WWE Raw (3/24/25)

WWE Raw

Ovo Hydro

Glasgow, Scotland

March 24, 2025

Commentators: Michael Cole and Pat McAfee

Ring Announcer: Alicia Taylor

We're 26 days from Wrestlemania 41 and last week in Belgium established John Cena's heel turn....sort of. He had an epic rant against the fans he's probably wanted to go off on for years but he never revealed why he joined The Rock or attacked Cody for that matter. Tonight may shed more light on the subject since they're supposed to both be here. We also got a men's Intercontinental title showdown between Bron Breakker and Penta, a women's IC title match between Lira Valkyria and Raquel Rodriguez along with Dragon Lee vs Chad Gable.

We're shown CM Punk, Liv Morgan, Raquel Rodriguez, Lira Valkyria, Rey Mysterio Jr, Penta, Bron Breakker and Dragon Lee all ariving. After an unusually long silence, here comes John Cena. Let's see if Glasgow can get as loud as Belgium....and its not even close. The "John Cena sucks" chant is loud but not THAT loud. Cena stares at a little kid in Cena merch waiving at him and blows him off to walk to the ring. Maybe now we'll get an answer why he joined The Rock. Cena says the crowd seems like it has something to say. Cena says they're ready to do their worst because the spotlight has been turned on them. He says he can pick apart anyone and no one is safe and last week he put a kid on blast. He laughs that his face was everywhere and the crowd loved it. The "Fuck you Cena" chants start as McAfee is glad to hear it. Cena laughs and says he's the one guy that actually the truth and everyone else just uses profanity. Cena says they're all horrible people for laughing at the little kid and he's going to make them pay for the 25 years of abuse. Cena says he paid attention as the crowd chants "Shut the fuck up" and says they make it so easy. Cena says he's been paying attention, learning and putting up with their childish nursery rhymes. John says they know nothing about him and he knows more about them then they do, their lives are sad. John says this is the best they're gonna get but to him, they're just an experiment, rats in a cage. John says pick out any moment of his career and he'll tell you how he played the crowd and shoots down the "what" chant by saying fans desperately want to matter. He said April of 2005 he gave the crowd the WWE Championship spinner belt and they ate him alive. He goes on to say the fans weren't happy he turned the championship belt into a toy and he remembers it. He says he's going to ruin wrestling for every fan (McAfee "What?") and everyone at Wrestlemania by winning his 17th championship. Cena says he's going to make everyone forget about Ric Flair and forever remember John Cena, even worse, he's going to win the championship and retire with it. Cena says he's taking the belt home with him and leaving them to create a toy belt because he's bringing it home, promising to be the last real champion. Cena says his final revenge will be ripping the fans hearts out by walking away with their title and there's nothing anyone can do to stop him. Right on cue, here comes Cody Rhodes. Cody gets in the ring and the crowd chants "Cody, Cody Rhodes" much to Cena's visible dismay. Cody "I'm sorry, what did you say?" Cody says Cena claims he's going to take the belt from the fans, but he has to go through him first. Cody says he made a mistake last week saying he wanted the old Cena, but this IS John Cena. Cody says John made a massive mistake, not hitting him but saying what he just said while Cody was in the building. The crowd chants again before Cody asks if the chanting bothers him because he doesn't have to unpack their history. Cody says Cena of all people knows how hard Cody had to work just to win the title one time and Cody mocks John saying the history of wrestling hangs in the balance because of his vanity. Cody puts the belt down and says come and take it, disrobing. Cena tosses the mic and goes to square up before walking away to a chorus of boos. Cody picks up the mic and screams "JOHN!" He takes his suit coat off and Cena walks away for a second time. Cody "One thing John, I cannot let you do it." Cody says he wants Cena to see him & the fans and his psychotic need to take the title doesn't outweigh the fans & his desire to keep it. Cody says the champ isn't walking away, the champ is here in the ring. He finishes by saying Cena walking empty ended right now will be Cena walking away from Wrestlemania and WWE the same way. Not as epic as last week and more of the same, really. Cena still hasn't explained why he joined The Rock. Its as if The Rock was never there. Hopefully they explain it soon because we're getting closer to Wrestlemania.

Moving on to Cole & McAfee at the announce desk shilling Raw Recap tomorrow before hyping up tonight's IC title match. We're shown last Monday where Bron Breakker defeated Finn Balor with Finn upset with Judgment Day. Its the Damian Priest face turn all over again only with Finn. Now its time to yeet as Jey Uso makes his way to the ring for the tag team match against A-Town Down Under. He was supposed to have a mystery partner but there's no mystery. Jimmy Uso comes out with him for a reunion of The Usos as we go to break. Back from break we're shown Stephanie McMahon chilling with various WWE stars & legends for her upcoming ESPN show. 

Match 1

A-Town Down Under (Grayson Waller & Austin Theory) vs The Usos (Jimmy & Jey)

Not like an un-anounced reunion of one of the greatest tag teams in WWE history to take on Waller & Theory. Bell's gone and Jey starts with Theory. Jey starts with a shoulderblock on Theory as Cole says this is the Uso's first tag team match just the two of them since Money In The Bank 2023. Jey blocks an arm-drag and hits a clothesline, forcing Austin to retreat to the corner to tag in a reluctant Waller. Waller goes for a kick but Jey uppercuts him in the corner. Hey hits a dropkick and tags in Jimmy to a big pop. A double elbow followed by a double elbow drop and double clothesline over the top to the floor. The Usos's throw Theory over the top as well. Jimmy dives over the top onto Waller & Theory before Jimmy throws Waller inside. Cole says Jimmy was victorious in a tag team match this past Friday in Italy. Jimmy uppercuts Waller and covers for 1...2...no. Jimmy chops Waller as Cole brings up Jey should be feeling good about having Jimmy in his corner against Gunther.....which may not be the case since it was Jimmy that cost Jey at Summerslam two years ago. Jimmy chops Waller as Theory blind tags in. Jimmy punches Waller on the floor but Theory hits a loud forearm to Jimmy. That looked REAL as we go to break. Back from commercial Waller has a chinlock on Jimmy. Jimmy fights out of it but Waller sends Jey off the apron. Waller dives inside the ring and runs into a Samoan drop by Jimmy. Theory tags in but Jey gets the hot tag. Jey cleans house of both heels and slugs away at Theory, hitting the Yeet Punch. Jey hits a step up enziguiri and yeets, hitting the Umaga to Theory. He superkicks Waller then Theory, covering Austin for 1...2....no. Jey's samoan drop is blocked and Waller makes a blind tag. Jey eata a double forearm and double punch. Waller covers for 1...2...no. Waller hops up on the second rope but misses the elbow drop. Jimmy gets the tag and they hit a double samoan drop before Jimmy goes up top. He kicks Theory away but gets crotched by Waller. Waller walks into a superkick but Theory tags in. Waller gets speared by Jey and Austin runs right into 1D. Jey covers for 1...2....3 to win the match. Waller & Theory are glorified jobbers at this point but the match was at least watchable. The Uso's having a one night reunion was fun as they celebrate in the ring.

Time of match:

Winners: The Uso's by pinfall

The celebration is shortlived as Gunther hits the ring, shitcanning Jimmy outside. Jey cuts him off and they slug it out in the center of the ring. Jey catches Gunther with two superkicks to send him into the corner. Jey trips up on the spear attempt and Gunther dives on top of him, hitting forearm after forearm. Jimmy grabs a chair and chases off Gunther as Cole says that Jey has been slipping up lately. Either Jey botched again and Gunther thought very fast on his feet or that was supposed to happen to try to hide the fact Jey has been a botchfest lately. Either way a lot of fans aren't happy on social media with Jey getting the push despite his botches.

We cut to Raquel Rodriguez warming up for her title match with Liv Morgan next to her. Carlito and Dom Mysterio show up with Dom looking down. Apparently Finn isn't happy but Liv says that's just him being himself. Liv says things are looking up because she beat Jade Cargill and Raquel is about to be IC champion. Dom "Double champ!" Carlito says its his turn to challenge for the IC title as Liv tells Dom to talk to Penta again. Dom says Finn doesn't want him and Liv says Finn didn't want her either and it worked out. Liv butterfly kisses his nose and she walks off with Raquel. Carlito says Dom brought him in as well and it worked out, but doesn't have another apple for Dom. Carlito is trying to play the dumbass like R-Truth did last year but its not funny most of the time. 

Cole says tomorrow night Stephanie Vaquer is pulling double duty tomorrow night on NXT as she faces Jaida Parker for the NXT Women's title and Fallon Henley for the Women's North American title as well. We cut to Lira Valkyria getting some last minute love from Bayley as she heads to the ring. Adam Pearce is shown talking to Rey Mysterio and Dragon Lee as we go to break. Back from commercial we get a fake vignette of the history of lucha libre before highlighting El Grande Americano as the greatest of all time from the Gulf of America. He was blackballed by jealous promoters and disappeared. Now he's back to bring Lucha Libre back to its former glory. We cut to Adam Pearce with a disgusted Dragon Lee and Mysterio. Rey asks what the hell was that and Pearce rolls his eyes saying that's the newest member of the Raw roster, El Grande Americano. Rey says that's just Chad Gable but Chad himself walks in saying he's wrong. Gable says he's physically similar but he doesn't have the energy to argue because he's sick. He hands Adam Pearce a doctor's note and Pearce says its legit. Rey says they don't need a match, they'll see him in the parking lot. Chad says he has a replacement, El Grande Americano and Rey doesn't like it. Pearce says his hands are tied but Lee says he'll take the match anyway. Rey calls Gable a jackass and Pearce mocks him for the doctor's note. Gable coughs and Cole says he should be wearing a mask, not the luchador kind.

Actor Richard Gadd from Baby Reindeer is in the crowd as Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez are in the ring, time for the next match. Liv Morgan's bodyguard gets a crack at the IC champ and this has all the vibes of Razor Ramon vs Diesel with Shawn Michaels from 31 years ago only in female form.

Match 2

Raquel Rodriguez (with Liv Morgan) vs Lira Valkyria for the WWE Women's Intercontinental Championship

Bell's gone and Lira gets a quick go-behind. Raquel flings her across the ring then does a modified giant swing. Cole says Lira has a problem with bigger women as she gets heaved into the corner by Raquel. Lira's up and over is blocked but she does dropkick her in the left knee. A northern lights suplex is blocked by Raquel but Lira sunset flips her. Lira ducks under the elbow and sends Raquel through the ropes to the outside. Lira's baseball slide is blocked but she still headscissors Raquel into the announce table. Cole says Liv is failing as a coach as Lira throws Raquel in the ring. She jumps right into a big boot as McAfee says "HOLY HELLLL WHAT...A..BOOT!" as we go to commercial. Back from break Raquel grabs Lira by the hair and delivers a Blanchard Bomb for 1...2....no. Raquel pushes Lira's face and drags her to the corner. Raquel taunts the crowd but misses the skytwister press. Lira hops up on the top rope and hits a legdrop. She rolls Raquel over and covers for 1...2..no. Lira picks up Raquel but she slides out of it, clotheslining Lira in the back. Raquel hits the skytwister press and covers for 1..2....no. Raquel throws Lira head first into the buckle before placing her on the top rope. Lira's crossbody is caught in midair, but Lira turns it into a tornado DDT. She covers for 1...2...no, Liv puts Raquel's foot on the rope. Lira points at Liv and goes for Nightwing but Raquel blocks it. Lira blasts Liv with a baseball slide then counters the Tejana Bomb with a victory roll for 1....2....3 to win the match. Lira survives with an upset victory over the much larger Raquel. Lira's beaten Ivy Nile and Raquel Rodriguez, eventually she's going to run out of opponents.

Time of match:

Winner: Valkyria by pinfall (still IC Champion)

Liv attacks Lira after the bell and Bayley hits the ring for the save. Bayley naps Liv off the second rope but Raquel goes for the Tejana Bomb. Bayley and Valkyria block it and dump Raquel over the top rope. Possible tag team match next week perhaps? Back to Cole and McAfee who shills Pat's new show before Pat stands up wearing a kilt. Pat says he's only renting the kilt and he's going old school in it...yuck. Cole hypes up the Clash In Paris this coming August before we get a recap highlight of the ongoing drama between Rhea Ripley, Iyo Sky and Bianca Belair. Last week Rhea Ripley powerbombed Iyo on top of Bianca and signed the contract to make it a triple threat match much to Adam Pearce's chagrin. Adam Pearce is on his way to the ring to make a decision on this as we go to break.

Back from commercial we get a highlight of HHH's rivalry with The Rock over the IC title at Summerslam 98. The Uso's are sitting on the stairs together. Jimmy asks him what's up because he's been botching left and right. Jimmy says he's out here slipping and if that keeps up, he won't win Wrestlemania. Jey says he knows and he's reminded every week that he's 3-0 (he meant 0-3) against Gunther. Jimmy says he can't beat Gunther the way things are going, but the right hand man, Main Event Jey, the Royal Rumble winner, HE can beat Gunther. Jimmy says he's got him and spots Gunther walking by. Jimmy walks up to him and says he wants him next week. Gunther says as long as he doesn't trip and fall like his brother, sure. Jimmy slaps him across the face and walks off leaving Gunther smiling.

Adam Pearce is in the ring saying they're officially on the road to Wrestlemania. Adam says the match is between Iyo Sky and Bianca Belair and the crowd boos. Adam says Rhea scribbled her signature and he assures the crowd that Ripley is not in the match. Adam says the match is Iyo and Bianca and he's been trying to get Rhea her re-match with Iyo for weeks but Bianca winning Elimination Chamber put her as number one contender. Pearce says Rhea only wants it on her time and therefor....and here comes World Women's Champion Iyo Sky. Iyo with a mic says she doesn't care about contracts and will take on both Rhea & Bianca because she's World Women's Champion. Cole "Yeah you tell em Iyo". Pearce goes to say something but here comes Bianca Belair to interrupt. Bianca says she earned the number one contenders spot and says she's not going to let Rhea into the match because she didn't earn it. Pearce goes to answer again but here comes Rhea Ripley. Pearce "Good god almighty!" Pat "Mami's here!" Rhea says she doesn't give a damn about Wrestlemania or who she has to go through to get her title back. Rhea wants her rematch and Adam goes "Oh NOW you want a rematch." Bianca says Rhea waited 3 weeks already so she can wait three more. Bianca goes nose to nose with Rhea and Iyo tries to butt in, only to get piefaced by Rhea. Here we go again! Iyo throws the belt down and goes after Rhea but Adam holds her back and says "ENOUGH!" He says that next week on Raw Rhea will face Iyo for the title and the winner faces Bianca at Wrestlemania. He tells them to have a good night, throws the mic down and storms out. Bianca kicks the mic out of the way and Iyo hits a tornado DDT on Rhea. They brawl in the ring and Iyo hits a head scissors to Rhea out of the ring. Bianca does a KOD on Iyo over the top onto Rhea and stands tall at the end. The interesting thing is the crowd booed Bianca here, but that could have been just a Scotland thing. The crowd was behind Iyo there but let's see how that looks when we get back to the States.

