don't get greedy. Ross asks about Macho Man Randy Savage the two time World Champion and Shawn replies that Savage is a legend but his days are numbered. Shawn says Randy used to be great but is now a thing of the past. Ross asks about Bret Hart and Shawn says he's better than Bret and 29 others. Shawn says he proves he's the best of all but never gets a title shot. He says after the Rumble they'll have no choice but to give it to him. Ross signs off and says to order the Rumble.
Promotional consideration paid for by the following.....WWF Rage in The Cage for Sega CD. Vince signs off and says next week Razor Ramon, Jeff Jarrett, Bret Hart and Yokozuna will be there next week. Yoko will be in a handicap match as we sign off.
Well that was a big bucket of meh after the first match, but that was par for the course at the time. Luger wiping out the tag team champions is classic booking to look strong. Everything else was standard squashes and Rumble hype. Lex Luger was clearly going to be in the Rumble and thankfully the whole will he or won't he would be decided next week. The only question was who were the other two guys in the Rumble? The Bushwhackers were still there, you had The Heavenly Bodies, Rock N Roll Express and Well Dunn in Tennessee, Virgil was still on TV and there's Kwang & Thurman Plugg still to make their debuts. We'll find out next week. So as last week's All-American mentioned, there is no episode of All-American this week. It was pre-empted by some movie marathon on USA. Wrestling Challenge was still on schedule the next day so I'll see you there.
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