We cut to Penta warming up for his IC title match when Dominik Mysterio walks up to recruit him for Judgment Day. Penta goes to answer but Dom cuts him off to say he could be IC champ tonight. We get a graphic for the match as we go to break. Back from commercial we get a vignette on the World Tag Team Champions the War Raiders just to let us know they're still there. Love how Smackdown's tag team division is featured every week but the War Raiders are barely ever on TV. We cut to New Day demanding Adam Pearce for a tag team title match at Wrestlemania. The already irate Pearce goes off saying if they came in asking for a match next week to prove himself, that would have been fine. Instead "Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya." Woods says check your blood pressure and Adam says bring him a glass of water. Suddenly Bianca walks in and asks who she's facing at Wrestlemania and Pearce makes her the special guest referee. Bianca "I don't know how to referee" Pearce "You got a week to figure it out, thank you for dropping by. Drive safe." Cole "Pearce has lost it." Hahahaha Pearce has been the best part of the night hands down.

We cut to the ring with Dragon Lee in the ring for his match with "El Grande Americano" and the most stereotypical Mexican music hits. Here we go.

Match 3

Dragon Lee vs El Grande Americano

That's definitely Chad Gable under the mask and he's billed from "Gulf of America" to really rub it in. Cole "Google has everything and they've never heard of this guy." Dragon rushes him but Americano Olympic wrestles circles around him, yeah we know who this is. Lee gets knocked off the apron and Gab....Americano runs into a hurracarna. Lee hits a suicide dive through the ropes and rolls him inside. Lee goes for the mask but Cha....Americano chops him. Grande hits a hurracarana and a headbutt before covering for 1...2...no. The crowd chants Ole as Lee hits a knee to the head on the apron. Americano htis a Taz-plex from the apron to the floor, ouch! Back from commercial Lee fights his way into a victory roll for 1..2...no. Lee hits a big high knee and goes for a superplex to the floor, but Americano fights back. Lee hits a coup de gras on the top rope onto a hanging Americano, hurting his knee in the process. Between the Taz plex on the floor and now that, they're playing with fire here. Both men get back in the ring at the count of nine and they play "yay/boo" in the center of the ring. They chop each other and Lee hits a german suplex followed by a superkick on Grande. Lee is overhead suplexed into the buckle and Grande covers for 1...2..no. Gable goes for the moonsault but lands on his feet and Lee counters with a sitout powerbomb for 1...2..no. Lee puts Grande on the top rope but suddenly Grande rips Lee's mask off. Lee rolls around on the floor holding his face and Chad Grande applies the ankle lock. Lee taps out and this one's over. That was a dangerous match but a lot of fun. Definitely didn't see that ending coming.

Time of match: 8:55

Winner: Americano by submission

McAfee says if Americano keeps this up, he'll be hall of fame bound. Cole wishes Gable recovers before we get a clip of Gunther ripping on the LFG recruits in character. We then get a recap of the recent Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns/CM Punk drama. Reigns stood tall at the end of Smackdown and its official, a triple threat for Wrestlemania has been signed.

Here comes CM Punk for a conference as we go to break. Back from break Punk is in the ring and gets a big pop. Punk says its great to be in Glasgow but he's not in a good mood. He claims he's jet lagged and hasn't slept well mostly due to his road to Wrestlemania. Punk says what he wants, he's not getting...or is he! He wanted to win the Rumble, he didn't. He needed to win the Chamber, but he didn't. He says the more things change, the more things stay the same "I work with children". For those that don't know he infamously said that line when describing the AEW booking team while he was there. Punk calls Seth Rollins a diaper baby and he screwed him at Elimination Chamber which doesn't get him what he wants. Punk says its personal between Rollins and Reigns but for him, its just business. Punk says they gotta go and Rollins has been crying since Punk's shadow belittles him. Punk acknowledges Roman is taking things too personal and its because his wise man isn't just HIS wise man. Punk says this is just business and business takes him to London this Friday for a contract signing. The crowd boos and Punk asks why. He then says they wanted it here tonight and the crowd cheers. Punk says he did too and that's why he's here. He doesn't want to wait to read the fine print and says this better be a stepping stone to what he wants or else it'll be just another rug pull from the powers that be. Punk says Seth and Romans to fuel their jets and he'll see them in London. Punk says listen to two things. First, neither of them have ever beaten him without the other's help. The second thing is he brought them into the business and he can't wait that takes them out of it. He signs off saying "Best in the world." Bottom line is Punk wants a WWE Championship title shot and if they do decide to have Cena beat Cody, Punk makes the perfect opponent to possibly take it from Cena. He also brought up some continuity as it was Punk who brought The Shield to the main roster in 2012.

Cole says next week's show will be at 3 PM Eastern since London is five hours ahead. Logan Paul pops up to say he's going to be in London and he wants AJ Styles for embarrassing him at Madison Square Garden. Also next week we get Jimmy Uso vs Gunther and yet another Cody Rhodes and John Cena promo. Hopefully this time John will explain The Rock's influence. Iyo Sky defends the World title against Rhea Ripley with Bianca as the special guest referee. 

We cut to Cathy Kelley with IC Champ Bron Breakker and asks what he thinks of Judgment Day recruiting Penta. Bron says that doesn't concern him because he's going to beat Penta for one reason, because the dogs are barking. He heads to the ring for our main event as we go to commercial. Back from break, its time for the match.

Match 4

Penta vs Bron Breakker for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

Penta hasn't officially joined Judgment Day so this may be on the level. Bell rings and Penta gets a go-behind as Cole says Penta lasted the longest at 42 minutes in the Royal Rumble. Penta ducks a line and kicks Bron in the leg twice. Breaker runs the ropes like a freight train and runs over Penta with a clothesline. Breakker shoulderblocks Penta in the corner but eats a hurracarana. Penta caters to the crowd as Bron bails to the apron. Penta jumps into a knee and falls to the floor. Bron hits a Steiner Line from the apron to the announce table but here comes Carlito and Dom Mysterio as we go to break. Back from commercial Penta chops Bron in the chest and he no-sells it. Bron forearms Penta down and Penta rallies with forearms of his own. Penta runs right into a right hand but Bron runs into a superkick. Breakker gets a knee up but runs right into another superkick. Penta kicks Bron in the head and back before doing a modified bulldog. Penta runs into a big right hand and Bron goes for a fireman's carry, but Penta hits a backstabber much to Carlito's delight. Penta calls for the Mexican Destroyer but Bron turns it into a military gut buster, covering for 1....2..no. Bron says its over and calls for the spear, running into a superkick. Penta puts Bron on the second rope but Penta hits a top rope hurracarana. Penta hits a hilo to the floor as the crowd chants this is awesome. Penta calls for the Destroyer and hits it, covering for 1...2....NOOOOO. Penta spots Dom and Carlito on the floor but doesn't look like he wants them out there. Penta goes to the second rope and Bron scales the rope for the Frankensteiner, hitting it. He covers for 1...2...no. Breakker pulls his straps down and says this one's over. Dom hops up on the apron to distract the ref so Carlito hops up on the other side. Bron heaves Carlito in the ring and spears him. Dom chopblocks Bron for the DQ finish and this ones over. Good match but the BS finish was to establish Judgment Day as a threat. Penta will get another shot down the road for sure.

Time of match: 11:26

Winner: Breakker by DQ (Still IC Champion)

Post match Dom beats on Bron until Breakker starts fighting back. All of a sudden Finn Balor appears out of thin air and waffles Bron in the back with a chair. Finn clocks Bron with the chair, teases hitting Dom and tosses him the chair. Dom pounds Breakker with the chair as Penta is confused. Dom hands the chair to Penta and tells him to hit Bron. Penta teases hitting Breakker and tosses it to Dom. Penta superkicks Dom to a massive pop but Balor puts the boots to Penta. Balor hits Breakker with the chair again, goes up top and hits the coup de gras. Balor pulls Dom to his feet and they stand tall over Penta as we end the show.

Really not liking these four match cards this close to Wrestlemania with 3 hours to work with, but at least the matches are good and treated as important. We're 26 days away and most of the card is set, especially on the Raw side. Logan Paul vs AJ Styles is all but official but it'll be interesting to see how the World Women's Championship will play out. All signs point to a triple threat but you never know. Again, the matches tonight were great but the Cody/Cena thing just didn't hit the same this time. Hopefully they do something different next week. Chad Gable pulling a Mr. America is starting to get over one way or another and Penta turning down Judgment Day means a possible Penta/Balor match soon. All in all it wasn't a bad show, just too much down time. The next show after this is tomorrow night's NXT. I'll see you there.

WWE Smackdown (11/14/02)

WWE Smackdown

Nationwide Arena

Columbus, Ohio

November 14, 2002

Commentators: Michael Cole & Tazz

Ring Announcer: Tony Chimel

We're three days away from Survivor Series and pretty much the Smackdown portion of Survivor Series is set. We got Brock Lesnar defending the WWE strap against Big Show, we got a triple threat tag team title match with Edge and Rey Mysterio Jr taking on both Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit and Los Guerreros, and finally Billy Kidman gets a shot at Jamie Noble for the Cruiserweight title. What could possibly happen tonight just days out from the ppv? Let's find out.....after the obligatory dark matches.

Dark Match 1

Chris Kanyon vs Renee Dupree

Kanyon was rehabbing his shoulder injury and he's up against the 18 year old son of Canadian wrestling promoter Emile Dupree. Kanyon takes it with a flatliner.

Winner: Kanyon by pinfall

Dark Match 2

Val Venis and Nova vs Shelton Benjamin and Lance Cade

Wow, where the hell did they dig up Nova? Well if you're gonna have the OVW guys like Benjamin and Cade, may as well have experienced vets in Venis and Nova as opposition. Benjamin pinned Nova to win the match.

Winners: Benjamin and Cade by pinfall

Now let's start the show.....with the montage of "You can't beat the Big Show". Mark "Dorkus Malorkus" Lloyd catches up with Paul Heyman and asks how Brock Lesnar is doing. Heyman says ask about the Undertaker, he hasn't been seen since Big Show threw him off stage. Lesnar has a broken rib and he's been coughing up blood all week. The difference between Lesnar and everyone else is Brock will defend the title anyway. What he WON'T do is show up tonight on Smackdown based on doctor's orders and his own. Big Show walks up behind Heyman and says if Brock shows up, he's calling him out. Cole and Tazz welcome us and say Kurt Angle vs Chris Benoit is tonight's main event. Let's get to the first match.

Match 1

Edge vs Chavo Guerrero Jr

Eddie Guerrero won the triple threat match at Super Tuesday but Edge gets Chavo one on one tonight. Because of Chavo's interference to help Eddie win, both Eddie and Rey Mysterio Jr are barred from ringside. Edge starts with an armbar before Chavo runs into a back elbow. Chavo gets hiptossed, taken down and arm-barred. Cole babbles on about Brock Lesnar but Edge runs into a dropkick. Chavo clotheslines Edge over the top rope to the floor. Edge shoulderblocks Chavo on the apron and flips over the suplex attempt. Edge sends Chavo off the buckle into a flapjack. Edge covers for a deuce as wee see Rey watching from the back. Edge gets backdropped on the apron but gets crotched on the second rope by Chavo. Tazz picks Angle and Benoit to win this Sunday. Chavo clotheslines Edge and covers for a deuce as Cole says also tonight, Eddie takes on Mysterio. Chavo gets in a wristlock but Edge powers out of it. Chavo counters Edge-O-Matic with a back suplex then goes up to the top rope. Chavo flies right into a dropkick by Edge. Edge backdrops Chavo and rallies with a clothesline. Edge hits a forearm and Edge-O-Matic for a two count, Edge slaps and chops Chavo in the corner then punches him down. Edge goes for the spear but misses, eating the second buckle. Chavo hits a spear of his own and covers for 1...2....nope. Chavo boots Edge in the ribs and goes for a sunset flip. Edge counters with a slingshot onto the second rope. Edge blocks the tornado DDT and hits the Edgecution. Edge covers for 1...2...3 to win the match. Damn good effort by both guys with counters and precision. Edge fires the first salvo tonight in the tag title war by beating Chavo.

Time of match: 6:04

Winner: Edge by pinfall

In the back, Dorkus Malorkus asks Rey how he's going to do against Eddie. Rey says he's glad that Edge beat Chavo and he knows Eddie better than anyone. He then stops the interview as Brock Lesnar is coming. Rey asks how his ribs are and Lesnar says he's fine. Malorkus asks how he's doing and Lesnar says to get the hell out of his face. We go to commercial with the fact that Lesnar IS here tonight.

Back from break Al Wilson is reading a bridal magazine when Dawn Marie walks up and kisses him. Dawn says she's a lucky girl and will be Mrs. Al Wilson on their wedding day. She wants Al to invite Torrie to the wedding and she should be one of the first to invite. Al doesn't know if he should but Dawn convinces him to go talk to her.

Cut to Brock Lesnar and Heyman. Heyman is irate that he's even here and Big Show is going to maul him. Heyman says without him, Brock beat Eddie Guerrero but got demolished by Show. They're supposed to be a team but he can't protect him if he doesn't listen to him. Heyman says he hasn't been listening since Hell in A Cell and Brock says yeah, Show did throw him off the apron but Heyman wasn't there. Heyman says Show is too big and too bad and not to engage him. "He's going to rip you limb from limb and there's nothing we can do about it, we're three days away from Survivor Series. Heyman pleads with him to listen to his idea. Naturally we fade to black before we find out what the idea was. Once again, they're trying to set up Hogan/Andre and it would have worked if Show wasn't booked like a jobber for a year. Back from break its on to the next match.

Match 2

John Cena and Matt Hardy vs Rikishi and Tajiri

This week's Mattitude fun fact is Matt was the Fear Factor champion. He also loves guacamole. Cena is still coming out to the generic theme with prototype trunks. Tajiri starts with Hardy and he drops V1 with arm drags but gets shoved down by Matt. Tajiri hits a hurracarana but Matt gets a thumb to the eye. Cena tags in and drops Tajiri with an elbow before covering for a deuce. Hardy tags in and they double team Tajiri in the corner. Cena and Hardy hit a double suplex and Cena covers for two, but Tajiri hits a rolling neckbreaker to make the tag to Rikishi. Rikishi hits a samoan drop on Cena and elbows Matt in the corner. Rikishi whips Hardy into Cena in the corner and Rikishi avalanches them both. Hardy falls out of the ring and Tajiri buzz kicks Cena, knocking him down in the corner. Rikishi goes for the stink face but runs right into side effect. Cena covers for 1...2...nope. Cole starts babbling about Big Show as Hardy beats down Rikishi in the corner. Hardy chokes Rikishi on the second rope then locks in a front headlock. Rikishi backdrops him and Tajiri tags in. Tajiri and Hardy drop each other with a double face plant but Matt's arm is on top of Tajiri for 1...2...3 to win the match. Interesting way to end the match. Matt grabs Cena and celebrates as Cena puts him on his shoulders, hahahaha. Matt gets one over on Rikishi and Tajiri.

Time of match: 3:18

Winners: Cena and Hardy by pinfall

In the back Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit are bickering again. Angle says its all Benoit's fault they lost the titles. Benoit says Angle got pinned twice and wants to know how that happened. Angle says he hates Benoit's guts but loves being a champion. He says he's going to take his aggressions out on Benoit and Chris mocks him for that. Benoit says the last two times they fought, Benoit won. Kurt "You watch your mouth, young man!" (Kurt is actually a year younger than him) Kurt says he's the team captain and Benoit says he apologizes and says he beat the team captain twice. Kurt "Yeah....well I have more teeth than you." Chris "Well I have more hair than you." Benoit says he's 11 times better than him and Kurt says he's an Olympic gold medalist. Chris has no counter for that and says he's going to beat him tonight. Kurt does the finger up to the nose trick and walks off. That was pretty funny.

Back from commercial we get a Scott Steiner is coming vignette and Paul Heyman walking in to Big Show's room. Heyman wants Show not to call out Lesnar because he's too young to understand. Heyman says he himself says he knows he's beaten The Rock, Undertaker and Hulk Hogan in his prime. Heyman says Show broke Brock's rib and asks a professional courtesy to lay off Brock until Survivor Series. Show says that Lesnar has one good thing going for him, Paul. Show says he might not call him out....but maybe he will. Heyman leaves. Again, I like how they're making Show a monster but its a year too late.

Los Guerreros walk up to Edge and Rey Mysterio. Eddie calls them flying squirrels. Eddie says after tonight, they're going to win at Survivor Series. Eddie and Rey insult each other in Spanish and Eddie mocks hiding behind Chavo. Edge says let's go right here, right now. Edge insults Eddie in Spanish as well and we cut here. Back from break its on to the next match.

Match 3

Eddie Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio Jr

The big Halloween Havoc 97 rematch. Bell rings and they circle to start. Eddie and Rey chain wrestle but Eddie gets the chinlock applied. Eddie drops Rey with a shoulderblock but Rey hits a backdrop, dropkick and an armdrag. Eddie fights out of it and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He covers for two and locks in an arm-bar. Eddie works over the left arm as the crowd chants "Eddie sucks". Eddie stomps away on Rey in the corner but Rey tries to kick his way out. Rey hits a second rope hurracarana then they trade hammerlocks. Rey snap mares Eddie then monkey flips him. He calls for the 619 but Eddie moves to cause Rey to hit referee Brian Hebner instead (hahahahaha). Chavo Guerrero Jr runs down with the ref out and hits Rey with the Gory Special. Edge runs in and chases Chavo out of there. Eddie hits a powerbomb and stacks Mysterio for 1...2...nope. Edge spears Eddie and is knocked outside by Chavo. Edge sends Chavo into the barricade as Hebner tells them both to get lost. The other referees run down to get Chavo and Edge out of there. Eddie runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker of his own by Rey. Rey hits the bronco buster in the corner and goes up to the top rope. Eddie shoves him off the top to the floor and wits. Eddie hits the plancha on Rey and rolls him back inside. Eddie hits a back suplex and goes up to the top rope. Rey runs up and hits a superplex. Rey covers for 1.....2...nope. Rey hits an armdrag but Eddie clotheslines him down. Eddie locks in an arm-bar but Rey fights out of it, only for Eddie to rally with forearms. Eddie puts Rey on the top rope but Rey elbows him off. Rey hits the moonsault and covers for 1...2..no. Eddie catches a second rope moonsault attempt but Rey hits an armdrag out of it. Rey baseball slides Eddie outside and Rey hits a slingshot hilo. Cole says Rey's got a bad knee but Mysterio still hits the springboard legdrop back inside. Rey covers for 1....2...no. Eddie hits a vertical suplex on Rey and taunts the irate crowd. Eddie goes up to the top rope but flips over Rey. Rey hits a heel kick to the chin of Eddie and hits the 619. Rey calls for the West Coast Pop but Eddie stands up, forcing Rey to go to the sunset flip. Eddie rolls out of it and applies the El Paso Lasso, holding the rope for leverage. Rey taps and this one's over. Not as epic as Halloween Havoc but still a damn good match against two guys that have great chemistry.

Time of match: 6:11

Winner: Guerrero by submission

Backstage Al Wilson walks into Torrie Wilson but she blows him off. Al walks into the women's room anyway to talk about it. Torrie says Dawn Marie is using him to get to her. She calls Dawn a conniving, manipulative bitch. Al wants to invite her to the wedding but she can't do it. Torrie says she won't go because he's being played. Torrie says there's no way to say this nicely but there's no fool like an old fool. She's got a point. Back from break, its on to the next match.

Match 4

Billy Kidman vs Jamie Noble (with Nidia)

Non-title match as Kidman gets his title shot at Survivor Series....kind of makes this match pointless. They brawl at the bell and Kidman gets backdropped on the apron. Nidia pulls him off and Noble baseball slides Billy. Noble rolls Kidman inside and covers for a near fall. Noble works the left arm in the corner and dropkicks it. Noble arm drags Kidman and locks in a keylock. Kidman punches his way out of it and flapjacks Jamie. Kidman clotheslines Noble and backdrops him. Kidman hits a dropkick and covers for 1.....2...nope. Kidman sends Noble into the corner but blocks the clothesline, kicks Kidman and hits the tiger bomb. Noble stacks him but Kidman sunset flips for 1...2...no. Noble goes up to the top but Kidman dropkicks him. Noble rolls over Kidman and goes for the Razor's Edge. Kidman rolls out of it and hits a modified Sky High. He drags Noble to the corner and goes upstairs. Nidia distracts the ref so Noble can punch Kidman. Noble hits a top rope superplex but Kidman rolls over on top for 1...2.....3 to win the match. Kidman gets Noble two weeks in a row, will the third time be a charm this Sunday? Decent crash style match and it puts over that Kidman has Noble's number right now.

Time of match: 3:17

Winner: Kidman by pinfall

 

Back to Dawn Marie who walks up to Al Wilson. Al is distraught about his "little angel" and she doesn't want to go to the wedding. Dawn comes on to him an says they're going to be just fine. They hug and she grins evily. They gave this crap THREE segments. We cut to Heyman and Lesnar and Paul says everything is going to be ok. Heyman says he looked the neanderthal right in the eye and not to call him out. Paul says Show was smart enough to listen to him and was intimidated by Paul's intelligence. Paul says to pack his bag and leave because they're all set. Brock says he's not leaving and he asks if Paul convinced Show not to call him out. Lesnar says he'll call HIM out. Heyman goes nuts as we go back to ringside for Tazz to shill the new video game Smackdown Shut Your Mouth. One of my favorite games as a teenager. 

On to the main event....and Angle grabs a mic before the match. He apologizes to his fans for being too predictable. He says he's beaten Edge, Chris Benoit, Rey Mysterio and the Guerreros so many times its become a blur. He says he's better in the ring than everyone, better athlete than Benoit, better looking than Edge, can speak English unlike the Guerreros and been through puberty unlike Rey Mysterio. He says he doesn't need Benoit, he can win the belts all alone. Los Guerreros then walk out with a mic to mock him. Eddie says Kurt is full of it and Eddie pinned Angle 1-2-3. Suddenly Edge and Rey Mysterio walk out with mics too. Edge says Kurt has lost his hair and mind because Edge beat Kurt for the belts. Rey "Hi Kurt!" Edge says the only predictable thing about Kurt is that he sucks. Kurt says he's got more talent in his little finger than all four of them combined. He knows why they're out there, they want to scout him and learn from him. Kurt says to have a seat because he's going to win the next match. He calls out Benoit as the others back away from the ramp.

Match 5

Kurt Angle vs Chris Benoit

Angle and Benoit blame each other for dropping the tag belts so they're going to take their frustrations out on each other with the other two teams watching. Bell rings and Chris gets a headlock to start.Kurt gets a doubleleg takedown but Chris rolls out of it. Chris drops Kurt with a shoulderblock but Angle ducks the line to hit a german suplex. He taunts the Guerreros but Chris uses the distraction to punch away at Kurt. Kurt still hits an overhead belly to belly suplex and once again taunts Eddie. Benoit punches Kurt and drops him with a back elbow smash. Chris covers for a deuce, hits a sidebackbreaker and covers for another two count. Chris sends Kurt into the corner then rams his head into the buckle. Chris and Kurt slug it out before Chris whips Kurt into the corner. Chris drops him with a clothesline to the back of the head and Benoit gets out of the ring to talk trash to Edge and Rey. Kurt jumps off the apron but Benoit gets a punch to the ribs. Benoit sends Angle into Rey and Edge, cleaning them out. Chris throws Benoit in and rolls back in himself. Edge wants in the ring but Rey holds him back. Benoit hits two german suplexes but Kurt blocks the third. Kurt three of his own and covers for 1...2..nooo. Kurt again taunts the Guerreros and pulls his singlet straps down. Angle goes for the Angle Slam but Chris rolls out of it and hits the crossface. Kurt grabs the legs and reverses it into the ankle lock. They roll to the corner but Benoit kicks Kurt off. Angle hits the Angle Slam and taunts the Guerreros one more time. Kurt actually locks in the El Paso Lasso to mock them and says this hold sucks. Eddie runs in and is immediately thrown over the top rope into Edge and Rey outside. Edge, Rey and the Guerreros brawl on the floor as Benoit hits a german suplex that sends Kurt flying. Then the four outside brawl into the ring and referee Mike Chioda calls for the bell. Edge sends Eddie over the top rope then Rey locks the ankle lock on Kurt with Edge joining him. Edge cuts off Benoit and puts the crossface on him but the Guerreros attack. Eddie and Chavo dump Edge and Rey but Eddie runs into the ankle lock. Benoit locks in the crossface on Edge and the refs get in the ring to break it up. This one's over....and its too bad because the match was good.

Time of match: 6:30

Winner: No one (no contest)

After the match Angle and Benoit go nose to nose and Kurt says enough. Kurt extends his hand and Chris shakes it. Kurt wants a hug and Benoit looks confused. Kurt gives him a hug and the crowd laughs. How Chris isn't laughing his ass off is beyond me. 

Backstage Heyman is trying to talk Brock out of going to the ring but Big Show looks like he's heading out there as well. Back from commercial, Tazz says Lawler didn't get Scott Steiner on Confidential, he did. Cole then runs down the card including a new match, Goldust and Hurricane vs William Regal and Lance Storm which will take place on Sunday Night Heat.

Here comes Lesnar to call out Big Show. He throws the WWE Championship down and removes his shirt. His ribs are all taped up and he grabs the mic. Lesnar says face him in the middle of the ring one on one. The crowd cheers as Heyman tries to talk Lesnar out of it. Heyman grabs the mic but Lesnar tells him to shut up much to the crowd's delight. Lesnar "Big Show, if you don't get out here. That's alright, I'll just drag your ass out." Show's music hits and here he comes. Lesnar cuts him off and sends him immediately into the steel steps, cutting Show's forearm by accident. Lesnar grabs a chair and bashes Show in the head twice then kicks away at him. Lesnar hits Show in the back twice and Show is busted wide open, that was no accident. Lesnar grabs the title belt and clocks Show with it. Show is laid out as Cole says "The giant has been slain tonight. Maybe Paul Heyman was wrong, maybe he CAN beat the Big Show." We go to a replay of what just happened as the crowd cheers Lesnar. If this was supposed to be a face turn for Brock, it worked.

We sign off with Lesnar standing tall. The sad part was the good matches on the card were cut short due to the storyline feuds. The triple threat tag match overshadowed almost the entire show except for Torrie/Dan/Al and Show/Lesnar. The fact they gave Torrie, Dawn and Al three segments is inexcusable. Still, we got our stories heading into Survivor Series. Lesnar evened the playing field a little bit to show he's not intimidated by the giant. Angle and Benoit are going to try to co-exist to win the triple threat tag match and Billy Kidman has Jamie Noble's number right now. We still got some business before Survivor Series in the form of a Saturday double shot for house shows. Raw will be in Reading, Pennsylvania this Saturday. I'll see you there.

WWE Super Tuesday (11/12/02)

WWE Super Tuesday

Fleet Center and Verizon Wireless Arena

Boston MA and Manchester, NH

November 12, 2002

Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and Tazz

Ring Announcers: Lilian Garcia and Tony Chimel

Vince has always had an obsession with shows on Tuesday whether its Tuesday In Texas or the eventual Taboo Tuesday. The problem is fans just don't want to pay more money for a Tuesday ppv. With just five days before Survivor Series, Vince decided to just have a UPN special instead much like the old Survivor Series Showdown shows. The stars of Raw and Smackdown will both participate in this special although the Raw 10 men tag was filmed last week in Boston while the triple threat match and bikini contest was filmed in Manchester. Its going to be Triple H, Christian, Chris Jericho, Rosey and Jamal against Booker T, Kane, Rob Van Dam, Jeff Hardy and Bubba Ray Dudley. Also a bikini contest between Trish Stratus and Torrie Wilson. Finally, a triple threat match between Edge, Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero. Btw, Vince is an absolute moron for not making the tag match Survivor Series style. If they weren't going to have elimination tag matches on the card, this would have been PERFECT for that. Could have had Eddie, Kurt Angle, Chavo Guerero Jr, Benoit and Big Show against Edge, Rey Mysterio Jr, Rikishi, Billy Kidman and Brock Lesnar. Oh well...

We get a cool remix of The Beautiful People and Across The Nation for the intro. Both announce teams say their hellos with dueling arenas. This entire night was filmed in advance but we're going to pretend its on the same night. Cole and Tazz sends us to Stephanie McMahon's office. She says Edge and Rey Mysterio are the new tag champs and at Survivor Series it'll be a triple threat tag team match. Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit vs Los Guerreros vs Edge and Rey Mysterio. Because of that, the triple threat match tonight will be Benoit vs Edge vs Eddie. She's going to hold on to the belts so nobody steals them. In other words, this is the kayfabe reason why Edge and Mysterio aren't holding the title belts due to the fact they hadn't won them yet when this was filmed last week.

Match 1

Eddie Guerrero vs Chris Benoit vs Edge in a Triple Threat Match

Benoit makes his entrance last as Tazz says he's mad at Kurt for dropping the tag belts. Benoit attacks Edge at the start and boots him in the corner as Eddie hides outside.  Benoit rams Edge into the corner and chops away at him. Benoit rams Edge into the other corner and chops away. Edge sends Benoit sternum first into the corner and Edge hits a back suplex. Edge hits a leg drop and covers but Eddie slides in to break up the count. Eddie kicks away at Edge and hits a back elbow smash. Benoit nails Eddie from behind and hits a back suplex on him. Benoit sends Eddie in the corner and kicks away at him before landing some chops. Edge comes in and nails both of them with right hands. Chris lands a running knee to the ribs on Edge as Tazz says Rey Mysterio goes one on one with Eddie this coming Thursday on Smackdown. Benoit and Angle will also duke it out on Smackdown as Eddie cheapshots Benoit. Eddie sends Benoit off, ducks the line and they take each other out with a double clothesline. Edge then hits a on Eddie and goes to town on Benoit. Eddie from behind hits a back suplex on Edge. Eddie goes for the El Paso Lasso on Edge but Benoit hits a dropkick. Eddie slugs Benoit and he retaliates with right hands. Edge slugs Benoit and hits a flapjack on Guerrero. Edge hits the flapjack on Benoit as well. Edge goes upstairs but Eddie cuts him off. Benoit puts Eddie on his shoulders and Edge hits a missile dropkick on Guerrero. Edge covers Eddie for 1......2..nope. Chris ducks the line and hits a german suplex on Edge but Eddie hits a suplex before covering for a deuce.  Eddie misses the frog splash off the top and Edge hits another face plant on Eddie. Benoit catches Edge with the Crippler Crossface in the middle of the ring but Chris intercepts a diving Eddie, locking him in the Crossface. Edge dropkicks both men in the face then hits Benoit with a spear. Eddie runs right into the Edgecution and Edge covers for 1...2..nooo, Chavo Guerrero Jr runs down to pull referee Mike Chioda out. Edge hits a baseball slide to knock out Chioda, Chavo and the camera guy. Chavo sends Edge into the ring post but Rey Mysterio Jr runs out to counter Chavo. Rey hits a moonsault on Chavo outside as back inside Eddie gets caught in the crossface. Kurt Angle then runs out, throws the referee in on top of Benoit to break up the hold. Angle hops up on the apron as Eddie rolls up Benoit from behind for 1...2...3 to win the match. Eddie stole that one off the distraction. That was a pretty good match despite the run ins and it set up the triple threat this coming Sunday. Eddie and Chavo celebrate in the ring as Benoit and Angle yell at each other up the ramp.

Time of match: 7:29

Winner: Guerrero by pinfall

Cole hypes up the ten men tag as Big Show is coming out later. Back from break we get a video montage of Big Show and Brock Lesnar's feud up to this point. Again, if they didn't book Show out to be a goofus for a year straight, this might of worked. After that LONG montage here comes Show himself to the ring. Show says he's quoting Paul Heyman by saying Lesnar can't beat him. He brags about hurting Lesnar and this Sunday he'll be the next WWE Champion. His music hits and he leaves....what? The montage was longer than the promo. Kind of pointless but up next is Trish vs Torrie. Back from break we shift over to Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross for a moment to hype up Raw's events. We get the elimination chamber video from Raw. What's with the montages? You can put all this stuff on the pre-show on Heat. They could have easily had Bubba Ray vs D'Von for the amount of time they wasted on video montages. Anyway, let's get to the ring.

Match 2

Torrie Wilson vs Trish Stratus

Tazz is our MC for our bikini contest. Normally these things are a waste of time since the babyface wins every time, but we got two babyfaces here so I'll treat this as an actual match. Interesting to see who the crowd picks. Cole drools over Torrie as she makes her entrance. Tazz explains the rules, they got 30 seconds to show their stuff and the audience picks the winner. Trish goes first as Tazz says this is the biggest moment of her career....what? Trish shows off her bikini and gets a good pop from the crowd. Tazz tells Cole to get Stephanie to get Trish on Smackdown. Torrie goes next and gets a much larger pop for her skin colored bikini and booty shake. Tazz asks the crowd who wins and clearly Torrie gets the larger pop but all of a sudden Nidia hits the ring and pulls out Torrie. Nidia rushes Trish and both she and Torrie fend her off. Torrie and Trish raise each other's arms in victory. Torrie got the louder pop but everyone's a winner here apparently.

Time of match: N/A

Winner: Trish Stratus and Torrie Wilson

Cole sends it to JR for the Raw portion of the show, which has about 18 minutes left of showtime. We got an interview with Shawn Michaels next. Again, we want to see wrestling, you can save all this for Heat. We get a montage of Shawn vs HHH up to this point and finally JR asks Shawn "live" via satellite what Sunday will be like. Shawn "One word...Wild, crazy, chaotic....okay that's three words. He says his motivation is simple, keep HHH from winning and ruin his life. He admits its immoral but he's doing it anyway. He doesn't know who's going to win but HHH certainly won't. Time for the main event.

Match 3

Triple H, Rosey, Jamal, Christian and Chris Jericho (with Rico and Ric Flair) vs Booker T, Kane, Rob Van Dam, Bubba Ray Dudley and Jeff Hardy in a Ten Man Tag Match

Thankfully the heel entrances are cut in favor of a video showing Jericho decimating Kane and Rob Van Dam on Monday. JR and King ask how Hardy is able to walk after being put through the table "last night" which was funny since this is clearly filmed the week before since you can see the god damned Boston Celtics banners hanging in the Fleet Center during the camera cut to the ring. Hardy starts with Jamal and Jamal starts with right hands "sup boy!" Jamal hits a backdrop on Jeff "Get your ass up boy!" Jamal tags in Christian and Hardy slides under him, takes him down and hits the between the legs legdrop. Hardy tags in Bubba who punches away at Christian. Bubba chops Christian in the chest and looks over at Jericho "I got one for you two ya punk". Christian is whipped into the corner and Bubba hits a stinger splash followed by Dusty Punches. Bubba covers for 1..2...no. The crowd chants "we want tables" as Bubba hits a flapjack on Christian. Rob Van Dam tags in and Jamal tags in as well. Van Dam kicks Jamal but Jamal misses a charges in the corner. RVD hits the top rope dropkick and moonsault for 1...2..nope. Jamal clotheslines RVD down and HHH tags in. Hunter punches him in the corner but the ref gets distracted allowing the corner beat down. Jericho tga sin and hits a back suplex on RVD. "I'm the king of the world." Jericho misses a dropkick and RVD hits rolling thunder. RVD tags in Kane who cleans house of HHH and Jericho. Then he knocks everyone else off the apron. Jericho runs into a boot as Kane double clotheslins Christian and HHH. Kane sidewalk slams HHH and goes up to the top rope. Kane hits the top rope clothesline and covers for 1.2..no, Jamal pulls him off. Pier Six brawl outside with only RVD and Christian in the ring. RVD takes out Christian then heel kicks Jericho. Jericho turns a flip into the Walls of Jericho but Booker T hits the axe kick. Booker hits the scissors kick on Y2J and does the spinaroonie. Christian hits the reverse ddt but walks into the Bubba Bomb by Bubba Ray. Jeff Hardy hits the swanton on Christian but Rosey sends Jeff into Jamal for the samoan drop. Bubba cleans out Rosey but eats superkick from Jamal. Kane grabs Jamal and chokeslams him off the top rope. HHH runs in and goes for the pedigree, but is backdropped. Kane hits the chokeslam and covers for 1...2..nope, Christian breaks it up. Kane throws Christian on top of Rosey and Rico outside but turns around into a missile dropkick from Jericho. Rob Van Dam hits the five star frog splash on Jamal out of nowhere when Jericho grabs a chair. He rushes RVD with it but Rob hits the Van Daminator to take out Jericho. Rob somersault planchas the heels outside leaving Kane in the ring. Flair hits Kane with a chair and HHH hits the pedigree. HHH covers for 1...2....3 to win the match. Of course....once again HHH goes over to show that nobody else in the chamber match has a chance in hell. The heels celebrate outside as we go off air. Since the stupid video montages took forever, they only had 8 minutes to get their shit in and it was just spamming finishers.

Time of match: 8:23

Winners: HHH, Jamal, Rosey, Christian and Chris Jericho by pinfall

All in all that was a total waste of time. They could have had cut the video montages, Big Show's promo and Shawn's satellite interview to have two separate elimination matches in the spirit of Survivor Series. The opener was good but then everything else went south. The only drama going into the elimination chamber is will HHH or HBK win. That's not how you promote a six person match. If fans know that 4/6ths of the competition have no chance, what's the point of watching? At least Smackdown attempted to book Big Show as a monster to give Lesnar a roadblock for the first time in his career. The less said of "Super Tuesday" the better. Up next is the final Smackdown before Survivor Series coming at you from Columbus, Ohio. I'll see you there.

WWE Smackdown (10/31/02)

Happy Halloween everyone, we are 17 days out from Survivor Series and Smackdown is on a hot streak in terms of in ring brilliance. Kurt Angle vs Chris Benoit has been a pleasure to watch and we also have WWE Champion Brock Lesnar facing a new threat, the 500 pound Big Show. Benoit and Angle on their own are draws but they're the tag champs with Los Guerreros gunning for them. Unfortunately we still have the dumb Al Wilson story but we're about to get the debut of a company altering gimmick, but I won't spoil what it is here in the intro. Let's get to the event.

Van Andel Arena

Grand Rapids, Michigan

October 31, 2002

Commentators: Michael Cole & Tazz

We open the show with a costume party in catering. Faarooq is dressed as a pimp with Eddie Guerrero as Zorro and Chavo Guerrero Jr in a poncho & sombrero holding dynamite....not that any of this is racist or anything. Eddie says he's going to take out Kurt Angle tonight and they leave. Tajiri is dressed as a 70's disco dancer with Shannon Moore as Satan. Rey Mysterio Jr is dressed in normal gear as Stephanie McMahon walks in dressed as a witch....thought she was supposed to be in a costume? Anyway, she says tonight's main event will be a non-title match between Brock Lesnar and Rey Mysterio Jr. Rey celebrates with everyone in the room as we head to ringside. Tazz says tonight there will be  a Trick Or Treat match between Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson in a pool of chocolate milk. Divas era everyone.....but in better news, we also got Kurt Angle vs Eddie Guerrero, that's more like it. Let's get to our first match.

Match 1

Edge vs Chris Benoit

Tazz holds up the latest edition of WWE Magazine with Edge on the cover as Edge makes his entrance. Benoit is half of the tag champs and Edge needs a big win to set himself up as a contender to Lesnar. Bell's gone and they circle to start.  They lock up with various takedowns with Edge taking over with an arm-bar. Cole asks how Edge can outwrestle Benoit and Tazz answers to stay ahead of him. Benoit goes to down with knees and stomps in the corner then applies a headlock takeover. Edge sends Benoit off but eats a shoulderblock but drops Benoit with a knee to the ribs. Edge delivers a stomachbreaker then puts the boots to Chris. Edge shoulderblocks Chris in the corner but Benoit chops him. Edge continues to work over Chris but Benoit takes over in the other corner as Cole mentions Big Show will take on Rikishi as well. Edge sends Benoit sternum first into the corner but the cover only gets a deuce. Edge throws Benoit through the ropes to the outside then follows him. Edge drops Chris chest first onto the barricade then throws him back in. Edge covers for a deuce then goes to the chinlock. Cole brings up Scott Steiner is coming to WWE and there's a bidding war between Raw and Smackdown. Sidenote, not to get ahead of anything, but there could have been an Evolution style stable on Smackdown with Angle, Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas and Scott Steiner. All four of them were great collegiate wrestlers with Steiner representing the past, Angle the present and Haas & Benjamin as the future. Back to live action, Edge slingshot suplexes Benoit on the top rope to the outside but Chris blocks a baseball slide and starts attacking the left shoulder. Benoit dropkicks Edge into the ring steps before tossing him inside. Benoit covers for a one count with Edge grabbing the bottom rope and Chris continues to work over the left arm. Edge powers out of it but Chris floors Edge with a running elbow. Chris sends Edge shoulder first into the ringpost and executes a back suplex. A cover gets two and Chris stomps away on him. Benoit sends Edge off who runs into a drop-toe hold. Benoit dropkicks the shoulder and does a snap suplex. The cover gets one as Chris stalks Edge in the corner, kicking away. Chris sends Edge into the corner who falls down, Chris dropping a leg on Edge for good measure. Corner chops from Benoit has the crowd gooing wooo but a charge eats elbow. Edge hops on the second rope but Chris stops him with right hands. Benoit goes for a superplex but Edge blocks it and does Edge-O-Matic off the second rope (!!!). We cut to commercial and when we come back Edge goes upstairs but misses a dropkick. Benoit goes for the crossface but Edge makes it to the ropes. They show during the commercial break Edge hit a spear to knock Benoit to the floor. Benoit does three straight German suplexes then gives the sign for the diving headbutt. Benoit goes up to the top but Edge rolls out of the way at the last second. Benoit goes back to the chops but Edge throws him off the turnbuckle and hits Edge-O-Matic for 1....2..nope, Chris kicked out. Edge counters a headlock with a facebuster but the cover only gets two. Edge chops Chris then drops Benoit face first onto the mat. Edge calls for the spear but Benoit counters it into the Crippler Crossface. Edge rolls through but Benoit hangs on and has Edge in the center of the ring. Edge somehow grabs referee Brian Hebner and all of a sudden Kurt Angle runs to ringside. Benoit abandons the hold and yells at him on the floor. Edge does a baseball slide that sends Benoit into Angle on the floor. Edge goes upstairs and does a flying clothesline that takes out Angle. Benoit throws Edge inside but runs right into the SPEAR! The cover gets 1....2.....3 and that's it. Great opener to start the night. Even though it took an Angle run in to get it done, Edge still gets a victory over Benoit to give Edge some shine while highlighting the ongoing feud between Angle & Benoit. Angle walks off smiling at the irate Benoit as we cut here.

Time of match: 12:21

Winner: Edge by pinfall

We go back to the costume party with John Cena dressed as Vanilla Ice freestyle rapping.....and yes, THIS is where it started. The story goes Cena was floundering as a generic heel and Stephanie herself caught Cena rapping on the bus in London while they were there for Rebellion. She suggested he do it on TV and here we are. Billy Kidman dressed as the Phantom of The Opera is not impressed but Chuck Palumbo dressed as a native american loves it. Torrie Wilson dressed as Xena walks by Tajiri who freaks out and walks away....haha. Tajiri spots someone dressed as Marilyn Monroe and its Mae Young. Fabulous Moolah is dressed as Wilma Flinstone and they grab Tajiri, whisking him away. Al Wilson walks in dressed as a 50's greaser (which the actor may have been back then) with Dawn Marie as a slutty cop. Tazz and Cole laugh at Wilson and Dawn as folks in the arena crowd are dressed as various wrestlers. We got to a replay after commercial of Angle costing Benoit his match. Back to the party, Torrie is confronting Al and Dawn when an irate Benoit storms in looking for Kurt Angle. He storms past a guy in a Ghostface outfit from Scream who doesn't know where Kurt is and Funaki dressed as Superman. After Benoit leaves, the Scream guy unmasks to be Kurt himself. 

Camera cuts to Brock Lesnar walking down the hall as someone dressed as a caveman asks who he's supposed to be. Lesnar says "The WWE champion, that's who I'm supposed to be." That shows you a face turn is coming because heel Brock would smash the guy against the wall. He walks into the dressing room where Paul Heyman is waiting. Heyman gives him a speech about how Joe Frazier and Muhammad Ali were never the same after Thrilla In Manilla and he's afraid Lesnar and Undertaker aren't the same after Hell In A Cell. Heyman is terrified Lesnar can't beat Big Show in his current state. Heyman says Brock won't like hearing it but that's why he's his manager. They're definitely setting up Big Show as a threat, thank god. Onto the next match.

Match 2

Big Show vs Rikishi

This match stems from the previous week where Big Show made his Smackdown brand debut wiping out Rikishi and Matt Hardy. Big Show is dressed in black dress pants and a black t-shirt which would essentially be his new look moving forward. Rikishi attacks at the bell and superkicks him twice, the second sends Show through the ropes to the outside. Rikishi gets thrown into the ring post outside and chops his chest. Show throws Rikishi in the ring and drops a series of elbows. Show headbutts Rikishi and he actually sells it, THATS respect. Show turns Rikishi inside out with a clothesline and covers for 1...2...nope. Show rips off the middle and top rope turnbuckle pads then Rikishi into the exposed steel before avalanching him. Show picks up Rikishi like a feather and does a Bulldog powerslam. Cole asks if Show can manhandle Lesnar like this but also asks how Lesnar can beat him. Show hits the big chokeslam and covers for 1...2....3 to win the match. Cole says Show made a statement by squashing Rikishi and hard to argue that. This is how Show should have been booked for years. Rikishi is no pushover and Show smashed him.

Time of match: 2:28

Winner: Big Show by pinfall

Show grabs the mic after the match and says what he did to Rikishi is only a taste of what's in store for Brock Lesnar at Survivor Series. Show calls out Lesnar and say face him right here, right now. Lesnar goes to confront Show but Heyman tells him not to go out there. We cut to commercial and when we come back, Show is holding Smackdown hostage until Lesnar comes out. Show has a replay of Taker getting wiped out last week put on the titantron. He then goes on a rant that Lesnar can't beat him, everyone knows it including his manager. Hm.....how would he know that? Show says his own real name and Lesnar can't beat him. Finally Lesnar hits the ring as Cole asks why he's coming out. Lesnar looks up at Big Show and Show really towers over him. Lesnar snatches the mic and calls him a giant piece of shit (bleeped out of course). Show smiles at Brock, grabs the mic, exits the ring and says he's been advised not to fight him. Hmmm, wonder who could have advised him? Show says he's done something to The Undertaker that's never been done before and he says he's going to do the same for Lesnar later tonight. Show leaves as we cut right to Torrie Wilson bent over in a Xena outfir=t right in view of the camera, just like Stacy Keibler on Raw. Guess the milk pool match is next....ugh.

Match 3

Dawn Marie vs Torrie Wilson in a Trick or Treat Match

Bunch of cakes at poolside so you know someone's face is going in one. Tazz shills X-Box & Godzilla Destroy All Monsters and Cole shills JVC's Tower of Power as Torrie makes her entrance pool side. Tazz and Cole go ga-ga. Right on cue, Torrie throws one of the cakes in Dawn's face to start the "match". Torrie throws another one and they start wrestling each other on the table. Torrie spears Dawn into the pool and they roll around in it. Torrie pulls the referee in there as Torrie somehow suplexes Dawn in the pool. Torrie strips Dawn to her underwear with Dawn screaming. Dawn and Torrie exchange chops as they roll all over referee Mike Sparks. Torrie chops Dawn who trips and falls out of the pool. Torrie splashes her and covers for 1...2....3 to end this disaster. Torrie grabs ring announcer Tony Chimmel and throws him into the pool. Why? Ask Vince. In terms of a "match", it was just an excuse for women to take their clothes off so Vince could get off on it. We'd have about 10 years to go until this kind of thing stopped, oh joy.

Time of match: 1:51

Winner: Torrie Wilson by pinfall

Back to the party, Kidman is taking jello shots with Moolah and Mae still holding Tajiri hostage. The lights go out and come back on with Matt Hardy coming in playing his own song on a boom box. He says this place needs Mattitude and Hardy chastises Tajiri for flirting with Moolah & Mae. Hardy slaps the wig off Tajiri's head as Mae says he can't do that to her boyfriend. Tajiri "BOYFRIEND??" Matt says he'll send him back after he suffers a twist of fate. Mae then kisses Tajiri who looks disgusted. Just like with throwing Chimmel into the pool, most of the time Vince had people humiliated because he himself thought it was funny. After commercial Nidia and Jamie Noble are dressed as each other (hahaha) and they bob for apples before bumping into Stephanie. A-Train is dressed in a toga next to Eddie and Chavo who start hitting on Stephanie. Ah yes, everyone has to call Stephanie hot on camera....she was Dixie Carter before Dixie. Eddie says after he beats Angle, they want a tag title shot. Stephanie says she'll think about it, just go. Eddie and Chavo leave as Cena comes up and freestyles again to which Stephanie says to speak normally. Cena says Vince himself is waiting for Stephanie in her office. Back to ringside.

Match 4

Matt Hardy vs Tajiri

Matt comes out with "Matt always got more Halloween candy than his brother" as his graphic. Poor Jeff. Cole says Raw this Monday night will be held at the Fleet Center in Boston with Smackdown Your Vote taking place at noon at Northeastern University. Bell's gone and they tie up to start. Matt hits an armdrag and starts celebrating. They exchange go-behinds before Tajiri gets the side headlock. Hardy gets the top wristlock but Tajiri takes Hardy down twice much to Matt's chagrin. Cole says we have Eddie vs Angle still to come and Brock vs Mysterio. Hardy gets a quick two count on Tajiri and celebrates that he was this close to winning...only to eat a kick to the head. Tajiri sends Matt outside and nails him with an asai moonsault. Tajiri throws Matt inside and flips over him just to run into the side effect. Matt covers for a deuce and Matt starts beating Tajiri around. Matt chops Tajiri in the corner but Tajiri chops out of it only to get met with an eye-rake. Matt drops Tajiri throat first on the top rope then does a standing elbow slam. Hardy gets a neck lock on as Cole says you might not like Matt's attitude but you have to respect his ability. Hardy drops Tajiri with an elbow and leg drops him. Matt scoop slams Tajiri then hops on the second rope. He goes for the leg drop but misses it as Tajiri rolls out of the way. Tajiri and Matt exchange punches when Tajiri dropkicks him in the face then covers for a deuce. Tajiri hits the springboard elbow then kicks Matt in the back of the head. He covers for 1...2...nope. Tajiri counters a charge in the corner with a tarantula but Matt counters with an overhead suplex. He stacks him up for 1...2..no. Matt punches Tajiri but Tajiri counters with another tarantuula then sets up for the buzz kick. Tajiri misses but Matt kicks him, going for the Twist of Fate. Tajiri blocks the first attempt but not the second as Matt lands it. He covers for 1...2...3 and Matt wins it. Good match and its cementing Matt's V1 character as a young, top heel. Let's see if Matt can run with this.

Time of match: 7:38

Winner: Matt Hardy by pinfall

Back to Stephanie's office, a man in a Vince McMahon mask says its good to see her. Its not Vince, its Eric Bischoff in disguise. Bischoff says he's signing Scott Steiner and removes his mask. Stephanie goes to slap him but he blocks it and forcefully kisses her. Can't say she didn't deserve it after trying to strike him for no reason. Then she gets into it, pulling him on top of her and they break it off looking at each other awkwardly. Bischoff leaves and that whole segment definitely REEKS of Vince having a laugh. This reminds me of when Kurt kissed Stephanie and nothing came of it, just like this was never mentioned again. Thankfully Eddie Guerrero vs Kurt Angle is next.

Match 5

Eddie Guerrero vs Kurt Angle

These two can definitely have a great match so hopefully this delivers. The implications are the Guerreros want a tag title shot and Benoit & Angle are the champs. Kurt already cost Benoit his match earlier that night so you know Chris will be making an appearance at some point. Eddie comes out in really bright green tights and the bell rings. They circle to start and Angle takes down Eddie a few times, can't outwrestle an Olympian Eddie. Crowd chants "Eddie sucks" as this is a heel program for sure. Angle starts with a headlock and he drops Eddie with a shoulderblock before hiptossing Eddie. Kurt picks up Eddie and heaves him across the ring before Eddie bails outside in a rage. Guess Angle is the defacto face in this one which works just fine. Guerrero gets mad and starts punching and kicking away at Angle. The crowd chants for Angle as Kurt rallies with a clothesline and a back elbow smash. Kurt ducks the line and nails Eddie with a flying forearm. He covers for a deuce but Eddie drop toe holds him into the corner then delivers a back suplex. Eddie chokes Kurt with his boot and goes to town with forearms while holding on to Kurt's singlet. Eddie locks in a front headlock with a "Let's go Angle" chant in the crowd. Cole hypes up Lesnar vs Mysterio as Angle powers out of the hold then gets nailed with a shoulderblock. Eddie goes back to the chinlock as Angle uses the crowd's chanting to make it to his feet. Kurt catches Eddie with a powerslam but Guerrero dropkicks Angle's knee. Eddie chokes him with his boot in the corner again with Brian Hebner yelling at him. Eddie continues to choke Angle and Kurt makes it to the outside. Eddie suplexes Kurt from the apron back inside then covers for a deuce. Eddie goes back to the chinlock then turns it into a head scissors. Eddie uses the ropes for leverage but Angle somehow slips out of it and tries for the ankle lock. Eddie rolls through and snap mares Kurt before dropkicking the back of the neck. Eddie pounds away at Kurt and taunts the crowd with Hebner yelling at him again. Eddie goes for a german suplex but Kurt slips it and hits one of his own, sending Eddie flying. Kurt and Eddie exchange right hands and Angle rallies with clotheslines and a back bodydrop. Kurt ducks the line and goes for another german but Eddie blocks it. Kurt does the overhead suplex and covers for 1...2....nope, foot on the rope. Kurt comes out of the corner and Eddie kicks him before going for a suplex. Kurt slips it and does the three German suplex combo that Benoit used earlier. Kurt covers for a deuce and pulls down the straps, uh oh! Kurt goes for the Angle Slam but Eddie counters into a cradle for 1..2....nooooo! Angle charges but eats elbow and Guerrero nails a jumping tornado ddt off the second rope then covers for 1...2....NOOOOOO, just got the shoulder up. Eddie goes for the Lasso From El Paso and Angle looks like he's about to tap but counters, slipping a roll into the ankle lock. Guerrero reaches the ropes and Kurt goes for another German suplex but Eddie grabs the ref and mule kicks Kurt in the gonads. Eddie lands a vertical suplex then goes for the frog splash. Kurt brilliantly then shoves Hebner into Guerrero who crotches himself. Tazz "He's the third man in the ring, might as well use him, what the hell?" Chavo runs down to the ring and Kurt knocks him off the apron. He runs up the ropes to nail Eddie with a superplex when Chris Benoit comes out of nowhere to nail Angle with the tag title belt. Eddie hits the frog splash and covers for 1...2....3....Eddie wins it. Wow, last week it was Angle the heel and Benoit the face and now its the other way around. Eddie goes to hug Benoit for helping him and Chris waffles him with the belt. Chris gets out of the ring and drops Chavo with the belt for good measure. Chris gets the last laugh after a damn good match between Angle and Guerrero. We go to the replay with all this mayhem and Guerrero gets the duke. The feud between Angle and Benoit is not over and the Guerreros are the ones benefiting for sure.

Time of match: 13:20

Winner: Guerrero by pinfall

After commercial break we're back at the party where its Kurt's turn to cause a ruckus. Kurt bitches about what happened to him then heaves Shannon Moore over a table. He spots another guy in a Ghostface mask and rips it off revealing...Brother Love?? The hell is he doing here? Love says "I loveeeeee you" and Kurt's face is priceless. Chris then attacks Kurt from behind and they brawl all over the room. Chris breaks a stool over Kurt's chest then applies the crossface. Where the hell is Stephanie? Kurt rolls through and applies the ankle lock. Chris kicks him off and grabs a beer bottle. Angle hits the angle slam to Chris through a table but not before Benoit breaks the bottle over his head. Both men are out and Cole sends us to our last break. These two are going to settle this eventually, right? On to the main event.

Match 6

Rey Mysterio Jr vs Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman)

This is a non-title match, which is dumb since Rey essentially has nothing to gain and Lesnar has nothing to lose. Cole hypes up Lesnar vs Show for the WWE title and wonders if he can beat the monster. The sad part is they're making Show about to be very dangerous when he was just a big goofus on Raw for about a year. Still, at least they're doing something noteworthy with Big Show for once. Lesnar hops up on the apron but Mysterio slides under the rope underneath him to start the match. Lesnar chases Rey around the ring but Rey hops up on the ropes as Lesnar slides in. Rey drops a leg but Brock barely sells it. Brock grabs Rey and heaves him into the corner but Rey moves out of the way of the charge. Brock chases Rey outside who runs around and appears to hide behind the steps. Lesnar kicks the steps but there's nobody there. Rey appears from under the ring, climbs up to the top and hits  west coast pop to the floor. Brock pops up unfazed and stalks Rey as Cole wonders how Rey could do anything to him. Lesnar catches Rey in a powerbomb position and heaves him into the ring post. Lesnar throws Rey inside as Cole asks how Brock can match Big Show. Brock picks Rey up on his shoulders and slams him face first onto the mat. Brock taunts Mysterio and heaves him over his head to the other side of the ring. Tazz says Lesnar is toying with Rey and is overmatched. Lesnar shoulderblocks Rey in the corner and charges but eats ringpost. Rey rallies with a series of dropkicks that sends Lesnar into the ropes. Rey goes for the 619 but Big Show appears out of nowhere and catches Rey in mid-air causing the disqualification. Big Show then heaves Rey 10 rows deep into the crowd Spike Dudley style but Lesnar shoulderblocks Show into the ringpost. Brock tries to whip Show into the other post but Show blocks it and rams Lesnar into the post instead. Show then chokeslams Lesnar through the announce table as Cole asks if this is a preview of Survivor Series. Show smiles at his work as we go to the replay of Show heaving Rey into the crowd then laying out Lesnar. Show screams to just give him the belt as Tazz says this is Heyman's worst nightmare. The show ends with Big Show saying Lesnar's run is over. Sad part was that was a hell of a crash style, cat and mouse match between the monstrous Lesnar and diminutive Rey. Somewhere down the line Rey and Brock would meet again and pretty much Rey vs Show as well. Take away Big Show's interference and this was definitely a match that needs to be seen again.

Time of match: 4:00

Winner: Mysterio by disqualification

This entire show was basically the greatness of the "Smackdown Six" smattered around Vince McMahon's vile humor. Inside the ring you had a great Edge vs Benoit match, a great Angle vs Guerrero match, a passable Tajiri vs Matt Hardy match and what was shaping up to be a great cat and mouse match with Brock vs Rey. The downside was Dawn Marie and Torrie but that's a long winded rant about the state of women's wrestling for another time. Sad part was this show isn't even remembered for the great matches or even the Dawn/Torrie antics....no. This was famous for the birth of the doctor of thuganomics John Cena. The gimmick that would launch his career and never look back. Hard to believe that even with Smackdown as great as it was with the Guerreros, Benoit, Angle, Edge, Mysterio, Brock and Tajiri that John Cena's potential hadn't been tappped yet....until now. In terms of current events, Benoit vs Angle is still dominating the shows and Big Show is the biggest threat to Lesnar metaphorically and literally. The drama is Brock is still run down from Hell in A Cell and still has to face a motivated 7 foot giant, can he do it? We'll find out soon enough. The next show would be the November 2nd edition of Velocity so I'll see you there.

WWE Rebellion 2002 (10/26/02)

Six days after No Mercy, Smackdown took its stars to Manchester, England for what would be the final Rebellion ppv. The storylines continued over from No Mercy with a few exceptions here and there. Brock Lesnar was supposed to face The Undertaker in yet another match but the dead man was too hurt (and his child was on the way) and Edge would take his place. We also get to see a inter-promotional match featuring Booker T and newly heel Matt Hardy. Other matches include Los Guerreros taking on the tag champs of Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle plus the continuation of the Dawn Marie/Torrie Wilson storyline....ugh. Anyway lets get to the event.

OCTOBER 26, 2002

M.E.N. ARENA

MANCHESTER, ENGLAND

Commentators:  Michael Cole and Tazz

Before we do anything, we had a dark match to open the show.

Dark Match

Bill Demott vs Shannon Moore

These two were on the European tour working the non-televised shows in Finland and Ireland. May as well have them get a match in before the show started to keep the crowd hot. Demott won in about 5 minutes.

Winner: Bill Demott

Stephanie McMahon comes out to open the show shades of GLOBAL WARNING TOUR. She welcomes the fans and lets us know Undertaker won't be here and will be replaced by Edge to take on Heyman and Brock in a handicap match. Steph says she wants to make Rebellion the best ppv of the year and announces she's purchased the services of Booker T for one night. The crowd goes nuts as Booker T enters wearing the short black tights. Steph leaves so we get to our first match,

Match 1

Booker T vs Matt Hardy

 This would be the inter-promotional showdown and on paper it looks to be a good one. These two had been working together in Finland and Ireland the past two days to get ready for this match. Hardy enters to his new Monster Magnet theme and his V1 message for the night is "Matt loves English muffins" ha.Hardy comes out with a microphone and proclaims he is here. Hardy calls Booker a sucka and makes his entrance. They circle to start as the crowd is rabid for Booker. Matt goes for a test of strength to psych out Booker then Booker does the same. Cole calls it "Bookatutde", They finally lock up and Hardy armdrags Booker halfway across the ring. They lock up again and Booker synches in a headlock before exchanging go behinds. Shoulderblock goes nowhere then Booker counters a hiptoss with 2 clotheslines and a dropkick that sends Hardy outside. Cole shills Edge's title shot before Hardy rolls up Booker out of nowhere for a 2 count. Hardy says "I was this close" and Booker slaps him down. Booker rams Matt's head into the top turnbuckle but is whipped into the opposite corner. A charge by Matt eats elbow and Booker goes for a reverse roundhouse kick but Hardy slides underneath the bottom rope. Hardy takes a breather outside before Booker goes after him. Booker chops him then sends him back inside where they do the "First guy in puts the boots to the second" routine. Matt unloads with forearms until Booker rallies with right hands. Hardy then quells the momentum with a hot shot off the top rope. Hardy executes a running swinging neck breaker but the cover only gets 2. Cole says we have a kiss my ass match later which catches Tazz off guard. Hardy goes to work on Booker in the corner then uses heel tactics to gain the advantage. Cole mentions broadcasting in Wales and Tazz says "Yeah, save the whales!"  Hardy whips Booker into the corner but runs into a flipover sunset flip for 1....2...nope. Booker goes back to right hands until Matt counters with the Side Effect. The cover gets 1....2..nope. Hardy locks in a rest hold as the crowd chants for Booker T. Book powers out of it but runs into an elbow smash. Matt drops the leg then executes a rude awakening but the cover gets a nearfall. Matt goes back to the chinlock as Tazz makes Cole laugh. Hardy turns the chinlock into a surfboard until Booker powers out of it. Booker sends Matt off but puts his head down allowing Hardy to kick him in the mush. Matt bounces off the ropes into a spinebuster. Both men get to their feet at the count of 9 then Booker rallies with right hands and chops. Booker floors Matt with a shuffle side kick and covers for 1....2..nope. Booker delivers a spinning heel kick and covers for 1...2...nope. Booker whips Matt in the corner but a charge eats boots. Hardy misses the second rope legdrop and Booker goes upstairs. A top rope dropkick is on  the money but the cover only gets too. Booker delivers another heel kick then teases doing the spinaroonie. Hardy cuts him off and goes for the twist of fate but Booker T counters by executing the book end. The cover...1......2..nope. Hardy finally delivers the twist of fate then covers for 1...2..no. Hardy goes for another twist of fate but Booker counters with a boot to the breadbasket. Booker bounces off the ropes and delivers his axe back. He covers Matt for 1......2...3 and that's it.  The red hot Booker T delights the crowd with a victory as Tazz is mad he didn't het to see the spinaroonie. Booker poses for the crowd then grabs a mic. He says he came to England to give the crowd to what they want to see and does the spinaroonie to Tazz's delight. Decent opener if you can dig that...sucka.

Time of Match: 12:01

Winners: Booker T by pinfall

 We go backstage to Paul Heyman walking down a hallway and into Stephanie McMahon's office. He barges in and asks if it was her idea to put him in the main event. Paul tries to weasel his way out of the match but Stephanie will have none of it. He claims the match is unfair and Steph says life isn't fair. Paul says all he has to wear is his 2500 dollar suit and Steph says its 2500 down the drain. We go to Cole and Tazz who hype up the upcoming inter-gender match. We get shown a highlight package of Torrie discovering her "father" Al in the shower with Dawn Marie. Its funny how he was fully clothed and she's naked. At one point during the montage Dawn says she's been with very few men and a smattering of fans all scoff in unison.

Match 2

John Cena and Dawn Marie vs Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson

Six days earlier Torrie Wilson had beaten Dawn Marie in a match, now Dawn hooks up with recently turned heel John Cena to take on Torrie and her real life husband Billy Kidman. John enters to his generic rock theme and green prototype tights as Cole calls Dawn a predator when she enters. Kidman enters to his lousy WWE theme while wearing silver tights then Torrie enters last. Cole says if Dawn married Al then she would be Torrie's mother in law.....good thing that never happened right? Right? Uhhh...anyway the bell rings with both ladies being restrained by the men from killing each other. Cena then sneak attacks Kidman with forearms to the back. Kidman counters a sidewalk slam into a head scissors. Kidman goes for a victory roll but Cena drops him throat first onto the top rope. Cena puts the boots to Billy as Cole explains how Cena turned heel when he attacked Kidman after he and Billy lost their tag team title tournament match. Cena goes for a British Bulldog delayed suplex but Kidman counters with a roll up for 1...2..nope. Cena runs over Billy with a clothesline then Dawn tags herself in. A confused Cena says whatever as Dawn puts the boots to Kidman. Kidman catches the foot and blocks a bitchslap then grabs her by the hair. He tags in Torrie then takes Dawn over his knee. Torrie spanks Dawn as Tazz says "I know you've been in that position before Cole, what's it like?" Torrie puts the boots to Dawn then delivers a shockingly good armdrag. Torrie dropkicks Dawn then covers for 1..2...nope. Dawn flips over Torrie in the corner and delivers a roll up for a near fall. Dawn kicks Torrie in the midsection then delivers an x-factor. Dawn covers for 2 as Tazz makes fun of Heyman by saying they don't have 2500 dollar suits at Walmart. Torrie sommersaults under a clothesline and delivers a spinebuster. They roll around as referee Mike Sparks jumps over them twice only for Kidman to interfere and get rolled over. The 3 of them roll over until Kidman breaks free and celebrates as Cena looks on jealous. Dawn goes over to shout at Kidman while Cena interferes and slams Torrie. While at the time it was no shock for Cena as a heel to do something dastardly, try showing that clip now and see how well it goes over. Dawn puts the boots to Torrie then delivers a headbutt to the midsection. Cena tags in and knocks Kidman off the apron. Cena grabs Torrie by the hair and blocks a bitchslap then teases that he's going to give him head...and no I'm not kidding. Torrie counters with a low blow and tags in Kidman. Tazz "Right in the wood!" Kidman flies off the top with a back elbow smash. Kidman rallies with dropkicks and a cover gets a nearfall. Kidman gets kicked in the back by Dawn outside so he brings her in the hard way. Kidman runs into a sloppy looking spinebuster and Cena covers for 1...2..nope. Kidman rolls through a back suplex then delivers a flying bulldog. Kidman covers for 1..2..nope, Dawn drops an elbow on Cena by accident. Torrie interferes and tackles Dawn through the ropes and to the outside. Kidman delivers an enziguiri to Cena then drags him into the corner where he goes upstairs. Kidman delivers the 7 Year Itch though he misses badly. The cover gets 1...2.....3 and Kidman/Torrie win it. I'm stunned to say this but Torrie and Dawn outwrestled Cena and Kidman believe it or not. Their action was much more crisp and flowing while Cena and Kidman botched some of their stuff. Good thing this match was never shown again because Cena was HEEEL and outwrestled by Dawn F'n Marie. Torrie makes out with Kidman in the ring after the match as Tazz wants a kiss too. Kidman acts shocked she kissed him.

Time of match: 5:24

Winner: Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson by pinfall

    Tazz and Cole make each other laugh as they continue to hype up the main event. Cole then interviews Edge backstage as Edge says he's going to win the title whether he has to pin Lesnar or "that greasy, slimy dirty scumbag Heyman". Edge saves face by saying he wants Taker back but he's more than happy to take his place to win the title. On to the next match

Match 3

Funaki vs Crash Holly

Crash Holly hadn't been on ppv since the last British ppv back in May, meanwhile Funaki hadn't wrestled on a ppv since being in the immunity battle royal almost a year earlier at Survivor Series. It was a shame because both of these guys can work a good match and I'll go to my grave saying Crash got loudest pop of the night at the 2000 King of the Ring. Funaki enters first and grabs the mic and says in broken English he is SMACKDOWN NUMBA WUN ANNOUNCAAAAA. The crowd starts a Funaki chant as he says he's number one top hat or something. Crash enters with gold tights as Cole says he's nuts. They start out with good chain wrestling as the crowd applauds the sequence. Funaki offers a hand shake and Crash slaps him in the face. Crash halts the match then motions to remove his tights as Tazz goes "Not in the UK Crash!" Crash then pulls a karate bandana from his tights and puts it on, which is kinda gross if he's been sweating already. Crash taunts Funaki until Funaki boots him in the chops. Funaki delivers a series of hiptosses and dropkicks until Crash begs off. Funaki helps Crash up only to boot him in the midsection and sunset flip him for 1...2 nope. Crash bails to the outside and pulls out Funaki then delivers a forearm to the chest. Tazz "I'm here to entertain the audience" Cole "We're 3 matches in, ya think you can start soon?" Crash delivers a knee to the back as Cole called Crash the best Hardcore Champion ever...which I have to agree with, his segments were must see tv back in the day. Crash rolls through a bodypress for 1....2..nope. Crash executes a sidewalk slam for 1...2...nope. Cole hypes up the next British event the following June (the last British ppv to date) as Crash locks in a rest hold. Funaki powers out of it then misses a dropkick. Crash walks into an inside cradle for 1....2...nope. Crash hard Irish whips Funaki in the corner but misses the charge. Funaki delivers a bulldog then executes another one. Funaki dropkicks and covers for 1...2...nope. Crash delivers an inverted atomic drop but runs into a clothesline. The cover gets a nearfall and Crash goes for a roll up but is victory rolled for 1...2...nope. Funaki misses an enziguiri so Crash goes for a majistrol cradle, only Funaki counters with a cradle for 1....2....3 and Funaki wins it. Mostly boring but not terrible either. Funaki would make sporadic appearances here and there while Crash fell completely off the map. If I'm not mistaken this was Crash's last ppv match until he was released in June 2003 so thanks for the memories.

Time of match: 5:37

Winner: Funaki by pinfall

   We cut to sexy Nidia walking down the hall and is offended by a security guard's body odor. She runs into Noble and complains about everyone. Noble spanks Nidia and we cut to the back of Rey Mysterio Jr. Mysterio psyches himself up for the match and we continue.

Match 4

Rey Mysterio Jr vs Tajiri vs Jamie Noble (with Nidia) in a 3 Way Dance for the WWE Cruiserweight Champiobship

   Noble had pissed the both of them off in recent months so this is Mysterio and Tajiri's revenge so to speak. As Noble makes his entrance, Tazz remarks that UK women are hot but there's only one Nidia and Michael Cole says "Thank God for that." Mysterio enters wearing the baggy red tights/mask to a huge ovation. Noble knocks Mysterio off the apron as the bell rings then turns around into a Tajiri kick. Noble and Tajiri go at it before Jamie heaves Tajiri through the ropes to the outside. Mysterio slides in and ducks a charge, sending Noble over the top rope and onto Tajiri outside. Mysterio then executes a perfect corkscrew plancha press onto both opponents to the crowd's delight. Mysterio rolls Noble in and covers for 1..2..nope, Tajiri breaks up the count for some reason. Its a 3 way dance so the match doesn't end with one fall so why is Tajiri saving Noble? Tajiri kicks away at Mysterio in the corner as Noble charges and eats boot. Noble staggers into a kick to the face from Tajiri. Mysterio and Tajiri exchange reversals until Mysteruo does his trademark bulldog (executed after he kicks Noble in the face). Mysterio covers for a nearfall before Noble executes a nothern lights suplex on Mysterio for 1...2...nope, Tajiri makes the save. Maybe he forgot its not a triple threat match? Tajiri chops Noble as Cole mentions how Tajiri played sidekick to Noble and Nidia for months. Tajiri does his springboard back elbow smash that catches both Mysterio and Noble. Tajiri sends Rey sternum first into the corner then kicks away at Noble until tying him in the tree of woe. Tajiri sets up for the baseball slide and hits it, causing Noble to crumple to the mat. Tazz "He looked like Lou Brock sliding into second." Cole "Who?......Cole you suck. Mysterio charges in the corner but walks right into the Tajiri Tarantula. Noble dopkicks Rey for good measure. Tajiri goes for the buzzsaw kick on Noble but savate kicks Mysterio off the apron. Tajiri turns around into the tiger-bomb for Noble who bridges for 1...2....3 and Tajiri is gone. Down to 1 on 1 Noble poses in the ring as Mysterio struggles to make it back inside. Noble goes for the tiger bomb but Mysterio counters with a hurricarana bridge for 1,...2...nope. Mysterio ducks under a clothesline and delivers a spinning wheel kick. A relatively weak forearm by Mysterio knocks Noble backwards off his feet. Mysterio executes a hurricarana that sends Noble face first into the second turnbuckle. Mysterio goes up top but Noble counters a West Coast Pop with a powerbomb, Noble covers for 1..2...nope. Tazz "Nidia must have thought the security guard smelled like cocky." Noble throws Rey shoulder first into the ringpost. Jamie distracts the referee allowing Nidia to strain the arm against the ringpost. Noble attacks the injured arm and shouts "WHAT'S MY NAME????" Noble locks in a hammerlock and Mysterio tries to flip out of it only to have Jamie hang on. Tazz calls Noble a pitbull as Jamie continues to work over the arm and shoulder. Noble puts the boots to Mysterio and continues to work over the arm concluding with a fujiwara armbar. The crowd chants 619 as Mysterio powers out of the lock, slides under Noble but runs into a clothesline. Noble covers but gets a near fall. Noble puts the boots to Rey again stopping only to kiss Nidia. A small "she's a crack whore" chant breaks out as Noble executes another northern lights suplex but the cover gets a 2. Noble goes back to the armbar for a while before Mysterio powers out of it. Noble dropkicks the shoulder as Mysterio gets some stiff elbows in. Rey counters an electric chair with a spinning ddt as both men struggle to reach their feet. Mysterio counters with right hands and finishes with a flap jack. Mysterio does a springboard leg drop and covers for 1...2..nooooo. Rey charges in the corner but gets backdropped onto the apron. Rey goes up to the top and finally hits the West Coast Pop with the cover for 1...2....nope. The crowd chants for 619 but Noble counters with a vertical bomb (Tazz's words not mine). The cover gets a deuce as Rey literallyt jumps up to kick out. Mysterio ducks under a clothesline and executes a tilt-a whirl sunset flip (yes you read that right) but Nidia hops up on the apron. Rey chases Nidia off the apron but Noble nails him from behind. Rey slides out of a back suplex and drop toe holds Jamie onto the second rope. The crowd calls for the 619 but Nidia trips up Mysterio before he can do it. Rey staggers around into a tiger bomb from Noble for 1..2....NOOOOOO. Crowd cheers as Tazz asks if anyone's ever kicked out of that movie before. Mysterio goes for a victory roll but Noble cradles then holds on to Nidia for 1....2...3 and that's it. Noble retains as Cole cries foul. Nidia slaps Mysterio after the bell then attempts to put the Cruiserweight belt on Noble only for the couple to be dropkicked onto the second rope. Mysterio does the 619 to both of them as the crowd erupts. Mysterio leaves the heels sprawled out as he walks out without the win. Five straight ppv wins (KOTR, Vengeance, Global Warning, No Mercy, this) for Noble.

Time of match: 12:47

Winner: Jamie Noble by pinfall (still Cruiserweight champion)

 We cut to Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle sitting and staring at each other. Kurt claims captaincy of the team and runs down Benoit saying he's the US and Chris is the UK. Benoit "Woah woah woah, I'm Canadian!" Kurt "Its all part of the commonwealth. The point is you're good but you're not the best." Kurt says he's the best as Chris scoffs. Chris taunts Kurt by saying he won at Unforgiven and then again on Smackdown so HE'S the captain. Kurt cries foul and says Chris fits right in with England because of his bad teeth. Benoit fakes a belly laugh and then says Kurt is lucky the suspension stipulation is in effect otherwise he'd kick his ass. They go nose to nose before Chris and Kurt taunt each other as we cut to the ring. Kurt "Its flying freaking damn true!"

Match 5

Reverand D-Von and Ron Simmons vs Val Venis and Chuck Palumbo

   Talk about the bottom of the barrel. None of these guys had been over in God knows how long but luckily all four of them would be used differently (and better) in the upcoming year. Oh, I forgot to mention Ron Simmons is actually Faarooq for those who don't know, they FINALLY let Ron use his real name (although Don't Step to Ron is not his entrance theme unfortunately). Val enters wearing Smackdown blue tights as Palumbo wears Hogan-esque yellow tights. Val is introduced as The Big Valbowski instead of Val Venis, apparently this was a trend. Simmons and D'Von attack Valbowski and Palumbo right at the get go. D'Von delivers a running clothesline in the corner to Palumbo then whips him into a powerslam by Simmons. Simmons covers but referee Mike Sparks is out of position so Simmons gets a deuce. Simmons locks in an abdominal stretch until Palumbo counters with a btb suplex. Venis makes the tag and so does D-Von. Val rallies with clotheslines and a backdrop. Venis executes a one arm slam and covers but Simmons makes the save. A left-armed clothesline drops Simmons then executes a double underhook suplex to D-Von. Simmons recovers to deliver a spinebuster then the duo puts the boots to Venis. D-Von takes command with a back elbow smash. Simmons tags in as Cole shills what's yet to come. Simmons locks in a rest hold and jumps on Val when he tries to power out of it. He jumps again and lands nut first into Val's boot. Palumbo makes the cover and rallies with clotheslines and a btb on D-Von. Chuck does the Razor Ramon fallaway punch then teams up with Venis to backdrop D-Von. Simmons floors Venis then walks into boxing jabs from Palumbo. Chuck goes for another Razor punch but Simmons boots him in the bread basket. Palumbo ducks under a Simmons clotheslines and fires away at D-Von with right hands. Chuck delivers an over the head suplex on Simmons followed by a shuffle side kick on D-Von. Chuck covers but Simmons breaks it up. Venis wakes up and tosses Simmons out of the ring. Venis follows him but runs right into the steel steps. Palumbo sticks his head through the ropes to investigate and Simmons greets him with a forearm. D-Von schoolboys Chuck and his tights down exposing his white ass. A shocked Palumbo cannot kick out 1..2.....3 and D-Von's team wins it. Venis looks pissed in the ring as the replay shows the end. D'Von dances in the walkway....not great but not terrible either. Short and sweet which is as far as two makeshift teams.

Time of Match: 4:09

Winner: D-Von and Simmons by pinfall

    Tazz asks Cole if he wears tighty whites....haha wait nine years. Cut to Los Guerreros for an interview. Eddie says they're in Germany and Chavo says they're in Ireland. Then they say that it doesn't matter where they are that Mexico's better. Chavo says "Yeah, I remember the Alamo...WE WON!" The British had nothing to do with the Alamo so that reference doesn't work. Chavo calls Michael Cole a loser (ha!) and then say they're going to beat Angle and Benoit. Eddie "The food here sucks, the tea and the crumpets suck! Even the English muffins suck here!" Chavo "They talk funny here!"  The last part was funny, onto the next match.

Match 6

Rikishi vs Albert in a Kiss My Arse match

Sheesh, when was the last time we've seen Albert on pay per view? Least he's using a better song than his T & A theme. Tony Chimel "The following is a kiss my arse match." For some reason him saying that is funny. Albert grabs the mic and calls himself wicked sexy. "And ladies in case you were wondering, and I know you are. All this hair is 100 percent au natural!" I thought this was Albert and not Val Venis. "Rikishi, after the match you will kiss my hairy ass!" Cole "That is a sight I don't think I wanna see." Cole brings up Big Show jumping to Smackdown and attacking Rikishi. They circle to start as Rikishi starts out with a headlock. Cole brings up how Big Show chokeslammed Undertaker through a table, putting him out of action (the real reason he was gone till the Rumble was he needed time off to be there for the birth of his new baby). A force meeting object routine goes nowhere and then the same result happens. Rikishi ducks under a clothesline and lands one of his own. Albert ducks under a clothesline and Rikishi bends over, freaking out Albert and causing him to bail to the outside (HA!). Cole brings out Albert's new mean streak which would cause a much needed name change in the future. Albert tells the fans to shut their mouths before baiting Rikishi into a test of strength. Rikishi then does something I've never seen him do, sell a headbutt. Albert delivers one and Rikishi crumples to the mat like he's been shot. Tazz "Do you think Albert's ass is as hairy as his back?" Cole "I dunno, he said it was." Albert pounds away in the corner then stomps a mudhole. As referee Jimmy Korderas checks on Rikishi, Albert takes the turnbuckle pad off. Rikishi rallies with right hands but is whipped into the exposed steel. Albert follows with a running avalanche in the corner as the crowd boos. A cover by Albert gets a deuce then he applies a rest hold. He uses the ropes for leverage as Tazz continues to talk about Albert's hairy ass. Tazz says Korderas is as bald as an eagle even though he's from Canada. Rikishi does the fade then revive routine then powers out of it. They work a double clothesline spot before Rikishi gets to his feet and rallies with right hands. A samoan drop is no-sold but a ddt is. The cover gets a long two but Rikishi runs into a bicycle kick then covers for 1...2...nope. Albert charges but eats exposed steel and turns around into a superkick. Rikishi drags Albert in the corner, goes upstairs and hits the banzai drop for 1....2...3 and Rikishi wins it. Albert rolls out of the ring as Cole "Heyyy where are you goin?" Albert walks to the back as Rikishi grabs the mic. "Hey Albert, in case you forgot this was a kiss my ass match. That means you gotta come in here in front of Manchester and get a piece of the Kish!" Jimmy Korderas grabs the mic and says "Albert, you have 10 seconds to get in here and kiss Rikishi's ass or you'll be suspended indefinitely without pay." Korderas leads the count up to 9 before Albert gets in the ring. Albert gets on one knee and delivers a low blow before deliving a baldo bomb. Rikishi sits in the corner and Albert teases a stinkface but Rikishi counters with a low blow. Albert staggers into the corner and then gets a running back avalanche before crumpling in the corner. Rikishi delivers the obligatory stinkface as Michael Cole says this is what Smackdown is all about. Yes, Smackdown isn't about the technical wrestling of Brock Lesnar, Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit or the high flying Kidman and Mysterio, its about 400 pound men shoving their asses in other guys faces. Rikishi then calls Michael Cole and Tazz in the ring to bust a move with him. Cole and Tazz reluctantly get in the ring as the crowd chants for Tazz. Tazz gets on the mic and says he can't do it, then gets booed, so he says "ok maybe I can do it" Tazz then says Tony Chimel better get in and Chimel himself does. The four of them put on cowboy hats and start dancing. Tazz and Cole can't dance to save their lives but Chimel isn't half bad. Goofy ending but its all about entertainment and that was halfway amusing.

Time of match: 7:17

Winners: Rikishi by pinfall

  Cut to previously recorded vignettes of how the WWE Tag Team Championship came about with Kurt and Benoit reluctantly teaming and winning the titles. Chavo sets up Benoit to be taken out by Eddie and Kurt says he had nothing to do with it. Then to the semi-final match where Benoit teases turning on Angle and then blasting Chavo and Eddie with a chair leading to Angle and Benoit winning the match and eventually the tag team titles (at No Mercy in the match of the year).

Match 7

Los Guerreros (Eddie and Chavo Jr) vs Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit for the WWE Tag Team Championships

Chavo Guerrero Jr makes his first ring ppv since entering himself into the Immunity Battle Royal a year earlier. They enter to Latino Heat as Eddie wears the red tights and Chavo black. Benoit enters wearing the blue tights as he stars down Angle upon entering the ring. Tazz says the tag team division is rapidly developing which is very true. Los Guerrero's pose with the tag belts as Kurt and Chris argue as to who starts the match. Eddie shoves Kurt so Angle shoves Chris and we finally start with Eddie/Angle. They circle to start then Eddie inexplicably tags Chavo. The crowd cheers the heel Angle and he starts off with a side headlock. Angle runs over Chavo with a shoulderblock and follows with a hiptoss. A backdrop sends Chavo flying and Angle cuts off a charging Eddie with an elbow smash. The Guerrero's regroup outside as Angle taunts Benoit. Chris tags himself in and Angle is irate. The crowd chants "We want Angle!" and this isn't piped in chants either. Eddie gets in and chain wrestles with Benoit as Tazz half breaks kayfabe by saying Eddie and Chris are still friends. Eddie floors Chris with a shoulderblock but runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Chavo charges but runs into a chop causing Chavo to bail. Chris whips him in the corner and makes the tag to a reluctant Angle. Angle unloads on Eddie as Michael Cole brings up an incident on Smackdown where Chris and Kurt beat the crap out of each other over a trophy. Kurt runs into a back elbow smash by Eddie and Chavo tags in. Chavo tells Eddie to do something and Angle standing switches into a german suplex. Kurt taunts Benoit again only to be nailed from behind by Eddie. Benoit enters and delivers a german suplex to Eddie in retaliation. Kurt and Chris go nose to nose and shove each other then turn their attentions to the Guerreros. Chris german suplex's Eddie and Kurt lands one on Chavo. Kurt literally kicks Chavo out of the ring as Benoit makes his exit leaving Kurt and Eddie alone. Kurt kicks Eddie out then brings Chavo back in the hard way. Angle floors Chavo with a back elbow smash then suplexes him. A cover gets 2 as Chris throws Eddie into the ringpost outside the ring. Kurt makes the tag to Benoit and Chris turns Chavo inside out with a running knee. Chavo rallies with right hands and tags in Eddie. Eddie stomps away at Benoit in the corner then when the ref pulls Eddie off, Chavo chokes Chris. Cole brings up the match of the year at No Mercy as Eddie throws Chris into the exposed turnbuckle. Wouldn't the ref have put it back on after the last match? Lazy referees aside, Eddie suplexes Benoit as the crowd cheers Angle again. Chavo tags in and the Guerreros isolate Benoit in the corner. Benoit and Chavo exchange chops but a charge by Benoit eats elbow. Chavo charges but runs into a crossface attempt. Chavo squirms to safety then throws Chris through the ropes to the outside. Chavo distracts referee Brian Hebner as Eddie suplexes Benoit on the floor. The Guerreros both roll Chris inside where Eddie tags in with a springboard flip onto Benoit. Eddie covers for a two count then locks in his father's famous move, the Gory Special. Just as Tazz says there's no escape from the hold, Benoit counters into a sunset flip for 1..2...and no. Eddie floors Chris with a clothesline then tags in Chavo. Chavo dances around then puts the boots to Chris, landing some european uppercuts for good measure. Benoit then counters another uppercut attempt with a backslide for 1...2..nope, Eddie interferes and kicks Chris off. Chavo delivers a back suplex then runs over to knock Angle off the apron. Eddie tags in but runs into a flapjack followed by a powerbomb. Chris turns around into a hotshot by Chavo. Chris crawls over toward Angle as Chavo makes the tag. Chavo runs into a crossface and this time, Chris has it synched in. Eddie makes the save but Angle gets in and rallies with right hands. Hebner shoos Angle out of the ring as Eddie climbs up to and goes for a frog splash. The alert Benoit rolls out of the way and Eddie lands on Chavo instead. Hebner shoos Eddie out of the ring as Benoit makes the hot tag to Kurt. Angle cleans house with backdrop to Eddie and a german suplex to Chavo. Angle hits an overhead btb on Eddie and covers for 1..2..no, Chavo saves. Chavo ducks under a clothesline and lands a dropkick on Kurt. Benoit gets in and whips Chavo into the corner then executes a german suplex of his own. Eddie goes for a german on Chris but Benoit switches and executes a german on Eddie. Chris goes upstairs and delivers a flying headbutt on Eddie. The legal man, Angle, covers for 1....2..nope, Chavo makes the save. Chavo snap suplexes Kurt then clotheslines himself and Benoit out of the ring. Eddie covers Kurt for a near fall then goes up to the top. Eddie calls for the frog splash but Kurt runs up the ropes....only to be shoves off by Eddie. Guerrero lands the frog splash then covers for 1...2...nooo, Benoit slides in and saves Kurt. Chris locks in the crossface on Eddie despite not being the legal man then Chavo makes the save. Chris switches out of a back suplex then sends Chavo out of the ring. Kurt goes for the Angle Slam but Eddie slides out of it and shoves Kurt into Benoit to bowls Hebner through the ropes to the outside. Chris shoves Kurt so Angle shoves him down. Eddie dropkicks Kurt in the back of the leg then locks in the Tequila Sunrise (or Lasso From El Passo depending on the day). Kurt somehow escapes and locks in the ankle lock. Eddie taps but the ref is on the floor with Chavo and Chris. Chavo grabs a tag belt and is supposed to hit him with it but if you look closely all he does is push Kurt to the ground with it. Chavo rolls the ref back in and Eddie covers for 1...2..NOOOOO. Chavo tells Eddie to hold Kurt as he goes to the top only to be shoved off by Benoit. Eddie runs into a hotshot by Chris then staggers into an Angle Slam. Kurt covers for 1...2...3 and this one's over. The disfunctional technical wrestlers are still the champs. Kurt celebrates in the ring by himself then Chris shoves him. They drop their respective belts and go nose to nose. They taunt each other as the Guerreros sneak in the ring to try to steal the belts. Angle and Benoit cut them off and focus their anger on the Guerreros. They chase them out of the ring as Kurt's music plays. Decent match although the formula was right out of the 80's, least there were good highspots here and there.

Time of match: 16:36

Winner: Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit by pinfall (still Tag Champions)

    We go to Paul Heyman doing the worst pushups I think I've ever seen as Brock Lesnar looks on disgusted. Tazz "Not exactly textbook." Brock "If Edge somehow beats you, I will bust you in half." Brock grabs the belt and walks off as Paul looks scared.

Match 8

Edge vs Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman for the WWE Championship in a Handicap Match

  This was originally supposed to be The Undertaker taking on Brock but Taker's injuries were too severe in the storyline, truth was he was out until Royal Rumble taking care of his newborn, so Edge was his replacement. Edge enters first with the Smackdown blue tights and his original "You Think You Know Me" theme song. Heyman enters wearing his normal suit, hat and tie. Michael Cole shills the No Mercy match as the "most brutal, bloodiest and best match in WWE history." At this point in time, that statement maybe true. Edge grabs the belt during referee instructions and Lesnar promptly snatches it away. Jerk! Edge and Brock circle to start and Heyman jumps off the apron when Edge fakes coming after him. Paul puts his Yankees hat on backwards as Lesnar tells him to stay outside and do nothing. They tie up and Brock throws Edge halfway across the ring. Edge ducks under a series of charges and mocks Brock's warmup dance. Brock has enough and drives Edge 15 feet backwards into the corner before hitting a series of shoulders to the mid-section. Brock stomps a mudhole in Edge before whipping him into the corner. A first charge eats elbow and the second is turned into a drop toe hold into the corner. Brock staggers into a dropkick which sends him through the ropes and to the outside. Paul tries to calm down Brock as Tazz calls Heyman a goof and a slimy scumbag. Paul and Brock walk around the ring before Lesnar gets back in to do his warmup dance. Edge ducks under a clothesline then jumps into a sunset flip for 1....2..nope. Brock goes for a press slam but Edge turns that into a sunset flip for a deuce. Lesnar goes on offense before Edge mocks him again. An angry Lesnar charges put Edge pulls the top rope down and Brock goes flying out. Brock kicks over the steel steps as once again Heyman tries to calm him down. Edge can wait no more so he goes outside to attack. Edge lands a series of right hands until Lesnar gets the upperhand by ramming Edge's head into the side of the ring. Edge then reverse whips Brock into the ringpost. Heyman sneaks over and grabs Edge's leg from outside when Brock attacks. Heyman hops around like a fool as Lesnar misses a charge in the corner. Edge delivers a flying spinning wheel kick to Brock then spears Heyman off the apron to Tazz's delight. Edge turns around into an overhead btb suplex. Lesnar drags Edge outside and puts the boots to him. Lesnar drives Edge into the ringpost and rolls him in. The cover gets a deuce as Lesnar continues to puts the boots to him. Cole and Tazz shill Brock's recent accomplishments as he delivers a backbreaker. Edge eventually staggers to his feet and rallies with right hands but runs into a shoulderblock. A cover gets 2 as Lesnar pounds away with forearms then slowly stalks the challenger. Tazz makes a great point in saying TV doesn't do Lesnar justice and he's even more of a monster in person. Brock then does a wishbone boston crab (yes you heard that right) before Edge crawls to the ropes. Brock taunts Edge then locks in the first resthold 10 minutes into it. Edge does the fade then revive routine before powering out of the hold. Edge ducks under a clothesline then goes for a bodypress but Brock catches him in midair. He goes for the F-5 but Edge rolls out of into a pinning combination for 1....2...nope. Brock almost takes Edge's head off with a clothesline but the cover gets a 2. Brock goes for a collegiate style ride then turns it into a german suplex for 1...2.nope. Back to the ride to wear down Edge as he does the fade then revive routine again. Brock drives Edge into the buckle as the bald Heyman looks on. Brock misses a clothesline in the corner and Edge dropkicks him in the back. Edge baseball slides Heyman into the announce table but turns around into a spinebuster. The cover...the count....NOOOO! Tazz enjoys the replay of Heyman going down as Brock continues to taunt Edge. Brock shoulderblocks the challenger in the corner then delivers a running one in the opposite corner. Brock chokes Edge on the bottom rope with a boot but another whip/charge eats ringpost. Edge rolls up for 1...2..nope. Edge goes for a running clothesline and Brock no sells. Edge lands another one but again Brock goes nowhere. Edge ducks under a clothesline and delivers a flying forearm (nowhere near as cool as Santana's). Edge goes for another spinning wheel kick but Brock catches him then goes for another F-5. Edge rolls out and plants Brock face first into the mat. Brock goes for a clothesline but Edge ducks under it and lands Edge-O-Matic and hooks the legs for 1....2...negative. Edge clotheslines Brock over the top and out and grabs Heyman on the apron. Edge brings Paul in the hard way then goes upstairs. Edge hits a flying axehandle smash on Heyman and covers for 1....2....NOOOO, Lesnar pulled him off at the last second. Edge kicks Brock out of the ring then goes back to the stop only to drop onto Lesnar on the floor. Heyman rolls out of the ring as Edge rolls Brock inside before going back to the top. Edge delivers a flying dropkick but the cover gets a deuce. Edge goes upstairs for the 3rd time but Brock ducks and Edge takes out referee Mike Chioda instead. Edge turns around into an F-5 but at the last second reverses it into Edgecution. Edge covers but Chioda is out and there's no count. Paul throws Lesnar a chair and says he's got this. Paul sneaks to the other side of the ring and says "HEY YOU SONOVABITCH!" as Edge swipes at him. Brock swings and misses as Edge ducks under and spears the champion. Chioda revives and Edge covers for 1,.....2...YE..NOOOOOOO! Edge can't believe it as he goes back to the top rope. Edge jumps off into a chair shot to the ribs. Brock finally lands the F-5 and covers for 1.,..2....3 and that's it. The crowd deflates as Lesnar retains the title. The refs tend to Edge as Brock celebrates at the entrance way. Heyman then stalks Edge with a chair as he chases the refs away with it. Paul "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO MY RIBS? YOU SPEARED ME! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE?" Edge then kicks the chair in Heyman's face then delivers the Edgecution to send the crowd home happy with Edge's moral victory. The match itself was good, its just too bad that it was on this event and not an American ppv that would have drawn money.

Time of match: 18:50

Winner: Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman by pinfall (Brock retains the WWE Championship)

   

      This was just six days after NO MERCY and plus it was a British ppv so not much can be expected or noteworthy. The event drew 13,416 people down from the 15,612 from the previous year. As I mentioned before this would be the last Rebellion for some reason and other than the upcoming Insurrextion in June there hasn't been another British ppv in 9 years since. The next American ppv is 2002 SURVIVOR SERIES but as for this:  2 1/2 stars out of 5. There's absolutely nothing noteworthy that happened but the matches were decent. I wouldn't recommend it unless you're trying to complete a collection or a British fan.